Monday, March 4, 2013

What is Discipline?

In a post a while back Blue Bird asked what was discipline to us. I haven't forgotten, I promised  to expand on it in a future post. It just took some time to get here :)



afterOTKWe've outlined the kinds of spankings we employ, but I guess never really went into lots of depth about them. So I guess I need to describe how Ward administers each, a little. In the event that I have broken one of our rules Ward will administer a correction spanking. Correction is given hard and fast, with a greater level of intensity for longer periods of time. He will pause and lecture, so that I can hear what he is saying. He will tell me he is proud of me for taking my correction like a good girl. It is correction, but the message that it comes from a place of love is very clear. During the pauses he will rub my bottom in the pauses, but there will be no sexual touch. There will be no sexual intimacy immediately after, but we do cuddle and snuggle and talk to affirm forgiveness and the clean slate, and then sometimes nap. It is all emotional reconnection.





I don't think I have to tell anyone the purpose of a good girl/pleasure spanking. This is given slowly, luxuriously. Every spanking starts and ends with discipline, but in a GG, it's not quite as vigorous,  nor is it quite as long, and as soon as Daddy breaks out the Angel Maker, it's almost forgotten....okay, the owww, is almost forgotten. but not the message. I am his. I belong to him. My pain and my pleasure belong to him. Even in the vigorous part, Daddy talks sweetly, and say the things that make even the most intense of sensations bearable. There are lots of pauses, for rubs, sensual touch, intimate touch and other attentions (ahem).



mmmm, this!

Discipline, that's kind of our catch all. It generally means that one of us needs to feel my submission, or his Dominance, I'm toeing the line of breaking a rule and he is reigning me in before I cross it, one of us is stressed beyond belief, I'm premenstrual (okay, I hate to admit that, but hey, we're all being honest here), and again quite frankly, perhaps because one of us has a deeply visceral, primal need for intensity. I guess you could say that for us discipline is a no-reason-necessary balancer.






mmm, thisDiscipline is much more intense than a good girl. It does not preclude the use of my GG toys, they will just be used much more vigorously. The stretches between touch are longer, but the touches are a definite and delicious claiming. There will be very sensual connections made during and after the spanking. Sometimes the spanking will be paused for love-making, and then resume. The entire message of this is that he owns me, and that I belong to him in every sense of the word.



Even though discipline for us might appear as severe as correction to some others, it is something that is necessary in our dynamic to allow me to be who I am, and allow him to be who he is, allow us both to blossom and grow in the depth of our devotion to one another. It is something that connects us at a very deep level.





 HIS POV: 

Discipline for us is a very nourishing and sensuous experience that puts an emphasis on my dominance, her submission and the unified dynamic that we share. At the heart of it all is love, regardless of when or why June is over my knee, love is the chiefest and greatest reason for spanking and the many motivations that we use it for.

Pleasure, correction, affirmation, nourishment and understanding are all worthy and excellent reasons to share spanking with the ones we love.  DD/TTWD, love, affection are all beautiful and vital to our process!

32 comments:

  1. What a wonderful post. How connected you two appear I like how you explain the differences between punishment/correction good girl and discipline. I will share this with Vic we are always looking to grow.

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    1. Thanks very much, Cathie. We are very connected and work had to stay that way. It take lots of communication and mutual respect.

      (((hugs)))

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  2. Thanks June and Ward! This is a great post. I will eventually share this with Rooster.

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    1. You're welcome, Blue Bird :) Eventually? lol

      (((hugs)))

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  3. Good explanation...I get different kids of spankings, and they really are different and feel different and leave me feeling different...it is just hard to explain all those differences. You did a great job of it!
    hugs abby

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    1. Thanks very much, abby. They all leave me feeling softer and smaller, they just get me there by different mechanisms.

      (((hugs)))

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  4. Your discipline spankings sound very similar to our maintenance spankings. They are very tough but something we both need a very much look forward too. When we first started them in a more intense level it was confusing because they felt like correction but a few adjustments we really found a way to make it work for us.

    Thanks for sharing.
    db

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    1. dancingbarez, yes, they have similarities. Everyone has different names for it, but I'd equate them to - or say that they can be any of what some call maintenance, role affirmation, stress relief, reminders, or just because spankings.

      We've often said some folks might be afraid of our discipline because it can get quite intense. But he goes out of his way when it is, to make sure I understand that I am not being corrected.

      (((hugs)))

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  5. Very good explanation Ward and June. In my opinion, the most important part was explaining the emotions involved in each type...doesn't always get explained or if it does, not nearly as well! Thank you for sharing something so personal in order to help others.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Thanks, Cat :) You know me, I have to dissect the why of everything :)

      (((hugs)))

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    1. Lol, thanks, Elisa :)

      (((hugs)))

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  7. Great explaining. Im gonna show hubby, but honestly were not there yet. Hes still trying to figure out how it works. Pms time or stressed out he goes to town for a half hour, and for three days im a saint well almost. We need to find time to sit Ward and June and have him read some of your post. Another bad snow storm coming our way so hopefully we dont lose power again. Thank you for sharing. Hugs

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    1. Thanks, Annie. It's a journey, sweetie. No rush to get anywhere, and in truth, Ward and I are still journeying, as well. We never arrive and I think it's dangerous to think that - that would sound like you can stop trying, stop working hard, and that leaves the potential to take things for granted. I'm more than happy to be on this journey with him. We're still learning and growing and I hope we always are:)

      (((hugs)))

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  8. I too appreciated this and couldn't quite figure out why till I read the comments. It's what Cat said--the emotion behind the different kinds of spankings are what make them unique. Sometimes the everyday spankings here are just as intense as correction, but the emotions are very different.

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    1. Yes, Susie, it's very much the emotions. Sometimes I need the intensity in a non-correction spanking, but it's the emotions attached that make it different.

      (((hugs)))

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  9. Considering there's no correction in my zone, that leaves us with fewer types of spankings, but I think the whole bit about the emotions being different is right on the mark. They might all LOOK the same, but the feelings are different. Even if they sometimes look the same, eg, GG/sensual and Maintenance (which sometimes involves sex), one is purely for pleasure and kink/fun, and the other drives home the message that he is in charge.

    thank you for the awesome explanation!

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    1. LOL Fondles - Daddy used the brush in every single spanking - that's the I'm in charge component. Correction makes a clear addition to that message- you are not, lol. The emotions involved are very powerful, I'm glad I'm not alone!

      (((hugs)))

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  10. Great explanation, June.
    The difference is very real.
    hugs
    lillie

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    1. Thanks, lillie-belle, it sure it!

      (((hugs)))

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  11. What a great post! You did a wonderful job of explaining the emotions associated with each. That really makes all the difference! This is very similar to what we do too actually. ;)

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    1. Thanks, Grace :) Is it odd that I'm grateful that you kind of have a similar dynamic? I'm glad we're not the only ones :P

      (((hugs)))

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    2. Nope, not odd at all...at least imo...if it is, well then we're both odd! ;)

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    3. It's much more fun to be odd with a friend, lol. Thanks :)

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  12. This is a really great post and great explanation. Thanks for writing this.

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    1. Thanks very much, Zoe, for reading! I'm glad you found something to take away :)

      (((hugs)))

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  13. Great post and a great job of explaining the differences. Particularly the differences in the emotions behind the spanking. The intensity between the different types of spanking do vary, but it really is the emotions that make the biggest difference.

    You discipline spankings sound very similar to our role affirmation.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Thanks very much, Roz. Yes, discipline for us is kind of the catchall - it is the firmer spanking that yes, does affirm our roles along with whatever other purpose it serves - stress relief (if I had shared I wouldn't be stressed), reminders (getting a wee bit stroppy - who me??), or simply because I needed and asked or simply because he chooses to.

      (((hugs)))

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  14. As usual, I ALWAYS enjoy reading your posts June because they are so filled with love. Although I in awe of the intensity of some of your spankings, the love shines through so much that they are never distressing to read. Instead, they are helpful and informative. We are still very much finding our way, and enjoying the journey, and our spankings tend to be mostly of the 'good girl' variety but with "additional spanks" tacked on for various reasons. It's just so good to have your advice and explanations. Thank you so much.

    Many hugs,

    Ami

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    1. Thanks so much, Ami, and I'm glad that comes through, that is one thing we have in abundance :) They are intense, but it is what we both need, and we went slow to find that place. That's the most important thing - finding your own place, the place that gives you what you both need :)

      (((hugs)))

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  15. Thank you for taking us through these June and Ward! As always, your love for each other shines through- in all of the types of spankings that you describe. It is interesting that the intensity of the spankings can be similar, but the atmosphere in which it is delivered/the emotions brought to the session really make it what it is. Thanks again! :) Hugs!

    <3 Katie

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    1. Thanks very much, Katie. Yes it is very much the atmosphere. I much prefer the ownership type spanking - the just because I belong to him and he can kind :)

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