I would like to post a quick apology to everybody, especially June, I haven't really been able to give my Point of View on a lot of the posts here. For various reasons, life has kept me on my toes lately.
I would like to talk today about some of the elements of life and the sometimes desperate need for balance and affirmation.
Purpose - Purpose gives us all that reason to get out of bed, it gives us that song in our heart and our reasons for reasons so to speak
Love - Love encompasses all that we do, in this life we live, I have no agenda, no backup, no ulterior motives, just complete and unconditional and undying love. In all it's many forms, I long to give and receive love in grand measure.
Strength - Strength is a vehicle of sorts, always to guide, always to protect never to intimidate or abuse, strength gives us the ability to do that which we and ours need done.
Passion - Now this one is a personal favorite of mine... Passion is that fire that ignites deep within... it is that spark, nay, that explosion that pushes us to the pursuit of that which we hold dearest.. It is the passions of Men and Women that truly drive them... Passion does have it's problems, but we will talk about that later.
Laughter - Perhaps underrated, laughter is so very important for so very many reasons, I've laughed more in the last six months with June than I have in my entire life.... Laughter shuts the day away and brings us closer.
Affection - The verbal and physical expression of love, delight, arousal, appeal and unity...I adore June and I know she feels the same. Showing our love and delight in each other can only make our bonds stronger.
Bond/Unity - That indescribable something that we delight in - finishing each others sentences, knowing the little things that mean the most... sharing a favorite song, the little words, the soft touches, the life we live for not ourselves, but our relationships... and so much more.. .it's a bit hard to describe that...
These are just the basics, and I'm sure if I thought, I could post another hundred or so elements that make relationships not just good but great, but I wanted to start at the foundation. Elements are the fabric of the universe, and even so, the fabric of relationships... Things change and evolve over time but not the truest fabric of a strong love. Over time our bonds grow only more powerful and that is my fondest wish for you and yours as well!
Well ladies and gentleman this sailor is all typed out... I need to go and rest, happy rest of the week and weekend to you all!
Ward had his personal moment a few posts ago, and I guess this will turn out to be mine, because no matter how I slice it, or dissect it, it all comes back to the same thoughts.
I cannot say that my life has had no purpose, that I have not known love, that I have not been possessed of a terrible strength, that there has not been some measure of passion, some laughter (though many more tears), a great deal of affection, and a certain bond in my life before Ward. I'm a mother, I have two beautiful children. But those elements in that kind of love are to an extent finite. If I do the job of mother to an admirable degree, I give those gifts to them so that they can give them to their partners. This love has a season, and I am meant to be replaced. And that is as it should be.
I have, outside of being a mother, never in my life experienced these emotions. And I have cried the tears of emptiness, I have been so hollow I have echoed and ached at the coldness. I had pretty much given up on finding that piece that would fill all the hollows and allow me to be complete. And I guess the old saying is true, when you stop seeking, love will find you.
In the quietest of moments appears a man, beautiful in spirit, with a quiet, gentle strength. He shines with a light that is exquisitely beautiful. I look at this man and find acceptance, and surprise, and other things begin to stir. Admiration grows, broken lollipop moments become common, exploration, and one day a declaration, I think I could fall in love with you. And I you. And slowly it grows and then the realization that I no longer walk alone.
And now I have my own song, a purpose that will be mine all my days to treasure he who treasures me. The love that I give is accepted and returned a thousandfold, with no agenda other than to elevate each other. It is living it flows from one to the other and grows and washes over us and heals and encompasses and shines. I draw my strength from him, and I give him my own. I do things I never dreamed I could because of him. I burn with many kinds of passion for him, and for our family, renewed and strong. As Ward said, I have never known as much laughter in the whole of my life as I have experienced with him. There is joy in sharing and in loving and being loved, of accepting unconditionally and being accepted, of treasuring and being treasured. There is a warmth that shines in my soul for Ward, pure unadulterated affection, and a bond that grows stronger by the moment. There is a need for small things, to lay my hands on his chest, to rest with my ear against his chest and hear his heartbeat, to lace my fingers in his, to look up into his most beautiful eyes and see that smile that makes me thrill every single time.
Simple things, elemental, but the elements together define a living breathing, growing love for which I bend my knees and bow my head to my creator for gifting to this once very weary soul. I love you, Daddy, you are my treasure.