We struggle, my Darling, under the weight of all these fears. And like the song exhorts, I would wish that I could just lay down here, have you lie with me and we could just forget the world, duty, and submarines, and distance.
I promised you long ago that I would be your safe place to land. I hope that I do that, you deserve that, and I need to give you that. In these days, with their interminable waiting, and trepidation of the possible news, I try to be supportive. I pray for the grace that I need to serve us and to support you in your duty. And I am afraid that in trying to protect you from the rawness of my fear, that I have not been that soft place.
"I need your grace to remind me to find my own" - and I tell you that I am afraid of the distance and that I don't understand why I am pushing away, and the soft fingers on my face and the gentle voice, "I think I understand, lovey" and you speak my heart, and I cry. I cry because I have been blessed with grace beyond measure. I have been blessed with you. And I find my belief in all that is good, and I find my faith that this is meant to be, and I find that God has given me all the grace that I will ever need in you.
I love you, and I thank you for your faith, your patience, your love, your strength,your guidance, gentle. And I thank God every single second of every single day for you.
God grant me the strength to be the man that you deserve. His grace is unquestionable and I am only his instrument. I pray for that nightly and my blessing in you is manifest and undeniable. Grace is there even through the difficult times, even when it isn't easy, even when it hurts. What we have is always beautiful, always powerful and I think even when you are quiet, even when the distance is there, you can feel it.... I love you... and I thank the Lord for blessing me beyond my wildest of dreams.