Monday, October 22, 2012

Natural Submissive?



When I first started seeking TTWD, I didn't know that I was seeking TTWD. I had no name for it, I knew what I wanted, what I needed, but I had never, in the available outlets seen it talked about. I started exploring where I could envision searching, in the realm of BDSM. It had some elements, but it did not satisfy that deep hunger, and was somewhat more ....intense than I wished to go. I searched the spanking sites, and the Christian DD sites (yes there are some). But most of the contact I received were for hook-ups. I am not a hook-up kind of girl. I need substance, and I need depth and longevity. If I am to give this much of myself to another, should that not be there?





I did play with several people, non-sexually, impact play only, there was not enough there to wish for more in depth interaction. I had very strict limits, I said no a lot, but within the context of consent I was anticipatory.







I heard a phrase repeatedly, one that you heard Daddy say in the last post, "natural submissive". I did not understand what that meant, so I googled it - (Google is our friend). This is what I found:
A natural submissive is born with a submissive nature. A need to please others. This need and submissive tendency goes beyond sexual gratification. It is in their nature to please others, and they will readily give up their control to another with very little or no urging from their dominant.






 I did pretty much come this way. I don't know if it is a natural inclination, or one that was instilled in me, trying to win the love of a woman who was not capable of giving it, or to find someone who would be pleased just because I existed. If I heard you say you liked a particular dish, I would learn to make it. If I knew you were tired, you'd come home to a clean house. If I heard you talking about a health concern and you couldn't connect with a doctor, I would research it. I need to be able to make things right, to make things easy for people - whether I like you or not. I always just attributed it to a sense of fairness, no on e should suffer if someone can help, which is why faerie's post A Sub By Any Other Name really struck a chord with me.




You've heard me say before, I'm just me - perfectly imperfect just me. I had a friend, who took umbrage at the fact that I do find submission easy - a lot of that has to do with who Ward is. I think submission is a choice. It is certainly my choice, and for me a relief to be able to be who I am, to not have to bear armor that wearies me. She would say that not all of us are perfect. I said I am certainly not perfect. And truth be told, I have a great deal of respect for women who struggle with their submission. To my it's as though when something costs you something to give, it has more value, if that makes sense.





I ask Ward all the time, what does he get out of this? Because I get so very much. I do not want to be bottomless. I do not want this all to be about me - it feels that way sometimes. Maybe because I don't understand what exactly he feels, what it gives him. He gave me more of a glimpse in the last post. I imagine it is hard for him to put it into words. For me, it is hard to describe, it is visceral, it's a feeling, a heartbeat.





As I got to know Ward, I realized that this was my One. This was the person that I could let all the walls down with. This is the person who would see me for who I was, and accept me, and nurture me. Ward touched the place of submission in my heart. If you knew me in the world before Ward, I was kind of stodgy, stiff-lipped, maybe even a little cold, maybe even just a wee lil bit sarcastic, a tad snarky.. No one got everything except my children - until Ward. He is not only pleased simply because I exist, he's grateful. The more I give, the more he embraces it - embraces me, and the more I want to give.






I have always striven to find the words to express how it feels, and I think while running errands, sitting at a red light, gathering wool, the perfect descriptive occurred to me. When I drink wine, I feel a warmth that spreads from my belly outwards, through my limbs to my fingers. It is a lazy, luxurious, relaxed feeling. It lowers my inhibitions. It wraps my mind like a soft blanket - warm and fuzzy. Being submissive to Ward is like this, warm, comfortable, pleasurable and intoxicating.





Am I a natural submissive? Shrugs. I am just me. I love my man, and I thrive in giving him my essence.








HIS POV:  
It is a true honor to have witnessed the beauty and be gifted with the glory that comes with such a splendid gift.  The ease of her submission, the completeness of her emotion and the comfort of such fills a man with a pride not before seen.  She may not be a natural submissive, but she is MY submissive and the intoxicating fuzzy feelings that she describe go for me too. It is is an intoxicating melody that plays in my heart, and again, I owe it all to the lovely Ms. June.






20 comments:

  1. That was beautiful!!
    You have a way with words!
    I wish you both all the best,
    Emma

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    1. Oh, thank you very kindly, Emma. We wish you and Steven the very best, too :)

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  2. Lovely post as usual. In my opinion, the bottom line is that Ward accepts all of you which encourages you to be the best woman (who cares about labels) you can be for him. And you accept all of Ward which encourages him to be the best man that he can be for you. To paraphrase an old saying, neither one of you is perfect but you are perfect for each other.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. You summed it up perfectly, Cat :) He inspires me to be better, and he says I do the same for him. I tell him that all the time, when he says he's not perfect, you're perfect for me :)And he's told me that a time or 10 as well, lol.

      Rath Dé ort!

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  3. June,
    Your gentle nature is evident in everything you write. I have a very easy time imagining you as a woman who has naturally submissive traits. I think that people who are blessed with your nature, can be taken advantage or hurt of if they don't have someone like Ward to shelter and protect you. And you ask, what does Ward get from this? To shelter, love and protect you, of course. I think that makes our HoHs feel alive and masculine and makes us love them all the more. :D
    Thanks for the warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I visit here.
    Hugs
    Lillie
    My sheltering protector has gone to bed and I'd better get there too, cause I don't like sleeping on my belly. :)

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    1. Thank you so much, for your kind words, Lillie, I'm humbled. I have been taken advantage of, many times, and yes, having Ward to protect me is the most amazing feeling. It is an unfolding of who I am. I am glad that he seems me as a gift, that the unfolding that is such a gift to me feeds him as well.

      You're most welcome, thanks for being part of our family! I hope you always feel welcomed here. (((hugs)))

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  4. Natural or not June, you go at submission with absolute integrity. It comes out in the way you write and in how honest Ward is when he writes about you. It's neat to read, every single time.

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    1. Thank you so much, Susie. He amazes me every time he writes. It's not that he doesn't tell me these things, but to see it in writing, in concentrated form, is astounding. And me? I'm just me, and I love my man with my all :)

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  5. Lovely post as usual June. I always love your posts, you two are such an amazing couple. I admire your honesty and your integrity in your goal to be the best you can be for Ward and your goals of submission, whether naturally submissive or not.

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    1. Thank you kindly, Roz. Again, I am most humbled. I wish to give him even a fraction of what he gives me. Being with Ward is the most freeing experience of my life, he is deserving of my very best.

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  6. A lot of this resonates with me June. That submissive feeling is also very comforting to me and sometimes it does feel very "meant to be" or natural for me to be that way with my husband. It sounds like you both get a lot out of this:)

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    1. Thank you, Tess, that's a great way to put it - meant to be. It really does feel like...Pinocchio...I feel like I am real for the very first time in my life.

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  7. I am absolutely a natural submissive. I thought it was a weakness until I discovered TTWD. Now I feel so self-actualized. :)

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    1. I did very much feel like it was a weakness, Renee Rose. And I am not to the point where it is ...not ordinary... but accepted as the norm, as something that is not going to disappear yet. I am on the way, I may feel self-actualized, I am getting there, but I still have those ah-ha moments that sometimes quite shock me :)

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  8. That was beautiful to read June, and so touching too, with Wards POV. You write honestly, and from the heart. Thank you for being you, and sharing with us. Hugs

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    1. Thank you, M3, for your kind words. My Ward does write beautifully :) It's funny, I said to Ward that the posts that make me the most uncomfortable to write, the ones that feel like a birthing process to get down are the ones that seem to resonate loudest with others. This one kind of left me a little...unsettled, I guess. I didn't feel it conveyed my thoughts and sentiments clearly enough. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and I love getting the feedback, it helps me understand and clarify how and what I feel.

      Thanks for being you, as well! I so appreciate the friendships and community that have come from this blog.

      (((hugs)))

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  9. Interesting topic, and one I can definitely relate to. A lot of why we do ttwd is because I've got a naturally submissive nature and he's got a naturally dominant edge. So, ttwd is the best way for our personalities to mesh. That said, yes, at times I can seem a little...not submissive, but for the most part, it's something I like to do and something that is a big part of who I am. It was interesting seeing both of your POVs on this one!

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    1. Thanks very much, Riley :) Sometimes I feel like a step out of time with the rest of the world- not in a negative way - in an oh, it makes me sad they are stiff and separate and not connecting kind of way. And it's funny, people watch us when we're out, they are intrigued by what they see...and no, not like that - whoa, grab the camera, Vern, kind of way, but in the way that says they know there is something desirably different in the way we interact.

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  10. I agree that individuals are born with a more submissive/dominate gene but I think the changes in society have caused so many of us to morph into the opposite persona. As much as I want to live my submission daily and take it to the next level; the layers of "the 21st century" always find a way of impeding my success.

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  11. Welcome, takenbyB. I'd have to agree that the social moors have greatly affected how easy it is for a woman to express her submissive nature. I think we've that there is a myth to equality - certainly there should be equitable and fair treatment in the workplace, but in our personal relationships I think that balance is so much more important than equality.

    That's why it's lovely to create sanctuary in our homes, where we can be who we are in our hearts.

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