Butthurt

                                                                                                             

                                                            

No, I don't mean a bottom that is actually hurting.... or what might lead to a bottom hurting...

I'm talking about hurt feelings.  I think that it goes without saying that anyone that is or has ever been in a relationship has either said something hurtful or been told something that perhaps didn't agree with their ideas or emotional state.  I think both parties in a relationship need to be aware that the words they use have the power to affect their partner's attitude and response to those words.

Sometimes situations are difficult. Sometimes there are truths that we need to hear. Sometimes difficult choices have to be made and  in these situations it is easy to miscommunicate and hurt someone's feelings. I think open honest communication can in many cases prevent or minimize emotional damage. I think it is important for both people to make a strong and significant effort to listen and not marginalize.  A good partner finds a way, even when it is difficult to take the time to truly listen.

                                                                                
                                               

We can never really take words back once they leave our mouths. Now having said that, I realize that it is definitely possible to hurt somone's feelings unintentionally. So now what? Do we have a nervous laugh? Do we just say "They'll get over it"? No, even when we accidently harm with our words, the onus is on us to make it right.

Making it right is more than just a simple apology. Making it right means not just saying, but showing our partner that what is important to them is important to us. HoH's need to be especially attentive to this...guys, make every effort to show your lady that you are man enough to admit when you made a mistake, apologize earnestly. Ladies, ensure your guy understands that you support him, even through the difficult choices and be aware of the impact of your words as well.  We all have busy lives, but making time to make things right isn't just the sign of someone who cares, it is the cleansing of the slate and an opportunity to learn and become stronger as individuals, as a couple and as a family unit.

                                                       

Here are a few things that I believe make the apology process easier:

- Eye Contact - This one is a make or break... Eye contact is critical

- The time to do it - If there isn't time... Make time, this is somthing that needs to be done sooner rather than later.

- A quiet place - If need be, go to your room and close the door, turn off your phone, turn off the tv... make sure that you won't be interupted

- Sincerity - understand what is on your partners mind and show them that you understand what they need from you here and now.

Learning from these experiences is actually a very valuable tool. We must seize the opportunities we are given to become stronger, and we must never let something - even something seemingly small come between us. I've said it before, but it bears repeating... simply put as vibrant and beautiful couples we just don't have time for the butthurt.

                                                      

Showing your partner that you can put aside your pride and admit that you are wrong is more than just valuable, it can enhance your time together and put you both right in the place where you need to be.

                                                            

Her POV:

The first time Ward apologized to me I was like a deer in the headlights. That just never happened to me before. I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to do with that. I have always been the one who apologized... even when it wasn't my fault. I was not used to anyone else accepting responsibility in the relationship.

Our job when they come to us in this way is to accept with grace, and let them know that it is behind us...the slate is clean. Is that not the gift that they give to us - the gift of forgiveness and a clean slate?
We need to be able to put ourselves in their shoes and understand that it was not easy to come to us. We need to ask ourselves what we seek from them when we are in the wrong. We need to see that their apology is their way of expressing their love, and their dedication to our relationships over self.

They are just as human as we are. They make mistakes. And when they apologize they make themselves vulnerable, too. They need that feeling of absolution as much as we do. Imagine what it would feel like if you offered your heart and were rejected... the walls would be flying up, and we would be moving away from each other, instead of towards each other. When we have wrong our partner, no matter if you are the HoH or the TiH, we need the forgiveness and grace of our partner.

And as Ward said, I can't emphasize how important it is to stop and  listen to each other. Turn off all distractions, if there are other people around do go to your room. This is a huge opportunity to connect with our partners, to create intimacy, and to build our relationships even stronger.

Lesson learned, fear shed

Part of our relationships are about growth and learning. Sometimes that is not a painless process. I have had several great revelations throughout my relationship with Ward. I just had another one... it shook me with it's magnitude and it shook him, at first negatively, thinking that I doubted him. Then, when I reached the conclusion, we began to rebuild with a new understanding.

It started with a question..."Daddy, do you think I'm real?" No, that wasn't like, do you think I'm too good to be true, that was, do you think I am genuine or a faker? "I'm afraid that the mask will fall away and that I will be ugly underneath." And it was met with the words that cut me to the core and make me bleed my faithlessness. "Why are you afraid to see the positive? Is not my love good? Does blessing not find you?"

Why would I think such a thing? I came from a woman with a dark heart. She could love no one but her self. My father...very distant... I think.... still do, though he denies it, that there is a distance because I was born from that darkness. I spent most of my life not knowing how to be, but having a vivid example of what not to be, how not to do things, how not to treat people. I have a recurring dream of her, one that wakes me up screaming, her head on the body of a viper, that sly, portentous smile that harbored the most impure of intents. She was mistress of disguise to entrap, then she attacked and destroyed.






I, myself, in this life have borne many masks. They were the masks I wore when I was told that I was not enough, to keep a love that did not really exist. My fingers curled from the burden of carrying these masks throughout my life. When I found this man who loved me in a genuine way, in an ever-growing, deep and abiding way, I waited to be not enough. We got past that hurdle. Then I began to fear that I was full of guile, that I would shed a mask one day and he would see the 'real me' and be disgusted.






And as we talked, and his words braided into the lifeline that I have come to rely on, I saw that my hands were empty...for the first time ever, my fingers are unfurled and unburdened. I carry no mask, I hold no guile...with him, I am an open heart. I have always stood naked before him, because for him, I have always been enough. And the realization that struck me like thunder? I'm afraid to be her. I'm afraid that having come from her, she will slither out of my soul. But he has taught me, enough that I can feel it, enough that I can see it, enough that I can believe it....I am not her. My heart is not dark. I will not break open and spill venom on those that I love because I bear none.




And this man, whom I love with all that I am and all that I have gives me the gift of freedom. He reaches beyond the wounds that my fear and insecurity cause to him to heal me.

Thank you, Daddy. I don’t have to be afraid anymore. I AM naked before you, there is nothing to fall away. You have always given me the freedom, the gift of being my true self for the first time ever. There were burdens I bore and masks I wore before in vain attempts to be loved. But you long ago stripped me of artifice. I feel lighter, and I have shed another fear. 

No other love in all of the world... in all of my life, there's been no other love. 

HIS POV:
June, came to me damaged in a deep and profound way. The impact that this negative person she speaks of is obvious sometimes even during joy.  I am so thankful that you have learned to let me in and let me show you the light which that person tried to hide from the world.. I saw it right away and even when you struggled... it was there.  You are my true love and greatest blessing and I thank God so much for you! Thank you for letting me take the burden from your shoulders and lead you to a place of light and love. It is a true blessing to love you!

Submission and Obedience - An HoH's View

                                                                                   


                                                                                                  


I think June has expressed the fullness and complexity of her submission in many splendid and beautiful ways. It has come to my attention that perhaps it might be high time that I weighed in on a subject so precious and complex.  When we where getting acquainted, June and I spent hours of time just talking.  We shared ideas, shared stories (I will post more sometime, I promise) and talked well into the wee hours of the night/morning just getting to know how the other thought. June truly does have a submissive, giving heart and a genuine will to please.   I have come to understand that what we share is a rare and beautiful jewel of a gift, something to take pride in, something to protect, something to burnish, and polish until it shines brighter than diamonds.



                                             


I think when we were in the initial phases of our relationship, it took some getting used to for me.  Here she was the first truly pure soul that I have ever known.  When our relationship went beyond the simple cozy phase to the 'Wow this is the one truly love phase' it didn't take long for us to fall into our respective rolls with relish and joy.  Dominance, even in the most domestic sense has always been something that is natural for me, it's just like falling off a log or making love, or laughing in the rain.  June is again, a natural submissive and I imagine it must be  much the same,  like laughing or like enjoying a warm sunny day.  I'm sure you have heard her say it several times, but in many ways June and I feel very blessed to have  experienced this lifestyle almost by default.  You may know or have well guessed that June and I also happen to be spanking enthusiasts, but it's more than that. Our relationship thrives off of the structure, and support that Domestic Discipline brings and promotes. We are open and honest with each other, and we love each other enough to hold each other accountable and to listen even when it isn't simple or easy.

Understanding June's submissive nature has led to the many delightful discoveries. One of the things I take such a joy in is her obedience. I guess it might sound funny to read in this day and time, but one of the things I take pride in besides (well everything) is how she expresses her love and devotion to me and our relationship by working hard to be obedient.  I know it can't always be easy and that there are many complex and beautiful factors at work here. To obey and serve another is amongst the highest of callings and to be loved by one so diligent, pleasing and genuinely interested touches me more and more every day.  It truly does make a man feel like Royalty, and you all know that I try to make her feel like the Queen that she is. So many beautiful things we have discovered, chiefest among them are:



An honesty unparalleled (even when one of us may not like hearing what is said)
A love unfettered
A lightness of mind
A similarity of thought process
A  beauty and richness of soul and a open free heart


Well there are other things that we have discovered... but those are for us... sorry not sharing (grin)


                                                                    



                                                                               

June's beautiful gifts of submission and obedience are straight from the heart and in reciprocity, I give her my strength , my love and my devotion... we may just be regular every day folk, but together  we are something greater...




                                                        




Her POV

Daddy tells me all the time that he is pleased, and that I am his good girl, but to tell you the truth, to see it in concentrated form...I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Ward is a strong, gentle and honorable man. As we talked and got to know each other better, I felt myself opening to him more and more. I suspect that it was very new for both of us. I was never received in the way that he received me. It encouraged me to be more expressive of my nature.

I am - as you've heard me say before - just me, but I have been told that I am a natural submissive. It is not as much of an effort for me to submit as it is for me to be the strong one, the one in control - which is the position I had repeatedly found myself in in prior relationships. With Daddy, it was a folding into him, it was being accepted for the first time ever and being able to just be who I was.

To be able to anticipate his needs, and to see that look on his face, and feel what it does for him, to be able to stretch myself and give him the things that he wants, fulfills me in ways that are very hard to describe. It is a peace, a quiet of the heart and soul, a sense of completeness and a joy I have never known.

I am honored to belong to this warm and giving man, I revel in being able to submit to him in joy, and as the photo at the top of our blog says, I will follow him anywhere and I will always have his back.

Accountability for him...

                                                    


I'm not a perfect person... there are, in fact, many things that I wish I didn't do. But I have been blessed to have found someone who can love me despite my insecurities and faults. I think with the Title, Honor, and Privilege of calling oneself and being called HoH comes a massive amount of responsibility.  A lot of times in TTWD, DD, CDD, LDD and just plain old spanking relationships it's easy to see the system of accountability for one side of the relationship, but what about the other? In my growth and discovery, I have learned that for us it is vital for me to be accountable in my actions not just as the HoH, but also as a man and a relationship partner.


I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone that we do not switch, and we think our system works for us, but I would also like to illustrate a few things about our relationship that I think help me be the man that June needs for me to be, even when it isn't easy for me or when life gets stressful.  

                                                                                                                                         

                                      

1.  Distance is not acceptable and  has to be put down quickly, wanting a little space to work things out is fine, but distancing is not.

                                                    

2.  Sometimes  a cooler head has to prevail, once words come out of the mouth, they can't be taken back in again regardless of apology or intent  (I have to remind myself of this and be mindful of the thoughts in my head)

3.  I can't ask June to do something when I know that I can't,

There are other rules, but I think these illustrate the need for a HoH, Husband, partner to not just be an enforcer, but to be accountable to the relationship's standards as well. How does that happen?   dig deep, I think of  the good of the relationship and when I am wrong I own up to it.  I try not to be that guy that can't admit when he is wrong. I won't go into specifics but not very long ago, something came up and I totally screwed up. They say hindsight is 20-20 but I find myself looking back with the knowledge that I must work on my communication and make things right before the sun goes down. We had a long talk about what happened and we both learned a few things that will help




                                                               





I am not always right, and I love getting June's view.  When I make decisions for us, when I discipline her, when we communicate, love is always at the center and the relationship comes before anything else, not my ego, not a inexplicable and incorrect need to be right, not to make myself feel like I'm above her... My motivation for self-accountability is our love.

                                                        

Her POV:
This is something that I need to get used to. I have never had a partner that accepted responsibility, and when things went wrong I just redoubled my efforts, and of course, there was no reciprocity.

When Ward apologizes, I will be honest, it kind of makes me uncomfortable, I don't know what to say to that. It's one of those open-mouthed flappy lip moments. I am stunned that this man loves me enough to ... well do what I do for him. That sounds silly, I now. And when the shock wears off, my heart overflows with love. He loves me - he values me enough to ask my forgiveness. And I give it as freely as he forgives my copious weaknesses.

That's another place where grace is needed, in accepting his apology, because I felt that he was within his right to react as he did. It would have been easy to brush off his apology. But he needed my grace, he needed my forgiveness. And as much as it helped him grow, it helped me as well. I am learning that I am not in this on my own. I have for the first time in my life a partner, someone who sees me and values me and who cherishes that which we are building together.

Words

 

I've been thinking a lot about how I communicate with Ward to express my submission. Certainly by action, certainly by obedience, by anticipating his needs and the needs of our family, and in how I represent myself, him and our family to others. And clearly, by the most common method - words.Sometimes Ward and I will be talking and I say something that will make me stop and shudder a little, and I'll say..."Oh my, that wasn't very submissive was it? I'm sorry, let's try that like this..." He always chuckles and says, "It's alright, little one, that was just fine." 






There are words that seem less submissive to me and taste metallic and dissonant in my mouth. Daddy asked me to do something and I said 'Okay, Daddy' and I cringed. It was less like I was receiving his direction than I was accepting or deeming it within my realm of responsibility. I thought that perhaps I would try to say instead, simply, "Yes, Daddy." That felt better to me. I know it seems a small thing, but it felt rather large and glaring to me. I asked him which he preferred, and he said either was fine, but "Yes, Daddy" was just a little sweeter.







What other expressions, I wondered, could better reflect my submission. I started paying attention to the things I was saying. Like - 'remind me to tell you something when you get home.' Yikes. That's kinda ...well not submissive. How about - 'remind me to share something with you.' I like that much better.

'I want...' slaps forehead. 'I would like...', better...'I wish to...', hmm, that's nice, too.







Then during a more intimate moment, when he was describing something he wished to do to me - so deliriously delicious - as much in the telling as in the doing. "You can - I'm yours" HOLY COW! Sighs - this stuff takes a lot of work - chin/palm. "I'm yours to do with as you please." Hmmm, that's sexy...



We change and grow and evolve every day, and I continue to seek ways that speak to him with soft strength of how deep is my trust, how profound is my love, how completely and utterly I am owned by him.






HIS POV:  
June's constant commitment to improving our communicative process is a beautiful thing.  I tell her she's her own biggest critic and that sometimes she thinks to much, but truth is I find her dedication to us very touching and a big part of our success as a couple.  I am a very blessed man to have her!

For Anonymous- Redux

We are mature enough to realize that not everyone will agree with our view for our relationship. We accept other people and their ideology, and respect their right to differ and to have their own truths.  We are open to respectful discourse on the subjects we post here. We leave our blog open to anonymous comments because many newcomers to this community do not have blogs yet, or do not wish to have blogs, but wish to converse with other members of the community to share support. We will not disable comments from anonymous posters for this reason. They generally have the courage to identify themselves with a signature.

Anonymous, you have chosen to come and not simply share your views or concerns, but to try to convert, to push your agenda, to call my man an abuser, and to call me a sick, weak, mentally deficient woman (the view with which you attempted to blanket the whole of this community). If you come here to learn a different point of view, not that you have to embrace it, but just that you wish to understand it, you are welcome. If you continue to leave the kind of comments you left and continue to leave on the Unfair Spankings post, your comments will be removed (the last two comments were in fact removed, not by 'the MAN', but by myself.). And again, I have to wonder if you find this lifestyle so repugnant, why have you come (it surely was not accidental), and why do you stay? Believe me when I tell you that none of the women here need to be 'saved'. I am happier in my life with Ward than in all my cumulative years on earth, and no, that is not the effects of Stockholm Syndrome.

We are open to all manner of discussion here, and we welcome respectfully dissenting views. If you can respect those rules, we are happy to welcome you. If you cannot, well the ladies in this community are aware of what you need, and your commentary will not be entertained. I acknowledge that you have no desire to learn or understand, but in the spirit of the kind of woman I choose to be, one of the women of this great, warm community, I offer you the opportunity to educate yourself. Clint has an excellent discussion on Spanking vs. Abuse: Clearing Up Misconceptions, and Old Fashioned Marriage has an outstanding post on what our submission brings to our marriages, Surrendering Your Bunch of Keys. Additionally our Favorite Posts From Other Blogs page has many exemplary posts that illustrate the richness of our lives.

If you choose to accept the conditions for participation here, welcome. If you choose not to, we wish you well, but do not return.

HIS POV: 
I think June has already done a terrific job of accurately assessing this situation. I have thought long and hard about what I wanted to say here, and I will admit at first I was very angry, but now, now I'd just like to say that I feel sorry for you Anonymous.  It's very clear that you came here spewing hate and judgement all over something that you don't and cannot understand.

June is the apple of my eye and I'm sure every HoH will tell you the same about his woman. I'm also inclined to inform you that when you attack her you'd better be ready  to be held accountable.  My June and her honor are two things that I will staunchly defend against ignorant, hateful bigots like you. 

I must also say that this is a place designed, and built upon the ideas of unconditional love first, and true devotion and eternal companionship. So before you go spouting off about things you know nothing about, first and foremost understand that by attacking us, you've also insulted our brothers and sisters and that dog won't hunt. 

I wish you well Anonymous, hope you are leading a blessed life and that you are loved and well.  It is my fondest wish for you to understand that you can't make me angry anymore, you'll only find pity here and your venomous words will only be deleted.  Live well, and be blessed, but be assured you have no voice here.  Oh and once again have a nice day. 

To our readers, I apologize if I come off a bit brusque, but I won't let ignorance flourish here.  We promise the next post will be of a bit more even tone!

Seeking Perfection

I have a friend (do you, June, do you really? - yes I really do) - a DD friend. She says sometimes that she feels inferior. I tell her that she shouldn't everyone has their own path, that Ward and I started our relationship this way, not like her and her Daddy who changed after 14 years of marriage, and that I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I am just blessed with a strong Daddy, who is capable of handling my imperfections, and loving me still more and deeper when we come out on the other side. So, I thought I should share a tale that shows just how very human I am.

Daddy and I had a rough weekend.I've only been corrected twice in our time together. I was corrected twice this weekend. The first time for distancing....*head shaking* oh, June, not again...yes, again - sigh - it's a process....yes it is my greatest struggle. And because this is not the first time, Ward wanted to make a point, and he did...strenuously.






Yesterday, Daddy said something that struck that both feet down, brakes in the dirt kind of reaction.So thinking back to the Saturday, I thought, okay, no hesitation, immediate response, and I bypassed my filters, crossed my arms, put my nose in the air and said 'Fine!' (I see you all cringing...I did too, but I was going for broke here...it was a test of the Unfiltered Broadcast System which apparently is in no way connected to any system of survival...you see where this is going right?) Daddy said, "When a lady says fine it is most certainly anything but."






Just a little background. Because of my background, I have a fear that one day he will wake up and see 'the real me' the one that seems so easy to walk away from, that there is something inside of me that surfaces at some point, less than the sum of who I am. So, snarky June (yes, June can be snarky - sighs ashamedly) said, "Well, you may as well see the real me." And Daddy replied, "Perhaps I should see the real you, but be prepared for a real reaction." I was, I knew what would happen, I certainly didn't expect him to back down from disrespect because of hurt feelings or anything. Believe it or not, I knew exactly what I was doing (just maybe not why in that moment) and I knew exactly what he would do. He did not disappoint.


Many spanks, many implements, and some baby oil later, a very emotionally rung out little girl lay in her Daddy's arms. I apologized for my disrespect, I told him that I expected no less than what had happened, and that it wasn't the real me...but it was the unfiltered me. I am not always immediately the sweet, sunny June. It takes work. I have to suppress all kinds of....unworthy emotions sometimes. I explained that I may sometimes hesitate, or pull back just a little, but it's not trying to shut him out, it's me trying to process, running a gut check, and running knee jerk responses through my filters trying to be his good girl.

Daddy said he understood that and he owed me an apology for spanking me the day before. I said he didn't, I needed it anyway. He said he did owe me an apology, while I did need it, it was not for the reason it was given. I don't think it was unjust, and I don't think it was unfair. I broke one of our fundamental rules in the way it was established and defined. We've done a lot of talking, and we've refined that rule. Daddy will allow me time to process, and I will try to let him know that's what's going on so he's knows I'm not drifting away.

So it was a very not very good, bad, terrible, emotionally draining weekend, BUT, we gained new insight, and tons of new understanding and closeness. And I faced one of my deepest fears, that Daddy would see me at my worst and find me untenable. But he didn't. Daddy always said, don't make me chase you, little one, I'll only love you harder. And he did. Sometimes our worst, most fearful moments turn into the most successful trust-building exercises.

HIS POV: 
June is my greatest achievements in life, and yes, sometimes the growing and learning process can be a painful one.  This weekend taught both of us many valuable lessons to remember and use on our journey. Sometimes an HoH has to recognize when he has been wrong, and own it. I also think Ms. June learned that I will never, never stop loving her. No matter what she says or does, she has me as her biggest fan and I love her more every day.  With discipline, patience and  a dedication to not just me, not just her, but us, I think it is possible for us to reach new levels of love and communication.

Broken

I came damaged. I was broken. If you ask Ward he will tell you that I have changed, that I am less fearful than when we first knew each other. I know that I once projected a sense of false bravado that I have abandoned. I don't need it anymore.But once upon a time I needed it. It was how I protected myself. I was the odd bird with the very strange plumage and the stranger vocalizations, because if you were odd, people didn't get too close. And if they did, you could always distance. Yup. I had it all covered.




The woman who gave birth to me was schizophrenic. I talked before about the things that happened in the house where I grew. She was physically abusive.She was verbally and emotionally abusive. She let her men touch me and use me in ways a child should never know. I learned to dissociate, to be unaffected, to suppress my emotions to such an extent that you would have thought I was a mannequin. I learned to distance rather than feel very early in life.







When I was out in the world, just old enough to work (both to get out of the house - away from her, and because it was required - she wanted the money), I learned that if you were quiet - and non-conformist - usually people left you alone. I shaved my head.I dressed in steel-toed boots and jeans, or all black if required to wear skirts or dresses...WITH black boots. That usually kept people at a distance. And if it didn't, if they were curious about this odd person, my mask of bravado was enough to hold them at bay. And if it didn't, well I never really let anyone in close enough to hurt me.



Then I did, three times. None of them ended well. All of them ended with me working multiple jobs to support my partners who were jobless for two to six years. And while I was working seven days a week, in some cases 16-18 hours a day, they found other partners. And I was convinced that I was not enough, never would be. Even my own mother couldn't love me. I was unattractive, in mind and body, and apparently lacking in heart. This is what I was told and shown over and over and over from earliest memory. I honestly believed that I carried some defect, some darkness because of my birth. I felt that the darkness inhabited my soul, and could be seen and felt.

Then I saw a poem that touched my heart and soul and wrote to the author to express my gratitude for having been blessed in the reading of it, and I met my Ward. The Story of How We Met is found elsewhere on the blog and I won't bore you with that again either (even though I love the story). As we got to know each other better, I was sure that he would see the darkness, too, that he would find the thing that made him run, that the brokenness would send him screaming into the night. But it didn't.

He tries to get me to see me as he does. He tries to help silence the nagging little voice that says he will find me out. He is patient and kind and he gently and diligently calls my surrender of those things that can put a distance between us.. He makes rules to try to guide my thoughts away from the notion that I am not enough. He has made a rule that I may not make self-disparaging remarks. He says that I have been lied to all my life, and that I do not see myself clearly because of those lies.  Sometimes when we are having a conversation about how I am feeling, I will ask for immunity so that I can express what goes through my mind. I have come to realize, with Stormy's help, that when I distance (another rule) it looks to him like I do not trust him with my thoughts and feelings and fears. So I have made an effort to give him those things, I think I've been pretty successful.

One of the most frustrating...disheartening things that I have found in our foray into blogland, and the subsequent self-discovery that it brings, is that every time I believe that I have FINALLY surrendered the very last thing to Ward, that I am completely open and holding nothing back...I find another.

We were having an innocent conversation, and Daddy said something sweet. He said that he felt my love enhance his and us. And I replied with an earnest, 'I hope so.' I meant only that I hoped I was worthy. There was a pause and he asked if he could ask me a question, I said of course. And he asked why I say things like 'I hope so', that it was like I doubt what we are.


I was crushed...I had hurt him.I don't doubt him, and I don't doubt us. I  doubt my own worthiness of this beautiful love. He told me that I am beautiful and complicated and his...and I marveled that he still wanted me, even with all the cracks and imperfections And as he talked, he gently placed another piece of broken little me back in place. He made sure that it fit, and that the bond made with his patience and his love was strong. 

 
The next time, a day or two later, that Daddy said something to which my knee-jerk response was to be 'I hope so", I stopped with the words on the tip of my tongue, and took a breath, met his eyes and said, 'Thank you, Daddy."

I came broken, and he is slowly and patiently putting me back together. And he gives me wings.

 

HIS  POV: 
June's early life was one of adversity and disquiet.  I would see her elevated beyond the hurt of the past and help her see the beauty that has always existed in both form and spirit.  I know that there are scars on or within us all. I guess the way I see  it,  nurturing each other is ALWAYS a priority. It is always a comfort to know that she is there for me too. I too have a very "lived in" life and it is a comfort to know that she is always here for me!

The Arms of Midnight

Life sometimes
is glaring and harsh
It offers no respite, no shelter


I wandered
in this arid landscape
weary, burdened, tattered
and with a hunger and thirst
unquenched



Hope was gone
when Midnight appeared
cool, dark and lit from within
a soft, cool, welcoming glow

Bittersweet,
surely not meant
for such as me
Still,
attracted to Midnight's glow,
my moth to his flame



 His cloak unfurled
and enfolded me
in his cool, sweet scent,
Midnight light
controls the water
and bathes succulent fruit
that nourishes and refreshes me



And we dance
in his glow, intoxicating sweetness
and the dance brings comfort,
communion, a joining that
could not have been imagined.

I seek now
my future, where once
I dreaded the forward momentum

But in the light of Midnight
it is beautiful
in the heart of Midnight
I am reborn
in the arms of Midnight
safe, and finally home.







HIS POV:
Your beauty and love delight me and honor me in a deep deep way, for some moments in life there are no more words... I love you June.