Our One Year Blogiversary! March 1

One whole year, good golly, Miss Molly! It's amazing to still be here after a year. I never thought I had so much to say. And I sure never thought it was anything worth hearing. I am so grateful to this community and to all the wonderful friends that we have made here. I am thankful for all the kind words and support when Ward was deployed. And the prayers while we wait out this career planning process. I'm grateful for the fellowship when I have hit spots in my submissive life where I felt like I was struggling.

Blogging has been an invaluable tool. There is never anything that we have gone through that we have not worked out together first. What we share here is only part of our story. But sometimes, even after things have been resolved between us, we come to a greater understanding of each other, ourselves and our relationship when we puzzle it out here. It gives us more ways to grow together.

We appreciate that everyone in the community is so generous in sharing their thoughts, feelings and struggles. It gives us talking points, and maybe helps us identify sticking points - me in my own submission, and Ward in understanding me. (I don't  think he really has many sticking points as an HoH. He is wise, strong and confident.... but perhaps it helps him as well).

We have a blurb on top of the comment field, it says "Thank you for being part of our chosen family".

We mean that the most sincere manner. When I see my sisters struggling, or dealing with grief, I wish the physical world was as close as this virtual one, and that I could open the door and just sit with you. When I see one of my sisters saying things so uncharacteristic of her, I long to bake a coffee cake and trudge over with it and a pot of tea. When one of my sisters, and sometimes our big brothers, share their wisdom, or something important they gleaned from their own journey, I sit enthralled and honored at the generosity and the beauty of spirit in our family.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all, for opening your hearts and your hands, for giving Ward and I a place at the table, a family that understands our journey, and some of the very best friends I have ever been privileged to know.

HIS POV: 

It has been a true pleasure getting to know each and every one of you. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your support, prayers advice and inspiration to June whilst I was deployed. Blogging has opened my eyes, given me insight, and given me the tools to be a better father, husband, a better man for my family, and for that I again say thank you.

The sense of community, the need for a male voice, and the desire to offer genuine help, valuable ideas, and a friendly ear to listen has been nothing short of invaluable in  my motivation to gain a deeper understanding of DD/TTWD, be a better husband, and in general share a voice with those that would have ears to listen. Thank you all for being who you are and for giving us wonderful friends and family in the truest sense.  Thank you all again and we look forward to the year to come and sharing more with you all!

Psychological explanation for TTWD??

Here is something you didn't know about me. I go to school. When my then husband left my children and I for a girl half our age, I was shocked to say the least. I had planned on going back to school when my youngest was in school for midwifery or psychology. When he left, I wanted to remain available for my youngest as I was for my oldest, and thought that I could not do either and still be available for the boys. So I decided on computer information systems - what the fluff was that about?

It seemed the wise thing at the time. No clinicals, study from home, work and school both online, the boys don't suffer. At first it was not so bad. But gradually, I felt like I was beating my head against the wall. I disliked the business classes. I disliked the corporate environment. And after a while coding, instead of being fun - look what I can make the computer do,

became oh my God, it's eating my brain! It was like sitting in a room alone all day doing calculus - blech!

                                                    

It was absolutely soul-sucking.

I talked to Ward about it, and as supportive as ever, he told me to do what was going to make me happiest, even if it meant 'losing' time in obtaining my degree. And, happily as it turned out, I actually will be done one semester sooner, all of my CIS credits filled all my free electives. All I have to take are my core classes and in 14 months I'll have my BA in Child and Early Development. You can't do clinical work with a BA, but there is an agency in town which does crisis interventions in schools, and places at risk children with a counselor available through the school day. I will go to work with them as I pursue my Masters to do clinical work.

I have Ethics and Intro to Psych this session and I am carrying an A in both classes. I feel engaged, excited and invested. This week in psych we are studying emotion, stress and personality. And as I was doing some reading for class today I had this light bulb moment. Something I read equated so incredibly with TTWD that I had to share it. I know I'm not the only one that wonders why TTWD is a very real need for some of us.

Many of us have said we don't know why the spanking makes us feel better, it just does. I read the following passage and the note I made in my book was this: DD has health benefits! The passage reads:

     James Pennebaker and his colleagues  have conducted many correlational  and experimental         studies that demonstrate the advantages to our mental and physical health of opening up versus suppressing our feelings. This research team has found that simply talking about or writing about our emotions or our reactions to negative events [negative thoughts from our past and actions based upon our fears & doubts are what leads most of us otk] provides substantial health benefits. For instance Pennebaker and Beall randomly assigned students to write about either the most traumatic and stressful events of their lives or trivial topics. Although the students who wrote about the traumas had higher blood pressure and more negative moods immediately after they wrote their essays, they were also less likely to visit the student health center for illness during the following six months.

And a subsequent passage:
     Daily writing about one's emotional states has been found to increase immune system functioning.

WOW! So that means that those of us who are in DD relationships, where we communicate often and better, are open about our negative thoughts and feelings and also blog - are a pretty darn healthy bunch, emotionally and physically and have killer immune systems. Hmmmm, ya think we could advocate DD for it's health benefits ?