Happy Birthday, Daddy!

  

On this day. I find myself reflective. That should be the other way around, I imagine, and perhaps it is reflective for you, too. 

On this day. I give thanks, thanks to the God who perhaps knew that there was unmet need, or who knew that I needed a hero. I give thanks that he took so many good, pure, wholesome, loving, compassionate characteristics and placed them in your heart. 

I give thanks to the woman who loved a man so much that she expressed her love in the creation of a life. I give thanks that she nurtured and nourished you, heart, mind, body and soul from the moment that God breathed you into her body.

I give thanks that for the first time in my life I am seen, really seen; that I am loved richly without restraint or condition. I give thanks that I see things about myself that are good, because you see them, because you know me better than I know myself, because you care to give me the gift of clear sight. I give thanks, on my knees, with tears in my eyes for the greatest gift I have ever known... the gift of a man, tall, strong, gentle, firm, honorable, loving and compassionate.

Every time I look at you and with your every look; with your every touch; with your every smile; with every deep and melodic laugh; with every word that flows like deep, rich honey from your lips; with your breath soft upon my hair; every time I breath in the scent of you; with the strength of your arms enfolding me - I am grateful, humbled, surrendered, owned.....and so very happy.

You spoke and said "If I could be your hero...", silly man, you already are my hero. You are every shining, bright thing that is right with my world. I am blessed. I love you with my all. 

Happy Birthday, my darling love. 

Strength and Softness and Balance

                                                 

 Strength... The word has defined my life.  I understand it deeper all the time, and I respect it's something that I have had to have all of the days of my life.  When I was a child, I never measured up to the expecations of it... And now sometimes I have to learn that their are other things in life that mean so much more than mere strength.  I'm 6'4 275lbs and I am strong... sometimes, I let my youngest hang off of my arm and enjoy that expression of wonder and brightness that only exists in the very young. Still, next to mental, emotional, and spiritual strength, my physical strength is nothing. There are things I don't like to talk about, and I promise that I won't get into here, but I have definitely seen more than my share of hard times throughout my life. The battles of the heart and mind are the toughest for me and that seems to have been the case since I was young. Still sometimes I must remind myself that at times there are no easy answers and there are no shortcuts  when it comes to dealing with the minds and hearts of the ones that I hold dear, the ones that look to me for answers.

                                                                      

 Sometimes the physical expression of my strength comes in handy and in fact is quite useful.  I am a good one to know when there is moving to be done, I'm deceptively athletic and am often able to parlay these physical skills into completing work and work related task quicker and more efficiently. I am prouder still of the mental and  emotional strength that I am able to provide my family with. Our boys have special needs  and many times they need a stable, male influence that provides  mentorship, confidence, and a voice of experience. I know that they haven't always had that, and it thrills me when I am able to help them see the actualization of their own potential.  More than strength alone, I have also realized that somtimes, more than just goal oriented focus and a direct, stern approach, they also need my unconditional acceptance, patience, and wisdom.  As I pondered these things, It became abundantly clear that these concepts can and should be easily applied to a DD/TTWD relationship. 

                                                   

 Throughout our relationship, I have learned and discovered that sometimes my initial thoughts on a subject or experience often require a second look... We both put a lot of work into this relationship, and I am one HoH who is ready to admit that he cares enough to be worried about the message that he sends his Wife.  Sometimes I don't always communicate well... and while I'm not proud of the way that I've handled everything, I generally feel that we do a good job of giving each other the respect, honor and attention that we as individuals deserve, but also as a couple... Sometimes a direct, logic-oriented approach just isn't the answer. Sometimes we get the most mileage and growth by making ourselves emotionally available to each other when we are at our most vulnerable.  Our life is often hectic, loud, noisy, and full of interesting little twists and turns that often leave us frazzled... it goes without saying that a frazzled husband or wife does not make for a smooth relationship environment.  Thus, it behooves me, the HoH, to be mindful of his words and deeds and balanced in his approach to his relationship.

                     

                                                     

Sometimes being my June's soft landing place, her shoulder to cry on and her ear to listen when things aren't easy is a something that I am proud to be able to give her.  Balancing strength, discipline, love, and  reciprocity yields big benefits, and while I don't always get everything right... She loves me enough to let me learn, let me grow, and do the same for me when I need it... I really don't want to think about where I would be if it weren't for June.. Even when I am not at my best she shows me that she loves me, she doesn't just tell me, she shows that she has faith in me... faith in us and in turn, this gives me the kind of confidence that a HoH requires in order to be effective... I am blessed and thankful to be able to count on my June for love, support and understanding and I hope that she can say the same of me. 

                                                               

Finding the balance between strength and softness and recognizing these same qualities within each other is a very helpful tool when we are finding each other through stress and day to day life. It gives us a guide in the difficult times and highlights and accentuates the good times.  We hope that you all have an opportunity to see what Balancing strength and softness can do for your relationship... You won't be disappointed.


Her POV:

Have I mentioned how very much I like it when Daddy calls me 'his June'? How very warm and like an enchanted princess it makes me feel?...

I have never had any one I could depend on I was always the one who had to be strong for everyone. And it wore me out. I wonder sometimes that Daddy can continue to exhibit that strength of heart and of character I worry that it will wear on him as well. But he seems to thrive on it. And it is so lovely to be able to sink into him.

I know that we have very high and exacting standards for our relationship, but in all reality I think Daddy is too hard on himself regarding how he communicates. I have never had anyone who cares so deeply about hearing my concerns and communicating well.

And in those times when it is hard, when I shut down, and he pulls it out of me, and I'm sure he will run for the hills, he never does. He uses that strength to pull out those things from my heart, and then he holds me up when I am sure I cannot go another step.

I do have faith in my Daddy and slowly he's teaching me to have faith in myself. I am proud of my Daddy, and what he brings to our family. I am proud of how well we communicate, I am proud of this man who has been along so long, and never exposed to children, let alone sometimes difficult children, and a definitely difficult woman, can hold us up and steer us in the right direction as a productive, cohesive unit that moves with grace and unity.

The Gift of Time

                                                     

 There are 24 hours in a day. Just 24, no more, no less. Often it feels like there isn't enough of it to go around.  But, I would ask, Is there any gift more precious? The gift of one's time, passion, and energy are among the most precious gifts that we can give.  I think that's one of the things missing from many "modern" couples.  Sure we all have work to consider and then there is our own individual interest and stress to relieve. But there is one thing that I try to remain vigilant about.... that's love.  It's pretty easy to say that one loves another, but then again it's quite another thing to show it. Do I still go out with the guys after work and catch part of the game and take in a brew? Sure, but I also realize the value in giving people rain-checks and giving my family the time and attention that they require to grow.

                                                   

 It can be pretty easy to fall into a rut at times, or dare I say it... take each other for granted, but giving each other the time and attention that couples need.  Sometimes our domestic responsibilities and our schedules get hectic. Having two active school age children is a challenge at the best of times, but when you account for winter weather, the morning pokieness of our oldest, work, vehicles, people being under the weather, breakfast, lunch, bills, work  hmmm I'm sure I left some things out, but it's easy to see how even the most dedicated and vigilant could be overwhelmed and out of sorts at the end of a long, busy day.

                                                 

   

Sometimes the only real solution is to make time. No, I'm not a wizard and I realize that not everything is as simple as all that, but sometimes making the time to do even something just small can have HUMONGOUS benefits.  That's where it falls on us guys.  As an HoH I feel that it is my duty to assess the situation in the home, monitor stress and fatigue levels and when necessary to make time for my children or my woman when it is clear that they  need me to do so. My suggestions?  Kick her out of the kitchen and finish dinner, Take the kids out for a while so she can have a few hours to herself. Take the laundry basket from her and tell her to put her feet up and relax. 

                                                                                         

Sometimes making time means saying no to friends, canceling plans and knowing that sometimes  the best thing to do is to do nothing... No, no, I'm not sure you understand, nothing.  Sometimes nothing is disastrous, sometimes a weekend  of relaxation, and snuggling on the couch can be more productive than traveling too and from, running around like chickens without heads, and generally adding stress to the two days of the week where stress just don't have  a place.

                                                                    

Sadly, I can't just add 5 more hours or tack on two more days to the week, but what I can do is be attentive to my lady and her needs, spend time with my children and use what time we do have to bolster and nourish our ever-tightening bonds and feed the spirits and minds of the ones I hold dear.  I would encourage you all to find a way, or make a way to give each other and your families the attention that they require, need, deserve, and thrive from.  Who knows what you will discover?  Who knows what priceless moments are just waiting to be had?   Let each discovery you make bolster your efforts to be the best you can for each other.... Time's a wastin'

                                                               

Her POV: 

 There IS no greater gift we can give to each other. We all understand that principle with regard to our children. Better to give them your time, to show them they are worthy and valuable, than to buy all the latest gadgets. Why then would we give less to our families and to our partners? As our time nourishes our children, increases intimacy, increases trust and communication, so it does when we devote time to each other and to our relationships. When we give the gift of time, we also give the gift of understanding, we give refreshment to the soul, we relieve and wash away stress and strip away the world and all the things that do not belong and give shelter, safe harbor to our loved ones and let them be their best and most authentic selves.

Asking for Help vs Topping from the Bottom

                                                    

                                               

Today I would like to spend a few min talking about two topics that I feel can have profound effects on  DD/TTWD relationships. Topping from the bottom and asking for the help we need in order to not only function properly, but to feel comfortable in the roles of our dynamics.

Topping from the bottom is more than simply making a suggestion or two during the discourse of expressions of dominance and submission, spanking, maintenance or other activities designed to enhance our relationships, clear the air, maintain or express roles. Topping from the bottom is also emotional manipulation, talking over someone else, being deliberately passive aggressive, emotionally distant and or blatantly disobedient.  Thus defined, it becomes clear that topping from the bottom is a huge negative that cannot be allowed to create distance or emotional unrest.

                                                 

I guess from my own HoH perspective, I find it to be indicative of a lack of attention properly applied and paid to the one that we love the most.  I try very hard to make sure that I give June the attention that she needs in order for her to feel loved, confident and assured.  A cursory glance throughout the DD/TTWD/Spanking  lifestyle and relationship universe confirms that in many instances topping from the bottom occurs in a disrespectful and unhealthy fashion as well as disturbing frequency.

Topping from the bottom in a TTWD/DD relationship is not only disrespectful and rude, but it often times masks real emotions and hides the needs of all of those represented. When the time comes to express my role in our relationship I understand that I must be remain emotionally available, attentive and prepared to receive June's needs. Even when there is a need for correction or stress release, I know that more than just giving her what I wish her to feel, I must use my judgement to ascertain  what will be of the most benefit to not only her, but our relationship as well.

I am sometimes humbled and left in awe of the great gift of trust and responsibility that she places in my hands and I assure you ladies and gentlemen, that none of that is lost on me. I know that it takes a  whole lot of trust for her to be able to believe in me, and my intentions for not just her heart and mind, but to trust that I will give her body what it needs, no matter how difficult that may be to accept or go through. I really am humbled by this responsibility and would pass these values along to other men in the pursuit of  happier, healthier relationships!

                                        

Lets talk about physical application for a few moments... sometimes simply allowing ourselves to feel each other requires us to look where it's dark, where we have trouble, where we struggle. Sometimes the things that we need are difficult and navigating these issues with grace requires strength,  a ear that listens and the kind of deep honesty that doesn't sugar coat things that aren't easy to hear... This one goes both ways, by the way... Sometimes the greatest gift that June has given me has been her honesty... Her honesty when it would have been easier to do less, or to put the paddle down and scoop her up into my arms before she released the negativity and the walls had come down, but as we all know, what is easy and what is right are two different things.

The actual act of spanking always requires thought and action, but when the impact that is needed is more emotional than physical, it pays to consider every action, word, thought and deed. From the implements we use (yes even the ones that we don't like so much) to the positions (you know, the ones that help us feel the most submissive)  has to be thought out with thought and care.  Kind words, a soft touch following intensity, and an obvious display of affection and love are all very much required.  In truth you might say that  physicality is easier than emotion and thought and you would very much be right to say so. The physical expression of dominance and submission is just the active expression of two hearts longing to be in sync, indeed sometimes, a firm hand and rod wielded firmly with compassion and love helps to "Tune up the band" so to speak.

                                                      

I have known June long enough to understand her emotions and the way she expresses them. I try very hard to be attentive to her heart, mind, and body and generally speaking I hope that I do a good job of this. Sometimes though, I know when she has a hard time, that I need to be open to her expressing her need for help.  Help in feeling herself, in feeling me. The need for safety, warmth, and security when perhaps things aren't going well with work, school, the kids or life in general.  These are the times that she ask for help, I keep that door open and allow her to come to me anytime.  I guess the difference lies in intent.  Asking for help, and topping from the bottom differentiate themselves. Asking is proactive, asking is acknowledging that we are indeed not superhuman and that at times we need our partner to reach out, take our hand and lead and that despite what life has taught us, despite what the media portrays that it is in fact okay to do so!

We would encourage everyone to ask for help when they need it... It takes strength, heart and a willingness to acknowledge our own weakness, but there in lies the true strength and beauty of our relationships... To do so is to gain ground, growth and emotional providence in the face of stress, adversity and negativity.

                                                   

I'll end by saying that sometimes the hardest things to do are the ones that help us grow the most as a couple. I know that none of these things are easy, but I solemnly promise that they are worth every ounce of time, effort and self-exploration!

                                                                  

                                            

Her POV:

Before we were us, when we were still 'just friends' I asked Daddy if it was okay to ask for something...to try something, for more if needed, for action when it was needed and none seemed forthcoming, or if that was topping from the bottom. He said that no, he did not see it as topping from the bottom to present a need to your Dominant. You are merely helping him to know you and your needs. And you are not making demands, you are simply presenting him with your needs, which is what you are supposed to do... asking him to meet your needs.

The first time we were together, in the cuddling afterglow, I shared with him that he could spank harder. And he did. He wouldn't have known what I needed if I had not shared, but the application was entirely up to him. It was only providing a tool for him. I have continued to share, and he has learned me. I don't need to make as many requests. Because we have open honest and consistent communication, he is able to read my body language, the tone of my vice and give me what I need.

Had I manipulated, had I not been open and honest in expressing my needs he would not have an honest gauge. Manipulation is insidious, and sometimes too easy to do, and in my opinion comes from fear to open ourselves. If I am afraid to tell him I need something, I may think that if I mope, or cry or sigh that he will interpret that I need something. That doesn't always work, and it is manipulative, manipulating his emotions rather than simply saying, "Love, can you please help me, I feel..." Or even, "I don't know how I feel, but I'm not me, and I need to feel your Dominance. Or I need to feel my place. I need to feel safe and cared for. Please help me." It expresses humility, vulnerability and trust.

I am an emotional girl. I have lots of baggage. I have things I feel that I don't always understand. I often feel less, bad, scared. If I were not always honest with him when I felt that way, if I did not ask for his help to find my way through, is that not breaking one of the most fundamental rules of DD? To withhold my heart and my needs from him would be dishonesty, by design and/or omission. Not healthy, and knowing that there was something there and trying to get his reaction without honest communication? - that's topping from the bottom.

I am grateful that he allows me the honesty to give him my heart and my fears and my needs I submit them to him, and I put my trust in him to lead me through.

Images of Ward and June - Part 2

We all exist before we find our one, though some of us never really live. I existed before him...small and inconspicuous and quiet so I could disappear.... it was safer. He saw something, stopped, stooped and reached his hand into that place and called to me. And I was compelled to respond...not with a conscious mind...with all the fire and light and desire and fear inside screaming for a safe place and finding his arms. There I flourish, there I burn without being consumed, fly without fear,find wonders never imagined, and peace...for the first time.       

 

            

Surely then you can see that I am home...in you...that without you I would return to a vacuum, for you are that which feeds my soul. There is no choice because you are the answer to every question I have ever had and I cannot imagine being without you...eternity plus a day won't be enough.
















 Someday came when I met you, my love... and every moment before became irrelevant...except that they prepared me for you, and made sure that I would remember to tell you every single day how much I love you, how special you are, and how if you are the reward, every single thing has been worth it to be loved by you.
                                                  

...and I love him...

HIS POV:   

I won't remember before and can only dare treasure the now... Names, faces, places hold no meaning.  If my life was a desert, your love is the rain transforming my abrasive grit into a garden of love and delight. I am a empty vessel standing before the flowing fountain of your love.  Perfect in reciprocity, your love calms me like waves lapping upon the shore in the sparkling sunlight or our love.  I love you, June!

June's Journey and What Spanking Means to Her

You've seen in some previous posts that Daddy will often give me submission exercises to help me feel my place, to expand and understand my submission. These can be physical tasks, or they can be to investigate starting a blog, or to write an essay. Recently he texted me from work and instructed me to write an essay detailing how I feel about spanking, what it feels like, what it does for me and what it means to me.

What emerged was something of my road-map to our dynamic, my road-map home. I asked Daddy if I could share this here.

         

We've talked about how I came into being a spanko before. I just came this way. From my earliest memories, I was fascinated by it, read and cut out all the Dear Abby & Anne Landers posts about it (I can still remember one of them by heart - how weird is that?). As a young adult, I sought stories about spanking. No Internet then, so harder to find people to connect with, or articles, forums - anything where I could have discovered more about myself and my desires. 

Then came the Internet and access to videos - and really? - . Not those crazy contrived scenes, naughty school girls,  or really heavy BDSM  There was a small percentage of them that appealed to me, and most of them had to do with discipline. And not those crazy guys who bill themselves as disciplinarians, bringing all the recalcitrant girls of the world to toe. And not the ones where girls bratted to get spanked, being deliberately disrespectful and defiant - shudders. The ones that appealed to me were the ones that addressed discipline within a relationship, where there was calmness and talking, not anger and yelling and cruel words.

When my ex left and I decided to go in search of what I wanted - needed - I had come to a basic understanding about what spanking did for my emotional state. You already know that I tend to assume responsibility for everything that goes wrong.... hence our newest rule. But I discovered that for me spanking was a way to take that intensity of emotion that I felt pretty regularly, all the stress, all the feelings of having wronged, anxiety, all those negative things, that pain inside and allowed me to transfer it to flesh and - poof - magic. I didn't know yet about DD/TTWD. Where did one go looking for someone willing to spank them?

So I started in the place I thought was the only place to start, with various BDSM 'dating' sites. Everyone just looking for a hook-up & I'm not a hook-up kinda girl. Then I found some spanking dating sites, and pretty much more of the same - I'm  going through your town, can I stop by and spank you? Excuse me? But ummmmm, NO! Then I found Fetlife, not quite as creepy, more like a social network. I found a local group and found someone I could engage with, and do a little exploring, with lots and lots of limits, and it being somewhat of a learning experience, but missing the spiritual component. It gave me some of what I was looking for, but it did not feed my soul. I found some groups with people that I could identify with, and learn more about myself and my desire to submit. I found a mentor, a very nice gentleman, who had a girl, but was willing to answer my questions, and help me understand what and who I was, and to redirect me when people tried to tell me that I was something different.

That niche from the videos, and stories -where could I find that? I kept seeking, and following leads off Fetlife, and came across the concept of DD. There was that thing that I was looking for. There were some factions that were just not for me, I'm not into the whole regimented, formulaic mode, I wanted something organic, something as easy as breathing. There I found another mentor, a woman who identified as a little, and who told me that just because I was submissive didn't mean I had to be an open book for everyone, but only for my one, when I found someone worthy of me. Worthy of me? What a foreign concept.

Then I found you, because the cosmos aligned and because I believe in an attitude of gratitude. I thought you were taken, but you weren't. And all the while I thought you were too good to be true, and certainly too good for the likes of me. And here we are. And you are perfect for me...my puzzle piece. And for the first time, everything is as it always should have been, different than I have ever known, and what I have always dreamed of. You asked me to write what spanking feels like to me, what it does for me, what I think about it. But I had to tell you all of that first, and if you didn't know, if by some chance I have not communicated well enough what you mean to me - you're very different, you're what I have waited for all my life. And everything with you is like nothing ever before. With you I have the spiritual depth that I craved. The first time we spoke, your voice was a key that reached deep down into my belly, into some visceral place that no one ever imagined  and I felt the first turn of the key in what would be the release of my truest self. You gave me the gift of being who I was meant to be.

So for us, it is something deep that we share. For me, spanking is a very deep expression of my submission to you. It is my saying that I trust you with my body, but also with my heart, my mind, my emotions. It is saying that I trust you to understand what I need, and to be diligent in giving it,even if it might be hard, even if you might be tired. I trust that you will put us ahead of everything else, to clear away the barriers, and to ensure that we both feel our places.  I do feel safe in your hands. I feel loved and treasured that you would take the time to give me relief, take the time to establish our roles and allow me to feel soft and submitted, value us enough to clear the air of resentment and petulance and give us the gift of a clean slate, or just engage in this most intimate of acts with me. I feel honored in your acceptance of my humility, and that you lift me and show me that in your eyes, this makes me radiant and beautiful.

In terms of my submission, I don't fear any implement, they are only extensions of the hand of my love. I  lay willingly across your lap, or at your side, and even if I have transgressed, your touch is soft and full of love, your words are soft, sweet, affirming, comforting, and I would take anything that you choose to give me. I relish those little moments of intensity when I feel I might crack, and am able to breathe out that resistance and offer that to you.  I relish that you will feel that intensity, and choose that moment to extend your hand and whisper - Daddy's right here, love, here's my hand - or stop to rub and stroke my bottom, my back, my hair, to stop and speak soft words, to encourage me and speak of your love and pride.

In terms of the physicality, does it hurt? Yes, it does. It's deep stripped-down, nitty-gritty, pain, but it is pure and it is purifying, and I can offer that to you. I love you enough to bear any pain...you know that, and that knowledge is enough. Under the pain, there is the luxury of that deepest of connections. There are the moments, even in the midst of correction that speak to love, devotion, unconditionality, and forgiveness. In discipline, I feel the safety of your Dominance and control, I feel the security of my place, I feel your guardianship, I feel the pleasure that only you can bring. The pleasure is you inside my head, I feel us, pure energy, it's intoxicating and I want more. 

In terms of my emotions, I still believe it takes conflicts and anxieties inside of me and delivers them to flesh where they evaporate. It is a cleansing of all that does not belong inside me, or between us. It is the tool by which we become closer, share more, and by which I become the strongest, best person that I can be.

For us, spanking is part of the thing that defines and continues to refine us. For us it is devotion - your Dominance is your devotion unto me, and my submission is my devotion unto you. For us it is our sacrament.


HIS POV: 

As perfectly stated above, spanking is an engrained and analogous part of our DD/TTWD as well as our life as a fully functioning and communicative couple with a deeply intense bond that is further enhanced by something that is truly, uniquely and totally ours.  June and I both had the unique advantage of having not only a deep understanding and need of dominance, submission and spanking, but also a thirst to affect each other in the deepest and most heartfelt ways.

Spanking itself is a many splendored thing that even now after all of the exploration that June and I have done continues to delight and find new relevance and true comfort in the face of the chaotic world around us. Spanking unlocks June's submission and reveals the tenderest thoughts, brings emotion to surface and purifies both of our hearts.

June m'lady, I am humbled to call you mine and it is a true pleasure to be the facilitator of pleasure, pain, passion and growth in our relationship. I relish the gifts of submission and control that you honor and entrust me with. It is a true honor and the deepest of pleasures to fulfill your desires and needs... Even in correction you know my deepest love and affection. When given in pleasure my body  sings to yours and yours echos pleasure in the deepest.... it is a beauty that I've never known and don't deserve. I will guard your heart and plumb the depths of our love and because of this... this beauty within us, we will grow ever stronger in love and life.

The positive effects of a good spanking

Have you ever sat and considered the impact of a evening devoted to a good, thorough spanking and  earth-shaking love-making and pleasure?  Normally this is something that we probably wouldn't talk about here, but the potential benefits are worth discussing and using.  Throughout the time that June and I have written this blog, we have come to understand that several folks out there are... what's the term?  "spank-nos".  Even still, when we consider the impact that stress can have, we must understand the value that a good firm spanking can bring to the table.  I tell June all the time and I think it's worth repeating here.... Good girls get firm spankings too, it helps them stay good, and in combination to deep, truly connective  intimacy that  smooths away the aches and stresses of the day and bring us to that special place that can only be reached by a man being intimate with his woman.  Stress relief spanking require a lot of forethought and communication. It should be made clear that this is not correction or punishment, but in fact a conduit for relief and rebalance through the vigorous application of positive and direct energies.  It also becomes necessary to find (or make) time to get the most out of this carefully considered time.




 Making love is clearly an important part of any healthy relationship. I think some people don't realize it's true value and in some instances, might minimize or underrate the worth of spending quality time giving and receiving pleasure from our partners.  There is something very spiritual about making love, in addition to the sights and sounds that make our blood boil and our passions rise, it seems only fitting that sex can open many doors, heal many wounds, smooth over feelings and reconnect after periods of heightened stress and emotion.  The true value of physical release is in the freedom it brings, us.  Less talking, less thinking, passion and unconditional embrace - these things are always important.



The following section is just a series of suggestions.  We'd highly recommend trying one or more of these out!




 If you don't already June and I would highly recommend establishing a "Date Night".   Find a sitter, have the kids spend the night with Grandma etc... Go see a movie, go watch dinner, Redbox it, go bowling, spend some time laughing, and celebrating the unique bond that you share.  Spend some time giving her a bubble bath or a pedicure and really spend some time pampering her... Relaxation is the key here.









Before you give her the spanking she needs, spend some time spoiling her, talk to her, let her know that she has your complete and undivided attention. When the time comes, take her in hand and give her the spanking she needs. By the spanking that she needs, I mean take the time to observe her, know her body language and the weight of her heart... Drive out the stress and take the time to show her that this is as important to you as it is for her.  No distractions, no half-hearts only pure and unblemished love.  Hold her close, let her emote, and let the stress vanish with the conviction of your hearts.

Give her the time she needs to  feel it, hold her in your arms and be there for her. Leave only room for love and light..... Kiss her slow and soft, and then let your love for each other and your bodies do all of the talking.







We think spanking can be a very useful and wonderful part of a healthy relationship. Even in the context of pleasure and stress relief we find new meaning and a wonderful use of time and passion. We recommend it!



                                            

Her POV:
When I suffer stress, or when I suffer emotional pain, I need to be spanked. It is a way - for me - to take the emotional pain and transfer it to flesh - and poof - all gone. A calm relaxed girl who can move through the day without the heaviness in my heart, not feeling guilt if I feel I have been short or less than I wish to be, or my heart is just not where I like it to be. At those times the greatest gift he can give me is the gift of release.

I am a very fortunate girl. Daddy is very sensitive to my mood. And generally he will approach me and whisper in my ear that he knows what I need, and that he will take good care of me...and he always does. Other times I may text or email him at work, and tell him I need his help when he gets home. And sometimes, it's simply a way for us to reconnect after a long week of chores and responsibilities, school - his, mine, the boys'  - for me to feel his delicious control, and for me to be able to bend. That for me is heaven, that puts my brain in that light, dreamy place. It lets me relinquish the negativity that seeps in, and absorb Daddy's love and light. It lets us start fresh and rejuvenated. And it lets this insomniac sleep sweet and undisturbed. For that gift, for his attention and devotion, I am grateful.

Commitment

                                                                  
                                                  
                                               

I want to talk about commitment.  It's a word that I fear that some would take too lightly.  Real commitment whether that is to a task, a job, or to others speaks volumes about one's character and leaves an impression that will not easily be forgotten. Commitment is also easier said than given, especially in a world that increasingly caters to the "easy" or  "instant gratification" crowd. Commitment tests our patience, our willingness to set aside our own ego, our own desires and reveals the true measure and depth of a person's character.  Some ten years or so ago, when I was a much younger man, I  put my hand on God's word and I took an oath... I made a big commitment at a time when perhaps I didn't understand what real commitment was about.

                                                                               

                                                                                                                  

Oh aye, the military definitely influenced the way I speak, the way I think, the way I behave (even now).  Suddenly a young man apart, far away from everything and everyone he ever knew was  thrust into a new and more expectant world that demanded results and expected performance.  Commitment meant not only following orders, and drastically altering my appearance, or getting up at 0-dark hundred, which occurs half an hour before 0-dark thirty.  It was a new lifestyle, a new role and a new ideology.

Then came stress... I can't and in some cases won't go into specifics, but suffice to say that I've been through some things that made me doubt my place in my life, my relationships prior to June, everything. Some time ago I had the fortune to be introduced to and learn so much from a very good friend, whose influence inspired my own personal take on DD/TTWD and the wisdom and growth that individuals and couples can experience. 

                                                                                                          

                                                   

With June, I have been committed from the beginning. Committed to my job as her Husband, her protector, her leader, her lover, her best friend. Being committed on these particular terms is a labor of love and a true conduit for the reciprocity that we present to each other daily. Even when it isn't easy or fun or one of us isn't at our best showing, and displaying the grace and direction of dedication, commitment inspires and causes us to appreciate each other and what we see as important to our relationship and to each other. Sometimes being committed means taking time to connect to June or the boys when I am dead tired or looking forward to something else... but if a HoH isn't dedicated to his family and their needs, what's the point?  I realize that sometimes being a good HoH for my darling and being a good example for our boys means showing them that commitment means

                                                

                                                                   

                                                    

- Being a provider

- Completing the tasks that you have been given, even and especially when we find them distasteful or difficult

- That when you start something, you finish it

-  A real man and a real woman don't fold up like a two-dollar lawn chair when things don't go their way or real life sneaks up on them

- Doing a job that you don't enjoy, is difficult or exhausting to provide your family with their needs and some of the stuff they want, is indeed honorable.

I also have to be a steady and sure example for June and more than just tell her, show her the kind of committed solidarity that neither of us had before each other... I show her by

- Listening
- Giving her my full and undivided attention
- Following through with what I say
- Granting her access to my mind and body even when I ache
- Doing my best for us and each other every single day.

Commitment and DD/TTWD go hand in hand and it is easy to see how any kind of relationship benefits and grows with the careful and thoughtful application of  consistency and commitment. When you are tired, when you are achy, when you just want a moment to yourself, take a second and think. Show your partner your best, even when they are at their worst... Commitment makes us and our stronger for the effort!




                                                 

Her POV:

I have long been dismayed by our disposable society. When things become  inconvenient we give them away, children, pets, the ill, the elderly. We shouldn't have to try harder, evaluate ourselves, extend ourselves, find a way through.This society teaches us to find our way around, to find our way out.

I have always poured all that I had into every relationship, from the very first. Beaten and broken I was offered a way out of the womb donor's house, and replied that I could not, she needed me. Relationship after relationship would find me unhappy, talking to my partner, not getting what I needed and resolving I would double my efforts, be more, do more, love harder.... had to be me, right? Partners out of work, me working four jobs seven days a week, working 16 - sometimes 20 hours a day to get us through. Them, bored, you're always working, you never have time, going out with friends, friends become lovers.When did any of that become okay? When did it become  okay to walkaway from your children because the new girlfriend is much more fascinating? Or stop having them over because the girlfriend treats them poorly.

I'm not perfect, never have been, never will be, never claimed to be, not even close. When I give you my word I will pour my blood, sweat and honest intent into upholding my commitment. When did commitment become an option? When I pledged to love and protect my children, I meant ... mean still, that I will protect them with my life. When I pledged myself and my love to Ward, I meant and reaffirm every day, in every single thought, word, and deed... that I will give him my all, my purest, fiercest, undying, ever-growing love, my deference, my obeisance, my support, my fullest effort, my devotion, the full measure of perfectly imperfect me ...when the sun is shining, when it's warm, when it's easy, and even when I'm tired, even when I am bone weary, even when my heart and mind, and body and soul ache.

This time around, though, it is returned, and that is warm, and comforting ... even on the hardest of days....it gives me strength... it elevates me and makes me better.

Once again, my love, I commit myself to you and to our family. I commit my heart, my mind, my body, my soul, my love and devotion, my obedience, my submission to you. It honors me that you accept. I love you.