Born Like This (Erotica)

The strength of curves...

the blind hunger of passion's wicked keen sting.
We were born like this...
for this,
for the nights pining away from each other's arms,
for the quite disorienting hunger that stays with us wherever we go.

Hazel green eyes,
soft plump curves,
long sexy hair and an angel's smile/devils grin.

We go to work,
still tasting each other,
still hungry for each other,
still making love to each other...
distractions abound,
each aching second,
each sluggish hour
devoured by the cruel scourge
of the clock's laughing face.

A pleasurable dance,
a taste of your laughter
and just a splash of bright vibrant pain...
you dance over my lap squirming,
gasping and mewing
just like a newborn kitten.

Ayyo, we where born like this for this.
Each garish second slipping into nothing.
I taste the vibrant beauty of your energy,
I feel the smooth caress of your blatant, bright sexuality.

I am honored by your gift,
pleased by your affection,
and enhanced by your desire...
yes...
Born like this,
for this,
for the sweet admiration
of your bright searching smile,
your mischievous playful fingers,
and the restful pleasure of your succulent breast.

I was born like this,
for this
for you and your pleasure.
Your taste haunts me
and I wait knowing,
smiling,
that you were born like this too.

Ward - 2010

Transformation

Scared and sacred are spelled with the same letters. Awful proceeds from the same root word as awesome. Terrify and terrific. Every negative experience holds the seed of transformation - Alan Cohen 

 One of my favorite songs, and one of the first songs I gave to Ward is "Turning Page", which is on the playlist for this blog. And the line in the song that first spoke to me echoes the picture above:
"I surrender who I am
to who you are"

I love that line. It speaks to transformation. Transformation speaks of something deeper, to me, than change. Change is to cause something to be different. How many of us have been in relationships where we have been told we were loved, and then constantly told how we need to change? 

You know those helpful comments. Oh, you've really gained weight since that picture! I know this is completely not your style, but it will look so much better on you that what you wear. You really need a new job, they don't pay you enough.

Where change means to make something different, change your shoes, your clothes, your hair, your job, the stores you shop at, transformation means to change the function or condition of something, to convert it. Transformation is magical. When I met Ward, I had given up hope. I thought there was no one who could love me in my perfect imperfection. I felt pretty much broken. Did he fix me?

 Well he's working on it. It's a big job. Is he trying to change my clothes? My body? My shoes? My job? No. Well then by golly, how in the world is he fixing you? 


He is working on transforming my thoughts. He is working on transforming my beliefs about  myself, my abilities and my worth. Every time I beat myself down, he lifts me back up. Every time I feel defeated, he shows me where the victories lie. And he has shown me that all the work will make us stronger. 

I have said I cannot say I regret any of the things that have happened in my life, no matter how sad or how badly they broke me. Because every choice, every experience, every single one has made me who I am, every single one has brought me to where I am. Those experiences brought me my children, and brought me Ward. 

And I have landed in gentle, guiding hands that have lifted me up and taught me that I can still fly.

His POV:

Sometimes the greatest gift of all is unconditional  love and acceptance. Transformation, becoming deeper, adding a layer of love and strength goes so much deeper than words can say. June grows to blossom and I stand as a Titan because of her love and her confidence in my leadership and  love... and for that I will always be honored and humbled to call myself her Man.

Surrender

This is gonna be long, folks. I'm still processing.

I have always been the kind of person who thinks....too much. This is something I learned early in life, and I'm good at it. It comes from growing up with a father that wasn't there and a womb donor that was a drug-using, alcoholic schizophrenic. She was abusive in every way possible...every way. I lived on guard all the time. When a question was asked the walls engaged, the fortress on full alert, and my question to myself was "What answer will not get you killed today?"

I bring that up because I was talking about it in therapy today, talking about why I react the way I do to things. I'm one of those people who feels things sometimes that I may not fully understand. Talking and writing helps me to process and come to an understanding. I've been chewing on something since Ward made the no distance rule, and what lead up to it. I honestly wasn't aware that I was creating distance, not till I was two or three days into it. I don't like that distance. I don't want it. I am forever grateful that he loves me enough to pull me back.

So I understand what I do and where it comes from, but I don't understand why it exists between Daddy and myself. I said in a previous post that I trust him... I do. I have passed submission to him, I have surrendered to him. I have literally put my body, mind, heart, soul and ego into his hands. I have complete and utter trust that he will never abuse them, or his authority. So what is this distance?

I know this about myself. I have always been like this. I have always wanted to lift others up. So here is the distance. When something bothers me - because I think too much - okay, okay - way too much..... I keep it inside, because Ward is SOOOOOO good. And I recognize on some level that it's ridiculous to feel that way. But I'm 6 sometimes, I'm his little girl. I process things like a child...even when the grown up part of my brain is being....well grown up.

So I think I am being all mature, and grown-up and responsible and handling things just great on my own. I don't have to trouble him with it. It's unfounded, and if I give voice to it, I'm afraid he will feel convicted by my unfounded feelings. And I don't want that, I want him to feel good, right? But he doesn't feel good, he feels distance.

And then in writing to my friend today I realized, I am doing Ward a great disservice. He is my partner, he is my leader, he is my Daddy. It is his job to guide me. It is his job to protect me. It is his job to dispel the false beliefs I carry with me. When I keep those things to myself I am not giving him the opportunity to guide me, I am not giving him the opportunity to teach me. I am not giving him the opportunity to blow away those useless, damaging things into the wind, like a dandelion puff.


I owe you an apology, Daddy. I thought my surrender was complete. I see that it was not. I held back some little part in an attempt not to be hurtful. I see now that it was more hurtful to hold it, even with the best of intentions. So I surrender that last little piece to you, that last thing that I have held back, my last defense.


 I don't need it with you. I don't need it anymore. You are my defender now. You are my knight in shining armor, and you will slay all my dragons.

Authority

Authority is another of those concepts that make a lot of people bristle. This is another one of those words that people misconstrue, I think. When you say you are in a Dominant/submissive relationship they seem to assume that you are in a relationship with a domineering person, a micro-manager, someone who is small and petty and controlling. A good Dominant is in control of himself before he ever assumes a leadership role. Just because someone has authority does not mean they are authoritarian.

Ward is my authority. He is not my authority because he dictated it. He is my authority because I give him my submission. I give him authority over me. I accept his authority in our relationship. I respect his authority.

I do not respect his authority because he demands it. I do not respect his authority because he is bigger. I do not respect his authority because he is louder. I respect him because he respects me. I respect his authority because my Ward is possessing of a thing that I like to call quiet command.

Quiet command is probably something that is personal to me, but I know that others will understand the concept. One possessing of quiet command does not need to raise his voice to be heard. He is a person who can walk into a room and be felt before being seen. He is a person who is strong, who people naturally seek for counsel. He is authoritative, he inspires confidence.

Ward is not authoritarian, never a dictator. He seeks to know my heart, to understand what I think and feel, and how I am affected by the things that happen around us. Even when I am willing and ready to stuff down my feelings, because I think it's best or not very submissive (yeah, I know I think too much), he draws it out, he knows something is there I am concealing. He gently pulls it out of my heart. He reminds me that he is there to help me. He is there to remind me I am worthy. He is there to remind me that my thoughts and feelings are important, they may be misguided or self-destructive, but they inhabit my heart & mind and he wants to address them.

We began as friends. And I grew to trust him. And from that trust grew a love so deep and so fierce and so deeply entwined into every fiber of my being that I can lay my ego in his hands. And that is because I can trust him not to abuse my trust or his authority. I trust him to build the structure of our lives. I trust him to hold us up. I trust him to teach us to laugh and to fly.

His POV:

Authority is more than being loud, or commanding. Authority is the tool that we use to provide direction, balance, support and structure.  I try to be the man that June deserves and I value her input so very much, she has given me the honor of being the leader in our relationship and that is a privilege that I try very hard to be worthy of. Knowing that June has my back at all times and is comfortable with my leadership and decision making skills is an amazing blessing that allows me to function and perform at my best and it also keeps our relationship on track and where we need to be. At the root of it all is a  love vibrant and  living and a true desire to lead from the front and be the Gentleman that she can look to and be proud of!

Rules

I just posted the rules we currently have in place. And thought I'd take the opportunity to expand on those here.
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1) No disrespect

           Well, this one is one of the 4 D's of DD. It's pretty much a no brainer. And it's not just a rule for the     s-type. There should be mutual respect and courtesy, listening to each other, actually hearing each other, considering the other person's feelings, thoughts and desires, and not discounting the other person.

2) No disobedience
           Another of the 4 D's. I am expected to be obedient to Daddy direction, and not just the letter of the law, but the spirit of the law (read that no testing/pushing - well you could *grin*, but there are consequences). But I am not inherently a pusher anyway.

3) No dishonesty
           Another "D". This one gets tricky, because dishonesty can take on many insidious forms. If I omit telling something because I know I'll get in trouble, I lied. If I keep my feelings back because I think they are unreasonable and I can work it out, that's lying by omission, too, and it doesn't give him the opportunity to address my feelings and insecurities.

4) No danger

           Another "D". Nothing dumb like ignoring health, drinking and driving, texting and driving.

5) No distance

           This is a custom "D" for us - and funnily enough I found today on that fellow blogger Stormy has as well. I have these little wars with myself, things I think will stress Daddy, over things he has no control over. So I keep them inside instead of talking to him about them. Then I get kinda quiet and a little short in my responses, like I'm afraid I'll give too much away. I hadn't even realized till I read Stormy's blog post on distance that it was pretty passive-aggressive. Like I'm kind of holding him responsible for the things he can't control. It's his duty and I do understand that. I'm grateful to Stormy for that insight. I was already trying to stop. Had asked Daddy for help with that rule, cause sometimes he's aware days before I am. But armed with that insight, I will be extra vigilant.

6) No self-deprecation

           I am a beautiful, vibrant woman, with a good heart (Daddy's words). I am not permitted to make self-deprecating remarks. I am to try to see myself in the manner in which Daddy sees me. And believe him when he tells me. This one kind of feeds into the respect one, if you think about it. If I denigrate myself, I am questioning both his judgment and his veracity.  Like the one above, that gives me extra incentive to follow this rule.

7) No bad language

           I am an intelligent woman, and I can represent myself better than using vulgar words to punctuate my speech. Young ladies do not use unseemly language.
8) I will engage in self-care
            Daddy will provide opportunities for me to take care of myself. When I am rested and relaxed, I bring better energy into our home. When Daddy provides those opportunities I will not use them to do extra things around the house. If Daddy provides funds for self-care, I will use them for their intended purpose, not things for the house or other family members.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The list will grow and evolve as we do, I'm sure, and that's what this is all about, isn't it? Growth. 

His POV:

Rules are that which allow us to form the basis of structure. I love June more than I can easily tell you.  And it is with love in mind that these rules are created. Many of these rules may seem obvious, but all of them are designed with the best interest of our relationship in mind. I could never ask her to do something that I don't do myself and I would never seek to stifle, I'm sure there may be more rules added in time but we think this is a good start!

Spanking and Submission

Daddy got home from four days away today. Daddy's job sometimes mandates that he is gone for extended periods of time, during which communication is impossible. I've gotten somewhat used to it, if I am well prepared. This time neither of us was, he went to work & came home having been told he would be gone four days. Dread. But I'm a good girl. I can do this - except it's hard to be without my Daddy - it's really hard. He called as soon as contact was possible, and it was like the first breath of air in four days. We talked for a good long time. And he needed rest. He had been up at one point for over 30 hours during the 4 days - and he was sick when he left.         

He had a few things to do so was running around and I received a text "Be ready for a spanking later, love. I love you."  I got a little anticipatory thrill all through my body, and texted back - just a little breathless, "Yes, Daddy". I had wanted one. I started needing one yesterday, while he was still away. Why? I miss him. I need to feel his authority. I need to feel my place. I need the intimacy and closeness that it brings. I need the trust it implies. I need to surrender to him. When I can't, I'm just not myself. C's Loving Domestic Discipline Blog discusses several types of spankings, and Daddy discussed the reasons for some in a previous post. I guess this one was kind of a combination stress relief/good girl/submission/just-because spanking.

I've seen some posts on other blogs that I wanted to answer on just this subject - the just-because kind of spanking. And it kind of puzzled me. The HoH's request to lay over his lap was met with panic, and refusal, and assertions of humiliation. I wanted to respond, but I was afraid that my responses would be seen as judgment, and that is not the case. We're all different. It is not humiliating to me. Submitting is humbling, but never humiliating. But to me it's what I negotiated when I surrendered to Daddy, I gave him authority over me.

He understands me very well. He sees what I need, even when I don't. Don't get me wrong, I am not at all averse to asking for a spanking if I need one or want one. Daddy is always in control of discipline, even if I ask for it.  Just sometimes I think it's more important that he initiate the process, like today. So that text was very welcome. He needed to give and I needed to receive. And now everything is as it should be. Daddy's home again, and so am I.

Trust

I trust Ward. I trust him with my heart. I trust him with my life. I trust him with our life. I trust him with my children. I trust him with OUR family. I trust him with our future. Because of the trust we have in each other, we have a future.

What is trust? Have you ever noticed that when you talk of trust with people that they tend to bristle, and that their defenses tangibly engage? Have you also noticed that they can't really define it? For me, trust is the desire to make myself vulnerable to him. It is the desire to be completely naked before him, completely honest and without guile. It is not being afraid to show him my throat and my soft belly, knowing they will be met with his soft kiss, and his gentle touch and not sharp teeth.

Trust in this kind of relationship means relinquishing control. Maybe that's why they bristle. Loss of control is a hot button issue. But that's a misconception, I have not lost control. I have given him control. I have given him authority. It was not given lightly. It's a long, slow process. And he never shrank once during the process. Instead, he stretched to accept and encompass all that I am. And every time he did, my trust grew. I don't have to try to be anyone except exactly who I am, and he delights in and treasures that. Which grows my trust - what a lovely cycle!

Trust and authority kind of go hand in hand - so many of these topics in this lifestyle seem to go hand in hand. And I guess in the upcoming post on authority we'll talk more about trust.

And just an aside. If anyone has any questions at anytime, please feel free to ask either Ward or myself, on or off the blog. Just please understand that sometimes Ward will need a day or so to be able to respond because of the hours he works. But he will be most happy to answer any questions you have. And so will I.

Elements

I would like to post a quick apology to everybody, especially June, I haven't really been able to give my Point of View on a lot of the posts here. For various reasons, life has kept me on my toes lately. 

I would like to talk today about some of the elements of life and the sometimes desperate need for balance and affirmation.

Purpose - Purpose gives us all that  reason to get out of bed, it gives us that song in our heart and our reasons for reasons so to speak

Love - Love encompasses all that we do, in this life we live, I have no agenda, no backup, no ulterior motives, just complete and unconditional and undying love. In all it's many forms,  I long to give and receive love in grand measure.

Strength - Strength is a vehicle of sorts, always to guide, always to protect never to intimidate or abuse, strength gives us the ability to  do that which we and ours need done.

Passion - Now this one is a personal favorite of mine... Passion is that fire that ignites deep within... it is that spark, nay, that explosion that pushes us to the pursuit of that which we hold dearest.. It is the passions of Men and Women that truly drive them... Passion does have it's problems, but we will talk about that later.

Laughter - Perhaps underrated, laughter is so very important for so very many reasons, I've laughed more in the last six months with June than I have in my entire life.... Laughter shuts the day away and brings us closer.

Affection - The verbal and physical expression of love, delight, arousal, appeal and unity...I adore June and I know she feels the same. Showing our love and delight in each other can only make our bonds stronger.

Bond/Unity - That indescribable something that we delight in - finishing each others sentences, knowing the little things that mean the most... sharing a favorite song, the little words, the soft touches, the life we live for not ourselves, but our relationships... and so much more.. .it's a bit hard to describe that...

These are just the basics, and I'm sure if I thought, I could post another hundred or so elements that make relationships not just good but great, but I wanted to start at the foundation. Elements are the fabric of the universe, and even so, the fabric of relationships... Things change and evolve over time but not the truest fabric of a strong love. Over time our bonds grow only  more powerful and that is my fondest wish for you and yours as well!

Well ladies and gentleman this sailor is all typed out... I need to go and rest,  happy rest of the week and weekend to you all!

Her POV:
Ward had his personal moment a few posts ago, and I guess this will turn out to be mine, because no matter how I slice it, or dissect it, it all comes back to the same thoughts.

I cannot say that my life has had no purpose, that I have not known love, that I have not been possessed of a terrible strength, that there has not been some measure of passion, some laughter (though many more tears), a great deal of affection, and a certain bond in my life before Ward. I'm a mother, I have two beautiful children. But those elements in that kind of love are to an extent finite. If I do the job of mother to an admirable degree, I give those gifts to them so that they can give them to their partners. This love has a season, and I am meant to be replaced. And that is as it should be.

I have, outside of being a mother, never in my life experienced these emotions. And I have cried the tears of emptiness, I have been so hollow I have echoed and ached at the coldness. I had pretty much given up on finding that piece that would fill all the hollows and allow me to be complete. And I guess the old saying is true, when you stop seeking, love will find you.

In the quietest of moments appears a man, beautiful in spirit, with a quiet, gentle strength. He shines with a light that is exquisitely beautiful. I look at this man and find acceptance, and surprise, and other things begin to stir. Admiration grows, broken lollipop moments become common, exploration, and one day a declaration, I think I could fall in love with you. And I you. And slowly it grows and then the realization that I no longer walk alone.

And now I have my own song, a purpose that will be mine all my days to treasure he who treasures me. The love that I give is accepted and returned a thousandfold, with no agenda other than to elevate each other. It is living it flows from one to the other and grows and washes over us and heals and encompasses and shines. I draw my strength from him, and I give him my own. I do things I never dreamed I could because of him. I burn with many kinds of passion for him, and for our family, renewed and strong. As Ward said, I have never known as much laughter in the whole of my life as I have experienced with him. There is joy in sharing and in loving and being loved, of accepting unconditionally and being accepted, of treasuring and being treasured. There is a warmth that shines in my soul for Ward, pure unadulterated affection, and a bond that grows stronger by the moment. There is a need for small things, to lay my hands on his chest, to rest with my ear against his chest and hear his heartbeat, to lace my fingers in his, to look up into his most beautiful eyes and see that smile that makes me thrill every single time.

Simple things, elemental, but the elements together define a living breathing, growing love for which I bend my knees and bow my head to my creator for gifting to this once very weary soul. I love you, Daddy, you are my treasure.

Spankings...

I would like to talk a bit about spankings... It seems the very word itself makes my mind, body and spirit react. Spanking is definitely a integral part of the life that June and I share.  We use spanking for many purposes, and indeed it finds much meaning and fills several different niches within each of us.

For me it is as easy and natural as walking or breathing air.   June has a taste for spanking that matches and if you can believe it nearly surpasses my own (nearly)... and with such a beautiful bottom how could I resist?

Truly spanking is a feast for the senses the crisp sounds of flesh against flesh (or wood, or leather or other material)  the soft scent of lavender (eau de June) and of course the beautiful sight of cheeks reddening and bouncing across the knee... indeed friends it is quite stimulating to say the least.

Spanking enthusiasts, also called "spankos" often find unique ways to incorporate spanking into their lives and relationships, some of the classic reasons for spanking within a relationship include

- Domestic Discipline
- Erotic Play or Exploration
- Corrective Punishment
- Motivation
- Fun
- Role Play
- Just Because (One of our favorites)

 In today's world there are so many resources  (keep your eyes peeled, we'll post some links here soon)
that make spanking safe and accessible to those interested. I would encourage you all to give spanking a try in your lives and relationship. June and I would be more than happy to answer any questions that you may have (feel free to drop me an off-line message).  We have found that spanking is a healthy, creative lifestyle that has many wonderful benefits, benefits that include

-  A Strong, Lasting Bond
-  A Healthy Libido
-  Substantially Fewer Disagreements or Arguments
-  A wonderful exploration and appreciation of each others body, mind, and spirit

 And I could go on and on, but point is, spanking enhances our love and brings us even closer together and with a little discussion and trial and error I am quite sure it can do the same for you!  Let us know if we can answer any questions!

Her POV:
Mmmmmmhmmmm, what he said! I should probably explain how Daddy and I met. We both belong to FetLife.com. I had pretty well come to the conclusion that there was no one whose particular kink matched mine. Face it, in the wide world of BDSM, the spanko is a fairly tame beast.

Like the more secular Facebook, FetLife lets you see what activities your friends engage in. One of my friends commented on one of Ward's writings, so I checked it out. It was perfectly lovely, and I dropped him a note, just to tell him that I found it uplifting. (Yup, I'm the weirdo who calls a store supervisor to say they received great service, or a restaurant to say that a meal was superb - I believe that people complain, but are too lax about giving praise. It's one way to spread grace.)

He responded and we struck up a friendship, and found lots of things in common. And little did either of us know it, we were connecting on a very deep level. I had no idea at that point that I had a little, and struggled shortly after that, coming to terms with that, but Ward saw it. and he drew her out. And it was nice to be unguarded with someone.

It was also lovely to share my hunger for physical sensation with Ward. I have craved spanking from a very young age. It's hard to find someone who shares that. I'm a very lucky woman to have Ward. Yes, it plays many roles in our life. Our favorite is the just because - the sun is shining, the day ended in "y", I sneezed - don't need a reason. It just feels good. And the spiritual connection is amazing. Then there are the days Daddy has a bad day at work, or I am so stressed I could scream. It helps to ground me. It helps me to feel my place, it helps me to feel Ward's authority, it helps me to feel Ward's love - he loves me enough to give me what I need. Erotically, wow, what can I say? The mere thought of being across Ward's lap does wild things to my body.

The discipline and corrective aspect, well that is part of any DD relationship. It's necessary, and I am grateful that Ward does not let me put distance between, that he loves me enough to pull me back, even when it is hard for him to do so. Yes, folks, discipline and correction is difficult, for the D-type as well as the s-type. My only wish is that even when it's hard that I can submit to Ward's wisdom with grace. Thankfully, those times are few and far between. Cause it's too much fun to be so serious all the time!

Unconditional Love

" Awash in a sea of dreams I found your hand, you gave me the honor and privilege of guiding and protecting you.  Like a faery born aloft on the dreams of the wind you gave rise to my purpose and my heart" ~ BTL"


 There are so many things to treasure in this life... A happy, warm  home, comfort and security, and a true unconditional love that makes the heart swell to give it name.  Honestly, it wasn't too long ago that I was beginning to think that real, old-fashioned love just didn't happen to folk in the modern age, especially for someone like myself.  I thank the Lord that I was wrong... June brings so much light and joy to my world that it really is hard for me to remember or recall anything that happened before I was blessed to have her in my life.  It is in this spirit that I endeavor to go forward  with a spirit of  appreciation.

 Sometimes I think there isn't a way that I can show my affection and appreciation for her adequately.   She continues to be there for me when I know that sometimes life is no picnic for her too. I don't think I will ever be able to appreciate her beautiful smile, the softness of her skin and hair or say "I love you" too much...

I won't always get so personal on this blog, and I apologize for doing so now, but sometimes, it's important to say it loud and proud. I love you June, and even though distance hurts and schedules don't always mesh,  my heart is yours and I would grow with you... more...

Fear

In my last post I spoke about negative emotions that sometimes come with accountability. In this post I wanted to address fear. People not in this kind of relationship may misunderstand the origins of the fear. They might think, if you fear being accountable, if you fear correction, why would you submit yourself to it? 

It's not the physical aspects of correction that brings fear. Frankly, spanking can be quite yum! Sometimes all I can think about is:

We are spankos, we enjoy it. We use it in play. We use it in discipline. It allows me to feel and reminds me of my place in our relationship, safe, protected, treasured, held in the palm of his hand. We use it in correction. It allows me to offer up my guilt and allows us to clear the air. Some people don't agree that if you regularly use spanking in play that it can be a useful tool in correction. Thankfully, Ward is of the same understanding as I.

So if we like it, how is it effective as an instrument of correction? And what is it that I fear if I don't fear these:

I fear knowing that I have disappointed not only Ward, but our relationship. I fear knowing that I have given less than my best. I fear:

And even here, Ward is loving and supportive. It is not me that is bad, it is the course of action that I choose which was undesirable. I am not a disappointment, my behavior was disappointing. 

The ritual, his voice, his words, his hands carry his message of love, diligence, leadership, reconciliation and unconditional love. He won't let the fear come between us. He will carry us from that fear back to peace and comfort and closeness. 

Vulnerability

You will receive love only to your ability to be vulnerable enough to let it in. Love between two people is a fearless state of being where who you are and who they are is given and received without fear of engulfment or abandon. The underlying belief of this state is complete trust regardless of outcome."

~Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath~

I saw this quote in my FetLife feed this morning, and it struck me. I think it's funny how this, and in fact several of the other topics seem inextricably intertwined.

There is intrinsically a physical vulnerability in any lifestyle relationship. In the committed ones, there is also an incredible emotional vulnerability. The submissive partner is not the only one who makes herself vulnerable. Accountability makes her vulnerable. Obviously she makes herself physically vulnerable for discipline and correction. She also makes herself vulnerable with honesty, and with being open and willing to her partner and his leadership, to following with grace. 

Make no mistake, the Dominant partner makes himself incredibly vulnerable, I'd like Ward to expand on that. But he's not home from work yet, and has one of those killer 30+ hour shifts tomorrow, so it may be a day or two until he can post.

The Dominant partner steers the ship. He assumes the responsibility for the decisions, which means he also assumes the responsibility for mistakes. He accepts responsibility for the actions of those he leads as well. Being the partner who holds the other accountable, he becomes vulnerable to her emotions: fear, discontent, confusion, anger, self-blame, sadness, remorse. He has to help her past those emotions, to forgive her and show her how to forgive herself, to build something positive, constructive and edifying from the experience.

Ward has said that in all things he will not fail me, be that being the biggest cheerleader I will ever have, my support when I feel overwhelmed, or the one who upholds discipline in our family. He has to make himself vulnerable to present his vision for our family. He has to make himself vulnerable to express his joy, his disappointment and his pride. I trust and treasure that. I trust and treasure him. 

And in this, too, I see the symbiotic cycle of exchange. I feed and support his leadership, and he feeds and supports my submission. And those are the things which feed and nurture our relationship, intimacy and our family. 

I love you, Daddy, you're my once in a lifetime.