DD/TTWD, Spanking, and Self-Discovery

                                                        

                                                                    

DD/TTWD is truly an amazing, vibrant lifestyle. We get the benefit of learning and being even more mindful of our partner's ideas, thoughts, dreams and desires. Even though June and I came into our relationship "as is", we have also discovered much about each other. When we were at the "feeling out" stage of our relationship,  there was certainly some trepidation about some of the things that we both felt and enjoyed. We have routinely  been delighted to find out that our communication has  led to us  being completely and utterly on the same page. June and I have come to realize that we probably belong to a sub-category of DD/TTWDers that may in fact be all our own.  We have alluded to, suggested, and even plainly stated that we are in fact spanking enthusiasts as well as a practicing DD/TTWD couple.

                                                                  

 I guess to some that might seem like an oxymoron, but June and I couldn't imagine life any other way. We also know that there are quite a few professed "spank-nos" out there.  I would also go a bit further and dare ask a question.... What if the line were blurred? What would happen if spanking wasn't used strictly for correction? What would happen if you discovered a wonderful tool that led to you talking more, touching more, kissing more, and making love deeper and stronger?  I'm sure you're all saying that it's easy for me to say and that my own backside isn't on the line, but truth is that far beyond correction or even discipline, there is something about spanking that calls to our shared sense of intimacy. It's more than just sexy, it's more than just something we do, it's who we are and what we share with nobody else. It brings us clarity, focus and speaks deep of the devotion that we hone daily.

                                                                                                 

                                           

 It doesn't necessarily have to be spanking.  We realize  that everyone is different, unique, special. That is in fact part of the magic of relationships. Romance, dedication and communication can unveil more than what simply passes a passionate fancy... No, sometimes intimate, connective time unveils a deeper side of our relationship. The kind we guard, the kind we have a thirst for... Those defining intimate moments that you savor while you are at work and pop into your head while you are doing a load of laundry. Even now typing this I am reminded of the thirst I have for June's love, affection, touch and sweet, soft kindness.  Every day in every way this energy, this intimacy defines a relationship.  June and I just happen to think that spanking in it's many sumptuous forms happens to be a perfect vehicle for this.

                                                              

Self-discovery begins with but a few words, communication is the key. Do you have a unrequited passion that you long to share with your partner? Tell them, show them how you feel, and that it's more than that tingly feeling  or something that curls your toes.  Trepidation much?  Sometimes the only way to gain new ground is to take the first step and give voice to our thoughts, dreams, and yes, desires.  Likewise, take the time to give ear to the voice of your partner... Work together to find that special place that belongs to you as a couple and you as a couple alone.  Find that spark, let if blossom into the beautiful flames of deep intimacy. 

                                                  

 Knowing these things, DD/TTWD has actually improved in every aspect for us.  That connection we speak of, that intimacy drives us to be our best. June is the best woman that I've ever had the pleasure to know, and she puts everything into being loving wife, mother, and best friend.  DD/TTWD also makes me want to be a better man, to be a good father and to bring love and light to our family. Who would have thought a teensy, tiny little spanking would do all that?!





                               

Her POV:

I was raised in a culture of guilt. I accept the blame for everything, and I mean everything. I stress from life in general, I didn't do well enough, I didn't give enough, I shouldn't have been annoyed at the children, the laundry wasn't done, I didn't finish an assignment, dinner was delayed or something happened along the way and a step took longer than it should have. I am my own worst critic.

I take things to heart. Sometimes I am overly sensitive. Things are said that are innocuous, but I get upset. Or just the trials of life, things beyond  our control, I fret, and knowing how much is on his plate, hold them in, effectively building walls. I rely on him to help me. Spankings break down those walls and keep us stripped and open, close and communicating.

At other times there is nothing as intimate as laying yourself bare across his lap, open for his touch, in all the ways he chooses to touch you. It is a wonderful, warm, soft, surrendered, vulnerable, cared for, loved, protected feeling. It, too, is stripped away intimacy.

Spanking for us is the tool, the vehicle that we use to drive our relationship. I look to him to support me as I support him, to elevate me as I elevate him, to hold me accountable, to change my 'stinkin' thinkin', to correct me when I stray from our truth, to help me be open, soft, feminine and vulnerable. For us, these things often start with me across his lap, with his leadership and my trust,with my vulnerability and his acceptance, and with the gift to each other of authenticity, of his Dominance and my submission.

What would I give him...

...this man who has my heart?

I offer him my complete deference...my "yes, Daddy."

                        

I offer him my obedience with what I hope is not the slightest of hesitation.

                                                    

I offer him humble acceptance of his loving correction and the reassurance of his discipline...even when it's difficult, even when I struggle...then I offer him the triumph of my stillness.




                                        


















I offer him my pleasure, for surely he is it's source.

        

I offer him my hand, with which to lead me.

                 

I offer him  my unfaltering step in following him.

                       

I offer him my shoulder when his burdens become heavy.

                  

I offer him my heart, bursting with love - the eternal spring he brings to our lives.

                                

I offer him my soul, the essence of who I am, because only with him am I who I was meant to be.

I offer him, my very life, trusting that I am safe in his hands. 

                                                     

I offer him my gratitude for his acceptance of these very humblest of gifts, the only things I have to offer....he accepts them with fervor, with reverence, with joy... these simple, homely things - he looks upon as though their value knew no bounds.

                                                 



What would I give him?

Simpler to ask what I would withhold.....nothing. I am his.

                                                     

...and it does, my love

HIS POV:    

I am truly humbled by June's offering of deepest love.  The desire to fill my world with light and to become that world as surely and deeply as the waters of the ocean.. this is what my wildest dreams are made of. To traipse along the outskirts of heaven and to dance along the cosmos in true unity it puts tears of love and joy in this man's eyes.

Sensitivity and Knowing Our Partners...

                                                                         
                                         

                                        

                                                      

 Happy Holidays people!  June and I will probably be  enjoying holiday break soon and you know what that means.... Friends, Family, Food, Fun, and some much needed time to enjoy a little special time just for us.

We wish you much merry making, and a happy, safe holiday to you and yours! Expect to see a few sporadic posts here and there, but as implied we will probably be pretty busy as this time of year keeps everyone on their toes. I was in a holiday state of mind today and for some reason it occurred to me that the holidays can be a pretty stressful time for our partners and loved ones... I  thought it prudent to share a little about sensitivity. 

                                                         

                                                                        

  One of the greatest things that we can do for our partners is to be sensitive to their needs and thoughts. It isn't always easy to listen with grace, but often it is what is the most beneficial to our relationship. I've been with lady June for sometime now and I have a pretty good idea of what her needs are and how I can meet them. But you know, every now and again, June comes to me and it becomes very clear that the best thing I can do for her (and us) is slow down, take time and really hear her out. Sensitivity isn't always just about listening either.... sometimes it's about showing your partner that what is important to them is important to you too. After all, as with many things in life actions can speak a lot louder than words.

                                                  

I've never been one to make "recommendations" or try to make DD/TTWD a one size fit all application, but I think if all of us are honest, we can all agree that we could show our partners more sensitivity  and appreciation for what is important and special to them. Even the small things in life take on a new vibrancy when we share them with  the ones we love... One of my favorite things in the world is to lay in bed holding June in my arms, listening to the rain on our roof and talking about the day/week's events, sharing thoughts, fears, dreams and ideas.

I'm not unrealistic, and I don't expect June to have the same enthusiasm for some of the interests and hobbies that I have and I think June somehow knows that I think Twilight... well June knows how I feel about twilight!  Still, knowing what is really important and knowing who your partner is can bring you valuable insight into not only who your partner is, but their thought process, their emotional process and in general what they need to remain happy, healthy and functioning at the highest levels.


                                    

 I've shared some of these ideas with my coworkers and sometimes they look at me like I'm from another planet, but I really do believe in my heart that there is so much value in giving your partner the love and attention they need in order to be themselves.Spending time daily and devoting a bit of attention and effort to what makes our partners soul sing can bring a world of good to any relationship.




                                     

 

Her POV 

 

I have been blessed in Ward...yeah, I know you have never heard me say that before, I should really try to be more demonstrative, lol. I have never had a partner take an interest in the things that interest me, even though I have shared theirs with them trying to foster closeness. 

So...even though I know how Ward feels about Twilight, when the newest installment comes out, he'll wrap his arms around me and whisper, "Date night, lovey?" Have I told you how awesome he is?  And he doesn't sit there and denigrate it because he doesn't especially enjoy it, he makes sure that I have the best time, and makes it special for us before and after we are in the seats. When we have family movie day he and I sit there like a couple of best friends, holding hands and giggling at the jokes the kids don't quite get....Witchy Wieners :-P  For my part, I watch football with him and try to get him to teach me so I can share his excitement.

We strive to be very in tune with and to serve the needs of the other. We are  diligent and attentive, and we have a great appreciation because it's really the first time either  of us have had it. For me, it is the most amazing thing to be of consequence. It still takes my breath away.

We wish you and your families the happiest of holidays. We do plan to hibernate just a little, we have a bunch of posts in the can. But we went for months thinking that he would be under the sea about this time. So we plan full well to enjoy every moment with which God has blessed us...like chocolate on the tongue, rich and sweet.

Following Fondles

Fondles had a post this morning (the morning I'm writing this, not the morning you're reading - we had another post just up & one already in the can) about her and  BIKSS' astrological compatibility. I'm a new agey kinda girl, so I wanted to play, too. The site was kinda cool, it let's you see the results both in terms of any relationship, then after you choose your sign, and the sign of the other person, you get a description, and below, links to see how that fleshes out in terms of a love relationship with each sign as each sex (sounds confusing, you'll see when you get there :-P).
So here are the highlights:

 

General Gemini (Ward) & Virgo (me) compatibility:

Gemini and Virgo experience a lot of mental attraction in any relationship they share. They are always on the same chord at the intellectual level to appreciate and learn from each other.

The connections that Gemini people and Virgo have do not necessarily need a full understanding of what the others intend to do but since there is a mutual understanding, a respect to be had and a seriousness between them, then they can have a warm and quite compatible relationship which ever it is. Due to the calm and subtle affection given by each, there is seldom any tension. They continue to grow their unity with peace and comfort, sharing in their curiosities, graceful manner and intelligence which add to their bliss. Gemini could show Virgo the art of social expression, jovial persuasiveness and brilliant conversations. (That's pretty well spot-on).

There is an almost touching and attractive modesty that the Virgo have that allows them to accept Gemini people’s victory in winning the initial battle with their silver tongued manipulation of words.Normally Gemini people like to win every battle, but there is something about the charming and polite Virgo that causes the Gemini to calm their nature and settle down. The need to win is not so important to the normally high strung Gemini.

Virgo are not one to conjure up an argument or even provoke one that is already started. When argument does arise between the two, there is a lot to be said about Virgo’s hesitancy. Their modest and humble nature allows a lot to pass over for a calmer situation to be had.  If an argument were to ensue, to Gemini people it would be more of an intellectual puzzle to conquer but it cuts on a much deeper level for Virgo. Gemini people help the introverted Virgo broaden their scope of thinking and Virgo show Gemini that it is not all about winning every argument that crosses their path. They have a calming and quite serene relationship that is compatible, compassionate with a mutual understanding and respect.

LOVE COMPATIBILITY:
Gemini man possesses a very strong intellect and pretensions in front of him usually fail. In a relationship, he makes a very easy going and loving mate who respects his as well as his partner’s freedom and is always ready. Never suspect about Gemini man because even if it is not expressed directly, he eventually figures it out and feel miserable for it.

Although she is her own worst critic, Virgo woman wants to serve the world and everyone who belongs in it by bringing a systematic order to the confusion and disarray around them. Personal security is a virtue that she works at creating for the future. Being overly organized and efficient is one virtue she takes pride in even though it seems a bit over the top to others. Virgo woman does not have time for unwarranted emotions but she does have a need for affection. In a love affair she is adaptive and affectionate.

Gemini man and Virgo woman are very vocal towards each other. Virgo woman becomes giddy at the new careless lifestyle she is introduced to by her Gemini man. Not much is held back in the relation when it comes to be a Virgo woman with such pure heart and straightforward feelings. The Virgo woman always respects her Gemini man and teaches him to be calm and serene, just like her. When there is a lot of love in the relationship, their words are healing to each other. Virgo woman is beautifully responsive to the needs of her Gemini man and she takes good care of him as she so desires it as well.

A Gemini man is always very pleased to see a disciplined and well maintained Virgo woman; in fact he is fascinated by her charms. Her feminine nature draws him in as well. In the influence of a strong Gemini man, Virgo woman slowly comes out of her insecurities and become more self confident. He always loves to talk with his Virgo woman about her insecurities and help her pull herself from them. Gemini man gives his Virgo woman the freedom she needs to grow and always tries to be there for her when she needs him. They can create a calm and effective love, to hold on for throughout their lives.

A Gemini man and Virgo woman though have many differences but actually that’s the reason they are so much deeply in love and find each other fascinating. Though the Virgo woman may not be a very great conversationalist but the quick witted Gemini man teaches her to expresses her well and let go her insecurities and discomforts. The Virgo woman, on the other hand makes the life her Gemini man stable and strong. She directs him the right way without stepping over his freedom or making him feel bored. They know each other’s weakness and are always ready to become their lover’s strength. The love of a Virgo woman and Gemini man is a deeper and purer form of friendship with such mutual harmony that exists in their hearts and souls forever to keep them bright and sparkling with each other.
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So what do you think? Sound fairly accurate?


HIS POV: 
I'm don't practice Santaria, I have no crystal ball  lol famous last words I know, but in all seriousness, it almost seems like this was written with June and I in mind. She tries so hard to please me and make our home a happy and bright one.  Just the sound of her voice is a beautiful musical thing that elates me.  It would seem they have a pretty accurate insight into my personality as well!