We struggle, my Darling, under the weight of all these fears. And like the song exhorts, I would wish that I could just lay down here, have you lie with me and we could just forget the world, duty, and submarines, and distance.
I promised you long ago that I would be your safe place to land. I hope that I do that, you deserve that, and I need to give you that. In these days, with their interminable waiting, and trepidation of the possible news, I try to be supportive. I pray for the grace that I need to serve us and to support you in your duty. And I am afraid that in trying to protect you from the rawness of my fear, that I have not been that soft place.
"I need your grace to remind me to find my own" - and I tell you that I am afraid of the distance and that I don't understand why I am pushing away, and the soft fingers on my face and the gentle voice, "I think I understand, lovey" and you speak my heart, and I cry. I cry because I have been blessed with grace beyond measure. I have been blessed with you. And I find my belief in all that is good, and I find my faith that this is meant to be, and I find that God has given me all the grace that I will ever need in you.
I love you, and I thank you for your faith, your patience, your love, your strength,your guidance, gentle. And I thank God every single second of every single day for you.
HIS POV:
God grant me the strength to be the man that you deserve. His grace is unquestionable and I am only his instrument. I pray for that nightly and my blessing in you is manifest and undeniable. Grace is there even through the difficult times, even when it isn't easy, even when it hurts. What we have is always beautiful, always powerful and I think even when you are quiet, even when the distance is there, you can feel it.... I love you... and I thank the Lord for blessing me beyond my wildest of dreams.
I am speechless, ( no easy feat) To recognize that kind of love would be unbelievable.
ReplyDeleteAll the best to you two while you wait.
Wilma
(((hugs))) thank you, Wilma
DeleteLifting you both up in prayer right now! There are so many raw emotions in this post, thank you for sharing with us. (((hugs)))
ReplyDelete(((hugs))) Grace, and we so appreciate your prayers, and ours are with you and your family. This chosen family is amazing, and I'm grateful for each of you.
DeleteI agree June and am so grateful as well! Thanks for the prayers, they are very much appreciated!
DeleteI am sending you both so much peace, and strength and love right now. There is love in abundance, between you that much is plain to see. But I am praying and wishing you comfort and peace in the days ahead no matter what may come.
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxoxoxox
Thank you, HisLilAngel, we so much appreciate your good wishes and positive energy.
DeleteWard and June - You honor us with your willingness to share such a beautiful loving relationship. Thank you both so much for this precious gift. Praying for your family.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Cat
(((hugs))) thank you, Cat, your prayers are very much appreciated. It is our honor and privilege to be members of this astounding community, and to have such amazing friends.
DeleteThis is one of the most moving expressions of love I have ever seen in Blogland. It is absolutely beautiful and intimate in it's honesty of feeling.
ReplyDelete.
You brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face--because this has to be terribly difficult, and yet your love is so wonderfully expressed.
Wishing the best for you both.
(((hugs))) thank you for your very kind words, lil and for your good wishes.
DeleteThis is absolutely beautiful, thank you so much for sharing your truly amazing love for each other with us.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of you and praying for you while you wait for news.
(((Hugs)))
We thank you for your thoughts and prayers, Roz (((hugs)))
DeleteThis is beautiful. Thank you for your raw honesty and sharing such intimate feelings.
ReplyDeleteThank you, M3 (((hugs)))
DeleteWard and Junie! Everytime I come over here I end up crying! Now I am crying and blubbering in my morning coffee. :D (I love it)
ReplyDeleteYour love is so evident and sincere that it just envelopes the reader. Thanks for letting us look in the windows and be the voyeurs to your wonderful marriage.
Like some of those above,
I pray for you and your family every night, as you wait for news....
hugs
lillie
Awww Lillie, I'm sorry! We appreciate your thoughts and prayers, (((hugs)))
Delete{{{HUGS}}}, you both continue to be in my thoughts and I pray that everything will work out as you want it too :)
ReplyDelete(((hugs))) thank you my faerie friend, we appreciate you and your thoughts and prayers.
DeleteBeautiful.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing with all of us.
(((hugs))) thank you, Bleuame.
DeleteJune...I'm not sure what to say! The waiting and the worry that you face sure puts the few solo weeks that I have to get through now and again into perspective. You are so strong and it sounds like - even when it becomes unbearable to put on that brave face...when you just can't help but break down and cry and you feel like hiding away - he not only understands but absolutely still cherishes you for that safe place that you provide him. ((hugs))
ReplyDelete(((hugs))) Tess. First responders also serve, a lot of people forget that. I don't my father was a career fireman. It is no less hard on their families. When we are so in love, and so close, a day or a year is torture just the same. He does understand me - it astounds me, I am blessed beyond imagination.
DeleteOh you are Graceful. Sometimes, I think you need to go back and read your blog. You are amazingly graceful. Life is ... REAL. Simply go to WalMart some day and see the humanity ... the good, the bad, and the ugly. Then look at you and your family...
ReplyDeleteSometimes your internal self defense - seeing physical separation on the horizon - emotionally distances so to make it less painful when the orders come. But voicing your concerns, supporting each other, loving each other, talking, spanking and breathing - day by day. You can make it. We're here for you too =)
My humblest thanks, Fiona. I'm just me, a simple girl in love with an astounding man - blessed in so many ways.
DeleteOh goodness yes, it is painful to see the way that people talk to their spouses, I mean literally painful. We saw something last week that made me cringe into his side.
Thank you for your friendship and support, Fiona (((hugs)))