Saturday, July 14, 2012

Who we are - for Anonymous

This is another post that I had a seed for, but not nearly enough content to do anything with. Well, recent developments in blogland have given me the direction to go with my seed thought.

In the past weeks our community has been accused of being false Christians, we have been accused of being disgusting, we have been accused of using our lifestyles to fly in the face of the principles of freedom for which our military fights, we have been accused of being perverts. These accusations  have come always from an anonymous poster, who in some circumstances has proposed to be a Christian. The language used is vigorous, in some cases offensive, and it is always aggressive.

"I am giving you a new command. You must love each other just as I have loved you. When you love each other, everyone will know that you are my disciples." (John 13:34-35)

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

So, anonymous, let me tell you about the people in this, our community, people you do not know, and people you feel qualified to judge. We defer to our husbands. We respect and honor them with our actions and our words. They in turn honor and protect us. We have an uncommon understanding and communication in our relationships and our families.

We do not judge our friends. When we do not understand, we ask. We may share the practice of submission to our men. but our expressions of that submission are vastly different. We listen to each other, and while we may not subscribe to another's expression, we do not criticize. We see the beauty in their way, and can understand and appreciate their authenticity.

When we misunderstand each other, or when we believe that we have wronged, or offended another, be it our partner, or a friend, we apologize- sincerely. We make peace. We extend our hands. When our friends are hurting, we gather and express our support. When our friends are attacked, we gather the wagons. We are a community.

So, anonymous, if the choice is to be counted in a community of people bristling with self-perceived righteous indignation, or into this community of false Christians, disgusting, perverts - I will clearly stand with this group of people who show more honor and grace in a single interaction than you have managed to spread in days.


Truly what June has said resonates with my own personal feelings and the true essence of our relationship and our relationship to other fine folks within this small but wonderful community.  I have learned so very much about life from this beautiful lady that I call mine, she has taught me to be a better man, a better leader, and to be a source of support for our brothers and sisters in this fine community.  I am not as familiar with some of you, and I am not quite as prolific in posting, but I look forward to fixing that, and I promise that I will always be an open ear for you all, I want to thank you for your staunch support of my blog and my lady, both of which have been a truly invaluable source of inspiration and knowledge to us both.

To Anonymous:

Sir or Madame, I hope you have learned something.  I really do,  it would be easy to be angry or crass with someone such as you.

I mean you make it hard to be civil, especially when...

- I don't appreciate your general rudeness
- If you where so bothered by what you found here why did you come?  This is not the kind of blog you find by accident.
- I would defend my Lady's honor staunchly and completely
- If you read anything about us or our blog you would know better than to post what you did.
- I would have you think twice about attacking someone on the basis of faith, you know nothing of me or my commitment to my faith and spirituality.  I am a Christian man and I work to honor my commitment to my spirituality, my family and my community

I pity you, and instead of vinegar I offer you wisdom and kindness.  In this strange and beautiful world you will find people of many sizes, colors, creeds, religions and orientations, you may not condone what they do, approve of their lifestyle or agree with them in general, but there is one thing you can do.  Treat everyone you encounter with dignity, respect and kindness... If you can do these things you will grow as a person and improve the world around you exponentially.


  1. The labels on this post here just made me laugh - so many. A communication within themselves.

    June, you have a way with rational thought that is beautifully expressed. I love that about you.

    It occurs to me that our crime is really that we speak aloud about our private relationships. I noted that when I was an unattached single gal, everyone always wanted to hear my sexcapades - they lived vicariously - but the second I clearly settled down, no one cared or wanted to know more. Until this random blog land. And frankly, it requires a bit of kink to get people interested (doesn't it)?

    Sometimes, I think I write just to share the amazing sex I get to have with my husband. Because no one IRL wants to hear it. Sigh.

    And so, it is not the spanking or the submission or the names that fall from our lips that I think is really the crime, it is the temerity to share that which is sacred. The love that we make.

    And I, for one, plan to keep on doing that. Because it is important for girls AND boys to see what a communicating, up-front couple looks like, no matter what their flavor.

    1. I love this comment., Kitty. And I love the word 'sacred'. I do indeed consider what Ward and I share to be sacred. And the fellow bloggers I tend to gravitate towards express that same sentiment about that relationships. Mostly as affirmation, sometimes for strength and guidance, and always for community.

      The human animal seeks community, needs it to survive. The strongest and longest lived among us have strong supportive communities. Yes! And (don't choke nowanonymous) our children have benefit of observing relationships full of open, honest communication, love, mutual respect and responsibility.

    2. Lol and that's funny but I never noticed... I DO pay particular attention to making the tags cover the most important points on the post. Can you tell I'm an anal retentive Virgo? : D

    3. This could be its own post, Kitty.

    4. Lol - I thought the same thing, Conina :)

  2. I didn't realize that anonymous was continuing to make the rounds and be a pain.

    This post is beautifully written and true...and I agree with you wholeheartedly.

    1. Hi, Susie, oh yes, anonymous hit my last post on 'Being Daddy's little girl'. Daddy and I are totally unphased - I much prefer who we are,in this lovely community, and I prefer being the couple that sparkle and shine & who people remark on in the street.

      Thank you! This community IS that community from the past where you check on your neighbors, stop by on your way to the store to see if you can pick something up for them, and hold their hands when things get difficult. Much more palatable to me :)

  3. I just started seeing the anonymous commenter making the rounds again. The judgment fairly drips from their comments, which sickens me and really, really pisses me off.

    Then I just feel bad for them, they obviously are not happy, though they purport to be. They also seem to feel that in deriding us and our lifestyle, that somehow makes them better. It may make them feel better about themselves for a moment, but it does nothing about addressing their own long term happiness. I usually end up coming to the conclusion that they are jealous of the awesomeness of our relationships. They want what we have and are too afraid to pursue whatever it is that will bring them what we have. I didn't have a chance to comment on your last post, but let me say now, it truly touched me.

    1. I kind of think the same thing, faerie. I don't see anything like us anywhere, the closest is my dad & stepmom,and even they have their moments where they are a bit...short with each other, and keep a secret here and there.

      I know that if I did not have what I do, I would want it - there is nothing in this world, or in all of my years that has been as good as this. There is not a human being in this world who knows my heart and my mind like my Daddy does. There is no one who feeds my heart and soul like my Daddy.

      Thanks very much, faerie. It is very much spiritual, very much sacred, and I hold my Daddy and out relationship in reverence and awe.

      And this community? Warm, loving, supportive, what this world used to be before it became politically correct. I, for my part, am very proud to be non-politically correct, and to defer to my wise and wonderful man.

  4. I think you dealt with the whole thing beautifully, June.

    And, as I so often do, I echo Kitty's sentiments, almost verbatim. There was only so much going on about awesome sex and amazing true love that my friends would tolerate.

    1. Sorry, Conina, your comment was floating around somewhere in the nebulous regions of the spam box - I've checked there before & not seen it - weird...

      Thank you very kindly. I, too, agree wholeheartedly. Even our children (who I brought with me into my relationship with Ward, but who he considers as his own, and to them, he IS their Dad) know that what this family has is something special. They hear words that are harsh and often vulgar, and see anger and fighting when they visit their friend's homes, and ALL the kids gravitate here, to our home. It's a place of peace and comfort and that's just how we like it.

      And of course, one of the amazing benefits of TTWD is AMAZING sex and the truest of true loves.

  5. Very well said by all- I applaud your response and tolerance to being attacked. I doubt that I could respond as gracefully. I this that "anonymous" is like any other mean girl- jealous of what you have and full of self loathing- you can't love or tolerate others if you don't first love yourself. Thanks for sharing so mucha and so openly so that the rest of us can learn and grow ourselves!

    1. Thanks very much, Mrs. Soft Bottom! My Daddy's the cat's pjs, isn't he? I'm so happy to have him home. It would only have made anonymous say - 'See I was right - EVIL!'. But we, in my family, (and this community in general) are better than that, I have a very wise leader, as you can see.

  6. I really like the way you two addressed this. Very well written post in response to someone who is apparently just trying to cause trouble.

    1. Thanks very much, Suzie. Surely anonymous is undeterred, but so are we. It just kind of chafes when they judge good people. Sometimes it helps to remind them that even the creator, whatever name you choose to call him by, only requires us to be loving and authentic.


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