Monday, May 14, 2012

Examining Submission Journaling Exercise - Day 27

Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

 I'm not sure I entirely understand 'submissive desires'. I guess that would apply more to a bedroom submissive kind of dynamic. As I said, I hate labels, but if I had to label us, the closest would be DD with somewhat of a biblical model of submission. I an not submissive to Ward in some matters, or situations. I am submissive to Ward all the time. I defer to his leadership. My only submissive desire as I understand it, is to give the gift of my surrender to Ward, and to serve him, and to have my submission received and treasured.

Fantasies? I have never trusted anyone enough to play with rope, and bondage. I would like very much to try that with Ward. This is not because I have ever fancied rope - it has always terrified me. I trust Ward implicitly enough to offer him that fear. And frankly, the idea of being totally at Ward's mercy, knowing that he would never in a million years harm me is incredibly exciting.

14 comments:

  1. I cannot wait until you get to experience rope bondage. It is wonderful. All the different textures and techniques. *swoon* I loves when we play with rope.

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    1. Me neither! Daddy went to a rope seminar the week before he left. But with all the added duty & stuff we never got to play. I know I will be breathless, but then.... all he has to do is look at me to make me breathless.

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  2. To have it received and treasured... what a lovely sentiment.

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    1. Thank you, Kitty. Ward is so gracious in the receiving that I desire to give him ever more. And I have never in all my years been held as precious, have never been treasured until him.And it still leaves me breathless.

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  3. We are pretty vanilla in the way we approach Dd. I wish I could say that I was submissive all the time but I certainly do defer to his leadership.

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    1. We're actually pretty vanilla, too. This is the kinkiest thing- well for this community anyway, lol - that we've ever talked about.

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  4. Ooooh, how fun! I hope the two of you get to try it out sometime. :)

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    1. Thanks, Grace, me, too! I can't wait till he comes back.

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  5. that's exciting! we try out new things every now and then, i love to get that "new" feeling, kind of like we just met if you get me! and it makes us feel so connected! looking forward to hearing your experiences:)

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    1. Me,too, Lily. This is something that has always terrified me, with Ward, though, the prospect is exhilarating.

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  6. I think that a blindfold is a great place to start! It's very erotic for me, then a little light bondage another day if you want to try it. You say you have complete trust and that's all it takes. I'm not submissive. But I really do enjoy TTWD!

    PK

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    1. I think that might be in his bag of tricks. And I'd love to do it with him:)

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  7. Oooh ropes and blindfolds! Two of my favorite things! It really is a big exercise in trust, especially if you're immobilized and not just bound to yourself. I find that bondage enhances that 'luxurious' feeling you mentioned in your comment on my blog immensely because there it's "Choice? What choice? What is this thing called choice? I have one?" lol
    I really look forward to hearing about your experiences with it, if/when you have them.

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    1. I think it's more a when than if, Surrina :) I'm excited to try. We'll probably start slow, but from our discussions, his goal is immobilization, and I imagine it will be quite delicious indeed! Lol - choice? what is this choice of which you speak?

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