Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Opinions and the sinking of blogland?


Daddy and I have been kind of cocooned away in our little home. He's on leave, pending being away during the week, and only home on the weekend. So we've been soaking up all the 'us' we can. 

A friend asked Monday if I had seen the uproar in blogland, and I had not. She directed me to the article in the Daily Beast. It was hopelessly slanted, but you kind of knew it would be. The Daily Beast, while it had a credible start, is after all a reporting and opinion website founded and published by Tina Brown, former editor of Vanity Fair and The New Yorker, it is after all a news and opinion website. 

What does that mean? It means it presents credible news items, but it is not subject to the ethics of print journalism. It is an OP-ED news source, which is a source which presents newspaper articles that expresses the opinions of a named writer who is usually unaffiliated with the newspaper's editorial board.It is akin to paparazzi journalism... people sneaking around, digging through trash, twisting facts into fantastically contrived pretzel shapes which support their personal opinions.

Today I followed a link or two and see that some blogs have gone private, and I wonder why? Are you ashamed of the life you live? I am not ashamed of the life I live with Ward. It is genuine. It is real. We share a closeness for which the bearers of the opinions expressed in this particular piece have envy. It is simply my personal opinion that hiding, pulling up our shutters is giving this kind of vile black journalism more power than it deserves. 

Pulling our shutters tight makes it seem like we have something to hide, like we are ashamed of our lifestyle. I am not ashamed of our lifestyle. I am not ashamed of the fact that I am submissive to my husband. I am not ashamed of the fact that he leads our home honorable and well. I am not ashamed of the fact that I have given him the right of authority over our family, our children and me. I am proud of who we are and what we stand for, traditional marriage, traditional male-led relationships, a strong and centered family.



It would seem that we are all feeling the impact of the recent "junk journalism" event.  I would like to be very clear when I say that I support not only the affected and named parties of this vicious, unfounded, and clearly slanted attack, but I also support the entire blogland network.  I understand that there are many ways of looking at this, and perhaps some folks will take exception to what I say or the words I use, but I feel that a clear, honest voice must be used.

Shutting the doors, or taking the ball and going home only lets the attackers win.  Yes, I said it, but - and now it's out, but that's how I feel. Standing together in support and going on with our lives in a honest and natural way not only grants each and every couple and person in blogland support, but we send a message... We don't hide, we aren't afraid to be ourselves and we don't bow to cowardice.

To the writers of these and other examples of slanted,  garbage-journalism... I hope you understand something beyond the damage that you have caused. Your  flagrant disregard for other people's lifestyles tells us everything we need to know about you. Ignorance is a contagious disease that  spreads like wildfire. I doubt you are the kind of person that can look past the surface and understand the deeper meaning of what true, unconditional love and true sacrifice mean and harbor.  You disgust me for not only your actions, but also your cowardly, limited intellect and your fearful, low, cowardly attacks on good people.  That said I forgive you... I want to be the first to tell you that.  It may not be what you expect but there it is.  I am past it, it's over and done, and perhaps people can grow past this and be something more. I don't expect you to understand or care, but as a Christian man with a backbone, I will be the one person that calls it like it is.  You are small, weak, and sickly both in thought and deed and with that I have only one other thing to say to you... Have a nice day.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

DD/TTWD, Spanking, and Self-Discovery


DD/TTWD is truly an amazing, vibrant lifestyle. We get the benefit of learning and being even more mindful of our partner's ideas, thoughts, dreams and desires. Even though June and I came into our relationship "as is", we have also discovered much about each other. When we were at the "feeling out" stage of our relationship,  there was certainly some trepidation about some of the things that we both felt and enjoyed. We have routinely  been delighted to find out that our communication has  led to us  being completely and utterly on the same page. June and I have come to realize that we probably belong to a sub-category of DD/TTWDers that may in fact be all our own.  We have alluded to, suggested, and even plainly stated that we are in fact spanking enthusiasts as well as a practicing DD/TTWD couple.


 I guess to some that might seem like an oxymoron, but June and I couldn't imagine life any other way. We also know that there are quite a few professed "spank-nos" out there.  I would also go a bit further and dare ask a question.... What if the line were blurred? What would happen if spanking wasn't used strictly for correction? What would happen if you discovered a wonderful tool that led to you talking more, touching more, kissing more, and making love deeper and stronger?  I'm sure you're all saying that it's easy for me to say and that my own backside isn't on the line, but truth is that far beyond correction or even discipline, there is something about spanking that calls to our shared sense of intimacy. It's more than just sexy, it's more than just something we do, it's who we are and what we share with nobody else. It brings us clarity, focus and speaks deep of the devotion that we hone daily.


 It doesn't necessarily have to be spanking.  We realize  that everyone is different, unique, special. That is in fact part of the magic of relationships. Romance, dedication and communication can unveil more than what simply passes a passionate fancy... No, sometimes intimate, connective time unveils a deeper side of our relationship. The kind we guard, the kind we have a thirst for... Those defining intimate moments that you savor while you are at work and pop into your head while you are doing a load of laundry. Even now typing this I am reminded of the thirst I have for June's love, affection, touch and sweet, soft kindness.  Every day in every way this energy, this intimacy defines a relationship.  June and I just happen to think that spanking in it's many sumptuous forms happens to be a perfect vehicle for this.


Self-discovery begins with but a few words, communication is the key. Do you have a unrequited passion that you long to share with your partner? Tell them, show them how you feel, and that it's more than that tingly feeling  or something that curls your toes.  Trepidation much?  Sometimes the only way to gain new ground is to take the first step and give voice to our thoughts, dreams, and yes, desires.  Likewise, take the time to give ear to the voice of your partner... Work together to find that special place that belongs to you as a couple and you as a couple alone.  Find that spark, let if blossom into the beautiful flames of deep intimacy. 


 Knowing these things, DD/TTWD has actually improved in every aspect for us.  That connection we speak of, that intimacy drives us to be our best. June is the best woman that I've ever had the pleasure to know, and she puts everything into being loving wife, mother, and best friend.  DD/TTWD also makes me want to be a better man, to be a good father and to bring love and light to our family. Who would have thought a teensy, tiny little spanking would do all that?!


Her POV:

I was raised in a culture of guilt. I accept the blame for everything, and I mean everything. I stress from life in general, I didn't do well enough, I didn't give enough, I shouldn't have been annoyed at the children, the laundry wasn't done, I didn't finish an assignment, dinner was delayed or something happened along the way and a step took longer than it should have. I am my own worst critic.

I take things to heart. Sometimes I am overly sensitive. Things are said that are innocuous, but I get upset. Or just the trials of life, things beyond  our control, I fret, and knowing how much is on his plate, hold them in, effectively building walls. I rely on him to help me. Spankings break down those walls and keep us stripped and open, close and communicating.

At other times there is nothing as intimate as laying yourself bare across his lap, open for his touch, in all the ways he chooses to touch you. It is a wonderful, warm, soft, surrendered, vulnerable, cared for, loved, protected feeling. It, too, is stripped away intimacy.

Spanking for us is the tool, the vehicle that we use to drive our relationship. I look to him to support me as I support him, to elevate me as I elevate him, to hold me accountable, to change my 'stinkin' thinkin', to correct me when I stray from our truth, to help me be open, soft, feminine and vulnerable. For us, these things often start with me across his lap, with his leadership and my trust,with my vulnerability and his acceptance, and with the gift to each other of authenticity, of his Dominance and my submission.