Monday, April 23, 2012

Examining Submission Journaling Exercise - Day 6

What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

I think that I developed a lot of my submissive characteristics as a survival mechanism during my childhood. But I also think that there is a component that is hardwired. I have had an interest in aspects since I was very young, and was researching things with the limited resources available.

I don't necessarily think of it as a relationship management tool. It's not something that came with the relationship, it preceded the relationship. Daddy's naturally, gently Dominant nature is what drew me to him. It oozes off of him, thick and sticky and deliciously enticing. It is, to borrow a line from Twilight "exactly my brand of heroine". And I have learned that my submissive nature was equally enticing to him. We just kind of fit, not a click, but a gentle filling of all the holes and gaps. It is organic and amoebic, it flows and shifts, and encompasses. He consumes me and I consume him. We feed each other in some very fundamental ways. It is just our natures.

What we would consider as relationship management tools, are the gentle stretching, discipline and correction, and all the yummy play. Those are the things that manage flux, and help to enforce, enrich and nurture our roles and our relationship.


  1. Haha, love the twilight quote. ;)

    I am not looking forward to answering this one. I can see how it would be kind of developed as a survival mechaism in childhood. I can honestly say I have never looked to closely between the connection of childhood and submission. You did beautifully on this. :)

  2. Tanks :) I did a lot of research about it when I first started exploring - cause......well you know me - I am a terrible over-thinker :"> But there are some good articles - and they're even by professionals :-P

    "Something very common in the backgrounds of submissive women is a history of having, or feeling, overwhelmingly responsible for herself, and her significant others. You can see where that arises: in the child so attuned to the emotional states of others, a child who temperamentally is a people-pleaser, a child who too easily is used inappropriately because she does try so hard to be good, such a child feels the burden of responsibility for making others better."

    Fear, isolation, withdrawal, feelings of abandonment and helplessness, overly compliant/submissive behavior, self-blaming, and humiliation are common responses of children to emotional/psychological abuse (Tomison & Tucci, 1997).


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