DD/TTWD, Spanking, and Self-Discovery

                                                        

                                                                    

DD/TTWD is truly an amazing, vibrant lifestyle. We get the benefit of learning and being even more mindful of our partner's ideas, thoughts, dreams and desires. Even though June and I came into our relationship "as is", we have also discovered much about each other. When we were at the "feeling out" stage of our relationship,  there was certainly some trepidation about some of the things that we both felt and enjoyed. We have routinely  been delighted to find out that our communication has  led to us  being completely and utterly on the same page. June and I have come to realize that we probably belong to a sub-category of DD/TTWDers that may in fact be all our own.  We have alluded to, suggested, and even plainly stated that we are in fact spanking enthusiasts as well as a practicing DD/TTWD couple.

                                                                  

 I guess to some that might seem like an oxymoron, but June and I couldn't imagine life any other way. We also know that there are quite a few professed "spank-nos" out there.  I would also go a bit further and dare ask a question.... What if the line were blurred? What would happen if spanking wasn't used strictly for correction? What would happen if you discovered a wonderful tool that led to you talking more, touching more, kissing more, and making love deeper and stronger?  I'm sure you're all saying that it's easy for me to say and that my own backside isn't on the line, but truth is that far beyond correction or even discipline, there is something about spanking that calls to our shared sense of intimacy. It's more than just sexy, it's more than just something we do, it's who we are and what we share with nobody else. It brings us clarity, focus and speaks deep of the devotion that we hone daily.

                                                                                                 

                                           

 It doesn't necessarily have to be spanking.  We realize  that everyone is different, unique, special. That is in fact part of the magic of relationships. Romance, dedication and communication can unveil more than what simply passes a passionate fancy... No, sometimes intimate, connective time unveils a deeper side of our relationship. The kind we guard, the kind we have a thirst for... Those defining intimate moments that you savor while you are at work and pop into your head while you are doing a load of laundry. Even now typing this I am reminded of the thirst I have for June's love, affection, touch and sweet, soft kindness.  Every day in every way this energy, this intimacy defines a relationship.  June and I just happen to think that spanking in it's many sumptuous forms happens to be a perfect vehicle for this.

                                                              

Self-discovery begins with but a few words, communication is the key. Do you have a unrequited passion that you long to share with your partner? Tell them, show them how you feel, and that it's more than that tingly feeling  or something that curls your toes.  Trepidation much?  Sometimes the only way to gain new ground is to take the first step and give voice to our thoughts, dreams, and yes, desires.  Likewise, take the time to give ear to the voice of your partner... Work together to find that special place that belongs to you as a couple and you as a couple alone.  Find that spark, let if blossom into the beautiful flames of deep intimacy. 

                                                  

 Knowing these things, DD/TTWD has actually improved in every aspect for us.  That connection we speak of, that intimacy drives us to be our best. June is the best woman that I've ever had the pleasure to know, and she puts everything into being loving wife, mother, and best friend.  DD/TTWD also makes me want to be a better man, to be a good father and to bring love and light to our family. Who would have thought a teensy, tiny little spanking would do all that?!





                               

Her POV:

I was raised in a culture of guilt. I accept the blame for everything, and I mean everything. I stress from life in general, I didn't do well enough, I didn't give enough, I shouldn't have been annoyed at the children, the laundry wasn't done, I didn't finish an assignment, dinner was delayed or something happened along the way and a step took longer than it should have. I am my own worst critic.

I take things to heart. Sometimes I am overly sensitive. Things are said that are innocuous, but I get upset. Or just the trials of life, things beyond  our control, I fret, and knowing how much is on his plate, hold them in, effectively building walls. I rely on him to help me. Spankings break down those walls and keep us stripped and open, close and communicating.

At other times there is nothing as intimate as laying yourself bare across his lap, open for his touch, in all the ways he chooses to touch you. It is a wonderful, warm, soft, surrendered, vulnerable, cared for, loved, protected feeling. It, too, is stripped away intimacy.

Spanking for us is the tool, the vehicle that we use to drive our relationship. I look to him to support me as I support him, to elevate me as I elevate him, to hold me accountable, to change my 'stinkin' thinkin', to correct me when I stray from our truth, to help me be open, soft, feminine and vulnerable. For us, these things often start with me across his lap, with his leadership and my trust,with my vulnerability and his acceptance, and with the gift to each other of authenticity, of his Dominance and my submission.

The Gift of Time

                                                     

 There are 24 hours in a day. Just 24, no more, no less. Often it feels like there isn't enough of it to go around.  But, I would ask, Is there any gift more precious? The gift of one's time, passion, and energy are among the most precious gifts that we can give.  I think that's one of the things missing from many "modern" couples.  Sure we all have work to consider and then there is our own individual interest and stress to relieve. But there is one thing that I try to remain vigilant about.... that's love.  It's pretty easy to say that one loves another, but then again it's quite another thing to show it. Do I still go out with the guys after work and catch part of the game and take in a brew? Sure, but I also realize the value in giving people rain-checks and giving my family the time and attention that they require to grow.

                                                   

 It can be pretty easy to fall into a rut at times, or dare I say it... take each other for granted, but giving each other the time and attention that couples need.  Sometimes our domestic responsibilities and our schedules get hectic. Having two active school age children is a challenge at the best of times, but when you account for winter weather, the morning pokieness of our oldest, work, vehicles, people being under the weather, breakfast, lunch, bills, work  hmmm I'm sure I left some things out, but it's easy to see how even the most dedicated and vigilant could be overwhelmed and out of sorts at the end of a long, busy day.

                                                 

   

Sometimes the only real solution is to make time. No, I'm not a wizard and I realize that not everything is as simple as all that, but sometimes making the time to do even something just small can have HUMONGOUS benefits.  That's where it falls on us guys.  As an HoH I feel that it is my duty to assess the situation in the home, monitor stress and fatigue levels and when necessary to make time for my children or my woman when it is clear that they  need me to do so. My suggestions?  Kick her out of the kitchen and finish dinner, Take the kids out for a while so she can have a few hours to herself. Take the laundry basket from her and tell her to put her feet up and relax. 

                                                                                         

Sometimes making time means saying no to friends, canceling plans and knowing that sometimes  the best thing to do is to do nothing... No, no, I'm not sure you understand, nothing.  Sometimes nothing is disastrous, sometimes a weekend  of relaxation, and snuggling on the couch can be more productive than traveling too and from, running around like chickens without heads, and generally adding stress to the two days of the week where stress just don't have  a place.

                                                                    

Sadly, I can't just add 5 more hours or tack on two more days to the week, but what I can do is be attentive to my lady and her needs, spend time with my children and use what time we do have to bolster and nourish our ever-tightening bonds and feed the spirits and minds of the ones I hold dear.  I would encourage you all to find a way, or make a way to give each other and your families the attention that they require, need, deserve, and thrive from.  Who knows what you will discover?  Who knows what priceless moments are just waiting to be had?   Let each discovery you make bolster your efforts to be the best you can for each other.... Time's a wastin'

                                                               

Her POV: 

 There IS no greater gift we can give to each other. We all understand that principle with regard to our children. Better to give them your time, to show them they are worthy and valuable, than to buy all the latest gadgets. Why then would we give less to our families and to our partners? As our time nourishes our children, increases intimacy, increases trust and communication, so it does when we devote time to each other and to our relationships. When we give the gift of time, we also give the gift of understanding, we give refreshment to the soul, we relieve and wash away stress and strip away the world and all the things that do not belong and give shelter, safe harbor to our loved ones and let them be their best and most authentic selves.

What June's Submission Means to Ward.

                                                  

 June's submission is the sweet ambrosia that allows me to ascend beyond the limits and constraints of mere-mortal manhood.  Submission is her gift to me and in so offering, I must ascend, I must respect, I must develop into the man that is worthy of her love, support and submission.  I take and/or make time every day to not only acknowledge the gift of her submission, but to develop, nurture and strengthen it and our dynamic.

                                                            

I have told June many times that she is a natural submissive... She would probably say that she is just herself and that it is my dominance that has such an affect on  her. She honors me with her words and even if she was just being herself, she brings me so much more than I have ever had or could dare dream of.  In my previous relationships, I often felt marginalized,  ignored, disrespected, unimportant.  Indeed at times it felt like I was struggling to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.  It saddens me that I cannot take the time that I lost and give it back to June... but I also realize that without  the life experiences I have, I could not be the man that I am and I never would have met my one true soul mate... and that would truly be a tragedy.  We have discussed the impact that communication has on a healthy relationship and at times that communication does in fact extend beyond words.

                                           

Submission isn't always easy but it's impact is immediate and undeniable. One of the things that I really must do is give June credit where it is due. I know that I am not always the easiest person to deal with. I have high expectations for our  communication, our family and, of course, us as a couple.  Even when I am not at my best, even when it is difficult, June responds with grace and love and even when  I haven't handled something particularly well, she takes that extra second, breathes and allows her submission to bloom out ahead of what may have been in the front of her mind. This effort, seemingly small  is often the difference between cool heads and  a misunderstanding and, June my love, again I salute you, I know that I am not always easy or pleasant.

Submission also comes in the form of the love and care that she provides. Many times before thought formed in my head, June was there with a glass of water or I've come home to find my favorite meal hot and on the table. In many ways it is so much more than taking care of me or our home... She is taking care of us and the bond that we hold dear.  Knowing these things, and observing them with clear mind and proud eyes... I strive and am forced to become a better, more attentive man... She deserves no less and in truth, our relationship cannot be allowed to stagnate. Effort every day, even when it isn't easy drives growth and reciprocity.

                                                         

Submission

- Feeds our dynamic and provokes communication, thought, growth and effort
- Feeds my Dominance and draws it out
- Allows us to feel our HoH and TiH rolls evenly and fully
- Guides and guards our hearts and minds and keeps them focused on growth, communication, stability and reciprocity
- Ignites our love life and  and fuels our passion for each other

                                                             

 Her grace even under pressure charmed me from the first and her thirst for my dominance allowed for the easy and delightful expression of our physical passion. She presents, she offers herself fully and unwaveringly even when it hurts, even when it is a test, she recognizes the value of intensity and gifts me with the sweetness of her body and the warmth of her mind. We are big advocates of  a lifestyle enriched by communication, reciprocity, dominance, submission and  above all love. So what does it mean to me? It means that I have been given the opportunity to love harder, to cherish, to respect, to teach, to guide and to grow into the man that June deserves.  Her submission is a key component in our developing not a good relationship....but a great one! 

We encourage each and every one  to discover what submission means to you and how it can further your relationship goals, bring you closer and awaken a passion that is uniquely and truly yours!

                                                            

         

Her POV:

Let's see if June can type through tears..... I am really just me. I don't try to be or do anything. I do respond to his Dominance. It's almost tangible. I spent most of my life feeling lost, adrift. I gave and was minimalized. My resources, my heart and soul were drained. I felt that I had nothing left to give, and certainly wouldn't be worth receiving, because it had no worth to anyone at full capacity. Here I was, hollow, depleted... I had given up.

Ward came into my life, and I was amazed that he wanted me. And I am amazed still. He sees me... he sees straight into my soul, and he loves me still. He looks at all that jumble in there and he shows me that I am worthy. He accepts my need to serve. He proclaims me beautiful in service. He allows me to feel his Dominance cover me like an umbrella on a storm-tossed day, or a blanket, warm, soft, comforting, and protective.
 
Again here, which came first, the chicken or the egg? I don't think it matters. It just matters that we feed each other, fulfill each other, consume each other and grow better and stronger, and more entwined with every interaction.

Effort and Follow-Through, Actions and Words

                                     

                                                                     

Effort isn't exactly the largest word in the English lexicon... but I'd be willing to wager that it has one of the largest potential impacts of any word in any language.  When we get down to it, effort is the catalyst to achievement, the key to change, and the facilitator of open, honest communication.  The true value of effort lies not only in seeing it from your partner and the confidence and  reciprocity that it inspires, but also the honest, whole-hearted effort that you bring to the table  yourself.  There are many things that are easy:  Falling off a log, making slow sweet love on a Saturday morning,  holding hands and talking while it rains on your roof, yes these things are all easy, but sometimes effort isn't.

Being there for your partner can mean listening when you are tired, showing up when perhaps you'd rather be doing something else, saying you understand when maybe you don't and especially taking that extra minute to give them some time to be themselves... Sometimes I have to set up a "mommy time" intervention for June.  June is a fantastic housekeeper and a hard worker and I will defiantly admit that our boys definitely keep her on her toes.  I'll be honest I'm really not much different than anyone else, I have my own interests, and sometimes at the end of a long day, I'm not much for talking, sharing, or being loquacious... but I see the positive effect that  my effort has on my family, my home and my relationship. 


                                      



It stands to reason that along with effort, honesty and action also make up important parts of a DD/TTWD relationship.  It's easy to say something. make conditions,  promises, consequences.  It's true what they say though, there is a time for words and there is a time for actions and then again I also say that talk is cheap.




                                                 

Following through can be a true test for both parties... I realize for my words to carry the proper weight in my home, I must be committed not only to be the best man I can be for my woman, and my children, but to further illustrate the importance of commitment, honor, dependability and to go back a bit...effort. June really is a good girl and in truth does not often warrant or require correction.  It is still easy to see the value of  being a gentleman or lady of one's word... even and especially when it isn't easy or fun or life isn't convenient.  That dedication, that solid foundation can in fact be a source of comfort during times of stress, a source of surety and a demonstration of love that speaks much louder than words ever could.



                                       


One of the beautiful things about DD/TTWD is that we learn very quickly that indeed there is no one perfect and that indeed we require grace, patience and hearts that yearn for growth and affirmation through the consistent application of patience, effort and follow through.  It would be easy to do less, but at what cost? Take the time to communicate. Apply effort and understand that indeed actions speak volumes more than any amount of words.  Sometimes following through will test you, there is no getting around that, sometimes giving your partner what they need, when they need it will hurt....but in so doing, you elevate your relationship to a new level where the air is clear and our bond solidifies into a unshakable foundation.


                                            

Her POV:

Daddy gives me his every effort. He shows up every single day. He makes time for our family, I love to watch him roll around on the floor with the boys, or pick them up and carry them around over his head like a sack o'taters, lol (I did tell you Daddy is a BIG man, right?). I love to watch him sit down with the boys over homework, while I make dinner, and watch his love and patience carry them through difficult assignments.

Daddy has a hard job. He sees some of the ugliest of behavior. And he has to treat the perpetrators with a kindness they have not shown to others. This wears on him, deeply. I can hear it in his voice some days when he calls because he just needs to hear my voice, to touch some piece of home and comfort to get him through a day. Some days, he walks through the door and his eyes are haunted. When we see man's inhumanity to man we can't unsee, or unhear, or unimagine, and it could easily strip our own humanity.

But he comes in to his family, and he shows up. It's a struggle sometimes. But you can see him, stripping layer by layer of his turmoil. Sometimes it's classified, he can't even get the balm of my assurance. All I can do is tell him that I see it, and wrap my arms around him and make home his refuge.

How easy in the sight of this for him to shut down? How easy to check out? How much easier to nurture his own wounds and walk away, than to see the struggling child, or to see his stressed out wife? But he shows up. He sees us. He shucks the world and assumes the responsibility of this family. There are the times then that I offer myself to him, for his stress relief. And there are others when I am struggling, those are the hard ones, those are the ones where he has to be bigger, and stronger and more. How easy to check out? He never does. He takes us in his hands and he leads. He gives us every single thing that each of us needs. He never, ever cheats us, shortchanges us. And in so doing, he makes us unbreakable indeed.

I love you, my Darling, my greatest joy, and one of my three greatest blessings.

Appreciating the Little Things

                                              

Have you ever thought about the little things that your partner does to make your life, your home, and your world a better place to live in?  Upon realization of the impact that your love has, did you take the time to truly appreciate their effort to make life better, easier, and brighter for you?  If you've ever been out "people watching" as June and I sometimes do, I'm sure you've seen it, you know the difficult teenager, the ungrateful wife, the petulant child that didn't get exactly what they wanted. It makes me sad. I mean are we, as a society so far removed from each other that we can't recognized an honest effort to make each other happy?

                                             

 I have found that with June, she truly gets it. If I mention a dish my mom made when I was a child, she starts looking for recipes.  If I mention something I think is sexy she does it without thinking about it. Noticing these things, I can do no less than offer her my sincere thanks and make a deep and honest effort to reciprocate as often as I can.  When she mentions that her feet hurt, I rub them for her. When the kids become overly exuberant... I distract them for her.  Me, I personally think bringing your partner the little things that make them thrive is sexy... Maybe it sounds a little chauvinistic, but I love how domestic June is, she keeps our home comfortable, warm,  and she nourishes the minds and bodies of all under our roof and for that she will always have my deepest and frequently spoken appreciation.

                                                     

Sometimes it's being there for each other at the end of a long day, frequently my job drains me and even if she can't tend to my physical needs right  away she's always there with a hug, a kiss, and a cold glass of water... She gives me the 15 minutes I need, when I get home, to decompress and get ready to give  my family my best.  When we first became acquainted with each other, the first time I pretty much knew she was "the one" when I saw how she relished taking care of me. She had tears streaming down my cheeks when she took my hand and told me that she could love someone like me... Such a moment is so small, but so deep like the rings rippling outward from the stone. A microcosm unto itself, this moment huge in meaning small on the outside sparked the beginnings of something beautiful

                                                           
                                                                                                  


It is easy to imagine and even apply these concepts to a DD/TTWD relationship. When you think about it, that's what it's really all about isn't it? Taking the time to say thank you is a lost art in this country and at least in this house we will know reciprocity, selflessness and love. We will attempt to do not only the obvious gestures but the small ones as well. June my love, I honestly don't say thank you enough for all that you do, for all that you contribute, for all that you are. I strive to continually improve as your HoH, your husband, your leader, I want you to know how much you bring me and the boys. Thank you for being patient, giving, flexible, sweet and good-natured even when things are chaotic... You bring our home peace.

                                                  

We would suggest that there is much to be gained by exploring  the impact that you have on each other. Say thank you, and look to the memories you have made and search those small moments for the magic that makes a good couple into a great couple. Each day is a new opportunity for thankfulness, Reciprocity, Growth and Discovery! What will you find?  What will you say to each other? We would encourage you all in appreciating the little things that make our relationships big!

                                                          

Her POV:

 I know that I am hopelessly old-fashioned. I know that I am not politically correct. I know that I am excruciatingly happy. I love this man. When I see the weight of the world on his shoulders, I am compelled to ease his burden in the ways that I can, a touch, small considerations, closeness when he needs it, or space when he requires it. I wish to make our home a place of peace, a safe harbor. I love to cook and nourish my family, and pray for the strength to nourish their hearts, spirits and souls as well as their bodies.

There is nothing better than to hear him speak of a remembered moment of pleasure and be able to reproduce that for him. There is nothing better than seeing his eyes close and hear that happy sound as he takes a bite of butterscotch pie that his grandmother made and no one could replicate, or the oatmeal chocolate chip hazelnut cookies like his mom used to make, or a key lime pie he proclaims as the best in the world. These are very small things that I can do for him to not only tell him,but show him his worth to me.

A long time ago, another lifetime really, when I was going through a very difficult time and talking with a friend who was a Christian counselor, she told me that I was a righteous woman.  I looked up the quote she had recited, and found Proverbs 31. I appreciated her assessment and thought she was crazy, I was not that good. I was just me, and surely if I was that, I would have been enough for someone.

The concept intrigued me, though, and I researched more, trying to understand. I surely didn't believe that I was this woman - this was an ideal, a goal that I could strive for. I found a beautiful sermon that outlined the characteristics of this extraordinary woman: she is strong, while remaining graceful, poised and dignified; she is trustworthy; as a habit of life, she does good for her husband and family; she is industrious; she is compassionate, she has a husband worthy of respect; strength and dignity are hers; she looks to the future with a smile.

"This is not about size, weight, or magazine cover beauty. This is about character and lifestyle that will be a blessing to any husband or family. And this woman, a wise man will seek her or help her to become just such a woman." I am not this woman, but I strive to become like her. And with God's grace I was given a wise man to help me on my journey. He along with this wonderful life we live help me to be my truest self, and we were both given this community to support us on our journey.

Happy Valentine's Day.... or is it?

Daddy and I were talking this morning about Valentine's Day... more about that in a minute. Then I was talking to a friend who said she hates Valentine's Day. And her sentiments echoed what Daddy and I had talked about this morning (we hardly ever post the day we write, we keep a 'vault' of stuff that we write when we're able,  so when life gets hectic there's something to pull from). So I thought it might make a good post.

Valentine's Day, it's worth knowing where the legend comes from, and just a warning, it's kind of grisly, not graphically so, but not really all completely warm and fuzzy. But the message goes beyond the note, signed "from your Valentine", the message, to me, is that you would be willing to die for your love.

So I would challenge you... is one day enough to show the one you love that you would die for them? Is it enough to show that you would die for the love that you create, and that lives in you? Does a box of candy or a piece of jewelry say all that you wish to say - does it speak the truth of your heart?

No, I am not decrying or trying to minimalize extravagant gestures. I am simply saying sometimes we need to remember that there is great love in small gestures. There is great love in meeting your partner at the door with a smile and a look that says, "I'm so glad you're home. Now I finally am, too." There is great love in meeting requests with a smiling, "Yes, love." There is great love in crafting, meals and treats you know he enjoys. There is great love in coming home from work and taking the children so she can have ten blessedly quiet minutes to complete a task, or half an hour to read a book, or sit in the yard with a cup of tea. There is great love in touch, a brush against your cheek for no reason than to show that your heart swelled when you looked at them, or when you see the mark of the world on them and you wrap your arms around them to protect them and wipe it all away with the tears that cleanse their souls.

I wonder when we lost sight of that, and thought we could only say I love you, once a year? My friend and I said that seems like it's something you have to do, not something that you thrive on doing, something that feeds you in the feeding of your love.

So Ward, my heart, my Daddy, my love, I pray that I take full advantage of every opportunity to show you the depths of my love. Today, you received a coupon book for things like a massage, your favorite cookies, stress relief, grace when it's difficult - in the rare event that you err. I would hope that I extend these things every day in my expression of love for you. But I am human, and sometimes I miss the signs of need, or get wrapped up in the day and forget those little extras. So please use these to remind me to never let the day go to bed without telling you how much you touch me, how essential you are to me and to our family, and how very, very much I love you. Happy Valentines's Forever, my Love.




HIS POV:
Love is a beautiful thing that deserves to be nurtured and fed every single day of the year. Can we give less than our very best to the people that we love? Didn't think so. Love, passion, reciprocity and the clear and loud expression of our hearts that's where it begins and it never ends.  June my darling, today you received a letter with a surprise and a coupon book of your own... I am human as well, I make errors but yet you love me anyway and everyday is like a holiday, every meal a feast, you make my heart sing forever my love.

Things I struggle with (HoH Edtion)

                                           

   I'm not a perfect person... no there are many things I wish that I didn't do. In this most beautiful journey I have learned so very much, not just about June and her needs, but my own as well. I have discovered that there is much more to me than even I would have dared to guess. June has been, and continues to be my greatest inspiration, my greatest blessing and the greatest gift the Lord has ever seen fit to grace me with. She makes me want to be a better man, and sometimes this leads me to take examine my heart of hearts and perform the sometimes difficult task of working on some of the things that I struggle with. I'd love to be able to say that I've handled everything with grace, dignity and an unselfish heart.  Sadly, this has not always been so. I have had to learn that being the head of home comes with a lot of responsibility and to fall short in this responsibility is to fail his family.

                                                

  I guess it doesn't exactly make me unique or shocking, but I worry about being the best dad I can be for our children. I'm sure that you recall June mentioning that our children are in fact special needs and this can be a challenge in the best of times. They are beautiful, loud, boisterous, active and engaging boys... I am loathe to admit it, but sometimes after work I find them challenging. Sometimes all I want to do is come in give June a kiss and a hug, sit down and watch Sportscenter.

I have learned that being a good dad means taking time to listen, and to be involved in a child's education. When I came into June's life, I knew that I needed to make a positive impact on the life of these two beautiful boys,  they were hungry for male energy, they needed discipline, love and the encouragement of seeing a happy, healthy relationship. I hope that one day they can say that I've done a good job of raising them into good men who are productive members of our society. I worry that sometimes I am too stern with them, and that I push them a little hard, but at the end of a long day seeing their smiling faces lifts my heart.

                                                             

                                                

  

June's love and affection have changed me for the better and as stated previously, she makes me want to be a better man for her. I recall the times when I could have used better words, or found a way to be more supportive, and I cringe at my rapidity and my  lack of sensitivity.  I want to be the man the Lord would have me be for her. To lead a family, to be a good father, a good husband is not enough... I want to be the best I can be for them and I hope that I grow to be a better leader and a better example.  The love of family is a sweet, spicy drug that I am addicted to... it's sultry essence flows through me and inspires my deepest heart.

                                                       

Discipline in this community often times has a negative or corrective connotation, but for us it is not always so.  For us discipline is  a choice, it is bond, it is that which draws us together, what helps us overcome our greatest obstacles and ensures we stay on a path that speaks to our love as a couple and family.  Sometimes this means recognizing the subtle signs of her stress at the end of the work day.  Sometimes it means her taking my hand and giving me the chance to shake off bad emotions before they can creep into our happy home. Sometimes, knowledge doesn't make things any easier does it?  Knowing what one needs or what one needs to do doesn't always make things any easier or fun.... but that's the beauty of it.  Seeing her smile, seeing that radiance... She's my reason and her love inspires even when task seems long at days end. She also knows me, she knows my heart and she knows that sometimes, stress can get the better of me.  Thankfully she doesn't let that happen any more than I do... many times she has put the hairbrush in my hand and lain across my lap, somehow knowing what I needed before I did.

 

                                                  

I know that I don't deserve any of this, my family is a gift, the highest act of grace from the Lord above and even when I struggle, even when I don't handle things well their love humbles and blesses me.  Even through stress and doubt and the scars of the past I continue to learn as much as I teach.It is an honor to be a teacher, a protector, a provider, to the finest woman in this land, and the two best kids anyone could ever ask for.  It isn't always an easy job, but in it I find my finest hours and my deepest blessings

                                               

Her POV
*Smiles*
I think that my Man is much too hard on himself. But I think that that is part of the magic that keeps us each serving the other. I am grateful for the things that he brings to us, and I completely understand wanting to be the best that he can be...I also want to be the best that I can be for him and for our family. He was not used to children. He was used to grown men who were pretty much unquestioningly obedient... and me, who is the same, lol. He had expressed this concern to me, so we worked out a system. I will not correct him in front of the children. I believe in presenting a united front. If he kind of starts shifting to the Navy Boot Camp kind of child-rearing method, I simply lay a hand on his arm, and he dials back. I think that's pretty awesome.

 He has also changed me for the better. He has made me stronger. He has made me a better, more confident mother. He has made me happier. My therapist remarked on what a difference from when I started therapy to now, and going back over the charts and her notes and things, the change started when Ward entered our lives. The deeper we fell, the better things got. For the first time in my life, I know that someone truly loves me just because I exist, that he has my back. He provides me with love, safety, security, structure, support...simple things that I am only enjoying for the first time in my life. 

I have seen both of us blossom with joy. Neither of us was a very...relaxed or humor-filled person before. Now we love to laugh. We find humor in small things. And it is amazingly freeing to collapse into giggle fits, both of us with tears running out of our eyes. Our children love to watch, they love to participate, and they love to tease us. Our youngest things it's amazing to see us kiss. He gets the wryest look on his face, a big grin and says, "I guess you're gonna kiss now!", or "AGAIN?!" Yup! lol!

Discipline, as Ward says, is an integral part of our journey, of our dynamic. We don't see it as a negative ... we don't even see correction as a negative, frankly, as it serves to restore order and equilibrium and to clear the air. We view discipline as essential to maintaining an even keel, to keeping our roles well defined, to keeping the need to serve each other at the fore of our minds. If I need his help with stress, he gives it willingly, and it is his choice if this comes in the form of pleasure, or simply cuddling, or discipline. I do seem to interpret his signals equally as well, and I will offer whatever comfort he needs, be it a massage, some gentle caressing and cuddling, or offering him my bottom. I am his woman, I am his little girl, I am his submissive, I am his to use as he needs, his to use as he sees fit. 

I am by no means perfect. But somehow I am perfect for him. I fill the needs that have left him empty for a lot of his life. And he - he completes me in ways I never thought possible. No, he may not be perfect. But he IS perfect for me. He is everything I have ever dreamed of and thought out of reach. He is love and healing and learning. He's mine. And I thank God every moment of every day for him.