Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day.... or is it?


Daddy and I were talking this morning about Valentine's Day... more about that in a minute. Then I was talking to a friend who said she hates Valentine's Day. And her sentiments echoed what Daddy and I had talked about this morning (we hardly ever post the day we write, we keep a 'vault' of stuff that we write when we're able,  so when life gets hectic there's something to pull from). So I thought it might make a good post.

Valentine's Day, it's worth knowing where the legend comes from, and just a warning, it's kind of grisly, not graphically so, but not really all completely warm and fuzzy. But the message goes beyond the note, signed "from your Valentine", the message, to me, is that you would be willing to die for your love.

So I would challenge you... is one day enough to show the one you love that you would die for them? Is it enough to show that you would die for the love that you create, and that lives in you? Does a box of candy or a piece of jewelry say all that you wish to say - does it speak the truth of your heart?




No, I am not decrying or trying to minimalize extravagant gestures. I am simply saying sometimes we need to remember that there is great love in small gestures. There is great love in meeting your partner at the door with a smile and a look that says, "I'm so glad you're home. Now I finally am, too." There is great love in meeting requests with a smiling, "Yes, love." There is great love in crafting, meals and treats you know he enjoys. There is great love in coming home from work and taking the children so she can have ten blessedly quiet minutes to complete a task, or half an hour to read a book, or sit in the yard with a cup of tea. There is great love in touch, a brush against your cheek for no reason than to show that your heart swelled when you looked at them, or when you see the mark of the world on them and you wrap your arms around them to protect them and wipe it all away with the tears that cleanse their souls.

I wonder when we lost sight of that, and thought we could only say I love you, once a year? My friend and I said that seems like it's something you have to do, not something that you thrive on doing, something that feeds you in the feeding of your love.

So Ward, my heart, my Daddy, my love, I pray that I take full advantage of every opportunity to show you the depths of my love. Today, you received a coupon book for things like a massage, your favorite cookies, stress relief, grace when it's difficult - in the rare event that you err. I would hope that I extend these things every day in my expression of love for you. But I am human, and sometimes I miss the signs of need, or get wrapped up in the day and forget those little extras. So please use these to remind me to never let the day go to bed without telling you how much you touch me, how essential you are to me and to our family, and how very, very much I love you. Happy Valentines's Forever, my Love.




HIS POV:
Love is a beautiful thing that deserves to be nurtured and fed every single day of the year. Can we give less than our very best to the people that we love? Didn't think so. Love, passion, reciprocity and the clear and loud expression of our hearts that's where it begins and it never ends.  June my darling, today you received a letter with a surprise and a coupon book of your own... I am human as well, I make errors but yet you love me anyway and everyday is like a holiday, every meal a feast, you make my heart sing forever my love.

38 comments:

  1. I have never celebrated valentines day, not send a card (but have received 3 lol), the bossman is not for valentines day either.

    I get that its a day to celebrate love but im more of the mind that everyday is that day, and although he and i our not what i would consider romantics i love him very much and he does me, that is expressed in everyday gestures.

    x

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    1. Hi tori :) I have in the past celebrated, but I've been in relationships with people who though that's all that mattered, they could treat you poorly all year, as long as that heart-shaped box of chocolates came on 2-14. Love is something we have to nurture every single day.

      (((hugs)))

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  2. We do not do Valentines Day either. Never have. Nor are we a romantic couple..sometimes I wish we were! Another great post as usual from a very loving couple :)

    Hugs June and Ward

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    1. We are a bit on the romantic side (no, June, I don't believe you. - oh yes, really we are.) But we're romantic ever day :)

      (((hugs)))

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  3. The little gestures that Valentines Day encourages are sweet and good, but the reality is found in the day to day, the tough moments and everyday love. I got a treat this morning but it wasn't the treat that touched me, it was his boyish grin, his excitement and the love underneath.

    We are getting better and better at remembering this stuff in daily ways and for that I'm really thankful.

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    1. Hi Susie :) Yes that's what this post is about really, remembering those little things that mean so very much every day, that build an incomparable love. It is quite something to be grateful for :)

      (((hugs)))

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  4. That's a lovely sentiment June. I'm not much of a holiday celebrater, I prefer to celebrate everyday cause none of us are ever promised tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day to you both :)

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    1. That's exactly how we feel, faerie :) When you love the way we all do, it should be celebrated every day in every word, thought and deed :)

      (((hugs)))

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  5. I agree with your idea that every day should be Valentine's Day, or like it anyway. We often profess our love and show it, too. Just last weekend he woke me up to breakfast in bed just "because." But, we also like to partake in the V-Day fun -- get dressed up more than usual and have a fun night out :)

    Happy V-Day to you both! <3

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    1. That's so very sweet, Riley :) Daddy does stuff like that too. Those just because moments are priceless!

      (((hugs)))

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  6. Love the sentiment behind this post. Daddy is much more of V-day celebrator than myself but he also showers affection on me on a daily basis. Through the closeness of our relationship it is becoming easier for me to show affection, although that has never really been a strong point of mine.

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    1. I'm with you, dancingbarez, I'd much rather have those moments with fingers intertwined, that little touch and soft look, that embrace from behind a wildflower bouquet he picked while out walking the trails, grabbing the dishcloth and giving me some time to myself, than 100 roses, and a once a year I love you.

      (((hugs)))

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    1. Hope yours was awesome, sunnygirl!

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  8. I just wrote something similar. I don't want flowers and candy on a day when you're 'supposed' to get them. I want them because he wants to give them to me. I don't need a day to know I'm loved :)
    Great post

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    1. Thanks, elle, nothing better than a midweek - just because - gesture, doesn't have to be big, doesn't have to cost a cent. But to speak love every day, that's what makes us in this community extraordinary:)

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  9. Another thought provoking post Ward and June. To me, Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love and should serve as a reminder to treat your love as if every day as Valentine's Day.

    Wishing you both a lovely, loving Valentine's Day...every day of the year.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. That's how it should be, Cat, sadly a lot of people don't. They snark at each other and ignore each other all year, then run out to Walmart which is stuffed to the gills with red and roses and cards, and heart shaped things and teddies holding hearts and professing things they don't show most of the time. Yes this is one of those things that makes us both take to the soapbox, lol

      (((hugs)))

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  10. You're completely right and the sentiment lines up completely with what Omega believes. He says we demonstrate our love daily and don't require a "hallmark" holiday...

    And while mouse agrees...she teeters on the fence because it's cute and fun...And after the whole Christmas shabang...it's nice....It's really an excuse to use all the heart-shaped things she has acquired over the years...Babygirl will have heart shaped PB&J today...LMAO.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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    1. Mmm, I like the little decorations and things, mouse, and the heart-shaped PBJ would be awesome! I've done pancakes like that :) I think the thing we object to is the commercialization, the small gestures are awesome and fun, and shouldn't stop there.

      (((hugs)))

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  11. Dear June and Ward
    I agree that everyday should be a day of love and appreciation.
    Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about buying things - it can just be a special
    day to go overboard with love!
    Daddy Jack wants to give me a warm Valentine's spanking and what usually follows is wonderful.
    Hope you two have a wonderful day too.
    Hugs
    Jack's Jill

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    1. Hi, Jill, I got one of those, too :D BEST VALENTINE EVER, rofl :D I agree, doesn't have to cost a lot, just do even more things than you do all year long!

      (((hugs)))

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  12. I agree that we should show our loved ones every day that love, not just one day a year. That said, I still like Valentine's Day. I mean, we could argue against having any kind of holiday because we should be celebrating Christ all year long (not just on Christmas), we should be thankful that we're alive every day (not just on our birthday), we should be nurturing our marriage always (not just on our anniversary), etc. But these special days are sort of reminders I think and a chance to maybe do something a bit out of the ordinary (whether that be something extravagant or simple) because even if we are trying every day, there are times when life gets in the way. Happy Valentine's Day to you both! :)

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    1. Hi Grace, We should be grateful and mindful every day, for all our blessings, and we should be expressive about them. We're not against those little out of the ordinary things, just saying that expressing it one day is no excuse for not expressing it daily :)


      (((hugs)))

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  13. Happy Valentine's Day Ward and June. Yes, Valentine's Day is very commercial, but it is still a nice holiday to celebrate. My husband and I try to show love and affection all year long as well. But, you two always promote real love--deep love--intimate love---not superficial love. I hope you get some special time together tonight. Regards,

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    1. Thank you for those very sweet words, SNP. We strive to live that and to espouse how extraordinary life can be when we take the time to be grateful and mindful every single day:) We had a wonderful day, with many special moments. Hope you did, too!

      (((hugs)))

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  14. You make a good point....and the holiday can be depressing for some. Love and commitment are not a one day a year event, they need to be nurtured, valued and cherished every day of the year.
    hugs abby

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    1. Hi, abby, yes, exactly! We take great joy in the nurturing!

      (((hugs)))

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  15. June and Ward,
    Last year, I bought Will a French press and special coffee which he loves - he got me a card.

    The year before that - I honestly can't remember, nor the year before that!

    The first year, I can't remember what I got him but I know I got him a card - and he got me a stuffed animal and a card - and we had our weekend breakup two weeks later. *rolls eyes*

    We don't believe in Valentine's Day, per se. But we appreciate the sentiment.

    This year, we didn't discuss it. You see, every year we say it doesn't matter to us, really. But post-ttwd something kinda wonderful happened.

    He bought me a gorgeous arrangement of flowers - expensive, too. He frequently buys me flowers, so this is not all that unusual - but this arrangement is meant to last for several weeks, as is the beautiful vase it comes in. He knows I love our home and the fresh flowers represent love and vitality to me. :)

    I bought him candy (he's a sweet freak) and an item of furniture that he has expressed interest in but did not need, with a card and candles. :)

    We are both enjoying the gifts - this year especially because there is no *need* to re-affirm our love, but we both had fun with our special plans for one another because we just *wanted* to...with no discussion before hand. I honestly had no idea if he was getting anything for me, nor he, I - and it didn't matter in the least because I wanted to do something for him. He did the same.

    And we do these things everyday - a post-it or a note or a text or a surprise sweater or pair of jeans or one of us making the bed or making coffee.

    I've realized that Valentine's Day gifts are the sweetest when there are no expectations. And they don't even matter, ultimately, because every single day there is a Valentine Day gift. It's an "I love you" or a hug or a post-it. :)

    Happy Valentine's Day to you both - even if every day is Valentine's Day to you two! ;)

    Elisa Xo

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    1. That's a lovely point, Elisa - no expectations. I think that's the crux, isn't it? I don't expect anything, and I so appreciate the things that he does. And the things he does for me, and I for him are simply because we live to please each other.

      The doing something for him that he would not do for himself is wonderful, an expansion of the love and respect and mindfulness that you express daily!

      (((hugs)))

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  16. Rick and I don't really celebrate valentines day. We share some lovely words and cards and remind each other of our love for them but no extravagant gestures. We don't like the commercialism that society puts on valentines day and feel our love should be shared and expressed every day of the year.

    It's the little daily gestures and how we express our love day to day that matters most.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Hi, Roz, there is not a week that goes by that I do not end up crying because of the beauty of a gesture he extends to me. Yes, it would not feel as profound if we didn't do that to each other. Oh mercy, and I hate hearing the - he got me candy and I don't like that kind, or I hate that color rose, or only this kind of flower and not roses, or what am I going to do with this? It breaks my heart. I like us the way we are :)

      (((hugs)))

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  17. Hi Ward and June. I agree that everyday we should show our Love to each other. I look at vday as a day to have a little extra fun, like making things for each other which we do most years. Last night was a not so fun one but we turned it around. Both came home to a broken furnace. Yea Our furnace guy said sorry but he could get here in the morning. So Mom to the rescue. We went to the store me and hubby bought pizzas and stuff for smores. All six of us huddled in the family room with the wood stove andblankets had pizza smores and watched movies. We had a great time. I wished my hubby and all our kids a happy vday, and we were all together again our older son home. It was a great vday for all of us.

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    1. Hi, Annie, that's a good way to look at it, and I guess what we're trying to say - a day for a little extra fun, not the only expression of love. It sounds like you had an awesome night! I'm sorry about the furnace, but because of the groundwork you lay all through the year, you were able to turn it around and make it memorable for a really good reason!

      I'm glad you had a good one, sweetie! You deserve it after the hard road you've been traveling!

      (((hugs)))

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  18. Showing love is for every day of the year. Those extra special gifts are even more special just because. Flowers, chocolates or a pretty necklace is more appreciated when it doesn't come from obligation and holiday necessity. Just my thoughts on the day.

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    1. Hi DR, yes, I'd agree with that. Nothing wrong with the day if it's not the only day. It's so important, every single day, to wrap your partner with love!

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  19. This is a lovely sentiment on the holiday. Ian was always very routine an obligatory about the flowers, the dinner out, etc. This year, he made no apologies for the absence of those things, and I received a memorable spanking instead. I deserved it, but it turned out to be very important in working out some issues that had been keeping us from each other. It turned out to be the best gift for me....and I love my husband more than ever.
    Dd is the best gift a couple can give each other.
    hugs and love
    lillie

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    1. Sorry I missed this, lillie. I'd much rather have the spanking, lol. You're not kidding, DD is an incredible gift. I could never live any other way. This life feels genuine, I feel real...for the first time ever.

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