Thursday, June 28, 2012

The gift of dominance

Kitty and I just had this discussion - we chroniclers of life see things and they tick in our brain, and get our thoughts flowing. And that makes it seem like things run in cycles in blogland. Riley recently wrote a post called Dominance is a Gift, too, too (Thanks, Conina!), which got me thinking. We often hear submission is a gift, and indeed it is. But so is Dominance. I luxuriate in his control.It's not one sided. Both give, both receive. It is reciprocity, I talk about it in Honor, and lil talks about it in her beautiful post on Expressions of Dominance.

In any event, I was having a discussion with a DD friend today. And this exchange occurred:
Friend: Awww. Just as I suspected.Your entire emotional well-being and sense of self derive from him?
Me:  my happiness, not my complete well-being  - my sense of self is confirmed in him, he accepts my whole self
Friend: He is truly your soul then.
Me: he is, I cannot be who I am without his acceptance 

Friend: Did you live before him? Or was it like God breathing life into Adam?
Me: I existed before him. Yes, absolutely, he animated me





So the two events conspired to create this post. Yes, I could not be who I am without his accepting my submission. And perhaps my expression of submission allows him to express his dominance in more complete ways. Either way...he has often thanks me for the gift of my submission, and I do not believe that I have thanked him for his gift of dominance.



So to my well-loved Daddy I say...



I have thanked you for loving me, and I always will, every second of every day, for the rest of our lives and beyond. No one – NO ONE – has ever loved me in the way that you do. No one has ever loved me unconditionally. There have been ‘I love you….but’s ...always a reason I was unworthy of being completely loved. It’s not that I don’t trust you, I trust you with my life. I am just so not used to NOT hearing the but. I keep waiting; it never comes. That astounds me. And it takes a little while to stop waiting, but I’m working on it. 



I have not thanked you for your gift of Dominance, for that sure, safe feeling, for that refuge in your arms that comes from your strength, from the sheer force of your presence. Without that gift, I would not be free to express my submission. I would not be free to be who I am at my very core. I blossom, I feel my leaves unfurl in my heart and burst forth with a vibrancy I never thought I would experience. 



I thrive under your hand and with your love, your guidance, and your discipline. I am filled with your strength, your warmth, your nurturing and your light – my goodness – you are a brilliant soul. I am grateful. I am joyous. I am proud to be called yours. 

Thank you for your gift to me, which allows me to express my true self, and to thrive and grow. Thank you for accepting who I am and what I have to offer. 







16 comments:

  1. What a lovely letter to Ward. I don't remember that post - although it does seem to tickle my brain. Maybe someone will link it for us. :)

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    1. Conina got it:) I went through my feeds again & again & couldn't find it. Thanks, Kitty. It's different, I think we all know what we have - unlike the old saying - you don't know what you have till it's gone. I fully know what I have, but Lord, I never realized how hard it would be to live without it!

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    2. Conina does have a mind like a steel trap - I always read things and then forget when and where I read them (although not usually the what). Of course, I have been known to get 2/3 of the way through a book and realize, "Oh, I've read this author before." and then at the 90% mark, I'll be like, "Oh, I've read THIS book before." Doh!

      I just tell H that it means I will never get sick of his stories. LOL.

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    3. LOL - I've done that before, Kitty. Very frustrating. Get to the plot twist and think.....dang this is familiar - then realize you've read it before and it's such a let-down!

      But that's just love, Kitty! I could listen to Daddy's stories over and over and over.

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  2. Your letter to Ward is lovely. Your words are beautiful.

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    1. Thanks very kindly, Kat. He is my heart.

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    1. It took years for me to stop waiting for my husband to realize he could do better elsewhere. Years. We'd been married at least three before I was like "Hey, wait, he really, really loves me. He's mine."

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    2. Thanks, Conina! I am properly edited!

      I said that to Ward - you're MINE! And then ... am I allowed to say that? And I got the warmest smile that inflated me like a Jiffy Pop tin, a chuckle, a warm hug & a forehead kiss...YUM! And yes - I'm allowed ..... and I LIKE it :D

      I don't wait every waking moment like I used to for the shoe - it's a more rare occurrence now. I can't wait till I am saying....what shoe?

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    3. I wish I could "like" your comment. It made me smile, the Jiffy Pop image especially. :)

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  4. Thank you for this perspective. As much as I know my submission brings Daddy-D joy, it brings me joy that he is dominant. I am thankful that he is willing to take on the more work intensive portion of this relationship!

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    1. Oh I feel like that, too, salena. I know that I get so much out of it, and it's hard for me to understand how I feed him. We'll have to get his deeper perspective when he comes back. But he assures me that my submission, in his words, 'makes me stand as a Titan among men'. I rather like being able to do that for him, even when I'm sure, as you said, he is doing the lion's share of the work.

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  5. That was very sweet June! :)

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  6. This is breathtakingly lovely. Your Daddy and you complement each other so beautifully. It's a perfect circle of grace and gratitude. Ward honors your submission through the blessing of his dominance and you honor his dominance through the gift of your submission.
    PS I wish I knew that DD friend of yours. She seems interesting.

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    1. Thanks:) Yes, it is a lovely reciprocal symbiosis. It is a cycle, no one diminished, each of us full. Yes he honors me every bit as much as I honor him, and that is amazing and exhilarating.

      Mmmmhmm - deed she is.

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