Dirty Laundry

                                                   

 Sometimes we don't agree. Sometimes there is friction.  It would be easy to let the heat of the moment get to us and wind up saying a bunch of things that we would regret.  It is worth understanding that sometimes, it is far better to brake from heated conversation to let tongues and heads cool. If it's one thing that I've learned from being in the spanking lifestyle, the TTWD/DD lifestyle, the D/S lifestyle, whatever version you can think of or use,  losing one's cool during a stressful or difficult situation does not help things a bit and in fact only further adds to the difficulty of the conversation and adds an unsavory amount of negative emotion that then has to be dealt with.

                                                                                                       

                             

               

                                                        

 I have observed other couples who don't seem to care where they are or who their disagreement is heard or seen by. Indeed it seems like in some instances that they would have people choose or pick a side or pat their heads and offer them a lollipop in placation of who was or was not  "right"  Disagreeing with the one you love is never an easy thing, it disrupts the harmony that we long to build. It robs us of a truly independent view and expression of our feelings. Sometimes being honest means being humble and honest about what we truly desire. Sometimes we must truly realize that we must put pride aside and act in interest of our relationship.  Not our interests, not their interests, but the truest and best interest of our relationship - even when it's hard - even when we don't agree. I think there is something to be said for truly respecting our partner, even when we see them at their worst. Sometimes respect means understanding the source and cause of the friction that lies between you and keeping it just there... between you.

                                                 

My grandmother called it "airing dirty laundry" or a "lover's tiff" - whatever it is called it is wrong. Trying to make our partner look like "The Bad Guy" or trying to gain enablers and sympathy from outside parties is clearly the wrong thing to do at any point of a healthy relationship. If we are to grow and become strong we cannot balk at the challenge of productive debate. Sometimes tough decisions have to be made and in so doing we put our relationship in a better place.  Decisions aren't always easy and the HoH has to be able to live with any and all consequences that his decision(s)  create or solve. Naturally this isn't always easy. It's also hard to experience  the domestic harmony that we strive for when disagreements, hard feelings, and miscommunication mar the beauty of our love.


                                                       
                                  
We would encourage you to find a healthy way to express yourself in disagreement. What's easy isn't always what is right and what is needed may be something even different still! HoH's must remember that disagreements are going to happen and are a chance to become stronger through the inclusion of data and ideas. HoH's must also remember that disagreement and rebellion are two different things and that his TiH can still offer her support even when it isn't easy. TiH's should remember and recognize that her man is and must do his very best to make the right decisions and put the relationship on the truest, surest course.

Don't air your dirty laundry folks, take each other's hand and head to the laundry room with communication, love and understanding!



                                                              
                                                                     

Her POV:

One thing that I find hurtful is when people denigrate their partners and seem to find such joy in doing so. Remember the couple we talked about a while back in Walmart? *shudders* They were both lashing out so hurtfully at each other, and it gave a sad and painful picture of what their home must be like.

And again, all roads lead to communication. Why could they not have worked this out at home? Why did they strike out at each other with the deliberate aim to hurt each other? I think it's important here to point out that Daddy used the word disagreement, and that doesn't have to mean a knock down drag out, nor does it mean a lack of respect on either side.

When we value each other, when we respect each other, we don't have to hold the same views. It is possible to say - I respectfully disagree. It is possible to say - I think that's one area we will have to agree to disagree. Our love and mutual respect for each other allows us to accept that we differ, it does not compel him to force me to see his way, it doe snot compel me to withhold affection until he agrees. We gift each other with acceptance of our unique points of view.  We strengthen each other, and our relationship. And we present the harmony we create in our homes to the outside world.