Friday, April 6, 2012

Correction and Gratitude

Here is a subject that makes me squirmy, and I don't like to talk about, and I don't like to receive, and immediately puts
me in little-space (can we have the 'Doom' song please?)
...correction. And I only bring it up because Daddy has made several posts on spankings, and we kind of just brushed over this aspect.

Daddy does not like the term punishment, it has a negative connotation, it is about retribution rather than transformation. It implies resentment and distance. Daddy prefers the term correction. Correction implies putting something back on the right course, to wipe clean the slate and start fresh. It means that Daddy does not collect resentment stamps about my mistakes, and I don't collect resentment stamps that he delivered on his responsibility in a consistent and diligent manner.

Some people assume that if spanking is used in other ways in the relationship, or the submissive enjoys being spanked that it cannot be used effectively as correction. And again, this is what works for us, every dynamic is different, your mileage may vary. Spanking as a form of correction works for us quite effectively. When Daddy sits me on his lap and says he thinks we need to talk about _____ (fill in the blank), I feel incredibly contrite, and I am acutely aware of how my actions have affected our relationship. The fact that my behavior has disappointed him is nearly crushing. The spanking will be harder, faster, longer and more painful. It will not be fun. It will not be something I want to do again (not the thing that brought on the spanking, nor certainly not the spanking).

So now everyone is saying, okay, so where and HOW does gratitude come in? Daddy loves me enough to pull me back from destructive behaviors. He loves me enough to give me what I need. He loves me enough to drive the change, even when it is difficult for him (and correction IS difficult for the D-type). He values our relationship enough to keep us on the course we have set. He loves me enough to offer forgiveness, and show me how to forgive myself. He values us enough to pull us back from distance to reconciliation.

Even though it is unpleasant to experience, it has to be acknowledged that correction is given with the intent of regaining and maintaining closeness, and of deepening the relationship. Correction is meant to break down walls and resistance and move us towards forgiveness, a deeper trust  and better communication.


  1. my Daddy and i are the same soon as i know i have done something that has disappointed Him in any is as if my insides break, and the feeling is just horrible...i think that feeling is worse than the actual spanking as a "correction". ;)

  2. I agree, knowing that I have disappointed him, or been less than he deserves, - and that's a good way to phrase it - it breaks me, because all I really want to do is make him proud of me.


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