The Submission Reflex

Because I am who I am, and because I have a need to understand the why...why I am different than most..... why I fit here, why TTWD feeds me, when I look at why I submit I have to understand if there is a biological/physiological/psychological component to submission. Guess what? There is.

We are all familiar with the term "Fight or Flight Response." Heck, many of us experience that response every time we know we have crossed the line and find that we have earned discipline or correction.



So how does fight or flight work? All emotional arousal is received in the amygdala (part of the reptilian brain). In the presence of stress and/or perceived danger sensory data from the thalamus sends sensory information to the hypothalamus, which activates two different body systems. It releases CRF (corticotropin-releasing factor) into the pituitary gland which releases ACTH (adrenocorticotropic hormone) into the bloodstream. ACH arrives at the adrenal cortex (which mediates the body's stress response) and stimulates the release of about 30 different hormones into the blood to prepare the body to deal with the danger.

The hypothalamus also activates the CNS (central nervous system) activating glands and smooth muscles, and releases epinephrine (adrenaline) and norepinephrine. All of this prepares our large muscles to engage, releasing glucose into the blood to fuel those muscles and contracting small blood vessels to divert blood to them (which is why you feel cold), our smooth muscles to relax so we can get more air in our lungs, our pupils dilate to allow more light in, respiration and heart rate and blood pressure increase.

Are you asleep yet? *POKE-POKE-POKEDY-POKE* well wake up! This is where it gets REALLY interesting!

Remember that emotional arousal? Let's look at another path it can take....in the presence of a socially dominant male - marked by things like voice tonality and posture, the scent of testosterone and other pheromones - rather than being interpreted as fear, that arousal is interpreted as attraction! Even though we are not experiencing fear, the physiological response is much the same. Our respiration and pulse accelerate, a tell-tale sign of arousal in women, though is that they will gulp. It is a subconscious reaction to male power,  it is in our make-up. It is a submission reflex. Like most biological/physiological factors, I imagine it is more prominent in some of us and less in others. There are alpha females, they do however bow to the alpha male.



Unconscious submissive gestures include, lowering the eyes, tilting the head down, making the body 'smaller'- in effect, what we would see in the animal word as a less pronounced 'bowing', drawing shoulders in and to the front, arms close to the body and forward with elbows pointed outwards and hands open, the eyes widen signaling vulnerability, gestures and movements will be slow and small to appear vulnerable, voice is  soft and low.

I recognize myself in most of those gestures, without thinking, when Ward turns the key....I'll cover that in another post :)


HIS POV: 
As I would savor June's response to my dominance, I must respond in kind to her submission.  Her beauty, kindness, submissiveness,  femininity, and general lusciousness are things that I delight in.  She opens up to me, and gives me a way in and I see these gestures and her softness and deference speak to the dominance that is within me.

Hormones, coupled with natural response weave our story, a story older than time and more beautiful than an ocean of diamonds.  Her submission is my ambrosia!

Tested

 

The life of a submissive woman is full of tests. There are the conscious tests that our men present us with to help us learn to bend,  to help us stretch our limits, our horizons, our trust. These come as expectations of deference, expectations of obedience, expectations of grace. We are expected to follow the rules we establish for our relationships. As we all know sometimes just everyday life makes simple compliance a test all in itself. And we are tested to take that moment to compose ourselves and not reply with that knee-jerk snappy response, or eye-roll. There are the tests designed to deepen our submission - those calls or texts, with instructions, so that we can feel ourselves under their hands. There are those deepening tests that call us to make more public displays of our submission, wearing some symbol of his control or our submission in public, be it visible or invisible, it is there and we are acutely aware. There are the tests in discipline, a hated implement, a more vigorous than normal spanking, and our efforts to yield gracefully.




There are the tests we give ourselves, in submitting gracefully,  even when it's hard. We try to be anticipatory in service. We try to provide those things that make home refuge without being asked, to provide extraordinary comfort before he knows what he needs. We test ourselves when given the choice to choose an implement and we choose perhaps not our favorite, but his - or one that presents a challenge to us, because doing so signifies our trust and our desire to give him that. We test ourselves when we sense that he needs to feel our submission and we offer ourselves freely to him. We test ourselves in giving our willing hearts, and our softest demeanor.


And there are the tests that life throws our way. These may be the hardest of all because maybe they shake our men as well - the ones that are our anchors, the ones we lean on, the ones we depend on. And it's disconcerting to see them struggle - we want to think that they have all the answers...right now. What happens when they have career decisions to make? What happens when you are in financial negotiations? What happens when someone else holds the future of your family in their hands? This is where you must put your trust in the hands of your HoH. This is his job to handle the negotiations to the best of his ability and steer the ship in the best direction for your family. It is hard, and when you worry and obsess it is the same as saying you do not have confidence in your man.



I can speak on this with confidence because this is where we have been. I give Ward my deference in all things. It is my place to do so, and I relish the giving. There is talk periodically in blogland about layers. I've spoken before about being dismayed to feel I have given my complete submission, and finding another layer... finding a place of resistance... finding a place where I fail. This is my latest layer. People who administrate the process make promises and drag their heels, change the offerings, put things on the table that would cause our family to be separated. And instead of handing my worries to him, I allow distance to grow... so he cannot see my worry, don't you know.

Except that's not what is happening. I'm not shielding him. I am depriving him of comfort and support. I am not being his soft place to land. He needs to know I am in his corner. He needs to know that I trust him to make the right decision. He needs my confidence in his vision for our family. So my darling, I unclamp my fist, and I put this in your hands. I trust you to lead us. I open my heart and give you the love and the need that fed this fear. I acknowledge that this fear was unfounded, because you will always have this family in the fore of your mind. I submit my fear to you.

Worries are nothing more than little puffs of nothings when we are together, when we love and support each other, when we have each other's backs and the best interest of each other, our relationship and our family at heart.

HIS POV: 

June's trust and faith in me shake me to the very core. The thoughts of an HoH, the thoughts of a future more blessed are heavy and browsome indeed. Practicing and honing the art of deference, submission when it is not an easy thing to do is a crown of light unto June and a wreath of stars around her neck.  She is the apple of my eye and again my greatest blessing. The life I lead is not an easy one and I am not always such a easy man to know. Even on the hard days I recognize the effort that she places in her emotion and reaction to things that aren't always easy to hear or when perhaps fatigue has gotten the better of me.  She is always there, always trying, always deepening her submission and always quenching the rampant thirst of my dominance.

Layers of thoughts, dreams, worries, fears are only natural, especially when the sum of the future is held by a larger entity.  But that's it! In this I have found that with June's love, confidence, submission, deference, input, and energy and my determination, strength, dedication and commitment there is no wrong path... As long as she has my back, and as long as I can show her that I have the best interest of our family in mind. The future brings many questions but one thing that is not in question is our love... it grows bright and hot like a curling flame devouring kindling, it swells like a cresting wave, and quenches like cold water on a hot day. Responsibility is a burden, yes, but one that I bear with joy in my heart and determination to see my family lifted and blessed the best way I can.  I may yet continue in service to this country, I may exit and focus on education and the future while working to provide in many other ways...either way this is for my family, all of us, and I will not falter...

"Oh love! Where you are close, I'd hear the beating of your heart... My ear would hear the soft whispers of your heart... your worries, your dreams, I must demand them... I will take them and I will not fail you. I will guard your heart, as you would guard mine and in our love we will shake the very heavens." ~BTL

The positive effects of a good spanking

Have you ever sat and considered the impact of a evening devoted to a good, thorough spanking and  earth-shaking love-making and pleasure?  Normally this is something that we probably wouldn't talk about here, but the potential benefits are worth discussing and using.  Throughout the time that June and I have written this blog, we have come to understand that several folks out there are... what's the term?  "spank-nos".  Even still, when we consider the impact that stress can have, we must understand the value that a good firm spanking can bring to the table.  I tell June all the time and I think it's worth repeating here.... Good girls get firm spankings too, it helps them stay good, and in combination to deep, truly connective  intimacy that  smooths away the aches and stresses of the day and bring us to that special place that can only be reached by a man being intimate with his woman.  Stress relief spanking require a lot of forethought and communication. It should be made clear that this is not correction or punishment, but in fact a conduit for relief and rebalance through the vigorous application of positive and direct energies.  It also becomes necessary to find (or make) time to get the most out of this carefully considered time.




 Making love is clearly an important part of any healthy relationship. I think some people don't realize it's true value and in some instances, might minimize or underrate the worth of spending quality time giving and receiving pleasure from our partners.  There is something very spiritual about making love, in addition to the sights and sounds that make our blood boil and our passions rise, it seems only fitting that sex can open many doors, heal many wounds, smooth over feelings and reconnect after periods of heightened stress and emotion.  The true value of physical release is in the freedom it brings, us.  Less talking, less thinking, passion and unconditional embrace - these things are always important.



The following section is just a series of suggestions.  We'd highly recommend trying one or more of these out!




 If you don't already June and I would highly recommend establishing a "Date Night".   Find a sitter, have the kids spend the night with Grandma etc... Go see a movie, go watch dinner, Redbox it, go bowling, spend some time laughing, and celebrating the unique bond that you share.  Spend some time giving her a bubble bath or a pedicure and really spend some time pampering her... Relaxation is the key here.









Before you give her the spanking she needs, spend some time spoiling her, talk to her, let her know that she has your complete and undivided attention. When the time comes, take her in hand and give her the spanking she needs. By the spanking that she needs, I mean take the time to observe her, know her body language and the weight of her heart... Drive out the stress and take the time to show her that this is as important to you as it is for her.  No distractions, no half-hearts only pure and unblemished love.  Hold her close, let her emote, and let the stress vanish with the conviction of your hearts.

Give her the time she needs to  feel it, hold her in your arms and be there for her. Leave only room for love and light..... Kiss her slow and soft, and then let your love for each other and your bodies do all of the talking.







We think spanking can be a very useful and wonderful part of a healthy relationship. Even in the context of pleasure and stress relief we find new meaning and a wonderful use of time and passion. We recommend it!



                                            

Her POV:
When I suffer stress, or when I suffer emotional pain, I need to be spanked. It is a way - for me - to take the emotional pain and transfer it to flesh - and poof - all gone. A calm relaxed girl who can move through the day without the heaviness in my heart, not feeling guilt if I feel I have been short or less than I wish to be, or my heart is just not where I like it to be. At those times the greatest gift he can give me is the gift of release.

I am a very fortunate girl. Daddy is very sensitive to my mood. And generally he will approach me and whisper in my ear that he knows what I need, and that he will take good care of me...and he always does. Other times I may text or email him at work, and tell him I need his help when he gets home. And sometimes, it's simply a way for us to reconnect after a long week of chores and responsibilities, school - his, mine, the boys'  - for me to feel his delicious control, and for me to be able to bend. That for me is heaven, that puts my brain in that light, dreamy place. It lets me relinquish the negativity that seeps in, and absorb Daddy's love and light. It lets us start fresh and rejuvenated. And it lets this insomniac sleep sweet and undisturbed. For that gift, for his attention and devotion, I am grateful.

Commitment

                                                                  
                                                  
                                               

I want to talk about commitment.  It's a word that I fear that some would take too lightly.  Real commitment whether that is to a task, a job, or to others speaks volumes about one's character and leaves an impression that will not easily be forgotten. Commitment is also easier said than given, especially in a world that increasingly caters to the "easy" or  "instant gratification" crowd. Commitment tests our patience, our willingness to set aside our own ego, our own desires and reveals the true measure and depth of a person's character.  Some ten years or so ago, when I was a much younger man, I  put my hand on God's word and I took an oath... I made a big commitment at a time when perhaps I didn't understand what real commitment was about.

                                                                               

                                                                                                                  

Oh aye, the military definitely influenced the way I speak, the way I think, the way I behave (even now).  Suddenly a young man apart, far away from everything and everyone he ever knew was  thrust into a new and more expectant world that demanded results and expected performance.  Commitment meant not only following orders, and drastically altering my appearance, or getting up at 0-dark hundred, which occurs half an hour before 0-dark thirty.  It was a new lifestyle, a new role and a new ideology.

Then came stress... I can't and in some cases won't go into specifics, but suffice to say that I've been through some things that made me doubt my place in my life, my relationships prior to June, everything. Some time ago I had the fortune to be introduced to and learn so much from a very good friend, whose influence inspired my own personal take on DD/TTWD and the wisdom and growth that individuals and couples can experience. 

                                                                                                          

                                                   

With June, I have been committed from the beginning. Committed to my job as her Husband, her protector, her leader, her lover, her best friend. Being committed on these particular terms is a labor of love and a true conduit for the reciprocity that we present to each other daily. Even when it isn't easy or fun or one of us isn't at our best showing, and displaying the grace and direction of dedication, commitment inspires and causes us to appreciate each other and what we see as important to our relationship and to each other. Sometimes being committed means taking time to connect to June or the boys when I am dead tired or looking forward to something else... but if a HoH isn't dedicated to his family and their needs, what's the point?  I realize that sometimes being a good HoH for my darling and being a good example for our boys means showing them that commitment means

                                                

                                                                   

                                                    

- Being a provider

- Completing the tasks that you have been given, even and especially when we find them distasteful or difficult

- That when you start something, you finish it

-  A real man and a real woman don't fold up like a two-dollar lawn chair when things don't go their way or real life sneaks up on them

- Doing a job that you don't enjoy, is difficult or exhausting to provide your family with their needs and some of the stuff they want, is indeed honorable.

I also have to be a steady and sure example for June and more than just tell her, show her the kind of committed solidarity that neither of us had before each other... I show her by

- Listening
- Giving her my full and undivided attention
- Following through with what I say
- Granting her access to my mind and body even when I ache
- Doing my best for us and each other every single day.

Commitment and DD/TTWD go hand in hand and it is easy to see how any kind of relationship benefits and grows with the careful and thoughtful application of  consistency and commitment. When you are tired, when you are achy, when you just want a moment to yourself, take a second and think. Show your partner your best, even when they are at their worst... Commitment makes us and our stronger for the effort!




                                                 

Her POV:

I have long been dismayed by our disposable society. When things become  inconvenient we give them away, children, pets, the ill, the elderly. We shouldn't have to try harder, evaluate ourselves, extend ourselves, find a way through.This society teaches us to find our way around, to find our way out.

I have always poured all that I had into every relationship, from the very first. Beaten and broken I was offered a way out of the womb donor's house, and replied that I could not, she needed me. Relationship after relationship would find me unhappy, talking to my partner, not getting what I needed and resolving I would double my efforts, be more, do more, love harder.... had to be me, right? Partners out of work, me working four jobs seven days a week, working 16 - sometimes 20 hours a day to get us through. Them, bored, you're always working, you never have time, going out with friends, friends become lovers.When did any of that become okay? When did it become  okay to walkaway from your children because the new girlfriend is much more fascinating? Or stop having them over because the girlfriend treats them poorly.

I'm not perfect, never have been, never will be, never claimed to be, not even close. When I give you my word I will pour my blood, sweat and honest intent into upholding my commitment. When did commitment become an option? When I pledged to love and protect my children, I meant ... mean still, that I will protect them with my life. When I pledged myself and my love to Ward, I meant and reaffirm every day, in every single thought, word, and deed... that I will give him my all, my purest, fiercest, undying, ever-growing love, my deference, my obeisance, my support, my fullest effort, my devotion, the full measure of perfectly imperfect me ...when the sun is shining, when it's warm, when it's easy, and even when I'm tired, even when I am bone weary, even when my heart and mind, and body and soul ache.

This time around, though, it is returned, and that is warm, and comforting ... even on the hardest of days....it gives me strength... it elevates me and makes me better.

Once again, my love, I commit myself to you and to our family. I commit my heart, my mind, my body, my soul, my love and devotion, my obedience, my submission to you. It honors me that you accept. I love you.

The No-Shutdown Rule

                                                      

    There are times in a DD/TTWD relationship that discipline and correction will be a dreaded but  necessary action that  requires a clear mind, a firm hand, and an open, honest heart.  I've talked about discipline and correction in other posts before, but in this post I'd like to illustrate the importance of connectivity, even during correction, unmet expectations, or hurt feelings.

Sometimes it can be difficult to express the let-down that we feel in our partner's actions, non-actions and potentially careless words or deeds. That's why June and I feel that communication and expression are vital to us and our interpretation of this lifestyle. Sometimes irritation, disappointments, hurt feelings, etc. can cloud  the effectiveness of  what we are really trying to communicate. I know that I can be fairly adamant about my expectations and when they should be met. In most instances June and I are very much on the same page, but there have been a few occasions where she or I were off the mark and needed to take a few min to get emotion out of the picture, think clearly and not let hurt or anger get the best of us.

                                                      

 

We also believe that taking time is one thing, but drawing out an unresolved problem is unhealthy and unnecessary.  Shutting down is never acceptable in our house. I mean I have to think that if I am the HoH and I am to effectively lead and guide my family, that it is even LESS acceptable for me to start shutting down and be non-communicative. In the beginning this was something that I struggled with and no, I'm not proud of that. June got me thinking and talking and for me that was a major, major step, even outside DD/TTWD. I've never been in a relationship that made communication so easy, so fluid, and so welcome and even despite my attempts to clam-up and keep to myself, our love won out and I found my voice.  We think that it is far better to put things on the table, refine our thoughts, and turn towards the relationship in order to clear the air and move forwards before the sun sets.  Letting an issue stagnate can only lead to hard feelings, and cracks in the armor of our relationships and our own interaction.

                                            


  When  June and I discussed the foundation of our relationship we realized that one of the things that makes BOTH of us better is accountability and while I may not be the one on the receiving end of a good spanking, the standards of our relationship must, do and in fact apply to a higher standard for me. We often tell our youngest to "use your words" and that's something that I do in fact have to tell myself.... I'll be honest in that regard.  I'm like a lot of men, I don't want to talk about it... but being the man, the man my wife and children look to for answers, the head of our home, has taught me that I can't afford to do that anymore... That and June will, and in fact should, call me on that.  If it came down to it, she would place herself across my lap and have me spank her until I could communicate the emotions that I was feeling and how we can get to a better place.



                                                   

 Harmony can be disrupted fairly easily, sometimes we don't take notice of the small things our partners do to enrich our lives and our families. Sometimes it seems as if our partners don't care, or like what is important to us isn't important to them and that can and does hurt. Nobody likes to have their thoughts or feelings marginalized and I think that puts the onus on the HoH to ensure that there is no shut-down, no loss of communication and no distances that can hurt the relationship in either the long or short-term.  Take the time to put your emphasis on getting to a shared place of comfort that  has the strength and conviction to move forward despite discomfort, hurt feelings and/or anger.... The relationship benefits and let's be honest, folks, there are way better things to be doing at the end of the day than fighting or not talking to each other... just sayin!

                                                     

                                                         

Her POV:

This has been my greatest challenge. Because of my life, it has always been safer to shut-down. If you let them see how you were affected, or that you were hurt or bothered, it only got worse. I was very good at stuffing things down. Daddy does not allow this...not in the very least. The first time, during a conversation about the necessity of communicating what I felt, he used the phrase - passive-aggressive.....just cut me to the very core. He's right...he always is (sighs....schnoots to Daddy ALWAYS being right!....jk). It is passive aggressive. I wasn't aware of it. My tone was clipped, my answers short. "Yes, Daddy" became an eyes down "yes" .... shudders. But those were just the motions of our dynamic, it was not authentic.

Then we got to a different place. I would communicate... not right away. Sometimes I needed that moment to stuff down that eye roll, or that sarcastic remark and think about how I really felt and filter my emotions. It got me spanked. Why? I didn't communicate that I needed a moment to process, that I wasn't distancing myself from him, from us, but that I was using a minute to work things out in the framework of our relationship and be able to bring it to him respectfully. So I got spanked. Then we talked. He apologized. And I said if I need that moment, how about if I saw, "Daddy, I need a minute to process, please." Then he knows I am not shutting down.

It works. It lets us both know that we are present for each other, and for our relationship. He can do this too... and he has, "Daddy needs a moment to sort this out, lovey. We'll talk about this later (or tonight)." This space gives us the opportunity to enumerate our points, make sure we understand what we need, and frame them in the best possible way to serve our relationship.

I will call him on it. In TTWD I am very much accountable to him. But he is also accountable to me, to our God, and to our family as the head of our home, Distancing is so damaging. There is nothing in the world wrong with holding him accountable....respectfully. I did it wrong in the beginning..."You know what would happen to me if I did what you're doing?" YIKES! But as soft hand on his shoulder, or his leg, or just curling up beside him and winding my fingers with his, a soft kiss and a,"Daddy, distance is against our rules. I think we need to talk about what's on your mind.", or yes, laying across his lap... sometimes both. If the air needs to be cleared, this is the mechanism we have established to do so. No, not correction, discipline, we all need it... it goes hand in hand with accountability.

And the bottom line - heck yeah, there are better things we can be doing :)

Meme's of Ward and June that I love and really do kinda resemble us ;-)

 

Hands down my favorite. Forehead kisses are the best!

Mmmmmhmmmm, that about looks like us!

And just where is your other hand, Ward?? Yup, yup- that looks like us, too...no wonder I love to cook ;)

Yes in fact I do glow like that in the light of his love :)

 

 I love this one, too, they have a secret...wonder what it is?






Ward and June get naughty~!

               Ward! Not in front of our company, Dear!

Last one upstairs is a rotten egg!

HIS POV:
June has done a wonderful job of capturing the playful, soft and loving aspects of our relationship... We look cute together if I do say so myself!

Hungry for Each Other

                                                                

                                           

                                      

I've said it before and I'll say it again... One of the most important things a couple can do is make time for each other.  Life is busy and difficult enough as it is, but once we step past the threshold of our homes, life doesn't stop.  I'm tired often, sometimes very tired, but I know that I still have expectations to meet as the HoH of this family.  I make an effort to meet the challenges and needs of my family.  The boys have homework that needs to be done,  and as much as I love the boys, I'm going to be very honest... they are a load, June needs some time for herself.. As much as I'd love to go grab a beer and sit down to Sports Center, I know that it benefits our relationship when I ensure that she gets some time to reset, relax and do some things she wants to do, but it's more than that too.  Meeting the challenges of a TTWD/DD relationship has many benefits and when we meet these challenges it keeps us hungry for each other. 

To me, being hungry means craving her in all ways.  I crave the sharpness of her mind (June is a smart cookie). She'll say she is just herself but she is much more creative and intelligent than she gives herself credit for. Her intelligence and her opinions often mirror my own and  I find the sharpness of her mind alluring. I crave her body,  She brings me much comfort and delight at the end of long days. Her warm, waiting embrace and pleasurable form bring me much pleasure and delight. I crave her spirit. Her warmth and her kindness inspire me often... I know I may be biased folks, but in truth June is the finest woman that I have ever had the privilege of knowing. Her dedication and vigilance to what we have and how we can learn from our mistakes and the wisdom of folks here touches me and make me want her close to me.

                                                                                                  

                                                       

 I'm pretty sure that not many of you would be surprised if I told you that I am a bit of a romantic. I think it's important to be available to one's partner mentally and physically.  Sometimes it's as simple as her saying "Honey I've had a hard day and I need to relieve some stress" or sometimes it's the fact that she knows me well enough to see what I need... Sometimes she crawls over my knee, sometimes she knows that what I need is much simpler, she knows her man's desire and just how to best satisfy it.

                                                          

 Staying hungry for each other is important part of  TTWD/DD or really any relationship.  The effort and time that both partners put into truly giving each other their best, becomes a vital skill that pays dividends in both the long and short term. 

-  A deeper attentiveness
-  A deeper appreciation for the things we do for each other
-  An insanely high libido increase
-  A warmth that  spreads throughout our home
-  A understanding of each other that is deeper for each other
-  A deep desire to only improve, even through setbacks or disagreements, a true hunger for each other.


                                                  



Finding time or making time for each other remains a priority, even with the kids, school, work and making ends meet, we continue to find ways to show each other how important we are.  We highly recommend exploring your options and finding ways to show each other how you feel and what emotions and passion that you evoke in each other.  Send the kids to grandma's, Check out that Bed and Breakfast, plan a romantic weekend away. The time we give our partners is precious. Give each other your best!

                                                      

Her POV:

Ward is a very effective leader, both in his work life and his home life. He is caring, compassionate, intuitive, firm and consistent. When he shares the things he does, it is not someone just hypothesizing, he shares what works for us because he walks his talk. This is a most amazing thing for me... I've never had anyone who did that before.This is intimacy...intimacy is not a quick tumble in the blankets, intimacy begins in the mind and in the heart.

Which brings to mind another thought...and old thought....one of June's favorite thoughts....redundant much?  Reciprocity! (Oh, stop that groaning!) I have said over the last few posts, that I enjoy serving Ward, and I enjoy doing things for him with a full, loving and submissive heart. It can make the simplest of acts an act of love and submission.It can make the larger acts of submission a prayer.

Where is the reciprocity? He serves me as well. When he sees me take a deep breath and close my eyes because I have listened to my 7,463rd whine of the day, and he steps in and handles it, or takes the task from my hand and tells me to go take a break, or he tells me to sit so he can do the dishes, or pulls the laundry basket between us and starts folding, or senses my sense of agitation and takes my hand and leads me to our room and closes the door and pulls me across his lap....when he texts me an instruction because he knows I revel in his Dominance, he is taking the time to show that he knows- feels- sees- acknowledges and cares about all the things that affect me. He is quick to kiss a - but you had a hard day, too - protest straight off my lips (YUMMY), pat me on the butt and send me off so that I can be my best for him and for us. 

Am I hungry for him? All the bloody time. I long for the curve of his jaw, his stubble, his scent, his touch, his laugh, his voice, his humor, his patience in the hours he is absent. I crave it. My heart squeezes when he sighs and rolls out of the bed for work, and it never really stops till he walks back in the door. He is my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night, he fills my dreams, he fills my heart. And what we create...it feeds him, it feeds me, it feeds our children and shows them that life can be extraordinary.