Happy Birthday, Daddy!

  

On this day. I find myself reflective. That should be the other way around, I imagine, and perhaps it is reflective for you, too. 

On this day. I give thanks, thanks to the God who perhaps knew that there was unmet need, or who knew that I needed a hero. I give thanks that he took so many good, pure, wholesome, loving, compassionate characteristics and placed them in your heart. 

I give thanks to the woman who loved a man so much that she expressed her love in the creation of a life. I give thanks that she nurtured and nourished you, heart, mind, body and soul from the moment that God breathed you into her body.

I give thanks that for the first time in my life I am seen, really seen; that I am loved richly without restraint or condition. I give thanks that I see things about myself that are good, because you see them, because you know me better than I know myself, because you care to give me the gift of clear sight. I give thanks, on my knees, with tears in my eyes for the greatest gift I have ever known... the gift of a man, tall, strong, gentle, firm, honorable, loving and compassionate.

Every time I look at you and with your every look; with your every touch; with your every smile; with every deep and melodic laugh; with every word that flows like deep, rich honey from your lips; with your breath soft upon my hair; every time I breath in the scent of you; with the strength of your arms enfolding me - I am grateful, humbled, surrendered, owned.....and so very happy.

You spoke and said "If I could be your hero...", silly man, you already are my hero. You are every shining, bright thing that is right with my world. I am blessed. I love you with my all. 

Happy Birthday, my darling love. 

Strength and Softness and Balance

                                                 

 Strength... The word has defined my life.  I understand it deeper all the time, and I respect it's something that I have had to have all of the days of my life.  When I was a child, I never measured up to the expecations of it... And now sometimes I have to learn that their are other things in life that mean so much more than mere strength.  I'm 6'4 275lbs and I am strong... sometimes, I let my youngest hang off of my arm and enjoy that expression of wonder and brightness that only exists in the very young. Still, next to mental, emotional, and spiritual strength, my physical strength is nothing. There are things I don't like to talk about, and I promise that I won't get into here, but I have definitely seen more than my share of hard times throughout my life. The battles of the heart and mind are the toughest for me and that seems to have been the case since I was young. Still sometimes I must remind myself that at times there are no easy answers and there are no shortcuts  when it comes to dealing with the minds and hearts of the ones that I hold dear, the ones that look to me for answers.

                                                                      

 Sometimes the physical expression of my strength comes in handy and in fact is quite useful.  I am a good one to know when there is moving to be done, I'm deceptively athletic and am often able to parlay these physical skills into completing work and work related task quicker and more efficiently. I am prouder still of the mental and  emotional strength that I am able to provide my family with. Our boys have special needs  and many times they need a stable, male influence that provides  mentorship, confidence, and a voice of experience. I know that they haven't always had that, and it thrills me when I am able to help them see the actualization of their own potential.  More than strength alone, I have also realized that somtimes, more than just goal oriented focus and a direct, stern approach, they also need my unconditional acceptance, patience, and wisdom.  As I pondered these things, It became abundantly clear that these concepts can and should be easily applied to a DD/TTWD relationship. 

                                                   

 Throughout our relationship, I have learned and discovered that sometimes my initial thoughts on a subject or experience often require a second look... We both put a lot of work into this relationship, and I am one HoH who is ready to admit that he cares enough to be worried about the message that he sends his Wife.  Sometimes I don't always communicate well... and while I'm not proud of the way that I've handled everything, I generally feel that we do a good job of giving each other the respect, honor and attention that we as individuals deserve, but also as a couple... Sometimes a direct, logic-oriented approach just isn't the answer. Sometimes we get the most mileage and growth by making ourselves emotionally available to each other when we are at our most vulnerable.  Our life is often hectic, loud, noisy, and full of interesting little twists and turns that often leave us frazzled... it goes without saying that a frazzled husband or wife does not make for a smooth relationship environment.  Thus, it behooves me, the HoH, to be mindful of his words and deeds and balanced in his approach to his relationship.

                     

                                                     

Sometimes being my June's soft landing place, her shoulder to cry on and her ear to listen when things aren't easy is a something that I am proud to be able to give her.  Balancing strength, discipline, love, and  reciprocity yields big benefits, and while I don't always get everything right... She loves me enough to let me learn, let me grow, and do the same for me when I need it... I really don't want to think about where I would be if it weren't for June.. Even when I am not at my best she shows me that she loves me, she doesn't just tell me, she shows that she has faith in me... faith in us and in turn, this gives me the kind of confidence that a HoH requires in order to be effective... I am blessed and thankful to be able to count on my June for love, support and understanding and I hope that she can say the same of me. 

                                                               

Finding the balance between strength and softness and recognizing these same qualities within each other is a very helpful tool when we are finding each other through stress and day to day life. It gives us a guide in the difficult times and highlights and accentuates the good times.  We hope that you all have an opportunity to see what Balancing strength and softness can do for your relationship... You won't be disappointed.


Her POV:

Have I mentioned how very much I like it when Daddy calls me 'his June'? How very warm and like an enchanted princess it makes me feel?...

I have never had any one I could depend on I was always the one who had to be strong for everyone. And it wore me out. I wonder sometimes that Daddy can continue to exhibit that strength of heart and of character I worry that it will wear on him as well. But he seems to thrive on it. And it is so lovely to be able to sink into him.

I know that we have very high and exacting standards for our relationship, but in all reality I think Daddy is too hard on himself regarding how he communicates. I have never had anyone who cares so deeply about hearing my concerns and communicating well.

And in those times when it is hard, when I shut down, and he pulls it out of me, and I'm sure he will run for the hills, he never does. He uses that strength to pull out those things from my heart, and then he holds me up when I am sure I cannot go another step.

I do have faith in my Daddy and slowly he's teaching me to have faith in myself. I am proud of my Daddy, and what he brings to our family. I am proud of how well we communicate, I am proud of this man who has been along so long, and never exposed to children, let alone sometimes difficult children, and a definitely difficult woman, can hold us up and steer us in the right direction as a productive, cohesive unit that moves with grace and unity.

Worries, Dreams and Ideas

  Sometimes life inspires me.  Not always in ways that I would expect or seek.. and in that there is a certain kind of magic.  Of course there are the things that never fail to inspire or amaze, but sometimes the world around us, our children,  June, or just a pretty song can bring me clarity in the midst of an admittedly stressful life.  Our lifestyle aside, we are like a lot of working class American families and in today's world there is a lot a man has to consider.

I try to be thankful for the things that we have and not take for granted the small comforts and blessings that modern life affords. I try to remember that my family has indeed been blessed and we are light years ahead of where we were last year at this time.  Still even considering our numerous blessings, and how far we have come as a family and as a couple... Sometimes I worry that I don't quite measure up as a father.... (Yes, HoHs can have insecurities)  June has often reassured that I generally do a good job as father and husband,  but sometimes I guess that's just it, I want to give my family the best of everything, I know that that's perhaps not the most logical or even pragmatic view,  but in light of the recent tragedies and it being the holiday season, family has become even more important than ever.

 June and I have both often talked about our childhood experiences and we both agree that we want to give our children a better experience than either of us had. We try to give the kids the kind of positive environment that encourages and inspires growth and communication.

"Children have the right to dream, what will they become?  Where will they grow?  Will they know peace and satisfaction? When a child becomes an adult they learn what they where able to become and no matter how they wish they can no longer claim childhood innocence... No matter what let it be said that children have the right to dream." ~ BTL


We have also talked about our own future and many a lights-out conversation has included sharing our own romantic vision of life after the military, life after finishing school and of course the daunting task of relocating to new quarters.  We won't share all of our ideas but the discussions have in fact illuminated several interesting ideas and possibilities. This kind of soft, intimate conversation is something that I never had even in previous relationships and I never grow tired of it. The quiet hours when we share, communicate and inspire each other are a vital element of our interpretation of TTWD and D/s.

 Normally in my post I share a theme or idea with you, and I guess this post is not so very different. I would encourage you all to find or make a special time of day for you to share your worries, dreams and ideas.  Who knows what you might discover or learn.  Much of what I have learned and shared with June has come from this very special time of day. There is a wonderful warmth that comes from observing the beauty of her inspiration and the sparkle of her eyes when a new and wonderful idea illuminates her mind and lights the wick of her imagination.

Her POV: 

I don't think that Ward understands how simple are my needs, or the needs of our children. Tonight, we were all in the kitchen, making cookies, Daddy participating, sitting at the table with the boys, forming and decorating cookies, me hands in cookie dough, mixing...and weeping. I brought a tray to the table and wrapped my sticky arms around him and kissed him, and thanked him for giving me what I always wanted. Who could want more than that single, gorgeous, poignant moment of family togetherness.

In the living room, the boys playing video games with him, while I made the pizza for dinner, and once I popped it in the oven, came to join them till the buzzer rang. The youngest came and hugged me and said "Thanks for choosing him, mom. I love him, and I'm glad he's here with us." How much more perfect? He worries that he does... who knows what kind of magic...but he has performed the greatest of magics in healing three hearts, in giving us what we never thought we would have... someone to love us like that.

I love that time of night, it's the time that is just ours, no phone calls,no door bells, no  TV, no raucous laughter and play from the boys and their friends. Just he and I, touching, talking, kissing - yum - then spooning, his arm tight around me, our fingers intertwined. The dark can give that extra bit of courage for the difficult subjects. But it always ends well and sweetly, closer for the moment, the touch, the tenderness, the time we devote to being us.

Long before I knew him, I loved the idea of him. Now, he's here, and I love him with the fullness of my being, in a way that words can never express. I always will. 

Family and the Holidays...

 

                                              

Sometimes it's the first rays of the sun shining on her face.  Somtimes it's the raucous sound of laughter and the shuffle of little feet upstairs.  Somtimes it's the peaceful realization that  everything that the media would espouse as great or neccessary is so much less than the media would have me believe.  Traditionally, the holiday season has been rather difficult for me.  Even if I wasn't deployed, or in a strange part of the world, I have worked during Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and Valentines day way more times than I'd like to admit. The Lord has shown me his grace and mercy through it all and has given me the greatest blessing a man could ever ask for.

                                                          

Having said all that. I am extremly excited for the chance to be spend the holidays with the family.  Christmas carols, lucious food, tossing around the ol' pigskin and snuggling up on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn.  I guess it sounds kind of corny, but the later months of the year really are my favorite  time of the year.   Gratuitous amounts of comfort food,  pick up basketball games, the apex  of college football.... The chill of the rainy nights are all part of the beauty that comes with late Autumn/early Winter.

                                                                        

 

 

                                                           

                                                                            

 Some people think it is cheesy and I'm not saying that they are wrong, but one of my favorite parts of    the holiday season  is of course Christmas music!  I love the festive sound, and the warmth that many of these old songs bring.   Being military I think my favorite is "I'll be home for christmas"  (Cliche I know) These songs often portray the unstoppable ideas of love and family and that is somthing that endures in our house regardless of the time of year or material possessions.  The festive atmosphere, the decorations, the lights, and of course the warmth of  true love and sacrifice put a big ol' smile on my face just about every day of the week.

                                                            




I'd love to take this opportunity to invite you to come inside, take off your coat and shoes, get comfy and share with us your favorite holiday traditions. What are your favorite holiday memories? What are you favorite holiday songs?  Enjoy a heaping bowl of comfort and share with us your favorite part of the holidays.  I know it's kind of early, but from us to you,  A big ol' happy holidays from Ward and June!!!

                                            

                                                                 

Her POV
Céad míle fáilte romhat!
Mmmm - favorite Christmas Carol?

This is both my favorite carol, and my favorite version (yes all things Irish - Nollaig shona duit!). 

I agree wholeheartedly with Ward. The things that I prize.. having him here with us this holiday. Having the kids run in to tell us Santa has come, and hopping into the bed with us to open stockings. One of our traditions, when they have finally fallen asleep, and all the gifts are under the tree, sneaking into their room and leaving their stockings at the foot of the beds...so they see on opening their eyes that Santa has been there. It's great fun for us, lying in bed, listening to the excited voices exclaiming over bubbles and chapstick, 'fancy pencils', erasers, candy and other little baubles, before they are ready for the main event. 

After the whirlwind of paper and excited voices, cuddling with him on the sofa, over a cup of chai, and watching them settle into a rhythm, where they can really begin to appreciate the bounty. Then sharing a late brunch, and relaxing together, putting together some of the things, playing with others, breaking into one of the board games. All of us together...in the same room...this is heaven. This is the thing I have prayed for, and I thank God for blessings given. 

What will be my greatest gift this year? To wake to the sound of the boys voices, and to feel Ward's heat at my back, to hear his breathing as he drifts up out of sleep, to feel his arm drape over my body and pull me close, and whisper against my neck - Merry Christmas, little one....Heaven! 

I wish all of you your greatest desire come true. I wish you hope, joy,  love and abundant blessings. 

 
 Nollaig shona duit. Athbhliain faoi mhaise duit. Sláinte chugat agus bail ó Dhia ort 
 Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Health to you and the blessings of God on you.