Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Authority is another of those concepts that make a lot of people bristle. This is another one of those words that people misconstrue, I think. When you say you are in a Dominant/submissive relationship they seem to assume that you are in a relationship with a domineering person, a micro-manager, someone who is small and petty and controlling. A good Dominant is in control of himself before he ever assumes a leadership role. Just because someone has authority does not mean they are authoritarian.

Ward is my authority. He is not my authority because he dictated it. He is my authority because I give him my submission. I give him authority over me. I accept his authority in our relationship. I respect his authority.

I do not respect his authority because he demands it. I do not respect his authority because he is bigger. I do not respect his authority because he is louder. I respect him because he respects me. I respect his authority because my Ward is possessing of a thing that I like to call quiet command.
Quiet command is probably something that is personal to me, but I know that others will understand the concept. One possessing of quiet command does not need to raise his voice to be heard. He is a person who can walk into a room and be felt before being seen. He is a person who is strong, who people naturally seek for counsel. He is authoritative, he inspires confidence.

Ward is not authoritarian, never a dictator. He seeks to know my heart, to understand what I think and feel, and how I am affected by the things that happen around us. Even when I am willing and ready to stuff down my feelings, because I think it's best or not very submissive (yeah, I know I think too much), he draws it out, he knows something is there I am concealing. He gently pulls it out of my heart. He reminds me that he is there to help me. He is there to remind me I am worthy. He is there to remind me that my thoughts and feelings are important, they may be misguided or self-destructive, but they inhabit my heart & mind and he wants to address them.

We began as friends. And I grew to trust him. And from that trust grew a love so deep and so fierce and so deeply entwined into every fiber of my being that I can lay my ego in his hands. And that is because I can trust him not to abuse my trust or his authority. I trust him to build the structure of our lives. I trust him to hold us up. I trust him to teach us to laugh and to fly.

His POV:

Authority is more than being loud, or commanding. Authority is the tool that we use to provide direction, balance, support and structure.  I try to be the man that June deserves and I value her input so very much, she has given me the honor of being the leader in our relationship and that is a privilege that I try very hard to be worthy of. Knowing that June has my back at all times and is comfortable with my leadership and decision making skills is an amazing blessing that allows me to function and perform at my best and it also keeps our relationship on track and where we need to be. At the root of it all is a  love vibrant and  living and a true desire to lead from the front and be the Gentleman that she can look to and be proud of!


  1. I love this! I couldn't have said it better myself. :D

  2. Thanks :D And that's high praise cause you say things pretty well your ownself :)


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