The Value of Good Girl Spankings (An HoH's Perspective)

                                                                                                                

                                                            

 June has done several posts on the pleasurable  and connective experience that a good girl spanking can bring to a DD/TTWD relationship. I think it's high time that I weighed in on this and several other subjects.  A good girl spanking  is a spanking that is designed to bring a couple closer through the use of pleasure, touch, intimacy, and good old-fashioned dominance and submission to bring said couple to a state of pleasure, unity, and release. This reaffirms the bond  and clearly defines roles.  and oh yeah.... it's fun!

I also believe that for the newly initiated  HoH  these spankings can provide a wonderful and pressure-free opportunity to explore, embrace and enhance their new found roll in a "safe"  stress-less, and delightfully sensual way.

                                             

                                       

One of the beautiful things about what June and I share is our shared delight in many pleasurable things.  A good foot-rub, a long soak in the tub (sadly, I'm really too tall for this one, too long) and of course spending  much quality "us time" behind  closed bedroom doors as we can.  This perhaps seems obvious, but let us see if we can take a look at some of the valuable things that an evening of fun-centric spanking has.
                                       

                                                        

Time - Time is gold, there is never enough of it. From dawn until dusk many of us have hyper-busy, super packed schedules that make us feel like a hot shower is a luxury.  You've all heard me extol the virtues of making time for the ones we love. I'll go one step further and say that sometimes sacrificing what little 'you time' you have in favor of time spent improving your relationship can be seen as a precious gift.  I'm known and renowned amongst my guy friends, for passing up that beer after work in favor of precious time spent with June. Time is the one thing that we will never really have enough of, and the gift of time in favor of your love and relationship over other pursuits is always precious.

                                                     

Discipline - Gasp! somebody said the dreaded d-word!  Discipline and correction are two different things, and in fact even in the most exquisite, alluring, toe-curling instances of soft and pleasure-focused spanking, roles can be affirmed, lessons can be learned and the chance to both give and receive physical expressions of love, dominance and submission  is truly wonderful.

                                                                                             

                                                                                           

 

Pleasure - It goes without saying that a good girl spanking should be a pleasurable experience. Soft touches, the warm embrace of skin against skin, the warmth of leather, the sternness of sensation can all lead to a warm and pleasurable cocktail of unified delight, stress relief and generous love-making.

  

                                                      

 

A New Strength - Finding the delight in each other, being thankful for what we have and where we are now  and guarding our relationships against the dents and dings that everyday life throws at us is a wonderful strength that we have found. Stress, disagreements, bills, kids,  work, schedule-conflicts can all lead to distraction, misdirection, hurt-feelings, angry words, fighting and the other kind of spanking.... GG's are better folks, and finding that strength, that strength to say yes when we don't really understand, that strength that says I love you instead of "I'm right" that strength begins with closeness and togetherness, two things that GG type spankings provide and are conducive to.

                                                                                             

These things and many more lay waiting just beyond the thoughts of our partners, take time, make time to listen, make time to talk. Express your love, your submission or  your dominance.   Improving our relationships is often as simple as communicating and you know the beautiful thing  about communication is that sometimes the strongest messages are best sent without words.

                                            

                                                      

                           

Her POV: 

Daddy speaks of time, and I will tell you that he is a man of his word, that he walks the talk, he is not empty rhetoric. He proves his philosophy, his personal credo time after time, day after day. The first time it happened, I was astounded. I sat beside him and blinked. Daddy is an absolute football fanatic. There was a game on that he wanted to see. Something happened...now, I can't tell you what was going on, I can't remember what was said, but this I remember...I stuffed something down, because I knew he had waited to see that game, and it could wait really. And he saw it, felt it. He picked up the remote, turned off that TV, and took my hand, pulled me down next to him. I said, "It's okay, Daddy, it can wait. You've been waiting for the game." He kissed me, kissed my hand and said, "It's not more important than you, lovey."

That's the building we can do, simple little acts. No, I can't remember what precipitated the moment, that's not really important, the bigger matter was that my man communicated in a clear, concrete way that I mean something to him, that my concerns are important, and what I think and feel matters. It is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. And yeah, he got plenty lucky after....REALLY lucky ;-P

Discipline - should discipline make it's way into a gg, spanking? Well, that's part of our dynamic, and when we reinforce the foundations of our lives, we make them stronger, and easier to live...second nature. Daddy can get quite vigorous with the application of the brush in a gg...yes it hurts. But this is what I give to him, my submission to his authority, my acknowledgement that he is free to give me what he chooses to give me....[luckily for me, he chooses to give me his best]. It's not so much a reminder of what can happen if I break our rules, if I am not my best self, it is both of us acknowledging our places and that all things, my pleasure and my pain, belong to him, and his acceptance of them. It is the acknowledgement that I can trust him to uphold us, and to never harm me.

Pleasure, well as we stated above, my pleasure comes from him, his comes from me, and it belongs to us. It is not merely a physical pleasure, it goes far beyond that...it is spiritual, it is all encompassing, it is pleasure in existence within each other....without that the physical would be nothing more than an entertaining little rut.

Yes, all of these things make us stronger, make us turn to each other, helps us focus on each other, and our relationship and our family. It makes it silly to have to argue a point, and easy to say - I understand love, I see it differently - and validate each other without minimizing either of us. And because we know that we are heard, and our views and feelings are important, and that transitory troubles cannot break the strong love in which we live.
                                  

The Spanking Game

Old-Fashioned Marriage made a post about distancing and made an interesting proposition. He proposed that the wife be spanked as a consequence for the husband distancing, under the understanding that he bears the responsibility for all that goes on in the relationship (true), and since he cannot be held accountable, punishing his wife for his transgression would act to correct his behavior.

Ward and I do something kind of like that, but the thought behind it is a little different. I do not assume punishment for him. But when I sense that he is stressed, perhaps a little distant, I will bring him the hairbrush (his weapon errrrrr implement of choice), say "Go ahead, Daddy, you'll feel better", and drape my panty-covered bottom over his lap. And he always does feel better. And I feel good that I can offer that to him.

One time, on a particularly evil, not good, very bad day, (after a duty day prior to the last deployment) I wanted to pull him back to his happier self, and remind him that life was not always going to be this hard. So I thought and thought and thought, and this is what I did.

I laid a cool drink on the table where he would sit, as well as some sliced fruit and cheese and crackers. When he came in, I kissed him and slid his coat off his arms, loosened and removed his tie, sat him in his chair. After removing his boots and socks I gave him a relaxing foot massage and listened to his sighs as I explained what he saw on the table and floor.



I had laid out some pillows on the floor in front of the table. On the table were 6 bowls with slips of paper. One was labeled Action. It contained slips of paper with the words, lick, suck, spank, etc.Another labeled Substance with words like honey, chocolate, whipped cream, etc. Another was labeled body part. Another labeled Implement, which needs no explanation, lol. One was labeled position. And the last labeled Duration. 



 
Also on the table were 2 trays:

The game went: you chose a slip from the action bowl. If you received an impact word, you chose additional slips from the implement, position and duration bowls. If you chose a lick/suck/kiss word, you chose a slip from the substance, body part and duration bowls. Obviously, if it was an impact word, my bottom was the bottom being impacted regardless of who drew the slip, lol. And if you chose a 'mouth' word or massage/caress word you performed the action on the other partner.

Needless to say, by the time we were done playing,  communication was flowing easily, there was no distancing and no holding back, and I had one very deliriously relaxed, totally de-stressed Daddy....and we put the dinner on 'warm'.


HIS POV:  June knows my heart so well.  She takes such expert care of me that it makes me want to compose poetry to her name and glory.  As the head of our home I have to recognize that I need to be accountable to our standard and being a stressed out mess does not help.  We are  very blessed to count ourselves good communicators and I am very very fortunate to have her as my lady. This game was a blast and it's a wonderful way to pass a fall day, even when everything is going great!

Things Ward does that turn June to girl goo

Hmmmm, Ward requested last night that I make another post, and having had a rough week with school, I was feeling particularly uninspired. What to write, what to write? Hmmm.... I shall tell you about the things my Ward does which turn me into a great big, steaming pile of girl goo - get a bucket and shovel...

1. When he has had a really terrible, evil, very bad day at work, and he comes home reeking of the world and speaking to me in his world voice, he is exceptionally.......virile, and he will ......growl ...... sigh... would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? HELL YES!
2. When he claims what well and rightly belongs to him
3. Kisses me right in the spot where my neck meets my shoulders (excuse my Pavlovian response)
4. Says 'MINE'
5. Says 'MINE' with the growl (scoop me up, ladies)
6. Calls me little one
7. Calls me My girl
8. Calls me young lady
9. Calls me his dove
10. Says he is well pleased (shivers)
11. Runs his fingers through my hair (instant brain tickles)
12. Gently takes a fist full of hair (and more brain tickles)
13. Whispers in my ear, when we are out, what is in store for me at home
14. Comes up behind me (he can be very quiet....he is after all hunting rabbits) and wraps his arms around me, when I'm cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, or otherwise occupied (was there housework?)
15. When he's in the wolfie mood, sometimes he comes up really close & whisper/growls, "Run, rabbit, run" (who can run on rubberband legs?)
16. When he pats his lap and says softly, "Come on, little one."
17. When he starts an impromptu massage
18. When he holds my hands above my head (I'm hyperventilating here)  
19. When he pushes me up against the wall and kisses me (good thing he's strong, cause I lose my legs)
20. When he kisses the pout off my lips and leaves me slack-jawed

*Wipes corner of mouth decorously, straightens skirt* I ummmmm.......I'm sure there is more, but now I am just a wee bit twitterpated........Oh, Daddy!