Monday, March 26, 2012


I trust Ward. I trust him with my heart. I trust him with my life. I trust him with our life. I trust him with my children. I trust him with OUR family. I trust him with our future. Because of the trust we have in each other, we have a future.

What is trust? Have you ever noticed that when you talk of trust with people that they tend to bristle, and that their defenses tangibly engage? Have you also noticed that they can't really define it? For me, trust is the desire to make myself vulnerable to him. It is the desire to be completely naked before him, completely honest and without guile. It is not being afraid to show him my throat and my soft belly, knowing they will be met with his soft kiss, and his gentle touch and not sharp teeth.

Trust in this kind of relationship means relinquishing control. Maybe that's why they bristle. Loss of control is a hot button issue. But that's a misconception, I have not lost control. I have given him control. I have given him authority. It was not given lightly. It's a long, slow process. And he never shrank once during the process. Instead, he stretched to accept and encompass all that I am. And every time he did, my trust grew. I don't have to try to be anyone except exactly who I am, and he delights in and treasures that. Which grows my trust - what a lovely cycle!

Trust and authority kind of go hand in hand - so many of these topics in this lifestyle seem to go hand in hand. And I guess in the upcoming post on authority we'll talk more about trust.

And just an aside. If anyone has any questions at anytime, please feel free to ask either Ward or myself, on or off the blog. Just please understand that sometimes Ward will need a day or so to be able to respond because of the hours he works. But he will be most happy to answer any questions you have. And so will I.


  1. I loved this! It reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend a while back. Not going into details, she and her beau have some issues. We were talking and love and trust were brought up. So I ask, "do you trust him?" I was met with a growl and an exasperated sigh and, "of course I do. What kind of question is that?" So I ask, "do you trust him with your heart. Do you trust that he can walk into a room full of women and leave without at least getting a number. Do you trust him with that part of yourself that you have never exposed to another soul? Don't confuse your love for him with trust. You can love someone and still not trust them." After that she thought about it and figured out that love was there, trust was missing.

    I think with the BDSM, D/s type relationships, trust is a requirement. I know it should be in every relationship, but when it starts crossing that line of kinky stuff, trust is paramount.

  2. I agree 1000%. I think those are elements that should exist in every relationship, but are sadly missing in many. But as you said, when it comes to a D/s type relationship, and even there perhaps to a certain extent even more with D/lg relationships it is even more important.

    You can't lead me if you don't listen to me. You can't lead me if you don't understand me. You can't lead me if you don't hear me. One of the most amazing things to me - well two - is that Ward will remember things I said when we very first started talking, before we even knew there was an 'us'. He has me now, he doesn't have to remember - but he does, because I'm important to him. The other is that he hears the things that I don't say. He reads me so very well.

    I wonder if most people even consider trust when they build relationships? Maybe because of the types of activities involved in a very small part of our relationships, trust becomes more important, or is more readily considered as part of our 'list of desirable characteristics'.


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