Monday, February 18, 2013

Appreciating the Little Things


                                              

Have you ever thought about the little things that your partner does to make your life, your home, and your world a better place to live in?  Upon realization of the impact that your love has, did you take the time to truly appreciate their effort to make life better, easier, and brighter for you?  If you've ever been out "people watching" as June and I sometimes do, I'm sure you've seen it, you know the difficult teenager, the ungrateful wife, the petulant child that didn't get exactly what they wanted. It makes me sad. I mean are we, as a society so far removed from each other that we can't recognized an honest effort to make each other happy?
                                             












 I have found that with June, she truly gets it. If I mention a dish my mom made when I was a child, she starts looking for recipes.  If I mention something I think is sexy she does it without thinking about it. Noticing these things, I can do no less than offer her my sincere thanks and make a deep and honest effort to reciprocate as often as I can.  When she mentions that her feet hurt, I rub them for her. When the kids become overly exuberant... I distract them for her.  Me, I personally think bringing your partner the little things that make them thrive is sexy... Maybe it sounds a little chauvinistic, but I love how domestic June is, she keeps our home comfortable, warm,  and she nourishes the minds and bodies of all under our roof and for that she will always have my deepest and frequently spoken appreciation.

                                                     











Sometimes it's being there for each other at the end of a long day, frequently my job drains me and even if she can't tend to my physical needs right  away she's always there with a hug, a kiss, and a cold glass of water... She gives me the 15 minutes I need, when I get home, to decompress and get ready to give  my family my best.  When we first became acquainted with each other, the first time I pretty much knew she was "the one" when I saw how she relished taking care of me. She had tears streaming down my cheeks when she took my hand and told me that she could love someone like me... Such a moment is so small, but so deep like the rings rippling outward from the stone. A microcosm unto itself, this moment huge in meaning small on the outside sparked the beginnings of something beautiful

                                                           
                                                                                                  


It is easy to imagine and even apply these concepts to a DD/TTWD relationship. When you think about it, that's what it's really all about isn't it? Taking the time to say thank you is a lost art in this country and at least in this house we will know reciprocity, selflessness and love. We will attempt to do not only the obvious gestures but the small ones as well. June my love, I honestly don't say thank you enough for all that you do, for all that you contribute, for all that you are. I strive to continually improve as your HoH, your husband, your leader, I want you to know how much you bring me and the boys. Thank you for being patient, giving, flexible, sweet and good-natured even when things are chaotic... You bring our home peace.


                                                  


We would suggest that there is much to be gained by exploring  the impact that you have on each other. Say thank you, and look to the memories you have made and search those small moments for the magic that makes a good couple into a great couple. Each day is a new opportunity for thankfulness, Reciprocity, Growth and Discovery! What will you find?  What will you say to each other? We would encourage you all in appreciating the little things that make our relationships big!

                                                          


Her POV:

 I know that I am hopelessly old-fashioned. I know that I am not politically correct. I know that I am excruciatingly happy. I love this man. When I see the weight of the world on his shoulders, I am compelled to ease his burden in the ways that I can, a touch, small considerations, closeness when he needs it, or space when he requires it. I wish to make our home a place of peace, a safe harbor. I love to cook and nourish my family, and pray for the strength to nourish their hearts, spirits and souls as well as their bodies.

There is nothing better than to hear him speak of a remembered moment of pleasure and be able to reproduce that for him. There is nothing better than seeing his eyes close and hear that happy sound as he takes a bite of butterscotch pie that his grandmother made and no one could replicate, or the oatmeal chocolate chip hazelnut cookies like his mom used to make, or a key lime pie he proclaims as the best in the world. These are very small things that I can do for him to not only tell him,but show him his worth to me.

A long time ago, another lifetime really, when I was going through a very difficult time and talking with a friend who was a Christian counselor, she told me that I was a righteous woman.  I looked up the quote she had recited, and found Proverbs 31. I appreciated her assessment and thought she was crazy, I was not that good. I was just me, and surely if I was that, I would have been enough for someone.

The concept intrigued me, though, and I researched more, trying to understand. I surely didn't believe that I was this woman - this was an ideal, a goal that I could strive for. I found a beautiful sermon that outlined the characteristics of this extraordinary woman: she is strong, while remaining graceful, poised and dignified; she is trustworthy; as a habit of life, she does good for her husband and family; she is industrious; she is compassionate, she has a husband worthy of respect; strength and dignity are hers; she looks to the future with a smile.

"This is not about size, weight, or magazine cover beauty. This is about character and lifestyle that will be a blessing to any husband or family. And this woman, a wise man will seek her or help her to become just such a woman." I am not this woman, but I strive to become like her. And with God's grace I was given a wise man to help me on my journey. He along with this wonderful life we live help me to be my truest self, and we were both given this community to support us on our journey.


37 comments:

  1. ou are so right, it is the little everyday things that make everything and everyone better.

    As usual great pictures.

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    1. Thanks, sunnygirl, I may be biased, but I think Daddy is most wise. That is one thing we have both been dedicated to, to walking our talk and showing our love and appreciation every single day.

      (((hugs)))

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  2. It is so easy to lose sight of the little things....the ones that are soooo all important in keeping us content, stable and happy. Master tells me thank you when I do something for Him, at first it threw me off...He did need to say that. He wanted to....the light finally dawned.
    hugs abby

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    1. I was the same way, abby! You know that look where your face kind of goes blank, and your thoughts are racing, and your eyes are darting, but nothing else is moving, and if you were talking or chewing, you stop? Yeah, that, lol. No one ever did that before!

      (((hugs)))

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  3. You are so right...it is definitely the little things that make everyday better. I really do miss those things but am so happy that you two do those little things for one another. Thank you both for such a lovely and loving post...gives me the warm fuzzies!

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Did you know that you're in our prayers every night, Cat? We wish you that happiness that you so richly deserve. And when you find it, we want to dance at your wedding. You will never forget those important moments :)

      (((hugs)))

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  4. Many small things make up the big things in the end.
    I love this post - thank you for writing about love in the most wonderful and warm way!
    Hugs to you both
    Jack's Jill

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    1. The small things are the things that you remember most dearly, Jill. I find that with our kids, too. The things they remember most are the times they came home to their favorite cookies, or favorite dinner, or Daddy wrestling with them, teaching them football, or sitting down and explaining homework. It all comes down to mindfulness and the gift of time.

      (((hugs)))

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  5. Once again you to get us back to basics. Thank you for pointing out all the little ways we can show respect for one another.

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    1. Thanks dancingbarez :) That's a great point, it is about respect as well, "you matter enough..."

      (((hugs)))

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  6. What a lovely post, how special you both are. Jan.xx

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    1. Thank you for your lovely words, Jan :)

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  7. You are right! It isn't about the grand gestures. It is the small quiet moments of love.

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    1. Thank you, Minelle, they surely speak loudly :)

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  8. Thanks for the reminder. Its so easy to get wound up with all the crap these days its easy to forget all the great wonderful things going on every moment in our day. Hugs

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    1. You're most welcome, Annie, but somehow I think you didn't really need a reminder ;)

      (((hugs)))

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  9. The little things are huge for us...we are paying attention to them and it is an amazing way to show our love for each other. We notice that on the days we don't we start to derail.

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    1. They are for us, too, Susie. I feel crushed if I cannot do those little things for him. It was one of the hardest parts of his being deployed, I could not give him those small moments, and I knew he needed. I find that there is peace in my heart when I can give to him, and it is much the same for him. Derailed is a great way to put it!

      (((hugs)))

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  10. Gratitude was something I consciously wove into who I wanted to be, part of the changes I wanted to move toward on this journey. It's taken some work, but I find myself telling, not only Dave, but others 'thank you' much more often. But I especially tell Dave, and it spills from my lips quite naturally and often these days. Thank you for this post; it is something we all need to remember and to appreciate everything which is done for us and the people who do them. Beautifully said.

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    1. Thanks for your sweet words, Jacquie. I think that is part of the reason we (this community in general) shine to other people - we are mindful and grateful and respectful - each to the other. Those are uncommon things in the world today. But it is part of what makes us who we are. And we are all awesome!

      (((hugs)))

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  11. I loved this, both points of view. And I agree, the little things are really the big things, sometimes the most important things. This post was a good reminder for me today, so thanks for sharing!

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    1. I'm glad that you found something that spoke to you today, Grace :) We enjoy sharing the things that speak to us from the pages of other's blogs. Sometimes others express things that we struggle with.

      (((hugs)))

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  12. : ) it is the little things that most times have the greatest impact. Thanks for sharing.

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  13. It's for sure always those little things that are so important. Of course I'll notice a big gesture, but it's those tiny little things that sometimes make all the difference and make one feel so cherished. Sweet post :)

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    1. Cherished is a lovely word, Riley! I have never felt cherished before Ward, and it'sthe small gestures that touche me deepest, give me brain tickles :)

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  14. Yet another great reminder Ward and June, thank you for sharing. You are so right. It's those little things that are so important, yet can so easily be overlooked in this busy life.

    This is sometime we endeavour to do as much as possible and I think we are fairly good at doing these little things for each other, and showing our love and appreciation, but there's always room for improvement right? I love, those little gestures from Rick. The make me feel so loved and cared for.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Thanks very much, Roz :) I would definitely say that you guys do pretty well in the little things department. I love seeing palpable love splashed across the pages of my friends. We see it often on yours :)

      (((hugs)))

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  15. Oh my goodness, I read this post and thought I left a comment. Blogger just has it in for me lately.
    I loved this post. It truly is those little things that build a strong foundation in a marriage. My dear mum told me that many times as a young woman. It makes your partner feel appreciated and cared for. I think it is as impotent to our big strong men, as it is to we TiH women. What this post made me remember was to take joy in the doing!
    hugs you two,
    lillie

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    1. Sometimes, lillie-belle,I think they especially need it - it helps express in deed our gratitude, in a way that they can feel, and believe. It bolsters them and feeds them.

      (((hugs)))

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  16. What a beautiful and inspiring post. The P31 woman, ah yes. I've heard of her, and seen the studies. What a wonderful goal. This week I have been selfish and distracted, and this is such a good reminder to pull myself back on track. I try to speak my husbands love language, and he speaks mine as well. So thankful for each other!

    You both have the ability to touch me deeply with your posts. :)

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    1. Hi, Stormy :) Thanks for those very sweet words. I was shocked when I looked it up that she had applied that to me. I don't see it. I just love him, and I want to provide him that comfort. When I found it and started reading on it, I thought it was a most noble aspiration. I pray that I can succeed:)

      It takes selflessness to learn the love language of our partners, and it makes us so much richer.

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  17. It is wonderful to know that such love and gratitude between two people can and does exist.

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    1. I think we both lives so long without it, trazuredpet, that we did not want another ordinary, drudgeful relationship, we wanted extraordinary. Thankfully we're both willing to put the hard work in every day to work toward that.

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  18. @everyone - I appologize for not being able to reply sooner, this week kept me on my toes. Thank you so much for sharing and contributing to this post. The little things DO make all the difference!

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  19. Wise words, you guys, and timely. Thank you.
    Bea

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    1. Thanks very much, Bea, and you're most welcome. My Daddy is very wise ;)

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