Sunday, December 30, 2012

When it's a Struggle


 I'd like to start off by wishing you and your family a happy and healthy New Year.  With the bulk of the holiday season in the rear view mirror,  it's a good time to relax, and review some of the things we loved, and some of the things that caused the most stress during the holiday season and take stock of just where we stand in our relationships.


  Do you ever struggle with TTWD/DD? I know I do. It may sound kind of odd to hear that coming from a HoH, but it's true. I try to handle things with the grace, consideration and kindness that is paramount to the position of Head of the House.  That is something that I haven't always gone into here, but believe me when say that, these things are of the utmost importance to me as a Husband, father, and leader.  It is important that I give June's feelings, thoughts, and ideas the consideration that they warrant, I also try to do what I can to take some of the day to day stress from her shoulders so that she can be at her best both at home and when we are away. Is any of this easy?  No, not always but it is worth doing.

One of my own biggest personal barriers to this is stress and fatigue. The holidays were truly wondrous, a beautiful time of giving and sharing, spirituality, family amidst a backdrop of the first truly white Christmas this man has seen in a long time. This was especially special for me as the holiday season  has traditionally been very difficult time for me.  June has helped me with this in innumerable ways, but prior to her and the boys, I would kind of hole up in my proverbial "crystal fortress" and stay there until well after the New Year. The holidays were indeed great, but after looking around it seems that I am definitely not alone in struggling with this time of year.


The struggle is why communication is of even more importance. TTWD/DD is a lifestyle that encourages communication and honesty and it is these roots that we must cling to when life becomes difficult. Indeed when stress threatened during the chaotic uproar of the holidays, I took June's hand and led her upstairs and just held her for a few min. Nothing fancy, just reassurance, connection and a chance to exchange words from the heart.  I fully recognize that it can be very difficult to find time to connect, but trust me when I tell you that if you find a way or make a way to do so, it will be time well spent.

When we struggle with this lifestyle, when simple thoughts sound different, when obedience is hard, when we are just tired, when we just want to retreat for a few min of quiet, when the kids become too loud, when we want to put up walls... We have to stop it before it even starts. Distance and confusion can only cause problems in the long-term, that's why it is far better to open up and talk before a tiny crack becomes a Grand Canyon. 


When we struggle, we have found that somtimes the best thing to do is to ask for help.  Putting the chores down, setting the soup to simmer, letting the kids figure it out for themsevles for a second and just getting to the heart of our problems, and doing what is best for the relationship.  Sometimes this means giving each other a little space and time to think and process. Sometimes it means my understanding that I didn't make the right choice and being cognizant of this and owning my mistakes.  Sometimes it means putting my pride aside and saying that I was wrong, somtimes it means apologizing and endeavoring to do what it takes to get where we need to be. Sometimes I have to be aware of when she needs me to take control and give her body and mind the release that they need.  Somtimes even when she hasn't broken a rule a good spanking can knock down walls and bring us closer and renew our dedication to what we have talked about and agreed upon. She knows the doors and my arms are always open... in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day. Even when it isn't easy it is what is real and right.


Rosy red cheeks…

The young lady appears to be enjoying her spanking                                                               

When we struggle we are reminded of the need for true vigilance and dedication to each other and our values and the importance of giving and sacrifice even when it is not easy or convenient (which is extremely rare)  An HoH should be humble, wise, observant, kind-hearted, and a good listener. An Hoh's lady should be obedient, open, honest, and caring. Both should be diligent, truthful, dedicated, and have hearts that long for a deep and solid connection that can withstand the stress that life so often brings. I can guarantee that along with death and taxes, the New Year will bring stress and fatigue.  Will I be what June deserves? No, not always, but I will make every effort to give her the attention, time, and love that she needs to thrive.  We would encourage you all to find a way or make a way to work in a little bit of time just for yourselves when things get hard.  If you do nothing but tell each other how you really feel and work on getting where you both need to be it will be time will spent!  


Happy New Year!


Her POV:

 Hmm, this was a good one, Daddy :) In the last post, I said that sometimes I need to take that sullenness and hold it back for the moment it takes to realize that what he does he does for our betterment. You know, that goes here, too. I have two jobs, am a full-time student and we have two special needs children. So sometimes taking that spoon out of my hand and turning down the soup is almost an act of war, lol. But When I stop and take a breath, and see myself spinning, and let myself feel what comes through his touch, yes, he is giving me the gift of release of urgency, the gift of dinner-can-be-10-minutes-later-take-a-breath-and feel-US. 

Sometimes I think people think that it is easy for us. But I think it's important to know that we work hard at this...every single day....because it is the most important thing we will ever do, for ourselves, and for our children. No, I am not the happy, glowy little Stepford Wife, I'm the girl with the inside of her cheek chewed up from biting back my knee-jerk reaction, from fighting the eye-roll till I can feel his motivation, and I can feel his desire for harmony, and I can pull mine out past my hurry-up. Is it worth it? Every single time.

Do I need him to take control sometimes? Absolutely...he's the big picture man. Do I need the super-hard-stingy-but-not-naughty-girl-spankings sometimes? Absolutely. They do break down the walls that come with day to day junk. Does he deserve me? Absolutely not....he deserves so much better. But he loves me, and I love him with my entire being. 

Happy New Year to all of you. Remember to stop, and take time for what is really important - each other.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

What would I give him...

...this man who has my heart?

I offer him my complete "yes, Daddy."

 Daddy's Rules                       

I offer him my obedience with what I hope is not the slightest of hesitation.

.true beauty                                                      submission!!

I offer him humble acceptance of his loving correction and the reassurance of his discipline...even when it's difficult, even when I struggle...then I offer him the triumph of my stillness.


I offer him my pleasure, for surely he is it's source.

   :-)   gasp   desire haiku

I offer him my hand, with which to lead me.

love this pic                  

I offer him  my unfaltering step in following him.


I offer him my shoulder when his burdens become heavy.

I won't let you fall                   forever

I offer him my heart, bursting with love - the eternal spring he brings to our lives.


I offer him my soul, the essence of who I am, because only with him am I who I was meant to be.

for the first timeI'm much more me when I'm with you.

I offer him, my very life, trusting that I am safe in his hands. 

in his hands                                                      It takes courage to kneel and surrender.

I offer him my gratitude for his acceptance of these very humblest of gifts, the only things I have to offer....he accepts them with fervor, with reverence, with joy... these simple, homely things - he looks upon as though their value knew no bounds.

  truth                 <3                              

What would I give him?

Simpler to ask what I would withhold.....nothing. I am his.

All yours.                                                       .

Fifty Shades of Grey
...and it does, my love

HIS POV:    

I am truly humbled by June's offering of deepest love.  The desire to fill my world with light and to become that world as surely and deeply as the waters of the ocean.. this is what my wildest dreams are made of. To traipse along the outskirts of heaven and to dance along the cosmos in true unity it puts tears of love and joy in this man's eyes.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Thank you, Cat!

In light of Cat's latest post Answers it seems the perfect time to publish this (We have had it in the can for a lil bit). Cat, we love and respect you, and want you to know that we value you and your kindness, sweetness and genuineness in this community.


I just wanted to take time to say a great big thank you to Cat, for all the things that she gives to our community. She gives us a place to go and have a laugh when we feel like crying...

She always visits our posts and gives words of support and encouragement...

When we are attacked, she stands with us...

She has never been less than gracious...

Thank you, Cat for all you do. I am honored to call you friend...

HIS POV:   Cat, it is a true privilege to call you a friend, your kind words of encouragement and solid advice have always inspired  June and I.  We just wanted to take some time to recognize  your kindness and friendship, it is a true treasure!  

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

with all our love, and wishes for love, hope, 'enough', health, happiness to our chosen family and their families
~Ward, June and children

We wanted to share some of our favorite Christmas songs with you...

...agus Síochán leat, agus Nollaig shona duit.

HIS POV:   Good tidings and Merry Christmas to you all! From our family to yours, we wish you a happy, healthy, safe and merry Christmas!  Weather you are headed across town to Grandma's house, or across the country, we sincerely wish that you be blessed and prosperous in the year to come and all of the years that follow!  Thank you so much for sharing our journey this year and we look forward to sharing and learning more in the year to come!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Cookies - as requested by Cat :) 

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 2 hours
Yield: 64 - inch bites
  • For Shortbread:
  • 10 tbsp. salted butter, melted
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1/4 tsp. salt
  • Zest of half an orange
  • 1 egg yolk, whisked
  • 1 2/3 cups All Purpose flour
  • For Caramel:
  • 14 tablespoons butter
  • 3/4 cup light brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 3/4 cup light corn syrup
  • 2 tsp. sea salt
  • 1/4 cup heavy cream
  • 1 1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
  • 1/4 tsp vanilla bean paste
  • Sea salt flakes, to top

  1. Prepare an 8×8 inch pan with parchment paper with the edges of the parchment hanging over two of the sides. This allows you to remove the bars easily once cooled.
  2. Combine the melted butter, sugar, salt and zest with a fork in a large bowl. Add the yolk and again combine with the fork. Add the flour and stir with a heavy spoon or your hands and combine the dough until it is well combined. Place the dough in the prepared pan and press down evenly with your hands until the pan is covered. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to one hour. Remove and bake at 350 for 25-28 minutes, until very lightly browned. Allow to cool while you are preparing the caramel.
  3. In a heavy bottomed pot, such as enameled cast iron, combine all caramel topping ingredients save for the extract and bean paste. Bring to a boil and stir until sugars are dissolved and the mixture is well combined. Using a candy thermometer, watch for the goal of about 230 degrees. Allow to boil at this temp for several minutes, until it begins to climb over 235. Stir continuously. Remove from heat and stir in the extract and paste. Allow to cool for a couple of minutes, then pour over the shortbread base. Once chilled, top with melted chocolate and sprinkle with sea salt.
For chocolate topping, melt 1 cup dark chocolate chips and 1/2 tablespoon shortening in the microwave. Heat at 30 second intervals, stirring after each. When smooth, use as directed.

 June's note: I would probably lessen the amount of salt in the caramel. Frankly it was a lot of effort and a disappointing result as written. We won't be making this recipe again


Prep Time: 15 min
Inactive Prep Time: 2 hr 20 min
Cook Time: 15 min
Serves:  44 cookies



  • 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 stick unsalted butter, softened
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 (15-ounce) container whole milk ricotta cheese
  • 3 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1 lemon, zested


  • 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
  • 3 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1 lemon, zested


Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
In a medium bowl combine the flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.
In the large bowl combine the butter and the sugar. Using an electric mixer beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs, 1 at a time, beating until incorporated. Add the ricotta cheese, lemon juice, and lemon zest. Beat to combine. Stir in the dry ingredients.
Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Spoon the dough (about 2 tablespoons for each cookie) onto the baking sheets. Bake for 15 minutes, until slightly golden at the edges. Remove from the oven and let the cookies rest on the baking sheet for 20 minutes.
Combine the powdered sugar, lemon juice, and lemon zest in a small bowl and stir until smooth. Spoon about 1/2-teaspoon onto each cookie and use the back of the spoon to gently spread. Let the glaze harden for about 2 hours. Pack the cookies into a decorative container.
SERVES: 44 (PER COOKIE); Calories: 113; Total Fat 3.5 grams; Saturated Fat: 2 grams; Protein: 2 grams; Total carbohydrates: 19 grams; Sugar: 13 grams Fiber: 0 grams; Cholesterol: 20 milligrams; Sodium: 76 milligrams

June's note: MAKE THESE COOKIES!!! They are awesomesauce! I can imagine all kinds of variations, making with lime, or orange, or orange and CHOCOLATE CHIPS - YUMMO!!!!!

Ward's note: MAKE THESE COOKIES!!!! Your life will seriously be better!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Images of Submission 1

A submissive is not powerless, they have a great power in cultivating love in yielding to the Dominant they trust.

These are just some images that evoke a strong response in my submissive muscle:

this is it for me...who I am in my heart

Pinned ImagePinned Image

I have never in my life been made to feel beautiful. I have always been told I was lacking. I have never felt that I possessed any kind of grace, not physical, not spiritual...Ward impresses on me every day that I possess a grace that colors my interactions with him. I surrender to him because I enjoy that feeling of yielding. I can feel myself under his hand, like the tree under the hand of the wind, bending to his will, and retaining true self...growing stronger in my identity

Pinned Image
Pinned Image                                                                                              
The more that we dance this dance, the stronger my hunger for him grows, and the stronger grows his hunger for me. I need to feel him, his essence, his aura, I need the scent of him, I need his warmth. My pulse, my heart quicken at the mere thought of him. He thrills and excites me, he calms and soothes me, he holds me in the palm of his hand and he lets me fly.

I am naked before him.  I have no secrets, no guile. He knows me so well that a change in my breath will bring him to my side. He knows me so well that all I need do is meet his eyes, or touch him. He knows me so well, that he knows my heart and soul when his hands are on my body. I thirst and he is water. I hunger and he is bread. I gasp and he fills my lungs. I weep and he is comfort. I cry out and he is release. I am affected and he is joy. I live and he is the world that fills me, surrounds me, nourishes me.

Daddy's RulesPinned Image                                                                          
I give him my submission freely, doing so frees me. I have been a prisoner of convention. In yielding to him, in bending to his will, in offering him myself, I find that place of peace.

dī méi  ("eyes downward in submission" - yes this is really my neck)

Next to salvation, her beautiful submission is the greatest gift I  have ever been given.  She gifts me with her deference, honors me with her obedience and lifts me up with her support.  I am a very lucky man to have such a sweet, submissive lady who lives for the love that we both create!