Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Accountability for him...
I'm not a perfect person... there are, in fact, many things that I wish I didn't do. But I have been blessed to have found someone who can love me despite my insecurities and faults. I think with the Title, Honor, and Privilege of calling oneself and being called HoH comes a massive amount of responsibility. A lot of times in TTWD, DD, CDD, LDD and just plain old spanking relationships it's easy to see the system of accountability for one side of the relationship, but what about the other? In my growth and discovery, I have learned that for us it is vital for me to be accountable in my actions not just as the HoH, but also as a man and a relationship partner.
I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone that we do not switch, and we think our system works for us, but I would also like to illustrate a few things about our relationship that I think help me be the man that June needs for me to be, even when it isn't easy for me or when life gets stressful.
2. Sometimes a cooler head has to prevail, once words come out of the mouth, they can't be taken back in again regardless of apology or intent (I have to remind myself of this and be mindful of the thoughts in my head)
3. I can't ask June to do something when I know that I can't,
There are other rules, but I think these illustrate the need for a HoH, Husband, partner to not just be an enforcer, but to be accountable to the relationship's standards as well. How does that happen? dig deep, I think of the good of the relationship and when I am wrong I own up to it. I try not to be that guy that can't admit when he is wrong. I won't go into specifics but not very long ago, something came up and I totally screwed up. They say hindsight is 20-20 but I find myself looking back with the knowledge that I must work on my communication and make things right before the sun goes down. We had a long talk about what happened and we both learned a few things that will help
I am not always right, and I love getting June's view. When I make decisions for us, when I discipline her, when we communicate, love is always at the center and the relationship comes before anything else, not my ego, not a inexplicable and incorrect need to be right, not to make myself feel like I'm above her... My motivation for self-accountability is our love.