The positive effects of a good spanking

Have you ever sat and considered the impact of a evening devoted to a good, thorough spanking and  earth-shaking love-making and pleasure?  Normally this is something that we probably wouldn't talk about here, but the potential benefits are worth discussing and using.  Throughout the time that June and I have written this blog, we have come to understand that several folks out there are... what's the term?  "spank-nos".  Even still, when we consider the impact that stress can have, we must understand the value that a good firm spanking can bring to the table.  I tell June all the time and I think it's worth repeating here.... Good girls get firm spankings too, it helps them stay good, and in combination to deep, truly connective  intimacy that  smooths away the aches and stresses of the day and bring us to that special place that can only be reached by a man being intimate with his woman.  Stress relief spanking require a lot of forethought and communication. It should be made clear that this is not correction or punishment, but in fact a conduit for relief and rebalance through the vigorous application of positive and direct energies.  It also becomes necessary to find (or make) time to get the most out of this carefully considered time.




 Making love is clearly an important part of any healthy relationship. I think some people don't realize it's true value and in some instances, might minimize or underrate the worth of spending quality time giving and receiving pleasure from our partners.  There is something very spiritual about making love, in addition to the sights and sounds that make our blood boil and our passions rise, it seems only fitting that sex can open many doors, heal many wounds, smooth over feelings and reconnect after periods of heightened stress and emotion.  The true value of physical release is in the freedom it brings, us.  Less talking, less thinking, passion and unconditional embrace - these things are always important.



The following section is just a series of suggestions.  We'd highly recommend trying one or more of these out!




 If you don't already June and I would highly recommend establishing a "Date Night".   Find a sitter, have the kids spend the night with Grandma etc... Go see a movie, go watch dinner, Redbox it, go bowling, spend some time laughing, and celebrating the unique bond that you share.  Spend some time giving her a bubble bath or a pedicure and really spend some time pampering her... Relaxation is the key here.









Before you give her the spanking she needs, spend some time spoiling her, talk to her, let her know that she has your complete and undivided attention. When the time comes, take her in hand and give her the spanking she needs. By the spanking that she needs, I mean take the time to observe her, know her body language and the weight of her heart... Drive out the stress and take the time to show her that this is as important to you as it is for her.  No distractions, no half-hearts only pure and unblemished love.  Hold her close, let her emote, and let the stress vanish with the conviction of your hearts.

Give her the time she needs to  feel it, hold her in your arms and be there for her. Leave only room for love and light..... Kiss her slow and soft, and then let your love for each other and your bodies do all of the talking.







We think spanking can be a very useful and wonderful part of a healthy relationship. Even in the context of pleasure and stress relief we find new meaning and a wonderful use of time and passion. We recommend it!



                                            

Her POV:
When I suffer stress, or when I suffer emotional pain, I need to be spanked. It is a way - for me - to take the emotional pain and transfer it to flesh - and poof - all gone. A calm relaxed girl who can move through the day without the heaviness in my heart, not feeling guilt if I feel I have been short or less than I wish to be, or my heart is just not where I like it to be. At those times the greatest gift he can give me is the gift of release.

I am a very fortunate girl. Daddy is very sensitive to my mood. And generally he will approach me and whisper in my ear that he knows what I need, and that he will take good care of me...and he always does. Other times I may text or email him at work, and tell him I need his help when he gets home. And sometimes, it's simply a way for us to reconnect after a long week of chores and responsibilities, school - his, mine, the boys'  - for me to feel his delicious control, and for me to be able to bend. That for me is heaven, that puts my brain in that light, dreamy place. It lets me relinquish the negativity that seeps in, and absorb Daddy's love and light. It lets us start fresh and rejuvenated. And it lets this insomniac sleep sweet and undisturbed. For that gift, for his attention and devotion, I am grateful.

Dominance and Submission Exercises

                                                      

Submission is a valuable and wonderful gift that must be nurtured, developed, maintained and recognized every day to obtain the most worth.  Understanding the lady of the house, what she values and what makes her feel connected and valued most is invaluable to receiving and maintaining her submission.  It could be as simple as a request. It could be as complicated as regular maintenance spankings that are designed and centered around what makes her feel submissive.  The impact that freely given and well maintained submission can bring to a DD/TTWD relationship is substantial, and speaking as a HoH, extremely rewarding.  June and I spend a portion of every day connecting to our  (My dominant, her submissive) sides and nurturing it in ways that provide an immediate and obvious benefit.  "Sweety can you bring me a glass of water?"  "Here let me do that, you go and sit down, rest for a while"   These things are simple, cost nothing and keep the focus on the relationship and the people in it.

                                                    

I recommend finding or making a time in your evening routine to connect.  Spend some time talking, and working on your dominant and submissive roles. Sometimes this might mean working hard to find the grace necessary to submit with a gentle and grateful heart despite the first thoughts and comments that may pop into one's head. It is also important that a HoH recognize and praise the effort. It isn't always easy to submit. Pain, exposure, and being outside one's comfort zone can makes submission a challenge. Improving communication is the goal here.  I'd also like to emphasize the importance of the individuality that belongs to each couple and the suggestions that June and I offer here can be easily reworked to fit your needs.

                                                 


Here are a couple of  dominance and submission exercises.

- Spanking - Well you knew this one was going to be here. Ladies, this is the time to show him that you can gracefully accept and yield to being under his hand. Take a hot bath, have a cup of warm tea, unwind or read for a little while before approaching him. Find something that stings... something that might not be your favorite, or something you don't enjoy. Bring it to him and place yourself right over his lap. Have him spank you a slow to moderate pace and let yourself feel it, embrace the heat and find your grace and submission.

I realize that this can be difficult to do, but that's why we do it. Building grace and accepting dominance when it is difficult is a hallmark of a strong  submissive.

                                                     

For the dominant partner, I recommend giving her praise and grace. It is important for you to let her know that this is in fact, a exercise in submission and that you very much appreciate it's difficulty.

                                                     

For HoH's - Take the lead, take  over when she needs you to.  Walk up behind her, whisper your appreciation in her ear and finish dinner or the dishes,  speaking of dinner, if you both need to decompress, turn dinner down on low, and go to your room and spend some time giving her your full attention and awareness.

                                                        

-Romance - It might sound odd, but a healthy well groomed sense of romance is a very good way to remind ourselves of our place in the relationship.  Write each other letters (pen and paper guys),  take her kisses  and give her the strength and warmth of your body.  We recommend the use of blindfolds, scented candles, molten wax, soft music, restraints  (I know, I know, I sound like a freak, but try it, it works...I promise). Make love like a man and a woman and do so with an unselfish hungry fashion... It will be a delicious experience.


                                               




Finding and nurturing submission leads to ease of communication, increased intimacy, a full and intimate understanding of each other and each other's dreams, ideas, fantasies, wishes and how best to fulfill them. We would encourage you to find and use what works for you to deepen your relationship roles, and greater contribute to the strength of your relationship!




                                            

Her POV:

We've said it before, and I will say it again - TTWD is not one-size-fits-all. You may already have an idea of the things that turn you into girl goo. And there may be others that you learn as you grow together as a couple. Don't be afraid to tell him when something makes you go weak in the knees, or gives you those delicious brain tickles..."I liked when you did ..." All I have to tell Ward is...mmm, that gave me brain tickles, Daddy. Generally, though, he is more than well aware of the effect he has on me by my reaction, and he is not afraid to capitalize on that.

Observe your partner, watch for what makes her softer and turn into you...watch what makes his eyes burn a little brighter, his verbal and physical response become clearer, surer, more confident...sometimes even take on that delicious dark little edge. Show your mindfulness, when you know he has had a hard day, slide behind him on the sofa, massage his neck and shoulders as he reads or watches TV (chances are he won't be doing either for very long), sit at his feet, remove his shoes and socks and massage his weary feet and legs.

We had a conversation after a very seemingly ordinary moment that cranked my gears...I could feel it wash over me, and I could feel myself bending to him. When I told him, he smiled and said that he knew because he could feel my voice turn inward and could see my submission surge in my eyes, in my manner, he could feel me bend. It is pleasurable to serve him.

One thing that I do is try to always be mindful that the things I do for him are a service in my submission... be it that glass of water, or stopping whatever it is I was doing to give him my attention... everything that I do, every look that I give, every response that I utter is an opportunity to express my submission to his leadership.

When it's a Struggle

                                                   


 I'd like to start off by wishing you and your family a happy and healthy New Year.  With the bulk of the holiday season in the rear view mirror,  it's a good time to relax, and review some of the things we loved, and some of the things that caused the most stress during the holiday season and take stock of just where we stand in our relationships.



                                                   

  Do you ever struggle with TTWD/DD? I know I do. It may sound kind of odd to hear that coming from a HoH, but it's true. I try to handle things with the grace, consideration and kindness that is paramount to the position of Head of the House.  That is something that I haven't always gone into here, but believe me when say that, these things are of the utmost importance to me as a Husband, father, and leader.  It is important that I give June's feelings, thoughts, and ideas the consideration that they warrant, I also try to do what I can to take some of the day to day stress from her shoulders so that she can be at her best both at home and when we are away. Is any of this easy?  No, not always but it is worth doing.

One of my own biggest personal barriers to this is stress and fatigue. The holidays were truly wondrous, a beautiful time of giving and sharing, spirituality, family amidst a backdrop of the first truly white Christmas this man has seen in a long time. This was especially special for me as the holiday season  has traditionally been very difficult time for me.  June has helped me with this in innumerable ways, but prior to her and the boys, I would kind of hole up in my proverbial "crystal fortress" and stay there until well after the New Year. The holidays were indeed great, but after looking around it seems that I am definitely not alone in struggling with this time of year.

           

                                            

The struggle is why communication is of even more importance. TTWD/DD is a lifestyle that encourages communication and honesty and it is these roots that we must cling to when life becomes difficult. Indeed when stress threatened during the chaotic uproar of the holidays, I took June's hand and led her upstairs and just held her for a few min. Nothing fancy, just reassurance, connection and a chance to exchange words from the heart.  I fully recognize that it can be very difficult to find time to connect, but trust me when I tell you that if you find a way or make a way to do so, it will be time well spent.

When we struggle with this lifestyle, when simple thoughts sound different, when obedience is hard, when we are just tired, when we just want to retreat for a few min of quiet, when the kids become too loud, when we want to put up walls... We have to stop it before it even starts. Distance and confusion can only cause problems in the long-term, that's why it is far better to open up and talk before a tiny crack becomes a Grand Canyon. 

                                       

When we struggle, we have found that somtimes the best thing to do is to ask for help.  Putting the chores down, setting the soup to simmer, letting the kids figure it out for themsevles for a second and just getting to the heart of our problems, and doing what is best for the relationship.  Sometimes this means giving each other a little space and time to think and process. Sometimes it means my understanding that I didn't make the right choice and being cognizant of this and owning my mistakes.  Sometimes it means putting my pride aside and saying that I was wrong, somtimes it means apologizing and endeavoring to do what it takes to get where we need to be. Sometimes I have to be aware of when she needs me to take control and give her body and mind the release that they need.  Somtimes even when she hasn't broken a rule a good spanking can knock down walls and bring us closer and renew our dedication to what we have talked about and agreed upon. She knows the doors and my arms are always open... in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day. Even when it isn't easy it is what is real and right.

                                                               



When we struggle we are reminded of the need for true vigilance and dedication to each other and our values and the importance of giving and sacrifice even when it is not easy or convenient (which is extremely rare)  An HoH should be humble, wise, observant, kind-hearted, and a good listener. An Hoh's lady should be obedient, open, honest, and caring. Both should be diligent, truthful, dedicated, and have hearts that long for a deep and solid connection that can withstand the stress that life so often brings. I can guarantee that along with death and taxes, the New Year will bring stress and fatigue.  Will I be what June deserves? No, not always, but I will make every effort to give her the attention, time, and love that she needs to thrive.  We would encourage you all to find a way or make a way to work in a little bit of time just for yourselves when things get hard.  If you do nothing but tell each other how you really feel and work on getting where you both need to be it will be time will spent!  

                                                                          

Happy New Year!

                                                             

Her POV:

 Hmm, this was a good one, Daddy :) In the last post, I said that sometimes I need to take that sullenness and hold it back for the moment it takes to realize that what he does he does for our betterment. You know, that goes here, too. I have two jobs, am a full-time student and we have two special needs children. So sometimes taking that spoon out of my hand and turning down the soup is almost an act of war, lol. But When I stop and take a breath, and see myself spinning, and let myself feel what comes through his touch, yes, he is giving me the gift of release of urgency, the gift of dinner-can-be-10-minutes-later-take-a-breath-and feel-US. 

Sometimes I think people think that it is easy for us. But I think it's important to know that we work hard at this...every single day....because it is the most important thing we will ever do, for ourselves, and for our children. No, I am not the happy, glowy little Stepford Wife, I'm the girl with the inside of her cheek chewed up from biting back my knee-jerk reaction, from fighting the eye-roll till I can feel his motivation, and I can feel his desire for harmony, and I can pull mine out past my hurry-up. Is it worth it? Every single time.

Do I need him to take control sometimes? Absolutely...he's the big picture man. Do I need the super-hard-stingy-but-not-naughty-girl-spankings sometimes? Absolutely. They do break down the walls that come with day to day junk. Does he deserve me? Absolutely not....he deserves so much better. But he loves me, and I love him with my entire being. 

Happy New Year to all of you. Remember to stop, and take time for what is really important - each other.

Spanking and humiliation

I see a lot on a lot of different blogs about feelings of humiliation from being spanked. The only ones who have said they don't feel humiliated were Kitty and Conina and faerie (thank you, Conina:) ). I wonder how much of that has to do with their particular dynamics, which are more on the kinky side, than the DD side, and in fact they don't have a discipline dynamic.

Daddy and I do have discipline as part of our dynamic. As I said in a previous post, we're a little bit of this and a little bit of that. We are spankos, through and through. We enjoy spanking for fun. But we also use it for discipline (stress relief, role reinforcement, testing submission). And when necessary, yes, for correction.

Let's talk about what humiliation is. By definition: hu·mil·i·ate (hy -m l - t ). tr.v.  To lower the pride, dignity, or self-respect of. Daddy and I do not enjoy humiliation/objectification in any form. It is not Daddy's aim to undermine my self-image, or my concept of my place in our relationship. I am his. He supports me, guides me, holds me in his hands, elevates me and teaches me to love myself.





With spanking for play. it's all about the good pain. It's all about that intoxicating feeling of control, of being in the palm of his hand, of being breathless and floaty and exquisitely happy. It is a feeling of complete and utter joy.






When it's for discipline, all of those same things, and add the emotional release that comes from complete and total surrender, from putting my needs in his hands and knowing that he will make everything alright. It is about him taking those feelings of inadequacy and fear and stripping them away, leaving me raw, and planting the seeds...I am his. He loves me. It is a feeling of release, relief, and renewal.





When it is for correction, I guess that is where it could well be humiliating. I guess this is the part of our dynamic that is closest to the DD dynamic. I have seen it written that it is humiliating to feel like a child. But he is my Dominant, my leader, my Daddy. it is his right - his duty really - to enforce the rules of our partnership. I have surrendered this to him, and in so doing I acknowledge his right. I am not going to say that it is not humbling, it is, but not humiliating. Perhaps this is the way that Ward handles correction.

We talk about nothing, just feel our connection. I get to see that no matter what I may have done, he still loves me. Then we discuss what went wrong and how we are going to go about clearing the air and restoring equilibrium. He doesn't denigrate me. He tells me that I'm still his good girl, just my actions were bad, but we're taking care of it. He tells me he is proud of me for accepting the correction. When it's over, it's over. We move past it, with a clean slate. He is extra nurturing. It is transformative in a positive way. I am never diminished. It is a feeling of releasing guilt, absolution, cleansing.

In all parts of our dynamic spanking is a feeling of deep connection and trust, it is a reaffirmation of our commitment each to the other. In all parts of our dynamic, I am honored to be his, and pleased that he leads and allows me to express my submission to him in the many forms that our flavor allows. I'm one lucky girl.

HIS POV:

I am truley and magnificently blessed to call  Ms. June my own, and I would echo much of what she has said.  I try to be a uplifting influence in her life and I would never...ever try to reduce her or humiliate her... June is my greatest blessing in life and to see  her shine brightest I would use my life and energies to see her elevated to happiness and true satisfaction.  Through Love, Discipline, and erotic intrigue, humiliation has no place for us, dedication, patience, love, and kindness are what we delight in!

"Exactly my brand of heroin" (or reflections on finding my Edward)

Yes, yes, I am an unashamed, unabashed Twilight fan. It is the intensity of the love that Edward has for Bella that does it, all the pretty words. When Twilight first came out, I used to say, oh, Lord, I wish someone would love me like THAT. I want someone that possesses my mind like THAT. (As you can see from our last post - I found my heart, my dream).



The effect that Bella and Edward have is reciprocal, each affects the other. Bella finds Edward's eyes hypnotic, and knows without a doubt that she'd have followed him, even to her doom, at their first meeting. Edward compares Bella's appeal to that of 100-year-aged cognac to an alcoholic. The images used to market the movie, they have a strong appeal to me. It is not just the image of a man embracing a woman, there is an aura in that image, a force that emanates from Edward, and wraps itself passionately and protectively around Bella.



Ward is possessing of this force. Ward intoxicates me. I can FEEL him enter a room. When he touches me, when he speaks to me, the response is intensely visceral. Emotion, desire to touch and be touched, to be possessed, to please, wash over me. I get this sensation in my mind, that I have named 'brain tickle'. I don't know how else to describe it. It is intensely pleasant. It washes from my brain down my arms, my hands, my legs, it makes me feel as though I am swimming through mud - movement is too much effort. I have never experienced this state of being with another person - ever. It is something that I enjoy - crave. It makes him exactly my brand of heroin.

Which brings to mind another one of 'those' words - mind control. This term is a very subjective term, I am sure. For some, it has a very negative connotation. For me, it what I describe above - the ability to get so far inside my head that he can with a touch, with a word, with the mere sound of his voice, have my body respond to him. He plays me like a cellist in a symphony orchestra, each small movement, each small effort, thrums through my mind and body like the strings resonate with the emotion of the musician.



My desire to be played this exquisitely, to have everything that I do be pleasing to him, puts me squarely within his control. And that is the sweetest place that I have ever inhabited. That is home, for the first time in my long life.

"It’s an extraordinary thing to meet someone who you can bare your soul to and accept you for what you are. I’ve been waiting, for what seems like a very long time, to get beyond what I am." With Ward I feel like I can finally begin. So I’d like to propose a toast to my wonderful Daddy. My darling, "no measure of time with you will ever be enough, but let's start with forever."

HIS POV:

June does me great honor and it moves my heart to know that I have the kind of effect on her that I do.  I would also be remiss if I didn't tell you all how I feel about her... When I hear her voice at the end of the day, it's almost like listening to the celestial chorus... like beautiful songbirds and watching the sun rise at the same time...   She knows how to light my fire, boil my blood, and bring me to my utmost in the sweetest most lyrical way.. My June is quite a lady!  I love the way we move each other!

The Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

Those of you familiar with FetLife know that you can view the feeds/activities of your friends, just like Facebook. I came upon an extraordinary piece of writing today, written by my friend, PhyrrImp. This is a well-balanced piece regarding the dynamics of a healthy power exchange relationship. I wanted to share, because regardless of  whether you consider yourself a DD couple, D/lg, D/s or M/s, this is an excellent measure of what you should require of your partner and of yourself. I thank PhyrrImp for her permission to share this. And I hope others find this as helpful and informational as I did.

************************** 

 

The Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

 The Dom

The Protector
The Disciplinarian
The Guide
The Nurturer
The Safe Place
The Dom may critique but never criticizes. To critique is to make better. To criticize is to tear down.
The Dom reaches for perfection but practices unconditional acceptance for himself as much as for his sub.
The Dom understands that trust is the most important aspect of a relationship and does everything to protect and nurture that.
The Dom always acts in the highest good of both. If a decision must be made between the Dom or the sub, the highest good of the sub is paramount.
The Dom may endeavor to break a habit but never to break a spirit.
The Dom cherishes the sub above all else as the most prized possession.
The Dom takes ultimate control, in a situation that has gotten out of control, to protect a sub.
The Dom provides discipline as outlined initially or updated in the definition of the relationship agreed upon by both.
The Dom provides aftercare - without exception - after intense play or discipline.
The Dom guides his sub in areas, where necessary, with the goal of improving the sub in areas initially agreed upon by both.
The Dom nurtures when a sub needs it.
The Dom is the sub’s safe place, the place the sub calls “home.” It is a place where unconditional acceptance and compassion are guaranteed.
The Dom honors the power of the submission with which they have been entrusted.

The sub

The Protected
The Disciplined
The Guided
The Nurtured
The Safe Place
The sub differentiates between critique and criticism, responding positively to critiques by the Dom.
The sub strives for perfection but practices unconditional acceptance when evaluating her performance.
The sub gives her trust responsibly and earns the Dom’s trust as well, understanding that it is the most important aspect of a relationship.
The sub knows the Dom always acts in the highest good of both. The sub must always communicate her needs in a clear and respectful manner so that the Dom has the important information necessary to maintain His responsibility.
The sub may never endeavor to diminish her quality with self-depreciation.
The sub values herself as a most prized possession, prioritizing her health and well-being.
The sub yields control to her Dom without hesitation in situations that have gotten out of control.
The sub understands discipline as an integral part of the power exchange, designed to assist her in achieving the goals initially outlined in the confines of the relationship.
The sub understands aftercare as a vital part of the play and discipline process and gives herself openly to it.
The sub is charged with using good judgment in self-governance with the goal of improving in areas initially agreed upon by both.
The sub asks for, and accepts, nurturing provided by the Dom. She also maintains a self-care routine mutually agreed upon. This self-care routine may include, but is not limited to manicures, pedicures, meditation, time with friends or exercise.
The sub is the Dom’s safe place, the place the Dom calls “home.” Its a place where unconditional acceptance and compassion are guaranteed.
The sub reverently gives her power of submission. If at any time she feels that her submission is not being treated reverently by her Dom she must seriously consider rescinding it.

The Relationship

A good D/s relationship has all the characteristics of a good vanilla relationship. The relationship must meet the needs of both participants, serving to enhance life and never causing misery.
Once you have found someone with whom you are building a power exchange relationship, communication is the key. Discovering who each other is, how you have become that person, where you have traveled from and where you see yourself going are all things pertinent to building this relationship. Communication should be easy - without concern and without trying to be something you are not. Honesty is paramount. There’s no point in pretending to be someone other than who you are. Eventually the truth will come to light and the relationship will fall apart. It is better to be just who you are from the start. Sharing your dreams, goals and aspirations are as necessary in a power exchange relationship as in any relationship.
Establishing the outline of your relationship will be next. Your relationship will have a higher chance of success if you discuss your needs and wants at the beginning. Going into a relationship with unexpressed expectations is a fatal error. Speak honestly about what you expect from a partner. What gives you pleasure? How do you know you are loved? What are you looking for from a power exchange relationship? What do you picture the relationship will look like? What are your hard and soft limits? Safe words? Then listen openly to their expectations as well. Communication is always a two way street.
Once you spend time getting to know each other and discussing the relationship you can relax into the dynamics of the relationship. See how things flow between you. Reevaluate and assess how things are going. Are your needs being met? Does the energy flow between you seem to be easy and reciprocal? Are you giving as much as you are receiving? Even though this is a D/s relationship, the needs and input of a sub are as important to the success as the Dom’s. If there is disappointment then determine if you can redefine some things. It may even be necessary to end the relationship.
If you decide to continue the relationship, under the same parameters or renegotiated ones, the relationship should proceed to develop smoothly. Periodic reevaluation is crucial to ensure that both parties’ needs are met as the relationship develops. Neither party should remain in a relationship that does not serve their highest good.

Written by PhyrrImp and edited by SapientSexual

The gift of dominance

Kitty and I just had this discussion - we chroniclers of life see things and they tick in our brain, and get our thoughts flowing. And that makes it seem like things run in cycles in blogland. Riley recently wrote a post called Dominance is a Gift, too, too (Thanks, Conina!), which got me thinking. We often hear submission is a gift, and indeed it is. But so is Dominance. I luxuriate in his control.It's not one sided. Both give, both receive. It is reciprocity, I talk about it in Honor, and lil talks about it in her beautiful post on Expressions of Dominance.

In any event, I was having a discussion with a DD friend today. And this exchange occurred:
Friend: Awww. Just as I suspected.Your entire emotional well-being and sense of self derive from him?
Me:  my happiness, not my complete well-being  - my sense of self is confirmed in him, he accepts my whole self
Friend: He is truly your soul then.
Me: he is, I cannot be who I am without his acceptance 
Friend: Did you live before him? Or was it like God breathing life into Adam?
Me: I existed before him. Yes, absolutely, he animated me

So the two events conspired to create this post. Yes, I could not be who I am without his accepting my submission. And perhaps my expression of submission allows him to express his dominance in more complete ways. Either way...he has often thanks me for the gift of my submission, and I do not believe that I have thanked him for his gift of dominance.



So to my well-loved Daddy I say...



I have thanked you for loving me, and I always will, every second of every day, for the rest of our lives and beyond. No one – NO ONE – has ever loved me in the way that you do. No one has ever loved me unconditionally. There have been ‘I love you….but’s ...always a reason I was unworthy of being completely loved. It’s not that I don’t trust you, I trust you with my life. I am just so not used to NOT hearing the but. I keep waiting; it never comes. That astounds me. And it takes a little while to stop waiting, but I’m working on it. 

I have not thanked you for your gift of Dominance, for that sure, safe feeling, for that refuge in your arms that comes from your strength, from the sheer force of your presence. Without that gift, I would not be free to express my submission. I would not be free to be who I am at my very core. I blossom, I feel my leaves unfurl in my heart and burst forth with a vibrancy I never thought I would experience. 



I thrive under your hand and with your love, your guidance, and your discipline. I am filled with your strength, your warmth, your nurturing and your light – my goodness – you are a brilliant soul. I am grateful. I am joyous. I am proud to be called yours. 

Thank you for your gift to me, which allows me to express my true self, and to thrive and grow. Thank you for accepting who I am and what I have to offer.