Examining Submission Journaling Exercise - Day 27

Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

 I'm not sure I entirely understand 'submissive desires'. I guess that would apply more to a bedroom submissive kind of dynamic. As I said, I hate labels, but if I had to label us, the closest would be DD with somewhat of a biblical model of submission. I an not submissive to Ward in some matters, or situations. I am submissive to Ward all the time. I defer to his leadership. My only submissive desire as I understand it, is to give the gift of my surrender to Ward, and to serve him, and to have my submission received and treasured.

Fantasies? I have never trusted anyone enough to play with rope, and bondage. I would like very much to try that with Ward. This is not because I have ever fancied rope - it has always terrified me. I trust Ward implicitly enough to offer him that fear. And frankly, the idea of being totally at Ward's mercy, knowing that he would never in a million years harm me is incredibly exciting.

Examining Submission Journaling Exercise - Day 23

Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

I won't answer to whether there are things in the submission of others that I question, dislike or find repellent.  This is because I believe that we are all served by different things. What serves me does not necessarily serve others, and what serves them does not necessarily serve me. It is not my place to question anyone else's submission. It is my job to be the best me that I can be, to be true to myself and to my Daddy.

Are there things that would not work for me? Certainly, and most of them revolve around humiliation. And that is because of my childhood. But I acknowledge that that particular dynamic does work for some. From a strictly play point of view, we're pretty tame, little rope, lots of spanking, and I guess what some would call submission 'exercises' - which is such a cold term. He will ask me to do things for him, which might be outside of my comfort zone to stretch me. These are never difficult, objectionable things which would stretch not my limits but my sensibilities. Daddy has complete respect for my sensibilities and my do-not-go-there places. The things he asks me to do more fun, playful things. They reinforce my obedience, my submission, and actually not only strengthen my submission, but my own feelings of femininity.

The only thing I have ever really questioned about my submission is if there was a place for me to be who I was in this world.