Wednesday, March 20, 2013

No Vacations in DD/TTWD

                                               
 365 days a year, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. No vacations. When applied to our busy lifestyles, it is easy to imagine being overrun, burnt out and desperately needing some time to just step back and breathe. While this is definitely true, especially in this day and age, there are some concepts that we must take to the core of our relationships and our lifestyle every single day.   DD/TTWD does test us and it requires daily diligence and effort. That being said, it does not go without notice that sometimes this lifestyle is difficult, sometimes the communication process can test us especially when we are tired. But let's all be honest: There are no vacations in TTWD/DD.
                                          
Vacation brings to mind  sun-drenched days filled with love, laughter, romance and pleasure. While It is true that we MUST refresh and renew our relationships in the face of the day to day grind of life, We must also remember our responsibilities to each other, and our relationships. DD/TTWD by design requires consistency, and with consistency comes peace, ease of mind, and clarity.  The effort required in complete dedication to communication, and role maintenance is no small feat however and this must be acknowledged. June works very hard to be mindful of our relationship and her role in it, I also try to remember my role as the head of our home. I must recognize June's efforts in not only our relationship, but the many contributions she adds to my life and the lives of our children. I know that in addition to maintaining our roles and recognition that I must relieve stress and ensure that she is rested and better able to handle the stress that comes with being a wife and mother.
                                                 
Now comes the dreaded M-word... that's right folks, I'm talking about maintenance.  While maintenance might be a very passionate or heated subject for some... We really feel that there are  numerous and valuable benefits that bolster our relationship, bring us closer and help keep us both mindful of the importance of our roles in a relationship. Maintenance isn't just one thing... For us, sometimes maintenance is going to bed  early holding hands and just talking... Sometimes maintenance is having the boys stay with friends and just spending a romantic evening snuggling and watching movies on the couch. Yes, maintenance, can and often does include one or more elements of spanking and discipline.  As unsurprising as it may be to hear from us, we have found that sometimes nothing smooths the edges, bridges the gaps, and gets rid of stress quite like a thoughtful spanking experience.
                                                              
                                                      
As mentioned above,  sometimes a  vacation, or stay-cation  from the stress of life can be a happy, healthy time of rediscovery, strengthened bonds, and refreshment of spirit. As great as this is, it also stands to reason that for very practical reasons, that a two week trip  to a tropical beach may not be practical, but with a little experimentation, the judicious hiring of babysitters and a little imagination we can very easily  create a relaxing, fun atmosphere that is custom made for the purposes of bonding, role reinforcement and the mutual enjoyment of each other, ourselves and our relationship.



                                                                  








Her POV:

For me, I think I would be completely unbalanced if Ward was inconsistent. I need to be able to depend on him. Even when that means we enter a disciplinary or correction-type situation. There is security in knowing that whether we are in our living room, at the local Walmart, or park, or on vacation, that he will continue to hold us to the high standard we have for our relationship.

Busyness is not an excuse for discounting each other. Nor is stress. We strive to always be mindful that we depend on each other, always We can always count on the other to remind us of that, and to hold the other accountable if we forget the things that are important to us.

And the "M" word, yeah, June is a freak, I find comfort in that, too. Both in the consistency, and the fact that we have a mechanism when things start to swing, and I feel a bit unhinged, that brings us together, stripped down, and honest with each other. I value our life, the security, the closeness, the honesty, sometimes the rawness. Do we do maintenance on vacation? Yup. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


22 comments:

  1. I love how you both explain things. Everything you say reflects how deeply feel about each other!

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    1. Thanks for your kind words, Minelle. I have truly never felt so deeply for another man in my life :)

      (((hugs)))

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  2. Well, I agree with Minelle again! Maintenance is a big deal for Master and I...it is important to keeping me calm and focused...and He knows that.
    hugs abby

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    1. It is for me, too, abby. And no matter where we are, or what we're doing, it's important to the fabric of our lives and our dynamic.

      (((hugs)))

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  3. I would rather have maintenance in whatever form it comes than discipline.. I like how you brought out that it's not just spanking. It's maintaining the relationship, on whatever level it needs. I'm with June, I need consistency or well.. the wheels fall off.

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    1. You and me both, Dana. I've said before that I have had very few corrections, and I honestly it is because of the frequency and consistency with which we do maintenance. Not that I'm afraid of a bigger, badder spanking, I'm not afraid of Ward or of any spanking - fun, discipline or correction. I believe that it does keep me from spinning.

      (((hugs)))

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Thanks for reading, Dragon's Rose - don't know what you said, just wanted to let you know I knew you were here, and you're welcome to ay anything you'd like here :)

      (((hugs)))

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  5. The first time I ever heard maintenance in reference to a spanking was on Clint's blog. Matthew and his family referred to maintenance as "attitude or emotional adjustments". Matthew said it was because sometimes I just needed to adjust my thinking or reset my emotions. Hmmm...may have had a point there...dang it! ;) Wonder if others would have less time getting their heads around the need for a 'maintenance' session if it was referred to as an attitude or emotional adjustment. No point...just wondering. ;)

    I agree with Minelle...I really love how you both explain things and it is extremely obvious how deeply you love one another.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Mmmm, emotional adjustment makes tons of sense to me, Cat, Lord knows I need it. I am the epitome of emotional female, and it keeps my hamster from spinning me clear into orbit.

      Loving and being love like this it is what I have always wanted, what I have always dreamed of, and what I thought was a fairytale. He made them come true :)

      (((hugs)))

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  6. Ick. maintenance. blech.
    I don't think Ian is doing it right. It just seems like a spanking for no reason.
    I confess to feeling quite resentful sometimes. There I said it. I know that many dd relationships are based on it. It just brings up a whole lot of feisty in me.
    Loved your post, thought. You guys even make maintenance sound nice.

    hugs
    lillie

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    1. It can be nice, lillie-belle, really. It's a time where it is just him and I. We are focused on connecting. As with any spanking, there are lots of soft, sweet touches and encouraging words, and lots of cuddles, but there is not the weight of unresolved issues in the way. As Daddy pointed out, maintenance is not always spanking, because maintenance is not only about maintaining the dynamic, or desired behavior, it's about maintaining our relationship and our enriching our love...and that has no venue, any time, any place:)

      (((hugs)))

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  7. Great post. Sounds great the m word everyday would be even better. Maybe twice a day. That time when theres no one around but the two of us, no phone, no four kids, no tv, no computer, or parents that need us. Heaven being together so quiet and peaceful just the sound of his voice and slapping. June I also find peace and comfort in it no matter how long it lasts. Hugs

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    1. We actually do spank at least twice daily, Annie :) Wake-ups and bedtimes - starts the day off well and connected, and helps me with my insomnia, and any additional times during the day that are wanted or needed. Yes, there is peace, the sound of his voice is music any time, any day, but then in those special, intimate times, I can literally sail away on it.

      (((hugs)))

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  8. I love how you explained this, especially that maintenance is more than just spanking. As always, your love shines through this post :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Thanks, Roz :) It's so much more than spanking. Taking the time to be available to each other is so very important, and is maintaining the relationship, and it shouldn't really be particular to DD/TTWD couples, should it?

      (((hugs)))

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  9. I have such mixed feelings about maintenance! I know when I need it and can soften myself into it, hopeful for the outcome. I also know when he declares it is to happen and I am soooo not interested, that it can get...well, interesting for both of us.

    I have a couple friends who do take little DD breaks. I'm not sure how they wrap their heads around it b/c we can't and even in our first year of this when we tried for even a couple days, it was a train wreck for my head. I think June and I are similar in our needs for consistency.

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    1. When Daddy says it's time for a spanking, or simply takes my hand and leads me - and often times it is not for spanking, just up to our room and he draws me into his arms - there is a softness that immediately washes over me, I know that space we create is a place of emotional peace and comfort.

      I couldn't survive voluntary breaks. I enjoy the closeness that we share, it's decadent.

      (((hugs)))

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  10. June is a freak, eh? Lol! I love that you described maintenance as more than spanking. Yes that is usually a part of our maintenance, but if there is no emotional connection then it was just foreplay.

    Hugs to ya both!

    P

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    1. *hangs head & nods* June is a freak *drags leg behind and tries to make hump appear smaller* :-P

      Exactly, the emotional connection is what it's all about!

      (((hugs - from us both :D )))

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  11. I also need maintenance, and in all the ways mentioned here. I don't like to disappoint Dave, and he tells me that I don't act up needing correction; at least not often. But the truth is that I do need a spanking at times, as a release. So maintenance, and now that I think about it, in all the ways described here but especially the physical maintenance does keep things in our relationship balanced, keeps me balanced. I don't fear displeasing him and I don't want put him in a place where he feels bad for having to correct, I know it's not his favorite thing to do.
    So June, if finding comfort in the M word makes you a freak, then can I join your club, because I'm right there with you.

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    1. *scoots over on the comfy couch and pats the spot next to me* We have chocolate, Jacquie :D

      I hate to disappoint Ward. I honestly think I do need less correction because we do maintenance so frequently. It keeps me feeling soft and reminds me he is there to lean on. More importantly, I think, it reminds me that he sees me, the me deep down inside, and is committed to taking care of me.

      Yes, very true - I fear nothing with Ward. I don't fear him, I don't fear any kind of spanking, or discipline, I don't fear talking or maintaining the connection to the highest level we can. I don't fear my own emotions for the first time ever. He is teaching me, slowly, diligently, that there is nothing to fear in anything I think or feel, and that nothing I think or feel is unworthy.

      (((hugs)))

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