Vulnerability

You will receive love only to your ability to be vulnerable enough to let it in. Love between two people is a fearless state of being where who you are and who they are is given and received without fear of engulfment or abandon. The underlying belief of this state is complete trust regardless of outcome."

~Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath~

I saw this quote in my FetLife feed this morning, and it struck me. I think it's funny how this, and in fact several of the other topics seem inextricably intertwined.

There is intrinsically a physical vulnerability in any lifestyle relationship. In the committed ones, there is also an incredible emotional vulnerability. The submissive partner is not the only one who makes herself vulnerable. Accountability makes her vulnerable. Obviously she makes herself physically vulnerable for discipline and correction. She also makes herself vulnerable with honesty, and with being open and willing to her partner and his leadership, to following with grace. 

Make no mistake, the Dominant partner makes himself incredibly vulnerable, I'd like Ward to expand on that. But he's not home from work yet, and has one of those killer 30+ hour shifts tomorrow, so it may be a day or two until he can post.

The Dominant partner steers the ship. He assumes the responsibility for the decisions, which means he also assumes the responsibility for mistakes. He accepts responsibility for the actions of those he leads as well. Being the partner who holds the other accountable, he becomes vulnerable to her emotions: fear, discontent, confusion, anger, self-blame, sadness, remorse. He has to help her past those emotions, to forgive her and show her how to forgive herself, to build something positive, constructive and edifying from the experience.

Ward has said that in all things he will not fail me, be that being the biggest cheerleader I will ever have, my support when I feel overwhelmed, or the one who upholds discipline in our family. He has to make himself vulnerable to present his vision for our family. He has to make himself vulnerable to express his joy, his disappointment and his pride. I trust and treasure that. I trust and treasure him. 

And in this, too, I see the symbiotic cycle of exchange. I feed and support his leadership, and he feeds and supports my submission. And those are the things which feed and nurture our relationship, intimacy and our family. 

I love you, Daddy, you're my once in a lifetime.