Everyone has insecurities. From an early age we are taught to believe that we must attain the unobtainable, that we have to stay in the lines and have to be blond-haired, blue-eyed and perfect husbands and wives in order to see our true worth. Society at large, the media, and even contemporary music and television shows depict the common person as lacking. Day in and day out we are bombarded with not so subtle messages and reminders that we'll never make enough money, that we're not attractive enough, not young enough, just plain not good enough. June and I had an interesting conversation the other day and I realized that fostering a healthy self-image and a positive self-mindset are going to be a lifelong endeavor that demands my finest vigilance and most selfless motivations.We know what sometimes causes insecurity, So why then are we still susceptible to it? Why is it so easy to lift others up and yet doubt our own veracity? In my own case, I guess I've always feared never measuring up to what June desires and deserves in a man, I fear that I won't be a good enough father and that the kids truly deserve better. June reassures me every day that I do a better than descent job, and when I see them smile, or watch them playing or check on them when they are sleeping, it gives me a confidence that bolsters me.
Self-confidence begins with understanding that we have our partner's back and that no matter what, they have our deepest and truest love. From there I would encourage you all to take a moment to reflect on what is positive in your world and about yourself. Take delight in your individuality, marvel at your uniqueness and understand that there is beauty in the honest soft beauty in the display of soft openness and the acceptance of one's strength, appeal and beauty... especially when it is hard to see ourselves. Despite the selfishness of others, even people we grew up with, shared a home with, or were once intimate with... No sometimes we must dig deeper and see not only our worth, but how our self-perception affects our partners. I'm sure that I am not the only HoH who takes issue and will vigorously correct self-degradation and unhealthy, sef-directed language that only hurts and adds to a layer of negativity. June knows that I take no pleasure in the act of correction. It is a painful thing for us both, but I also understand that sometimes, like the truth, the growth process can sting a little.