Wednesday, June 13, 2012

How Ward became Daddy

Ward and I had been talking for several months. It was after the deployment I spoke of in the last post. And honestly we were still 'friends' (who talked several hours every day...yeah, yeah, I'm a lil slow) and before we were Ward and June.



We had actually talked about littles. A friend had told me that I had a little, that she saw it. And I immediately rejected that concept. To me that was like a mark of mental illness, I immediately thought DID (dissociative identity disorder). Ward and I talked about it, and he assured me that he didn't see anything alarming in who I was, and did see some childlike qualities. I talked to my therapist about it, and called it my little piece of arrested development. She said she thought it was just a very vulnerable piece of me that I had never trusted anyone with. Well that felt better.



I had talked to Ward about it and he said that seemed a logical conclusion, especially in light of my childhood. So I started researching littles. And It seemed at first that it was all about ageplay and incest play, and that was a big no-no with my childhood. Ward and I talked about that, too. He agreed that he was not interested in ageplay. And it just kind of settled. I still researched, like I do with many things I need to understand. But neither of us considered it a factor in our .... friendship.

One night, we were talking and I had had a particularly stressful day, and he said something very comforting and Ward-like. And I started crying. Ward said, "If I were with you right now, this is where I would take you in my arms, kiss away your tears, calm your heart, tuck you into bed and tell you a fairy tale, especially for you." And even though  he was not there in that exact moment, I felt cradled, and comforted, and I said, without a thought, "Kinda story, Daddy? With princesses and magick?" And he said, "Yes, love, with a very special little princess, and magick and faeries. Hush now and listen."



And he wove me the most wondrous story, off the top of his head, that lulled me, soothed me and gave me the most delicious brain tickles. It wasn't strange, and it wasn't icky, and it felt extraordinarily good. It was organic, and kind of symbolic of our relationship, very amoebic, we stretch to encompass, consume and satisfy the needs of the other.



He says that I awoke a part of him that he thought was gone forever. And with him I can be that which I have never been able to be, small, vulnerable, trusting and unbetrayed and totally genuine.

And now I'm crying.... I love you, Daddy, and I miss you so.

14 comments:

  1. That is a beautiful story, thank you for sharing it!

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    1. Thank you, Kitty, and thanks for reading :) He is most amazing and I am extraordinarily lucky.

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  2. This is a beautiful and awe-inspiring post. Your Daddy and you are concrete proof that fairie tales come true! I am glad you have found in each other that rarest and most holy of earthly blessings, the reverenced union of souls.

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    1. Thanks :) Daddy and I had a conversation with just those terms. We most definitely feel a reverence and incredible awe that we have found each other and come to this place.

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  3. I am so glad the two of you have each other. I love reading these posts about the beginning of Ward and June. I think they all say something so special and unique just to the two of you. That is a blessing.

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    1. Thanks very much, Changing The Rules. I'm very glad, and grateful and extraordinarily blessed that we have each other. It most definitely feels wonderful, he is my missing piece, and if you ask him, he'll say I am his.

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  4. June,

    What a wonderful post! While mouse hasn't considered herself a "little" she totally gets the idea of it...

    Will have to look into it more maybe!

    Hugs,
    mouse

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    1. Thanks very much, mouse. I have folders for my feeds I have one for DD, D/s blogs that have interesting posts now and then, but aren't quite our style, I have one for HoH written, I have my favorites, and I have one for D/lg, D/s. Guess where yours has been for a long time? :) There is something that speaks that to me that runs through your posts, but the last one, very much especially, spoke of D/lg to me. Just my perception :)

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    2. The more mouse reads....the. Ore she sees it.

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    3. *Smiles* For me it's a wondrous blessing. If I can answer anything, or share some of my resources, mouse, I'd be happy to :)

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  5. That is sweet. I have a lot of child--like qualities also and have learned to embrace them.

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    1. Thanks, Stormy. Both Daddy and I have remarked on reading some of your posts that we most definitely see some child-like qualities, especially in some of the exchanges you have with Ogre.

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  6. Sweetness. :)

    I love this and it is so...pure. That Daddy way Mr. Ward has and that little girl in you. Thank you for sharing this. It's so touching and sweet.

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    1. Thanks :) I think the very best of Daddies have that same way of finding and coaxing little girls out of hiding. I'd be lost without him.

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