Wednesday, April 25, 2012

UGH - this is Daddy's job!

Okay, so, Daddy knows I am afraid of spiders. And he has undertaken as part of his responsibility, to be chief spider slayer (well relocater - I don't kill 'em, but I don't want 'em in the house either). But of course Daddy is deployed (kicks the Navy).

I go out to put my daily letter in the mailbox before the mail person gets there. I have siding, so the mail box does not sit flush to the house. There is a space, and where the panels overlap, a fairly large gap. And I'm jiggling the lid to sit my letter so the mail person sees it (like they don't know by now there will be one or more letter to Daddy going out daily), and a movement catches my eye. I look closer & what do I see between the back of the mailbox & the siding?

Oh CRUD! Y'all Southern girls know what's comin', dontcha?

Then I see him - UGH - a forest wood spider! And these things are no little spider, or cute wispy little Daddy long-legs, all frail, little hair-like legs and a candy dot of a body, 2 inches off the ground. Noooooooooooooo, these things are HUGE HONKIN' SPIDERS - they are the MACK TRUCKS of spiders. And no - you do not need a close up lens to see those beady little eyes. They were glittering back at me!


Now, for those of you who have never seen one, and think I'm exaggerating, let me give you an idea of the relative size of this huge icky creature trying to keep me from my mail.

 I want my Daddy!

But I will put on my big girl panties, and get my bottle of Windex and assume a defensive posture on mail recognizance until my vanquisher of spiders comes home. I will not be deterred. *thumbs nose defiantly - then shudders*

8 comments:

  1. Ugh!!! I hate spiders. Windex ought to take care of the creepy thing. Good Luck :)

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    1. I know - right? I all for live and let live & all - but - hello?! You are a FOREST wood spider! Wonder if there is a Spider Wrangler listing in the phone book? Wonder if this qualifies as an emergency for Daddy to get leave to come home? Hmmmmmm

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  2. First off, my skin is crawling. Thanks. Lol.

    Second, I hate, hate, hate spiders. My guys (Monster & the boys) thinks it hilarious. I am the girl that will scream in the shower and almost break my legs getting out to get away. I swear they have a conspiracy network for the sole purpose of stalking me.

    Good luck with the windex. For you are a much braver soul than I.

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    1. I sorry :-P Wanna come & help me fend him off? Gosh I hate them! & he's HUGE. I'm the same - mice I can stand - I cannot stand creepy crawlies. I'm hoping the Windex will keep him at bay long enough to snake my hand in real quick & get the mail & pop my outgoing letter to him (...Daddy not the spider...) in the lid. He's big enough to need a name. And if Daddy ddoesn't hurry home he may eat the whole front of the house!

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  3. Replies
    1. I know! Isn't he scary? Think is as big as some tarantulas - blech!

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  4. I couldn't even look at the pictures in this post. Totally.Freaks.Me.Out.!!!! Best thing we ever did was get a cat. If we find a spider or any creepy thing that moves, the cat will pounce. I very rarely see them in the house any more.

    It can't be fun to have one more reminder that Ward is gone. :( I'm sorry!

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    1. You know....I have cats - they are indoors though (killed a stink bug last night, my great hunters). But We feed the stray around here, they should earn their keep! But actually the mailbox is on the stoop, and about 5 feet off the stoop. They come on the deck, but only the bravest of them ventures onto the front stoop. So they haven't seen it probably. And if they made a jump for it - dang! those things are fast!

      Thanks - yes it definitely got a whine and an 'I want my Daddy!'

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