One of the most beautiful gifts that June ever gave me was the gift of her submission. Through communication, diligence and just knowing the amazing lady that she is, I have found that our lifestyle, TTWD, and the occasional (usually daily) spanking gives her the things she needs to be able to thrive and be the most happy. The honored (and it is a true honor) position of being the head of our home is one that I find humbling and beautiful. When she submits to me it gives me purpose... makes me stronger... If there's one thing that bolsters me more than anything it's the sweet softness that she graces me with and leaves me in charge of.
She makes me want to be the best man I can be for her and her submission makes me see the world in a different light. Sometimes I play the roll of fixer, teacher, doctor, or disciplinarian, but though I wear many hats, I think the true source of power for any couple is always love. Through love we found ourselves and I think that is the answer to "What does the spanker/HoH/Top get out of it". I really can't answer for other men, but I think for me it is the chance to be what I have always been, the chance to help something beautiful grow into something intangible to others, to watch our sons grow into strong, intelligent men, to be the difference in a world that has often times left me feeling like I had no place... until June. The ability to lead and guide and make a difference to three very special people who have changed my life for the better.
Being the HoH is one of the greatest things I have achieved, I guess the way that it can best be put is that it "Feels like home" Some of the other elements that make our love, our relationship all the brighter is our constant communication and a physical openess that is different than most other couples. We are constantly holding hands or near each other. Sometimes a perfect night ends with us holding hands on the couch or me gently rubbing her tired feet or gently massaging her calves. Touch is a powerful thing and even beyond the obvious a physical connection is a very powerful thing. Sometimes after a hard day she rubs my back and even if I have had the worst day ever it turns me into a unapologetic romantic.
I guess we differ than some DD couples in that we have a deep, deep passion for spanking. In addition to discipline, and stress relief we have found that it is actually a relationship enhancer for both of us. She handles things better when she is spanked regularly and for both of us it enforces our roles within our relationship in a healthy and beautiful way.
In closing I'll say it again... to June, to you all... What do I get out of this? My answer? Everything.
Ward honors me with his words. And again, there exists this lovely reciprocity. His dominance allows me to submit, my submission allows him to lead. And it is comfortable, and he IS my home. We are a little different than some other DD couples, I suppose, in that we are spankos. I DO need it and often. It does help me to deal with things more effectively, calmly.
Does being spanked feel the same to me as it does to some other women? Heck yeah, it hurts. And in the moment I may wonder what I was thinking. My need is more about the things that surround it. It's feeling my place, feeling his guidance, it's feeling his dominance, it's being able to let go and be vulnerable to him, it's letting go of the things that eat away at confidence and serenity.
At the heart of it, both of us are deeply spiritual. We both believe that the design of the creator is for the male energy to lead, to assume headship, and for the female energy to submit, to follow, to be helpmeet. We believe that this does not preclude communication, or reciprocity in a genuine listening to each other, deference, respect, genuine deep affection and love. We believe that we are charged with nurturing and giving to the world two people who will bring betterment to it. We believe that the creator, in an ultimate act of kind and loving generosity gave us each to the other, us and our children.
Thank you, my love, for sharing your heart, and your words, and for answering my questions. I love our communication. And I love you.