Friday, April 20, 2012

Examining Submission Journaling Exercise - Day 3

How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?

I have always acquiesced to those around me, and I have a heart for service. If I am with friends and they say they are too busy to cook with their schedule, I make meals and freeze them so they only need to pop them in the nuker. Or if someone says I need a doctor that does this and have no idea where to begin to look, I'll come up with a list. It is inconceivable to me if someone is in need, not to give the most that I can to alleviate the situation.

In my three prior relationships, I attempted to solicit my partners into being the dominant party, taking control. I tried to solicit them to institute a discipline aspect into the relationship. Yeah, ummm - that didn't work. But then again, they were domineering, but not Dominant. When I first started researching this lifestyle I learned that children who come from abusive homes can often become submissive by nurture, and that makes sense. We become used to being subjugated. I think this is part of the reason that I will bristle against chest-pounding 'dominants'.

With Daddy, it was slow and gentle. I saw the fabric of his character, my trust in him flourished, and I flexed under his hand. I am the willow and he is the wind that moves me, gently without breaking me. With him, there is no feeling of subjugation. There is exaltation. There is joy. He honors my submission, and I want to give him more. He lifts me up. He holds me up. He fills me up. He completes me. I am precious to him. And that leaves me completely awed and breathless.

4 comments:

  1. That last paragraph was absolutely beautiful! I love reading what you write, you're always so eloquent.

    I am going to steal this jornaling prompt. Lol. Monster had a look at it and said it was a good one.

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    1. Thanks :) I cannot even begin to describe how he makes me feel. I only hope I give him even a small fraction of what he gives to me.

      Aww, Monster just wantsa see what lovely things you'll say about him.

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  2. This was just lovely. You have captured the feeling of being a submissive woman and the love/gifts that we receive from our husbands (or boyfriends).

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  3. Thank you very kindly. It's very hard to put into words and I was afraid that I had not done it justice. People think we sacrifice with little understanding of how very much we receive in return. I have never been loved so completely.

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