Exploring traditional male-led, DD, D/s relationships in a modern world. We believe in building on and within our core values of communication, reciprocity, grace and balance.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
No Vacations in DD/TTWD
365 days a year, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. No vacations. When applied to our busy lifestyles, it is easy to imagine being overrun, burnt out and desperately needing some time to just step back and breathe. While this is definitely true, especially in this day and age, there are some concepts that we must take to the core of our relationships and our lifestyle every single day. DD/TTWD does test us and it requires daily diligence and effort. That being said, it does not go without notice that sometimes this lifestyle is difficult, sometimes the communication process can test us especially when we are tired. But let's all be honest: There are no vacations in TTWD/DD.
Vacation brings to mind sun-drenched days filled with love, laughter, romance and pleasure. While It is true that we MUST refresh and renew our relationships in the face of the day to day grind of life, We must also remember our responsibilities to each other, and our relationships. DD/TTWD by design requires consistency, and with consistency comes peace, ease of mind, and clarity. The effort required in complete dedication to communication, and role maintenance is no small feat however and this must be acknowledged. June works very hard to be mindful of our relationship and her role in it, I also try to remember my role as the head of our home. I must recognize June's efforts in not only our relationship, but the many contributions she adds to my life and the lives of our children. I know that in addition to maintaining our roles and recognition that I must relieve stress and ensure that she is rested and better able to handle the stress that comes with being a wife and mother.
Now comes the dreaded M-word... that's right folks, I'm talking about maintenance. While maintenance might be a very passionate or heated subject for some... We really feel that there are numerous and valuable benefits that bolster our relationship, bring us closer and help keep us both mindful of the importance of our roles in a relationship. Maintenance isn't just one thing... For us, sometimes maintenance is going to bed early holding hands and just talking... Sometimes maintenance is having the boys stay with friends and just spending a romantic evening snuggling and watching movies on the couch. Yes, maintenance, can and often does include one or more elements of spanking and discipline. As unsurprising as it may be to hear from us, we have found that sometimes nothing smooths the edges, bridges the gaps, and gets rid of stress quite like a thoughtful spanking experience.
As mentioned above, sometimes a vacation, or stay-cation from the stress of life can be a happy, healthy time of rediscovery, strengthened bonds, and refreshment of spirit. As great as this is, it also stands to reason that for very practical reasons, that a two week trip to a tropical beach may not be practical, but with a little experimentation, the judicious hiring of babysitters and a little imagination we can very easily create a relaxing, fun atmosphere that is custom made for the purposes of bonding, role reinforcement and the mutual enjoyment of each other, ourselves and our relationship.
For me, I think I would be completely unbalanced if Ward was inconsistent. I need to be able to depend on him. Even when that means we enter a disciplinary or correction-type situation. There is security in knowing that whether we are in our living room, at the local Walmart, or park, or on vacation, that he will continue to hold us to the high standard we have for our relationship.
Busyness is not an excuse for discounting each other. Nor is stress. We strive to always be mindful that we depend on each other, always We can always count on the other to remind us of that, and to hold the other accountable if we forget the things that are important to us.
And the "M" word, yeah, June is a freak, I find comfort in that, too. Both in the consistency, and the fact that we have a mechanism when things start to swing, and I feel a bit unhinged, that brings us together, stripped down, and honest with each other. I value our life, the security, the closeness, the honesty, sometimes the rawness. Do we do maintenance on vacation? Yup. And I wouldn't have it any other way.