Monday, August 27, 2012


Hello Guys and Gals,  June and I are getting ready to go on a lovely week long vacation that we have both been looking forward to for months.   We probably won't be posting very much during that period, but promise to do my best  to do the post I promised on  my love/hate of spanking videos.  I look forward to vacation as a time to not only rest and relax but to renew the bonds with my family.

 Vacation is also a wonderful time to renew our bounds and enjoy each other absent the normal stresses of work and day to day life.  It's hard to say how much it excites me to spend some great time with Ms. June. She's such a very good girl and I love her so.  We hope that you guys have enjoy the last days of summer and wish you a happy and healthy early autumn!

There will be plenty of ....



and of course this...

Images via Plector, other images via the web

See you guys soon!

Her POV:
I'm so looking forward to time away with Daddy! And I am looking forward to all of the things he has in store. Certainly lots of time across his lap.... I've accumulated lots of good girl time, huh, Daddy? and certainly picture number 2. And most especially picture number 3 - that just takes my breath away. Mercy - it's getting warm in here - I'm all twitterpated!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Want - VS - Need - VS - Deserve

Daddy and I are both great big honking poster children for spankos. It's something that we need in our lives. But we also have DD as part of our dynamic, and I know some people do not believe that you can correct someone who enjoys being spanked with a spanking. But I'm here to tell you that it works for us. I guess that you would have to consider the three basic kinds of spankings in our relationship. There are the kind I want, the kind we need, and the kind I deserve.


These are those absolutely delicious, slow, long leisurely, intimate spankings that are..... well just really sexy. There is lots of touching, and rubbing, neck kissing, back kissing, delicious whispers of what is yet in store or that shiver-inducing, brain-melting "Mine" in my ear. Good girl spankings - yum! These usually dissolve into some beautiful soul-melding love making. Who doesn't want some of that?


This is a funny one, and you notice I didn't say "I" need, I said "we". Daddy always says "They won't always be the kind of spankings that you like. But they will always be the kind that you need." Sounds rather like Daddy-double-speak, doesn't it? But it's not really. These spankings are long and firm. They likely end in tears, they're designed for emotional release. The very strange thing is, while I may not enjoy them in the process, I enjoy what they bring and I am grateful that we have that.

There are times when I am stressed and like everyone else, I act out, generally by beating myself up - which is against our rules. I'm supposed to stop myself before I say something negative about myself and try to think of something positive instead. There are times I am feeling just a bit distant, for whatever reason, and I need that pulling back.

What about that "we", June? Well, there are the ones that we need, just to reaffirm our roles, to center us and remind us of who we are and what our roles are. And because our relationship is built on reciprocity, there are times when Ward is stressed, and I will offer myself to him. I'm still not sure I can explain what he gets from it, but I know that he does he benefits from it as well, not just how it affects our dynamic and interaction, but from the physical act itself. If he is in a bad place, I can lay across his lap and I know that he will feel release. And because I love him, I try to meet his needs as fully as he does mine, it pleases me to be able to give him that.


Oh good golly, this is the only one I seek to avoid with all my might. That's not saying that I will ever resist him, if I earn it I will accept it. For us, spankings for correction are effective. There is knowing that I have disappointed him, and that is worse than anything that could happen after. And while I don't want to deserve them, if I have done something that is detrimental to our relationship, this is what allows us to clear the air. So maybe correction spankings are really a hybrid deserve/need. If I transgress, I need to surrender to his correction to release the guilt. I think it would not work without a deep emotional connection.

In all of the different types, Daddy is loving and supportive and lets me know that he is proud that I submit myself to him. That makes it easier, I thrive on making him proud.

I think June has done a great job highlighting the different forms of spanking in our relationship. June is such a good, sweet girl that we both usually have the desire and urge to share spanking in many different splendid forms. Her beautiful, sweet nature appeals to me both on a physical and intellectual level, and she makes it very easy for me to want to touch and caress, and yes spank her, on a very regular basis. 

Sometimes what we want is not the same thing as what we need.  We both try to go above and beyond in the facilitation of each other's needs.  As good as it is, life is often quite stressful and I find that lady June is my anchor and my source of inspiration in the midst of a very hectic life. 

Correction is something that does exist in our dynamic, but I would be remiss if I didn't share how wonderfully rare this is for us. She knows that I will always keep our relationship at the top of the list of my priorities, and  when it is called for I think there is something nice about being able to clear the air, learn from our mistakes and grow stronger for it!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Dancing With the One You Love - book review


I've said elsewhere on the blog that I - well both of us are - spiritual, though not necessarily religious. We both have a belief and a deep connection with God, we pray, we pray together. We both believe that we have a responsibility to live with honor and grace. But we're not big church goers.

Which brings me to the idea of biblical submission. The way that biblical submission was presented to me by some people that I worked with, who were fundamentalist Christians, and by the predominant religion when I moved down here, Baptist, it was not something that was appealing. Of course, I had not fully embraced my submissive nature at that point either. Once I had, and once it developed to a fuller expression, with Daddy, the idea of biblical submission still bristled me a little bit. Then I started reading....educating yourself is never a bad thing. 

Guess what? The biblical model of submission is closer to what I feel, and closer to what we have than anything else I have seen. I researched some books, and this is the first of them based on biblical submission that I have finished reading (I have more in the works, as you can see from our GoodReads). 

Cindy Easley raises some great points, that spoke to my particular beliefs, and to conversations that Ward & I have had. She talks of a 'complementarian marriage in which the husband is the leader, the wife the helper, and that although they stand equal, they have specific roles and being faithful to their roles, they empower the other in their role. She further states that if you wanted to bristle at the term 'helper' believing it to be subservient or wish to use the designation to subordinate your partner, God also refers to himself as OUR helper (Ps 30:10, Ps 54:4, Gen 2:18). That puts things in a different light, doesn't it?

She defines submission as a spirit of voluntary cooperation, and I like that a lot. I choose to follow Ward with a cooperative spirit because I trust and respect his leadership. She also has an interesting perspective about why submission works, she writes that God has hardwired our husbands to NEED our respect, and us with the need to be loved. When we willingly submit to their leadership they stand taller, feel prouder, and take the role of leader more seriously. Ward has corroborated this in many places on the blog. He says that my submission makes him want to be a better man (Not, possible, love, you are the very best man I have ever known). 

She speaks of another of my favorite concepts, humility. When we choose to humble ourselves and place ourselves under our husband's authority willingly and cheerfully we receive grace (James 4:6). When we sulk or pout, we are compromising our submission. She notes that most of our popular cultural references portray husbands as buffoons married to beautiful women, giving us no positive images of submission and headship, which she asserts can make maintaining a submissive attitude difficult. I disagree with that last part to a certain extent. I tell our boys, you have to use your own moral compass. I see those bad examples, too, and it doesn't make me think it's okay to disrespect my Ward, it makes me more mindful of how I interact with him. 

She stresses the importance of communication, and that communicating honestly and respectfully is a way to be a blessing to our husbands. Sometimes the dance if submission is difficult because we don't know where our husbands are going. We need to ask them to communicate their vision. Ward and I enjoy wonderful communication, if I don't understand, I ask. If I don't ask and he feels the question, he initiates a discussion. Either way, we don't let misunderstanding stand between us, and the simple act and care of clearing it up strengthens us and our commitment to each other. 

She speaks of Proverbs 31:10, 23. This was a favorite passage for me for a long time, since a friend who was a pastoral counselor applied that passage to me when I was going through a very difficult time. It is not something that I considered with a vanity, but something to which I aspired. The actual passage is "A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds... Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers." This is something else you have seen around our blog, I seek to bring honor to Ward, and to represent him well in our community.

One passage was particularly pertinent to me. It spoke of a Navy wife. And that my attitude toward the Navy could help or hinder Daddy in doing what he is called to do. I support him in anything he does, and I respect and support his decision to serve. He knows this, and also that I long for the day he detaches. But for me to make that the focus of our every conversation about his career inhibits him, and makes him feel conflicted. I have a responsibility to surrender my feelings, and ask him to make the best decisions for our family. 

 I found this overall to be an affirming book, with a lot of pertinent points that would bolster and support any relationship regardless of dynamic.

 I think  Ms. Easly brings up several valid points throughout the course of her book. The concept of humility as it relates to our relationship brings to light my need as the head of the household to remain humble, receptive and supportive.  My June's gift of submission and her attitude towards it have always been a source of pride and honor for me.  She really does go out of her way to please me, but more importantly her honesty and her support have often been the difference when times got hard.  Some of the affirmations of this book bring a unique perspective on the dynamic between a hoh and his lady, I think Ms. Easly uses Bible verses effectively and in a non heavy-handed way. Communication, Clarity, Humility (not humiliation) and a basic desire to want to live for each other is our way of life!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Open Forum

Hello everyone, Me and June would like to extend an invitation to ask your questions and have them answered.  We both love answering questions and would love to here your thoughts.(Can be anything about any part of our dynamic, or how we do things, or how we'd handle a hypothetical ~J)

Oh, and here's a bit of random spanking cheesecake (courtesy of

Saturday, August 18, 2012


I've been thinking - again - told you I was dangerous. In Change, Growth, Trust and Submission I asked, "The only worry that I have - and I ask him all the time - is this too much? Do I lean too much? Is the burden too heavy? Because having to do that, to carry that wears on me. But my man - he thrives on it."

I know that when he is away, when he cannot be here, when I cannot lean, it is daunting. I know that by the end of the day I feel like I've been run over a cheese grater a couple of thousand times, I'm numb and tired. I know there are a lot of us whose spouses travel, myself, Stormy, mouse, Grace, Riley. And as seems to happen so often, there is a vein of thought running through the community, and not necessarily in posts, but in our conversations with each other in the comments.

I need Ward. And it seems that needs grows proportionally with the growth of my submission. All of the bloggers I mentioned above have made similar observations, as well as faerie and Susie. The longer we do TTWD, the more I lean. In a world where it seems women are considered weak when they are dependent, we thrive as we become more dependent. That statement would outrage feminists everywhere.

Like so many of the words that have relevance to submissive women, the word dependent seems to bear a negative meaning. As defined in the dictionary, dependence is a noun meaning:

  1. The state of being dependent, as for support.
  2.  Subordination to someone or something needed or greatly desired.
  3. The state of being determined, influenced, or controlled by something else. 
  4. A compulsive or chronic need; an addiction.
Well that IS kind of bristly, isn't it? I personally dislike the word subordinate. And the rest of those are just not very much better. Ahhh, but wait...

     5. Trust; reliance. (reliance is defined as: The faith, confidence, or trust felt by one who relies)

Well, there we are. That sounds much more like us. I don't depend on Ward because I must. I depend on Ward because I trust him. I depend on Ward because he is honorable. I depend on Ward because I trust him more than anyone on this earth. I trust Ward with my life. I trust Ward with the children I brought into our relationship. I have faith in his leadership.

So, no, I don't feel less because I depend on my man. I feel blessed that I can. I enjoy it. And that seems purely selfish. So my worry, remains, not that I am dependent, but that it will exhaust my Ward, because it is not my aim to take away from him, but to fill him, to support him, to serve him, to love him with all that I am.

June honors me with her trust and faith.  Every day that we are together, we live for each other and her sentiments in this regard reflect that.  She often ask me if it's too much, to which I smile and reassure her that it is in fact not too much at all, and that it is my greatest privilege to be the head of our family. To guide, protect, nurture, love and discipline is my job and she enables me to do this so very well... even when I am away from home for long periods of time. Our dependence on each other is a beautiful piece of our life together and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

More Than Just Words


Every now and then it occurs to me that there is high value in the words that we use to communicate. Sometimes it's finding just the words that bring comfort  or clarity in times of stress.  Sometimes it's taking the time to show someone that you are there for them.  I find that in our relationship, June and I communicate on a fluid and natural level.  I actually am learning for the first time that it's more than okay to open up and share things, even the things that are not easy to talk about.

Like a lot of guys, when there is something on my mind, I'm not exactly forthcoming... I'm sure you know what I mean, sometimes when asked what is on my mind, I give out the classic answers "Stuff"  and "nothing" ... Trouble with all those is besides the obvious, June knows my heart and knows me better even at times than I know myself,  not to mention the fact that it would create an unacceptable double standard.... We don't do distancing, it's just not allowed and I can't ask my June to do something when I am not capable of it myself.  


Sometimes it's more than words though, sometimes it's about our actions. More than thought, our deeds can give our thoughts and words form, substance and in the case of discipline, teeth.  A warm hug, a shoulder to cry on, a firm but loving hand... all of these things can be very powerful tools that not only bring us comfort, but in fact prove our love and dedication to each other. I've tried to reach some of my guy friends (with limited success).  Taking the time to show our love and care for each other is one of the most beautiful ways to reaffirm and strengthen our bond, and I wouldn't miss those opportunities for the world.  Even when actions are difficult, they are worthy of our time and we always grow from them.


 I think of June so often that if I told you how many times a day she crosses my mind, you would probably laugh at me. I take pride in taking care of my lady, my lover, my best friend and my everything, sometimes I try to think of simple things that make her days brighter. I am not always the man I should be for her but I have grown so much with her and love taking care of her and spoiling her as much as I can.  I also will tell you that I am the luckiest man alive.  June takes such very good care of me, she is always there for me when I need her in every way.  She seems to know just what I need and desire and she goes out of her way to please me.  Her body and her mind sing to me and her thoughtfulness is one of the greatest gifts that I have ever received

Our words thoughts and deeds are powerful things, and can make the difference between a regular day and a marvelous one!

 Her POV
Well, it is my turn to be humbled by Daddy's words. Ward is always conscientious, present, supportive and loving.  I am working on releasing the fear. Daddy's kind, gentle, attentive manner pulls me out of that dark place, and his light suffuses those things that weigh heavy. He lightens me. It's not only words, words can be a lie. It is the way in which I know that he thinks of me, what his friends tell me he says about us. It's the things that he does, and the way that he does them, never impatient, always timely, always giving his full attention. Communication is one of the most important thing that we do. And it is not simply the things that we speak, it is the things we do and the way we treat each other, not ony to the other person, but how we present them and our relationship to the world.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

One of the things I struggle with

 Daddy just now had a chance to get a little bloggy, so he caught up on some Wards's POVs for the last couple of posts (I'd still like to see what you might come up with for the ABCs, if you feel so inclined, Daddy-love ). I always enjoy reading what he has to say.

In the post So you feel a little bratty, one sentence in his response jumped off the page - to me, anyway - "...give them the freedom to let go of the fear of uncertainty." Wow... he knows me so completely. Renee Rose's comment to the post Change, growth, trust and submission well, that jumped out at me, too, and especially as this post was starting to form in my mind, she wrote: Beautiful - it is amazing how peaceful surrender can be! Yes, it is, peaceful and wonderful....and a lot of work, sometimes.

If you've been reading for a while, and you read my post How Many of Us you know that I had a childhood, like far too many of us, that did not foster feelings of security or positive self-image. Before Ward I had three long-term relationships (7, 10 and 10 years). Somehow, I ended up supporting all three of those partners, financially, as well as with cooking and cleaning and all of those other things. And all three of those partners, while I was working three or four jobs to keep us going, went in search of other partners.

I've said before, when I first met Ward, I thought that he was attached. I merely intended to compliment his writing. I was surprised to find that he was unpartnered, and that was bittersweet, because I thought there was no way that he would be interested in a relationship. But look at us now! 

It is easy to surrender to my Daddy. I can't express how much I love him, there are no words adequate enough to express the depth of my devotion for him. I wish that I could create one that would express it - I don't think it's possible. To give him what he asks, to anticipate what he needs, so easy, it is effortless, and it fulfills me in ways that even I don't truly understand. 


I do have struggles. The greatest one, is fear... I fear so many things. I fear not being enough most of all. I fear that he will wake up one day and ask, "What in the world was I thinking?" He is this incredible man, and I am just me. He says he wishes those people who crafted my self-concept had to answer to him. He says that Daddies don't leave. He says that I am beautiful. He says I am what he has been searching for. He says that he will teach me to see myself the way that he does. 

This path - it's not a destination. It's a journey. I am at once a very simple woman, and more complicated than even I ever imagined. I have said before that I give up the last little piece that I have been holding back. Sometimes that is laughable - times like this - when I find another layer. Like an onion, sometimes when you peel back a layer, you cry - I am right now. Sometimes that step feels like free-falling off the side of the mountain. 

But I know a couple of things.... I love Ward with a fierce certainty. Ward loves me and somehow, I am what he needs. I could not fail him, somehow I am more than he expects though certainly not more than he deserves, and failing him is not something that I would allow to happen. And he will not allow me to fail myself.

For the first time ever, I believe. I believe Ward. I feel it. I see it. I hear it....really hear it. I taste it. I have been chained for so many years to the belief that I was lacking. And here stands my man, MY Daddy, with the key in one hand, and the chains in a pile on the floor, his other hand extended - offering me the freedom to let go of my uncertainty - to let go of my fear, to surrender yet again. And all I have to do is take his hand and let him lead me away, to accept this immense gift of love. 

Take my hand, Daddy, don't let go. I won't let go.

Once again I am amazed and humbled by the boundless love of this beautiful, amazing woman that I call mine. I know that her childhood definatly left a lot of things to be desired (putting it mildly here) and I know that I cannot undo the past, but I look to the future with open arms and open eyes.  I wouldn't miss a moment for the world and the love I have for my June can only grow. She has struggled with the concept of her own self-image for a while and I can only give her encouragement and lots of love... (she's beautiful folks)  I have undying love for you June, and with faith, patience, love, grace and kindess I have no doubt that you will flourish and thrive.... Yes folks, I do wish that those people had to anwser to me, it's these kinds of people that have done a terrific job of lowering the self esteem of those with true beauty, these people and the media make a Daddy's job that much harder... but then again that much more rewarding.... I love you June, don't doubt it, or  me and my bathbrush will have to convince you... I love you my sweet darling.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Change, growth, trust and submission

I don't exactly know what to call this post. It comes as a rumination after talking to my therapist. We have had a therapeutic relationship for longer than Daddy and I have been us. She has said before that she didn't see me as submissive. Which kind of surprised me. I am no different than I have ever been, and I have always desired to be who I am in this moment. The difference? Ward. Without Ward I have no one worthy to receive or to accept my submission.

I have always been who I am at my core, and I have always been unhappy. I have always been the one that had to take care of everyone, to gather all the edges and not let anything spill. And let me tell you, it is exhausting. I'm not made to thrive on that kind of thing. I did it because I had to. I did it because my need to serve meant that I had to do that which was necessary when the other person did not. I am logical and efficient and effective ..... and I don't love it. I am meant to nurture, to cultivate... to serve.

In the course of our weekly conversations, I have talked about my need to understand. I want to know why you want me to do things. And if you work for me, I will make sure you understand the why as well, it makes you feel invested. I want to know the details. I dislike uncertainty and surprises. I want to know what you know. Knowing helps me be prepared for any contingency. This is what she knows about me.

This past week we talked about some things going on in Ward's career path that affect our family. She asked, "Do you know..?" No. "When will you know?" I don't know. She sat for a minute and said doesn't this bother you? You're the one who has to know everything. I thought for a minute too, and I smiled. Nope, doesn't bother me, when he knows I'll know. She said, "This is so unlike the you I know."

So I thought about it - you know me - that's what I do - "Why did this not bother me? Why was I not a neurotic bundle of nerves?" And the answer is simply that I trust him. He is my HoH, he is my leader. He will ask my opinion before he makes a decision. He will shoulder the greater part of the burden. He will take care of us - of me. I have never, ever in my life been able to trust another human being to that extent. That realization made me smile.

Then I wondered - because when I'm not thinking, I'm wondering - what if he thinks that my not asking means that I am uninterested or that I don't care? So I asked him. Does it bother you that I don't ask you tons of questions about things? I mean it to show that I trust you, and not that it doesn't matter. He said that he loves knowing that he has my confidence and that I trust his judgement. And I do. And then it occurred to me, that maybe that's part of my submission to him, too.

It is many things, and hence the confusion with the name for this post. I have changed, and it is growth, because I freely and with great embarrassment admit that I was an anal, neurotic mess. And it signifies the trust that I have in my Ward. And it is one more thing that I give over to him. The only worry that I have - and I ask him all the time - is this too much? Do I lean too much? Is the burden too heavy? Because having to do that, to carry that wears on me. But my man - he thrives on it.

I see us sometimes like a tree. We - tall and straight and strong. He - slightly rugged (yum!), dug deep into the earth, stretching far above and providing shelter. I - the earth into which he plants his roots, that feeds him and helps to support our family, and his roots hold us together. We are intertwined in so many ways. We would be so much less alone, together we are a thing of beauty.
I love you, Daddy.

My dearest June, your faith, affection and love mean so much more to me than I can express here. Your love and confidence in me and us staggers and delights me so... you have grown so much and have made me a stronger man... and to that I can only say thank you... I Love you Babygirl!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The ABCs of TTWD - (I accept the challenge)

Okay, I accept Stormy's challenge. An ABC word association for TTWD. Maybe Daddy will put up his list later today :) That could be interesting!

A = Acceptance

B = Blessed

C = Courage

D = Discipline

E = Emotion

F = Faith

G = Growth

H = Honor

I = Integrity

J = Just

K = Kink

L = Love

M = Mindful

N = Nurture


P = Passion

Q = Quality

R = Respect

S = Submission

T = Transcendant

U - Unity

V = Vulnerability

W = Warmth

X = Xenodochial

Y = Yield

Z = Zenith

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Wow! Who knew!


So you feel a little bratty?

I've been thinking a lot lately, not always safe, just ask Daddy - I sometimes think way too much. But this thinking has not been bad thinking....this thinking as been pondering/figuring stuff out thinking.

What am I pondering about? Why I'm not bratty. You've seen my Daddy say a number of times that I'm a good girl. That makes me proud because I like making him proud. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely no Mary Sunshine here. I feel plenty strident sometimes. So I started paying attention to my thought process.

This is no secret to him, when I'm aware, or become aware, I tell him....I tell him everything, we are totally transparent with each other. Sometimes something will upset me, something that happened, or something that was said, maybe I'm unsure or reticent about something he requests. Most of the time I ask him if we can talk about it.

When I don't he always asks what's wrong. He hears it, smells it, sees it, feels it. There are times I say "Umm, don't wanna say it." And he says, "No, I'm listening, lovey, I need to hear it." I'll say, "Nope, it's not very submissive." He coaxes, "Go on." And I tell him, "That made me feel...," and he says "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Well sometimes it seems that way to me.

It's sometimes hard to reveal those things I may be thinking. That means putting myself out there, doesn't it? But I have honestly never had a partner who was so concerned with my fulfillment, with my happiness, my enjoyment, my safety - my over-all well-being. He listens to everything. He coaxes out the things I may be reluctant to say because I think it's frivolous, or unsubmissive or unseemly. He thinks it's all important. He takes it all into consideration, and he does make the decisions that serves our family best.

There are times when I don't feel especially happy about something. And I might feel pouty or feel something....unsubmissive, that wants to come out of my mouth. But I have this little internal dialogue that runs.

Well I don't want to...
But he's Daddy...
But I'd rather.....
It's what he/we/you need, he's not arbitrary....
No he's not, but I'll be sad....
You'll be sad for a little while, but in the end he will work it out for the best resolution, he always does. He's the big picture man. What is the real issue here? Why do you want to resist him?
"Yes, Daddy" and sometimes I DO say, "Yes, Daddy, I don't want to, but I'll be a good girl." And guess what? The smile that has a million rays of the sun, and the kiss on the pout and the voice that thaws me out in an instant, whispering "Good girl." make it all worth it till the good things happen.

So what I figured out from my thinking is that we all have the potential to be bratty, it's whether we just let it all fly or we let it run through our filters first. Why bother? Because I love him, because I respect him. Even if we were a straight up 'nilla couple I would think that would be the foundation of any relationship. In our relationship? Well he is my HoH, he is my Dominant, he is my Daddy. He has this right - the duty - to make the decisions for us as a couple and as a family. It's my duty to follow with grace. For this good man, that is the path I choose.


To truly love someone is to understand them, to guide them, to nurture them, discipline them and give them the freedom to let go of the fear of uncertainty. I try my best to be there for my June,  we share a communication and understanding that allows me to know and share the kind of deep connection that we both need and desire.  Even when the tough decisions come, I know I have her support even if she doesn't like the direction we need to go in for the good of our family and relationship... I'm a lucky lucky man, my June is a very good girl and I won't ever take that for granted.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

What it's like....

I thought I'd spend a little time today talking about what it's like for me....

To be:

- June's Daddy
- A spanko
- A old fashioned man in a modern time

Being June's Daddy is like no other gift  that I have ever received.  Our hearts and minds are so in tune at times it's almost uncanny.  She is my support system, my inspiration and the warmth and light of comfort at the end of long and wearisome days.   I support her, guide her, give her the support, love, respect, discipline and attention that she needs to thrive in the warmth of our love.

When our relationship began Ms. June and I spent a lot time discussing and comparing notes on life, spanking lifestyles and many other things. As time went on it was very clear that we shared something that is rare, profound and timeless.  Indeed, being her daddy, her man, her best friend has brought out the best in me and made me a better man

Being a spanko is like....  A cold drink on a hot day, soft music, making love on a rainy day, dancing beneath a full moon... it's amazing...

It has also come to our attention that perhaps we aren't like some DD couples. In addition to using spanking for discipline and correction (June really is a very good girl) [Thank you, Daddy :)]  We also love spanking for any of a bunch of other reasons.  In addition to being a great stress reliever,  it hones our libidos, and generally connects us at a very close and special level.  I think it's also advantageous for us on a one to one basis because both of us are true blue spankos and came this way, nobody got converted so to speak, it was 100% natural and that's how we love it.

Being Old Fashioned is a bit like:

Being a gentleman.  I try to carry myself like a gentleman, just how my mother and father raised me.  It kind of stands out in stark contrast to what the media portrays as the quintessential modern man - you know the clueless buffoon that is more childish than his children... I try to be a man that Ms. June can be proud of... She deserves the best I can give her and I try to carry myself that way. 

It's a beautiful thing to share this relationship...this life with a wonderful lady like mine.  I bid you all a great weekend!

Her POV:

We talked endlessly, and easily, and openly, like I have never talked with anyone else before. And it was unassuming. We had no expectations. Ward had a little trick that served as both a conversation starter and a deflection technique, lol - "random question", but it helped us to learn all manner of things about each other.

He is charming and very much old-fashioned and courtly. He is a breath of fresh air. He possess a strength of character that is quite uncommon, and extraordinarily attractive. He is absolutely magnetic.

I have always, because of my life till Ward, been cards to my chest, but he reads me well, things that I think I conceal and no one has ever understood, he sees and understands and responds in ways that make me open and fold myself into him.

I am indeed proud of my man. I am proud of who he is. I am proud to belong to him. I am proud of who we are together. I am proud of the kind of family we are building for our children. He is yummy :)

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Spanking and humiliation

I see a lot on a lot of different blogs about feelings of humiliation from being spanked. The only ones who have said they don't feel humiliated were Kitty and Conina and faerie (thank you, Conina:) ). I wonder how much of that has to do with their particular dynamics, which are more on the kinky side, than the DD side, and in fact they don't have a discipline dynamic.

Daddy and I do have discipline as part of our dynamic. As I said in a previous post, we're a little bit of this and a little bit of that. We are spankos, through and through. We enjoy spanking for fun. But we also use it for discipline (stress relief, role reinforcement, testing submission). And when necessary, yes, for correction.

Let's talk about what humiliation is. By definition: hu·mil·i·ate (hy -m l - t ). tr.v.  To lower the pride, dignity, or self-respect of. Daddy and I do not enjoy humiliation/objectification in any form. It is not Daddy's aim to undermine my self-image, or my concept of my place in our relationship. I am his. He supports me, guides me, holds me in his hands, elevates me and teaches me to love myself.

With spanking for play. it's all about the good pain. It's all about that intoxicating feeling of control, of being in the palm of his hand, of being breathless and floaty and exquisitely happy. It is a feeling of complete and utter joy.

When it's for discipline, all of those same things, and add the emotional release that comes from complete and total surrender, from putting my needs in his hands and knowing that he will make everything alright. It is about him taking those feelings of inadequacy and fear and stripping them away, leaving me raw, and planting the seeds...I am his. He loves me. It is a feeling of release, relief, and renewal.

When it is for correction, I guess that is where it could well be humiliating. I guess this is the part of our dynamic that is closest to the DD dynamic. I have seen it written that it is humiliating to feel like a child. But he is my Dominant, my leader, my Daddy. it is his right - his duty really - to enforce the rules of our partnership. I have surrendered this to him, and in so doing I acknowledge his right. I am not going to say that it is not humbling, it is, but not humiliating. Perhaps this is the way that Ward handles correction.

We talk about nothing, just feel our connection. I get to see that no matter what I may have done, he still loves me. Then we discuss what went wrong and how we are going to go about clearing the air and restoring equilibrium. He doesn't denigrate me. He tells me that I'm still his good girl, just my actions were bad, but we're taking care of it. He tells me he is proud of me for accepting the correction. When it's over, it's over. We move past it, with a clean slate. He is extra nurturing. It is transformative in a positive way. I am never diminished. It is a feeling of releasing guilt, absolution, cleansing.

In all parts of our dynamic spanking is a feeling of deep connection and trust, it is a reaffirmation of our commitment each to the other. In all parts of our dynamic, I am honored to be his, and pleased that he leads and allows me to express my submission to him in the many forms that our flavor allows. I'm one lucky girl.


I am truley and magnificently blessed to call  Ms. June my own, and I would echo much of what she has said.  I try to be a uplifting influence in her life and I would never...ever try to reduce her or humiliate her... June is my greatest blessing in life and to see  her shine brightest I would use my life and energies to see her elevated to happiness and true satisfaction.  Through Love, Discipline, and erotic intrigue, humiliation has no place for us, dedication, patience, love, and kindness are what we delight in!