Meme's of Ward and June that I love and really do kinda resemble us ;-)

 

Hands down my favorite. Forehead kisses are the best!

Mmmmmhmmmm, that about looks like us!

And just where is your other hand, Ward?? Yup, yup- that looks like us, too...no wonder I love to cook ;)

Yes in fact I do glow like that in the light of his love :)

 

 I love this one, too, they have a secret...wonder what it is?






Ward and June get naughty~!

               Ward! Not in front of our company, Dear!

Last one upstairs is a rotten egg!

HIS POV:
June has done a wonderful job of capturing the playful, soft and loving aspects of our relationship... We look cute together if I do say so myself!

Dominance and Submission Exercises

                                                      

Submission is a valuable and wonderful gift that must be nurtured, developed, maintained and recognized every day to obtain the most worth.  Understanding the lady of the house, what she values and what makes her feel connected and valued most is invaluable to receiving and maintaining her submission.  It could be as simple as a request. It could be as complicated as regular maintenance spankings that are designed and centered around what makes her feel submissive.  The impact that freely given and well maintained submission can bring to a DD/TTWD relationship is substantial, and speaking as a HoH, extremely rewarding.  June and I spend a portion of every day connecting to our  (My dominant, her submissive) sides and nurturing it in ways that provide an immediate and obvious benefit.  "Sweety can you bring me a glass of water?"  "Here let me do that, you go and sit down, rest for a while"   These things are simple, cost nothing and keep the focus on the relationship and the people in it.

                                                    

I recommend finding or making a time in your evening routine to connect.  Spend some time talking, and working on your dominant and submissive roles. Sometimes this might mean working hard to find the grace necessary to submit with a gentle and grateful heart despite the first thoughts and comments that may pop into one's head. It is also important that a HoH recognize and praise the effort. It isn't always easy to submit. Pain, exposure, and being outside one's comfort zone can makes submission a challenge. Improving communication is the goal here.  I'd also like to emphasize the importance of the individuality that belongs to each couple and the suggestions that June and I offer here can be easily reworked to fit your needs.

                                                 


Here are a couple of  dominance and submission exercises.

- Spanking - Well you knew this one was going to be here. Ladies, this is the time to show him that you can gracefully accept and yield to being under his hand. Take a hot bath, have a cup of warm tea, unwind or read for a little while before approaching him. Find something that stings... something that might not be your favorite, or something you don't enjoy. Bring it to him and place yourself right over his lap. Have him spank you a slow to moderate pace and let yourself feel it, embrace the heat and find your grace and submission.

I realize that this can be difficult to do, but that's why we do it. Building grace and accepting dominance when it is difficult is a hallmark of a strong  submissive.

                                                     

For the dominant partner, I recommend giving her praise and grace. It is important for you to let her know that this is in fact, a exercise in submission and that you very much appreciate it's difficulty.

                                                     

For HoH's - Take the lead, take  over when she needs you to.  Walk up behind her, whisper your appreciation in her ear and finish dinner or the dishes,  speaking of dinner, if you both need to decompress, turn dinner down on low, and go to your room and spend some time giving her your full attention and awareness.

                                                        

-Romance - It might sound odd, but a healthy well groomed sense of romance is a very good way to remind ourselves of our place in the relationship.  Write each other letters (pen and paper guys),  take her kisses  and give her the strength and warmth of your body.  We recommend the use of blindfolds, scented candles, molten wax, soft music, restraints  (I know, I know, I sound like a freak, but try it, it works...I promise). Make love like a man and a woman and do so with an unselfish hungry fashion... It will be a delicious experience.


                                               




Finding and nurturing submission leads to ease of communication, increased intimacy, a full and intimate understanding of each other and each other's dreams, ideas, fantasies, wishes and how best to fulfill them. We would encourage you to find and use what works for you to deepen your relationship roles, and greater contribute to the strength of your relationship!




                                            

Her POV:

We've said it before, and I will say it again - TTWD is not one-size-fits-all. You may already have an idea of the things that turn you into girl goo. And there may be others that you learn as you grow together as a couple. Don't be afraid to tell him when something makes you go weak in the knees, or gives you those delicious brain tickles..."I liked when you did ..." All I have to tell Ward is...mmm, that gave me brain tickles, Daddy. Generally, though, he is more than well aware of the effect he has on me by my reaction, and he is not afraid to capitalize on that.

Observe your partner, watch for what makes her softer and turn into you...watch what makes his eyes burn a little brighter, his verbal and physical response become clearer, surer, more confident...sometimes even take on that delicious dark little edge. Show your mindfulness, when you know he has had a hard day, slide behind him on the sofa, massage his neck and shoulders as he reads or watches TV (chances are he won't be doing either for very long), sit at his feet, remove his shoes and socks and massage his weary feet and legs.

We had a conversation after a very seemingly ordinary moment that cranked my gears...I could feel it wash over me, and I could feel myself bending to him. When I told him, he smiled and said that he knew because he could feel my voice turn inward and could see my submission surge in my eyes, in my manner, he could feel me bend. It is pleasurable to serve him.

One thing that I do is try to always be mindful that the things I do for him are a service in my submission... be it that glass of water, or stopping whatever it is I was doing to give him my attention... everything that I do, every look that I give, every response that I utter is an opportunity to express my submission to his leadership.

Worries, Dreams and Ideas

  Sometimes life inspires me.  Not always in ways that I would expect or seek.. and in that there is a certain kind of magic.  Of course there are the things that never fail to inspire or amaze, but sometimes the world around us, our children,  June, or just a pretty song can bring me clarity in the midst of an admittedly stressful life.  Our lifestyle aside, we are like a lot of working class American families and in today's world there is a lot a man has to consider.

I try to be thankful for the things that we have and not take for granted the small comforts and blessings that modern life affords. I try to remember that my family has indeed been blessed and we are light years ahead of where we were last year at this time.  Still even considering our numerous blessings, and how far we have come as a family and as a couple... Sometimes I worry that I don't quite measure up as a father.... (Yes, HoHs can have insecurities)  June has often reassured that I generally do a good job as father and husband,  but sometimes I guess that's just it, I want to give my family the best of everything, I know that that's perhaps not the most logical or even pragmatic view,  but in light of the recent tragedies and it being the holiday season, family has become even more important than ever.

 June and I have both often talked about our childhood experiences and we both agree that we want to give our children a better experience than either of us had. We try to give the kids the kind of positive environment that encourages and inspires growth and communication.

"Children have the right to dream, what will they become?  Where will they grow?  Will they know peace and satisfaction? When a child becomes an adult they learn what they where able to become and no matter how they wish they can no longer claim childhood innocence... No matter what let it be said that children have the right to dream." ~ BTL


We have also talked about our own future and many a lights-out conversation has included sharing our own romantic vision of life after the military, life after finishing school and of course the daunting task of relocating to new quarters.  We won't share all of our ideas but the discussions have in fact illuminated several interesting ideas and possibilities. This kind of soft, intimate conversation is something that I never had even in previous relationships and I never grow tired of it. The quiet hours when we share, communicate and inspire each other are a vital element of our interpretation of TTWD and D/s.

 Normally in my post I share a theme or idea with you, and I guess this post is not so very different. I would encourage you all to find or make a special time of day for you to share your worries, dreams and ideas.  Who knows what you might discover or learn.  Much of what I have learned and shared with June has come from this very special time of day. There is a wonderful warmth that comes from observing the beauty of her inspiration and the sparkle of her eyes when a new and wonderful idea illuminates her mind and lights the wick of her imagination.

Her POV: 

I don't think that Ward understands how simple are my needs, or the needs of our children. Tonight, we were all in the kitchen, making cookies, Daddy participating, sitting at the table with the boys, forming and decorating cookies, me hands in cookie dough, mixing...and weeping. I brought a tray to the table and wrapped my sticky arms around him and kissed him, and thanked him for giving me what I always wanted. Who could want more than that single, gorgeous, poignant moment of family togetherness.

In the living room, the boys playing video games with him, while I made the pizza for dinner, and once I popped it in the oven, came to join them till the buzzer rang. The youngest came and hugged me and said "Thanks for choosing him, mom. I love him, and I'm glad he's here with us." How much more perfect? He worries that he does... who knows what kind of magic...but he has performed the greatest of magics in healing three hearts, in giving us what we never thought we would have... someone to love us like that.

I love that time of night, it's the time that is just ours, no phone calls,no door bells, no  TV, no raucous laughter and play from the boys and their friends. Just he and I, touching, talking, kissing - yum - then spooning, his arm tight around me, our fingers intertwined. The dark can give that extra bit of courage for the difficult subjects. But it always ends well and sweetly, closer for the moment, the touch, the tenderness, the time we devote to being us.

Long before I knew him, I loved the idea of him. Now, he's here, and I love him with the fullness of my being, in a way that words can never express. I always will. 

Expectations

                                            




 Expectations.  Little word, big implications! 

 It's more than just my ideas of how our happy little home should be run.  It's more than just me flexing my muscles as a dominant.  Expectations are the actualization of clear, open communication. I think as the Head of my Home, giving clear, unobstructed expectations clears away confusion and gives us all (myself included) the way ahead. I also think that as long as there are standards, that I have to hold myself to the highest among them, after all how can I make a rule if I myself cannot abide by it? 

                                                   

 I think in today's world expectations almost become even more important. Raising our children into strong successful, positive men is definitely a feat in today's world. Clarity, respect, love and accountability are a vital part of any family structure, but in our home it becomes an integral part of our day to day life.  Having two young boys with SPD makes clear communication extremely important. They need and depend on June's and my consistent love, reinforcement and patience to learn and thrive in a world that isn't always so patient or easy. They respond in kind and give us the honor of loving them with a fastness and surety that brings comfort to us all. Occasionally, this brings us out of our comfort zone but ultimately, that's a good thing!


                                                    


In TTWD, expectations are also of the utmost importance,  She submits with grace and deference, I attempt to honor her by being the kind of man that she deserves and needs.  I don't always feel like I succeed, but she bolsters me and gives me the strength to give her my best and to become better. I expect her submission. I expect her respect. I expect her obedience and I expect in turn to give her comfort. I expect to give her grace, and kindness. I expect to give her my best, even when it isn't always easy or I find myself  conflicted by personal interests. No, our love is greater and I hold myself to this standard because she deserves no less than a man who protects, guides, teaches, disciplines, and loves her to the fullest. Yes, sometimes these expectations are high, but I feel that they need to be.  I am not prepared to settle for good, when great is there to be taken, I am not going to settle for low hanging fruit when the sweetest can be had higher up. I am not part of a generation that expects participation trophies.

Here are some of the Expectations of Our House

-  Communication early and often
-  Maximum Effort
-  Obedience
-  Grace in Dominance and Submission
-   Positive Attitude Always


Of course patience is required and so is a firm hand.  I am sure I am not alone  in understanding the value of being kind and patient. Also of deep value is the security and comfort that comes with knowing that we have each other's backs.  If we slip up or make a mistake, it's not time wasted as long as we come away from the experience with a healthy respect for each other and appreciation of the knowledge that we have gained along the way.  Sometimes being patient doesn't always come as naturally as I'd like to say it does, but understanding each other, and giving each other support is often the surest path to harmony.

Sometimes a firm hand (or hairbrush or strap or... well I'm sure you get the point) are integral to our process,  not necessarily correction but the reinforcement of our love and expectations of one and other.... We know we are different, but really sometimes nothing does the trick quite like a trip upstairs and over the knee.

                                           

We learn from each other every day and value the wisdom and clarity that expectations can bring into our life.  We would not be who we are if we did not have the patience, and drive to expect the best of each other and hold each other to a standard of excellence in love and life.

There are expectations... and they are indeed great!

                                             

Her POV

Like Ward, I think my expectations are higher for myself as an individual than for him. That may seem inequitable, but in our time together, he has proven to exceed every single expectation and or hope that I had, every dream/fantasy/desire that I ever constructed. He is a reward to my heart, and my life of which I hope that I prove worthy.

I have expectations more for our relationship, than for us as individuals. I expect that we will be honest. I expect that we will be caring. I expect that we will hold each other's needs paramount. I expect that we will love each other and give each other and our children our very best. I expect that he will hold me accountable for the standards that we have set. I expect that when I come to him, feeling like I have failed, he will give me the truth, and absolution or relief. I expect that when I come with any burden, he will raise me up. I expect that I will lift any burden that he bears.

I expect that I will give him my very best. I expect that he will give me his very best. I expect that we will make our family our priority. I expect that we will learn and grow and love each other more with every tomorrow.

What would I give him...

...this man who has my heart?

I offer him my complete deference...my "yes, Daddy."

                        

I offer him my obedience with what I hope is not the slightest of hesitation.

                                                    

I offer him humble acceptance of his loving correction and the reassurance of his discipline...even when it's difficult, even when I struggle...then I offer him the triumph of my stillness.




                                        


















I offer him my pleasure, for surely he is it's source.

        

I offer him my hand, with which to lead me.

                 

I offer him  my unfaltering step in following him.

                       

I offer him my shoulder when his burdens become heavy.

                  

I offer him my heart, bursting with love - the eternal spring he brings to our lives.

                                

I offer him my soul, the essence of who I am, because only with him am I who I was meant to be.

I offer him, my very life, trusting that I am safe in his hands. 

                                                     

I offer him my gratitude for his acceptance of these very humblest of gifts, the only things I have to offer....he accepts them with fervor, with reverence, with joy... these simple, homely things - he looks upon as though their value knew no bounds.

                                                 



What would I give him?

Simpler to ask what I would withhold.....nothing. I am his.

                                                     

...and it does, my love

HIS POV:    

I am truly humbled by June's offering of deepest love.  The desire to fill my world with light and to become that world as surely and deeply as the waters of the ocean.. this is what my wildest dreams are made of. To traipse along the outskirts of heaven and to dance along the cosmos in true unity it puts tears of love and joy in this man's eyes.