Monday, September 24, 2012

What I get out of it

One of the most beautiful gifts that June ever gave me was the gift of her submission.  Through communication, diligence and just knowing the amazing lady that she is, I have found that our lifestyle, TTWD, and the occasional (usually daily) spanking gives her the things she needs to be able to thrive and be the most happy.  The honored (and it is a true honor) position of being the head of our home is one that I find humbling and beautiful. When she submits to me it gives me purpose... makes me stronger...  If there's one thing that bolsters me more than anything it's the sweet softness that she graces me with and leaves me in charge of.





She makes me want to be the best man I can be for her and her submission makes me see the world in a different light.  Sometimes I play the roll of fixer, teacher, doctor, or disciplinarian, but though I wear many hats, I think the true source of power for any couple is always love.  Through love we found ourselves and I think that is the answer to "What does the spanker/HoH/Top get out of it".  I really can't answer for other men, but I think for me it is the chance to be what I have always been, the chance to help something beautiful grow into something intangible to others, to watch our sons grow into strong, intelligent men, to be the difference in a world that has often times left me feeling like I had no place... until June. The ability to lead and guide and make a difference to three very special people who have changed my life for the better.










 Being the HoH is one of the greatest things I have achieved, I guess the way that it can best be put is that it "Feels like home"  Some of the other elements that make our love, our relationship all the brighter is our constant communication and a physical openess that is different than most other couples.  We are constantly holding hands or near each other.  Sometimes a perfect night ends with us holding hands on the couch or me gently rubbing her tired feet or gently massaging her calves.  Touch is a powerful thing and even beyond the obvious a physical connection is a very powerful thing.  Sometimes after a hard day she rubs my back and even if I have had the worst day ever it turns me into a unapologetic romantic. 











I guess we differ than some DD couples in that we have a deep, deep passion for spanking.  In addition to discipline, and stress relief we have found that it is actually a relationship enhancer for both of us.  She handles things better when she is spanked regularly and for both of us it enforces our roles within our relationship in  a healthy and beautiful way.










In closing I'll say it again... to June, to you all... What do I get out of this?  My answer?  Everything.


Her POV:
Ward honors me with his words. And again, there exists this lovely reciprocity. His dominance allows me to submit, my submission allows him to lead. And it is comfortable, and he IS my home. We are a little different than some other DD couples, I suppose, in that we are spankos. I DO need it and often. It does help me to deal with things more effectively, calmly.

Does being spanked feel the same to me as it does to some other women? Heck yeah, it hurts. And in the moment I may wonder what I was thinking. My need is more about the things that surround it. It's feeling my place, feeling his guidance, it's feeling his dominance, it's being able to let go and be vulnerable to him, it's letting go of the things that eat away at confidence and serenity.

At the heart of it, both of us are deeply spiritual. We both believe that the design of the creator is for the male energy to lead, to assume headship, and for the female energy to submit, to follow, to be helpmeet. We believe that this does not preclude communication, or reciprocity in a genuine listening to each other, deference, respect, genuine deep affection and love. We believe that we are charged with nurturing and giving to the world two people who will bring betterment to it. We believe that the creator, in an ultimate act of kind and loving generosity gave us each to the other, us and our children.

Thank you, my love, for sharing your heart, and your words, and for answering my questions. I love our communication. And I love you.

19 comments:

  1. What a beautiful love-centered tribute to each other! It's always refreshing to read a husband's perspective on his wife's submission. Thank you, Ward and June, for sharing this inspiring post.

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    1. Thanks for reading, Old Fashioned Marriage. Yes, I agree, I always enjoy reading the male perspective.

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    1. Thanks so much, Cat! He has a way, yes?

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  3. Thank you Ward and June. Really beautiful. I was blessed in reading.

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    1. Thanks so much, SNP. We're honored by your words.

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  4. I'm so glad you brought up the spirituality aspect. I'm not particularly religious, I don't even pretend to know if there is or isn't a god, but regardless of why it's there, there are energies that flow between us. Everyone has masculine and feminine energies, it's just men usually have more masculine energy and women have more feminine energy. Feminine energy is submissive, the problem is the word submissive has become this derogatory thing instead of something that should be celebrated and cherished. Some people find so derogatory I've actually received flak for it on my own blog. It's weird, I've wrote in detail before about how men and women interact with each other, what they generally seek in each other, ect, and why there's this flow of dominant and submissive energy that flows between us. Some people seem to read things on it, then completely ignore it and say "You're just saying women should submit to men because of the fact they're women". I mean I guess to a point I'm saying that, but it's not like I'm saying it's for everyone, and it complete ignores all the pragmatic facts of why. The flow of dominant male energy and submissive female energy is beautiful and natural. Anyways though, you might enjoy this, it's something I came across a while ago and always loved
    http://disciplinedfeminist.blogspot.com/2007/11/feminism-power-of-giving-way.html

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    1. Thanks for reading, Musings. Ward and I are the same, spiritual though not necessarily religious (we have a problem with how the Word is sometimes interpreted). Yes, exactly as you say, I have struggled with getting non- DD/D/s people to understand that this lifestyle does not subjugate or objectify me, but that I am loved more deeply, more richly, more unconditionally that ever in all of my years.

      Thanks so much for the link, I did enjoy reading it! And thanks for pointing the way to your blog, I'll be playing catch up in the spare moments :)

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  5. Dear Ward and June, thank you so much for this post. What a beautiful reminder of the interchange between two people in love. I have been pushing back with Luther recently, bored and ready to go but this has reminded me to trust him: to know what is best for me and to lead our family in a direction best for us! Ward, how sensitive you are to June, knowing her and loving her. And thank you for taking time to share, it will be one I will ask L to read to me. He enjoys reading other HoH's perspective. Even said that if I wanted, he would write a post for me(but no choosing his topic) lol... June, you are so blessed AND a blessing to Ward and your children.

    Love, Isabella

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    1. Thanks for reading, Isabella. I am extraordinarily blessed, and I thank the creator every day for Ward and our children. I try to express that by living with grace and gratitude in my perfectly imperfect way. I am pleased if that blesses them as well :)

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  6. Beautiful post, thank you for sharing. You truly have an amazing relationship. Ward, what a lovely tribute to June and her submission, it is great to hear the HoH perspective on submission and what it means to him.

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    1. Thank you, Roz, this is the most amazing relationship I have ever had in my life. I am awed, humbled and very grateful that this incredible man feels these things for me.

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  7. Absolutely beautiful testimony of an ideal relationship in a marriage, I think!

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    1. Thanks very kindly, bobcat. I know that it feels perfect :)

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  8. Thanks for such lovely comments everyone. June and I really love your feedback and we would extend a big thank you for taking time to comment on our humble blog. We find that this lifestyle suits us and gives us the tools to work towards our most effective, and efficient communication. We are very blessed. Thanks again folks!


    ~Ward

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  9. When reading both perspectives you truly get a 'complete' picture. Thank you.

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    1. Thanks for reading, Minelle. I like being able to do it here, it gives us both a chance to elucidate clearly. And you know - as Ricky said (http://whomeyayou.blogspot.com/2012/09/our-story-from-my-perspective-part-1.html?zx=71b857ba45ff5aa7) manspeak is practically unintelligible in conversation *ducks*

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  10. What a beautiful post, I loved hearing from both of you. You sound really great together!

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    1. Thanks so much, Riley. For me this is what I always dreamed of and thought was only a fairy tale. Today was a fairy tale...yesterday was a fairy tale....every day of forever is our happily ever after.

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