Sunday, April 1, 2012

Daddy



 So I thought I would talk a little bit about my Daddy, and what he means...what having a Daddy means. It's not the same for everyone. We're all unique. All opinions expressed are mine alone, your mileage may vary. This is our flavor, our particular exquisite shade of gray.




You've seen me say that Daddy and I are non-ageplay. I have a feeling that for a lot of people, they just assume that when you are in a D/lg relationship it is all about ageplay/incest play. For some it is. For some the taboo is the turn on. Not me...I was repeatedly sexually abused from about the age of 5 to 13. I have no desire to revisit those times.

I don't condemn anyone who enjoys ageplay. I don't condemn anyone. There are plenty of people that are ready and willing to condemn me for many things...I submit, I allow someone to dominate me, I allow someone to hit me. I understand that in this world we are all served by different things. What serves me might not serve you, what serves you might not serve me.... shades of gray.


I have
always said for once, just once, I want to be precious to someone. I want to be the one who brings the sun. I want to be able to see things with unvarnished eyes and share them with someone who takes joy in the seeing. I believe in magic, you see. I see wonder in the world. Sunshine, rainbows, the wind sloughing through the trees, thunder, lightening, the roar of the ocean, seagulls circling catching what you toss midair, sparrows sitting on your hand, dragonflies landing on your hand, butterflies lighting on your shoulder, fireflies lighting the night, Christmas lights - magic, not mundane.



That's what Daddy is. Daddy is the one who listens, who shares the magic, who reflects it back. I can be exactly who I am with Daddy. I can experience unbridled joy, and he laughs with me. I can cry, and he dries my tears, holds me till it doesn't hurt anymore. I can have a fit (yes I can!) and calmly and gently (relatively speaking) be shown a better way to express myself. He protects me from all the bad things - sometimes from myself, helps me with the hard things, always supports me, always keeps me from falling too far.


Daddy is guide, nurturer, comfort, teacher, best friend, cheerleader. Daddy is the best thing that has ever happened to this girl. Sometimes I am afraid that I dreamt him, he is that good, and that perfect for me, and that I will wake and find that he was all in my mind. Maybe my friend, MonstrsNightmare can weigh in, but I think Daddy is about level of trust. Daddy is trustworthy, he is the one who will never let me down.

I'm not always 6-years-old. But when I am, I can be, and be seen as endearing, well-loved, cute, funny. I can bring him joy. My God, that is the most awesome, amazing thing in the world! And for the first time in my life, I am precious.
 


6 comments:

  1. Trust, mmhmm. I think for littles, we put our complete, absolute faith in our Daddies, because they are supermen. They can do anything, overcome any obstacle, and still have the ability to be ginormous teddy bears for cuddling. That level of trust is amazing and makes me feel whole.

    I was reading through my scribble journal earlier today and came across an entry about my past and how Monster helps heal me. He gives my inner little girl that soft place to land. A person I can trust and love that won't hurt me in a damaging way.

    And btw, I am with you on the non-ageplay. Lol. We don't consider ourselves ageplayers, just two people who have complimenting personality traits. :)

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    1. OMG, I LOVE that phrase! I see it often in Stormy's blog. And Daddy & I were talking about that last night. I said I always want to be his soft place to land (cause Daddies need that, too!). He is definitely my soft place to fall. No matter how bad anything is, I ache in my heart to be with him, and when I am, and wrapped in his arms, it all goes away, and I'm filled with that amazing peace and happiness, and beyond that, a warm, comfortable contentment. All is right with the world.

      Trust, yes complete, absolute faith... I somehow think you will understand this, Daddy is 6'4, I'm 5'10, there is obviously a "looking up", but even in thinking about talking to Daddy, there is this spiritual looking up. It's not an oppressed, under-his-thumb looking up, it is a looking up to wisdom, looking up to he who holds me precious, looking up to my protector....looking up to my everything.

      Yeah, it's really, really hard to describe the dynamic when you're non-ageplay. We are so complimentary, it is breathtaking.

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    2. Lol, I completely understand that. I'm 5'3"(let me have my half an inch) and he is 6 ft. even, I might physically have to look up to him, but metaphorically speaking, I still do. He's a genius and knows stuff I don't, he can see this path we follow and guides me down it, he is strong and brave and smart and...well you get it. He gives me this role model that I can look up to. ;)

      He says it lots, but I love hearing it. I center and ground him as much as he does me. He knows, no matter what, I will be waiting for him with a shoulder and an ear. I will be his soft place to. :)

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  2. okay, I'll let you have your half inch ;) Yes, I absolutely get it. He is strong, confident, brave, clear-sighted and sure, and I trust him completely, totally to steer the ship.

    I love hearing it too, because there is nothing I want to do more than make him proud, and happy.

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  3. June you honor me, indeed it is a true honor being the man you call daddy and every day my world is brighter for it... I love you!!!

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  4. Thank you, Daddy. No less than you deserve, you are the most honorable man I have ever known. And it is the joy of my life to be your little girl.

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