Wednesday, August 8, 2012

So you feel a little bratty?





I've been thinking a lot lately, not always safe, just ask Daddy - I sometimes think way too much. But this thinking has not been bad thinking....this thinking as been pondering/figuring stuff out thinking.




What am I pondering about? Why I'm not bratty. You've seen my Daddy say a number of times that I'm a good girl. That makes me proud because I like making him proud. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely no Mary Sunshine here. I feel plenty strident sometimes. So I started paying attention to my thought process.


This is no secret to him, when I'm aware, or become aware, I tell him....I tell him everything, we are totally transparent with each other. Sometimes something will upset me, something that happened, or something that was said, maybe I'm unsure or reticent about something he requests. Most of the time I ask him if we can talk about it.



When I don't he always asks what's wrong. He hears it, smells it, sees it, feels it. There are times I say "Umm, don't wanna say it." And he says, "No, I'm listening, lovey, I need to hear it." I'll say, "Nope, it's not very submissive." He coaxes, "Go on." And I tell him, "That made me feel...," and he says "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Well sometimes it seems that way to me.



It's sometimes hard to reveal those things I may be thinking. That means putting myself out there, doesn't it? But I have honestly never had a partner who was so concerned with my fulfillment, with my happiness, my enjoyment, my safety - my over-all well-being. He listens to everything. He coaxes out the things I may be reluctant to say because I think it's frivolous, or unsubmissive or unseemly. He thinks it's all important. He takes it all into consideration, and he does make the decisions that serves our family best.

There are times when I don't feel especially happy about something. And I might feel pouty or feel something....unsubmissive, that wants to come out of my mouth. But I have this little internal dialogue that runs.

Well I don't want to...
But he's Daddy...
But I'd rather.....
It's what he/we/you need, he's not arbitrary....
No he's not, but I'll be sad....
You'll be sad for a little while, but in the end he will work it out for the best resolution, he always does. He's the big picture man. What is the real issue here? Why do you want to resist him?
pout.....sigh
 
"Yes, Daddy" and sometimes I DO say, "Yes, Daddy, I don't want to, but I'll be a good girl." And guess what? The smile that has a million rays of the sun, and the kiss on the pout and the voice that thaws me out in an instant, whispering "Good girl." make it all worth it till the good things happen.



So what I figured out from my thinking is that we all have the potential to be bratty, it's whether we just let it all fly or we let it run through our filters first. Why bother? Because I love him, because I respect him. Even if we were a straight up 'nilla couple I would think that would be the foundation of any relationship. In our relationship? Well he is my HoH, he is my Dominant, he is my Daddy. He has this right - the duty - to make the decisions for us as a couple and as a family. It's my duty to follow with grace. For this good man, that is the path I choose.




HIS POV:

To truly love someone is to understand them, to guide them, to nurture them, discipline them and give them the freedom to let go of the fear of uncertainty. I try my best to be there for my June,  we share a communication and understanding that allows me to know and share the kind of deep connection that we both need and desire.  Even when the tough decisions come, I know I have her support even if she doesn't like the direction we need to go in for the good of our family and relationship... I'm a lucky lucky man, my June is a very good girl and I won't ever take that for granted.

11 comments:

  1. Very nicely said, and right on the mark, whether 'nilla or not :)

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    1. Thanks, faerie :) This is another one I've been ruminating on. Do you find that? Sometimes stuff is busting to get out of your head, and other times it's all word stew? It needs to cook a while before it's fit to serve.

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    2. Yeah, that happens to me too, gotta give some things time to develop some clarity :)

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  2. Especially loved the last few lines of the post. Very nice. Regards, SNP

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    1. Thanks very kindly, SNP. It's something I feel deeply, bringing honor to him honors me. He is my heart.

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  3. TTWD has ended almost all my tendencies to be bratty. It's not because he'd spank me (which he would) but for the reasons you laid out. He deserves my respect and I want to follow graciously. It doesn't mean I don't fail...often...but it's not intentional.

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    1. I think that's the impact of it, Susie, honestly. I think when we do TTWD, we are more mindful of how we interact with each other, not only the wives, but the husbands as well. It's kind of like we hold ourselves to higher standards of conduct and communication.

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  4. loved this post. when i grow up and have a husband of my own, this is what i want for us too!

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    1. Thanks very much, Fondles. LOL, I'm not always grown up. You can find just the right one that takes care of you just perfectly. I wouldn't have thought it was possible, but I'm a believer now :)

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  5. Very nice post and an encouragement to others as well. :)

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    1. Oh, thank you, Grace, what a lovely thing to say!

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