Privileges

I have been struggling with this post for a while. Then today we had a moment, Daddy and I. It's actually been an ongoing moment. You see, we have been hoping that things would gel and conditions would be right to let Daddy leave the military early. Well, things have happened, and Daddy injured his ankle. So he is now disallowed from the process that would have allowed him to leave and be with us, without interruption. So this turned from a post I am struggling with, into a submission exercise. I don't know if this will get published

When he came off the sub, he went to a temporary command waiting for orders. We were rather counting on the process resulting on his being released. He accepted orders to the closest support facility. Because of the boys, and the problems they have with adjustment, and the relatively short time till his contract is satisfied, the boys and I will not be going with him. I'm having a hard time with this. I thought we were done with separation forever.

What does that have to do with this post? I get angry. It's very un-June-like. I apologize. I don't know, as I said if this will get published. Right now this is for him. If it does and someone gets butthurt, I apologize in advance. This is June unfiltered. I'm making this for him and I. Oh, right - the post - keep getting off track.

I get angry. I read sometimes and sometimes just walking in the world-  and I see women with the advantage of waking up with their men every single day, with no worries of having him ripped away. I see women who say they want to submit and then fight their mens' leadership. And I get angry.

   

I wonder if they know the impossible odds of finding that one person who fits out of all this vast sea of humanity?  I wonder if they the feel the fit of his puzzle piece against theirs, snugging  the places that were loose and vulnerable and insecure, and making them strong and unified and safe?

I wonder if  they realize that they have a privilege? A privilege to wake up in the night and feel his heat at their back, to hear his snore. To walk back in from the bathroom and see the lump of his form under the covers and hopefully feel that swell of love burst in their chest, as they race across the floor to curl up against him in the dark. I wonder if they know what a privilege it is to reach a hand absently beside them and have the security of brushing his?

I wonder if they realize the privilege of making dinner for their family, and setting a place at the head of the table, of not having to gaze at that empty space and feel their heart break and stuff it down so the children do not see?

I wonder if they realize that, in most cases they brought DD to the table, asked him to lead. And if they cherish that he takes that responsibility seriously? I wonder if they consider their art, their acquiescence, rather than that knee-jerk contention? I wonder if they know how tenuous all of life is?

         

I wonder if they realize that they have the privilege of having that man next to them in this moment, and how many women do not have that luxury? I wonder if they understand how many women live in fear of that distance, of that separation? It's a simple thing. It's something no woman - no couple -  who loves so deeply and so genuinely should ever have endure. And I get angry.

I am selfish. I want that privilege of lack of fear. I am selfish. I admit it. I am flawed. I own that. I want my man right next to me. I want his voice and his guidance, and his love, every moment of every single day. I want the absence of fear. I want the privilege of bowing to him, I want the privilege of submitting to him, every moment of every day. I want the privilege of feeling myself under his hand. I want it. I crave it. I need it. No amount of being his will ever be enough.

And I wonder, do you know how lucky you are? Are you aware of the privileges you have?
           

 

HIS POV:    
It is a privilege to wake up every morning to lead our family and to see your heart ache so, June, it makes my eyes mist and water.. One day the military chapter of our life will be over and new challenges and blessings await us. Indeed it is a hard thing to watch others struggle so with the blessings that we lack and in the wake of these emotions anger is a very natural and normal reaction.

This post is a post about pure honesty and without putting names to it, we'd like to say that the emotions so rawly and obviously displayed here are not directed towards any one person or persons, it is not our intent to cause hard feelings but  we do readily wish to convey how we feel.

Sometimes it is hard dealing with these things, the desire for assurance and family are desires I have held since entering the military over a decade ago.. Still, I do these things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard and one day, someday I hope that our children can see that even when it was difficult, even when it was heartbreaking that I did my duty like an honorable man... Giving way to sacrifice, I love my family and  though I grind my teeth I can understand how you feel, I love you and thank you for your support even when the night was blackest and day was longest... I thank you for being who you are and for contributing heavily to who we are... thank you, my love.

E-rotica Post #001

          

                                                 





Hello folks, Ward here.  I am introducing a new series of DD/TTWD erotic writings, adventures and stories that will be found exclusively here on our blog.  These writings are 100% original,  and have an emphasis on romance, dominance, submission and the space that lies between a Man and his Lady.  I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I enjoyed writing them.  Who knows? This may just become a regular feature around here! So come on in, take off your shoes, and pop open that bottle of wine.

                    


 The candles flicker and dance to cast  long shadows on the bedroom wall and fill the room with warmth in stark contrast to the cold, beading drops of rain pattering against the window.  Contrast shared by silk and leather, chain and lace, she waits bound hand and foot and blind to all but the dominance she craves. As I walk in the air goes out and the shared gasp we form is eclipsed only by her soft, sweet femininity.  "Good Girl"  I whisper it softly and take a hand full of hair. I bring her lips to mine and kiss her forehead before kissing her lips again and letting my lips dance from her mouth to that special place where her neck and shoulder meet.  She writhes and murmurs beneath my lips, waiting, anticipating wanting... "No little one, I will take my time, I will savor this moment, and the moments to follow. In you I will celebrate beauty and give voice to the passions you provoke... Up!"  One word. A simple command. She obeys. She blossoms under my hand and presents her mind, her body for attention and enrichment.

 She reaches for me, instinctively knowing my position in the room despite the veil over her eyes. I scold her softly and remind her to keep her position. She murmurs obedience as I begin to undress. I remove my hat, shirt and shoes and stop to savor her position, to appreciate it, to relish in her obedience and take this most beautiful gift to my center.  I cup each of her breasts and enjoy the fullness of them in my hand. My fingers gently roll her nipples between them. As they harden, her soft gasps are music to my ears and tonic to my thoughts and dreams.  Fingers and toes grip the sheets as tease her clit with deft finger and pleasurable intent. Sensation rocks her body and she fights it...She fights that urge to break her position... she struggles but she finds her submission again and clings to it.   I tell her how beautiful she is, how she makes my heart swell and my mind swim with the love and passion that she brings me not just in the now when it is easy, but even when things are hard, or when I am at my worst she loves me... she presents to me, she brings me peace she is my everything.

I slide my belt through the loops giving her that belt-whoosh sound that she loves so much.  I crack the belt in my hands and tell her my desires, my expectations that she will take these blows like a good girl, even when it gets intense, I tell her how proud I am of her for taking this bravely.  She affirms this, affirms me with a quiet whisper and when the belt cuts the air and  licks her soft, plush bottom, she keeps still, concentrates and breathes out softly. The strap rises and falls, leaving a beautiful lattice of red stripes that speak to the heat of the moment and our dedication in role.  Just when she thinks she can take no more, loving hands rub and massage.... She moans low and soft, she loves the combination of the searing heat and the loving softness that brings her back to me.  She floats in her submission leaving behind the stress that school, the kids, the bills and life brings.  I fight back my own desire knowing she needs more still.  She's beyond intensity now, she floats on a sea of tranquil head space and deep submission.  She floats on, yet her body responds to the call of mine and the air around us is perfumed with the heady scent of true love.

The strap now, the "yummy" one as she calls it. I flick my wrist and stripe her bottom with it.  Over and over my arm rises and falls and in response she raises her bottom and spreads her legs to receive sensation and welcome pleasure. The strap away I use my hand now... cupping and squeezing her hot bottom, I spank on and add the welcome sensation of sliding a finger against her clit, faintly at times and twisting between my finger and thumb at others, I have her at my mercy.  The familiar sting of the brush jolts her out of her revelry, but remind her that she is mine and that I am hers, nearly finished the spanking continues as three fingers slide inside her and open her for me. Pussy pulsing, cock hardening, wall shaking, I slide into her filling her with pleasure and light. Making love we reach the stars and in sweet embrace we find who we really are. More than just a feeling, more than just each other, we find ourselves. Her bonds now removed, she receives the light and relishes the moment, tasting it with hungry lips and ravenous heart. I growl mine in hear ear, and  she blushes when I tell her to "let this be a lesson to you, young lady." She says, "Yes sir," and pulls me into her arms, tight and strong. She clings to me and I to her. We tether each other in a world adrift and anchor ourselves to our own world. I am her king and she is my queen and that is how it should be. Every day we renew the vigilance to our love. She whispers in my ear. Words meant only for man and wife. I smile as I blush and whisper in her ear the things a wife needs to hear from her husband. These precious hours, this precious life.. this precious woman..  I drift to sleep, yet inside her still coupled and complete, warm and strong, sweet and powerful this love has no comparison

                                                                                                               

                                                                                      

                                                                                

June's Journey and What Spanking Means to Her

You've seen in some previous posts that Daddy will often give me submission exercises to help me feel my place, to expand and understand my submission. These can be physical tasks, or they can be to investigate starting a blog, or to write an essay. Recently he texted me from work and instructed me to write an essay detailing how I feel about spanking, what it feels like, what it does for me and what it means to me.

What emerged was something of my road-map to our dynamic, my road-map home. I asked Daddy if I could share this here.

         

We've talked about how I came into being a spanko before. I just came this way. From my earliest memories, I was fascinated by it, read and cut out all the Dear Abby & Anne Landers posts about it (I can still remember one of them by heart - how weird is that?). As a young adult, I sought stories about spanking. No Internet then, so harder to find people to connect with, or articles, forums - anything where I could have discovered more about myself and my desires. 

Then came the Internet and access to videos - and really? - . Not those crazy contrived scenes, naughty school girls,  or really heavy BDSM  There was a small percentage of them that appealed to me, and most of them had to do with discipline. And not those crazy guys who bill themselves as disciplinarians, bringing all the recalcitrant girls of the world to toe. And not the ones where girls bratted to get spanked, being deliberately disrespectful and defiant - shudders. The ones that appealed to me were the ones that addressed discipline within a relationship, where there was calmness and talking, not anger and yelling and cruel words.

When my ex left and I decided to go in search of what I wanted - needed - I had come to a basic understanding about what spanking did for my emotional state. You already know that I tend to assume responsibility for everything that goes wrong.... hence our newest rule. But I discovered that for me spanking was a way to take that intensity of emotion that I felt pretty regularly, all the stress, all the feelings of having wronged, anxiety, all those negative things, that pain inside and allowed me to transfer it to flesh and - poof - magic. I didn't know yet about DD/TTWD. Where did one go looking for someone willing to spank them?

So I started in the place I thought was the only place to start, with various BDSM 'dating' sites. Everyone just looking for a hook-up & I'm not a hook-up kinda girl. Then I found some spanking dating sites, and pretty much more of the same - I'm  going through your town, can I stop by and spank you? Excuse me? But ummmmm, NO! Then I found Fetlife, not quite as creepy, more like a social network. I found a local group and found someone I could engage with, and do a little exploring, with lots and lots of limits, and it being somewhat of a learning experience, but missing the spiritual component. It gave me some of what I was looking for, but it did not feed my soul. I found some groups with people that I could identify with, and learn more about myself and my desire to submit. I found a mentor, a very nice gentleman, who had a girl, but was willing to answer my questions, and help me understand what and who I was, and to redirect me when people tried to tell me that I was something different.

That niche from the videos, and stories -where could I find that? I kept seeking, and following leads off Fetlife, and came across the concept of DD. There was that thing that I was looking for. There were some factions that were just not for me, I'm not into the whole regimented, formulaic mode, I wanted something organic, something as easy as breathing. There I found another mentor, a woman who identified as a little, and who told me that just because I was submissive didn't mean I had to be an open book for everyone, but only for my one, when I found someone worthy of me. Worthy of me? What a foreign concept.

Then I found you, because the cosmos aligned and because I believe in an attitude of gratitude. I thought you were taken, but you weren't. And all the while I thought you were too good to be true, and certainly too good for the likes of me. And here we are. And you are perfect for me...my puzzle piece. And for the first time, everything is as it always should have been, different than I have ever known, and what I have always dreamed of. You asked me to write what spanking feels like to me, what it does for me, what I think about it. But I had to tell you all of that first, and if you didn't know, if by some chance I have not communicated well enough what you mean to me - you're very different, you're what I have waited for all my life. And everything with you is like nothing ever before. With you I have the spiritual depth that I craved. The first time we spoke, your voice was a key that reached deep down into my belly, into some visceral place that no one ever imagined  and I felt the first turn of the key in what would be the release of my truest self. You gave me the gift of being who I was meant to be.

So for us, it is something deep that we share. For me, spanking is a very deep expression of my submission to you. It is my saying that I trust you with my body, but also with my heart, my mind, my emotions. It is saying that I trust you to understand what I need, and to be diligent in giving it,even if it might be hard, even if you might be tired. I trust that you will put us ahead of everything else, to clear away the barriers, and to ensure that we both feel our places.  I do feel safe in your hands. I feel loved and treasured that you would take the time to give me relief, take the time to establish our roles and allow me to feel soft and submitted, value us enough to clear the air of resentment and petulance and give us the gift of a clean slate, or just engage in this most intimate of acts with me. I feel honored in your acceptance of my humility, and that you lift me and show me that in your eyes, this makes me radiant and beautiful.

In terms of my submission, I don't fear any implement, they are only extensions of the hand of my love. I  lay willingly across your lap, or at your side, and even if I have transgressed, your touch is soft and full of love, your words are soft, sweet, affirming, comforting, and I would take anything that you choose to give me. I relish those little moments of intensity when I feel I might crack, and am able to breathe out that resistance and offer that to you.  I relish that you will feel that intensity, and choose that moment to extend your hand and whisper - Daddy's right here, love, here's my hand - or stop to rub and stroke my bottom, my back, my hair, to stop and speak soft words, to encourage me and speak of your love and pride.

In terms of the physicality, does it hurt? Yes, it does. It's deep stripped-down, nitty-gritty, pain, but it is pure and it is purifying, and I can offer that to you. I love you enough to bear any pain...you know that, and that knowledge is enough. Under the pain, there is the luxury of that deepest of connections. There are the moments, even in the midst of correction that speak to love, devotion, unconditionality, and forgiveness. In discipline, I feel the safety of your Dominance and control, I feel the security of my place, I feel your guardianship, I feel the pleasure that only you can bring. The pleasure is you inside my head, I feel us, pure energy, it's intoxicating and I want more. 

In terms of my emotions, I still believe it takes conflicts and anxieties inside of me and delivers them to flesh where they evaporate. It is a cleansing of all that does not belong inside me, or between us. It is the tool by which we become closer, share more, and by which I become the strongest, best person that I can be.

For us, spanking is part of the thing that defines and continues to refine us. For us it is devotion - your Dominance is your devotion unto me, and my submission is my devotion unto you. For us it is our sacrament.


HIS POV: 

As perfectly stated above, spanking is an engrained and analogous part of our DD/TTWD as well as our life as a fully functioning and communicative couple with a deeply intense bond that is further enhanced by something that is truly, uniquely and totally ours.  June and I both had the unique advantage of having not only a deep understanding and need of dominance, submission and spanking, but also a thirst to affect each other in the deepest and most heartfelt ways.

Spanking itself is a many splendored thing that even now after all of the exploration that June and I have done continues to delight and find new relevance and true comfort in the face of the chaotic world around us. Spanking unlocks June's submission and reveals the tenderest thoughts, brings emotion to surface and purifies both of our hearts.

June m'lady, I am humbled to call you mine and it is a true pleasure to be the facilitator of pleasure, pain, passion and growth in our relationship. I relish the gifts of submission and control that you honor and entrust me with. It is a true honor and the deepest of pleasures to fulfill your desires and needs... Even in correction you know my deepest love and affection. When given in pleasure my body  sings to yours and yours echos pleasure in the deepest.... it is a beauty that I've never known and don't deserve. I will guard your heart and plumb the depths of our love and because of this... this beauty within us, we will grow ever stronger in love and life.

The positive effects of a good spanking

Have you ever sat and considered the impact of a evening devoted to a good, thorough spanking and  earth-shaking love-making and pleasure?  Normally this is something that we probably wouldn't talk about here, but the potential benefits are worth discussing and using.  Throughout the time that June and I have written this blog, we have come to understand that several folks out there are... what's the term?  "spank-nos".  Even still, when we consider the impact that stress can have, we must understand the value that a good firm spanking can bring to the table.  I tell June all the time and I think it's worth repeating here.... Good girls get firm spankings too, it helps them stay good, and in combination to deep, truly connective  intimacy that  smooths away the aches and stresses of the day and bring us to that special place that can only be reached by a man being intimate with his woman.  Stress relief spanking require a lot of forethought and communication. It should be made clear that this is not correction or punishment, but in fact a conduit for relief and rebalance through the vigorous application of positive and direct energies.  It also becomes necessary to find (or make) time to get the most out of this carefully considered time.




 Making love is clearly an important part of any healthy relationship. I think some people don't realize it's true value and in some instances, might minimize or underrate the worth of spending quality time giving and receiving pleasure from our partners.  There is something very spiritual about making love, in addition to the sights and sounds that make our blood boil and our passions rise, it seems only fitting that sex can open many doors, heal many wounds, smooth over feelings and reconnect after periods of heightened stress and emotion.  The true value of physical release is in the freedom it brings, us.  Less talking, less thinking, passion and unconditional embrace - these things are always important.



The following section is just a series of suggestions.  We'd highly recommend trying one or more of these out!




 If you don't already June and I would highly recommend establishing a "Date Night".   Find a sitter, have the kids spend the night with Grandma etc... Go see a movie, go watch dinner, Redbox it, go bowling, spend some time laughing, and celebrating the unique bond that you share.  Spend some time giving her a bubble bath or a pedicure and really spend some time pampering her... Relaxation is the key here.









Before you give her the spanking she needs, spend some time spoiling her, talk to her, let her know that she has your complete and undivided attention. When the time comes, take her in hand and give her the spanking she needs. By the spanking that she needs, I mean take the time to observe her, know her body language and the weight of her heart... Drive out the stress and take the time to show her that this is as important to you as it is for her.  No distractions, no half-hearts only pure and unblemished love.  Hold her close, let her emote, and let the stress vanish with the conviction of your hearts.

Give her the time she needs to  feel it, hold her in your arms and be there for her. Leave only room for love and light..... Kiss her slow and soft, and then let your love for each other and your bodies do all of the talking.







We think spanking can be a very useful and wonderful part of a healthy relationship. Even in the context of pleasure and stress relief we find new meaning and a wonderful use of time and passion. We recommend it!



                                            

Her POV:
When I suffer stress, or when I suffer emotional pain, I need to be spanked. It is a way - for me - to take the emotional pain and transfer it to flesh - and poof - all gone. A calm relaxed girl who can move through the day without the heaviness in my heart, not feeling guilt if I feel I have been short or less than I wish to be, or my heart is just not where I like it to be. At those times the greatest gift he can give me is the gift of release.

I am a very fortunate girl. Daddy is very sensitive to my mood. And generally he will approach me and whisper in my ear that he knows what I need, and that he will take good care of me...and he always does. Other times I may text or email him at work, and tell him I need his help when he gets home. And sometimes, it's simply a way for us to reconnect after a long week of chores and responsibilities, school - his, mine, the boys'  - for me to feel his delicious control, and for me to be able to bend. That for me is heaven, that puts my brain in that light, dreamy place. It lets me relinquish the negativity that seeps in, and absorb Daddy's love and light. It lets us start fresh and rejuvenated. And it lets this insomniac sleep sweet and undisturbed. For that gift, for his attention and devotion, I am grateful.

The No-Shutdown Rule

                                                      

    There are times in a DD/TTWD relationship that discipline and correction will be a dreaded but  necessary action that  requires a clear mind, a firm hand, and an open, honest heart.  I've talked about discipline and correction in other posts before, but in this post I'd like to illustrate the importance of connectivity, even during correction, unmet expectations, or hurt feelings.

Sometimes it can be difficult to express the let-down that we feel in our partner's actions, non-actions and potentially careless words or deeds. That's why June and I feel that communication and expression are vital to us and our interpretation of this lifestyle. Sometimes irritation, disappointments, hurt feelings, etc. can cloud  the effectiveness of  what we are really trying to communicate. I know that I can be fairly adamant about my expectations and when they should be met. In most instances June and I are very much on the same page, but there have been a few occasions where she or I were off the mark and needed to take a few min to get emotion out of the picture, think clearly and not let hurt or anger get the best of us.

                                                      

 

We also believe that taking time is one thing, but drawing out an unresolved problem is unhealthy and unnecessary.  Shutting down is never acceptable in our house. I mean I have to think that if I am the HoH and I am to effectively lead and guide my family, that it is even LESS acceptable for me to start shutting down and be non-communicative. In the beginning this was something that I struggled with and no, I'm not proud of that. June got me thinking and talking and for me that was a major, major step, even outside DD/TTWD. I've never been in a relationship that made communication so easy, so fluid, and so welcome and even despite my attempts to clam-up and keep to myself, our love won out and I found my voice.  We think that it is far better to put things on the table, refine our thoughts, and turn towards the relationship in order to clear the air and move forwards before the sun sets.  Letting an issue stagnate can only lead to hard feelings, and cracks in the armor of our relationships and our own interaction.

                                            


  When  June and I discussed the foundation of our relationship we realized that one of the things that makes BOTH of us better is accountability and while I may not be the one on the receiving end of a good spanking, the standards of our relationship must, do and in fact apply to a higher standard for me. We often tell our youngest to "use your words" and that's something that I do in fact have to tell myself.... I'll be honest in that regard.  I'm like a lot of men, I don't want to talk about it... but being the man, the man my wife and children look to for answers, the head of our home, has taught me that I can't afford to do that anymore... That and June will, and in fact should, call me on that.  If it came down to it, she would place herself across my lap and have me spank her until I could communicate the emotions that I was feeling and how we can get to a better place.



                                                   

 Harmony can be disrupted fairly easily, sometimes we don't take notice of the small things our partners do to enrich our lives and our families. Sometimes it seems as if our partners don't care, or like what is important to us isn't important to them and that can and does hurt. Nobody likes to have their thoughts or feelings marginalized and I think that puts the onus on the HoH to ensure that there is no shut-down, no loss of communication and no distances that can hurt the relationship in either the long or short-term.  Take the time to put your emphasis on getting to a shared place of comfort that  has the strength and conviction to move forward despite discomfort, hurt feelings and/or anger.... The relationship benefits and let's be honest, folks, there are way better things to be doing at the end of the day than fighting or not talking to each other... just sayin!

                                                     

                                                         

Her POV:

This has been my greatest challenge. Because of my life, it has always been safer to shut-down. If you let them see how you were affected, or that you were hurt or bothered, it only got worse. I was very good at stuffing things down. Daddy does not allow this...not in the very least. The first time, during a conversation about the necessity of communicating what I felt, he used the phrase - passive-aggressive.....just cut me to the very core. He's right...he always is (sighs....schnoots to Daddy ALWAYS being right!....jk). It is passive aggressive. I wasn't aware of it. My tone was clipped, my answers short. "Yes, Daddy" became an eyes down "yes" .... shudders. But those were just the motions of our dynamic, it was not authentic.

Then we got to a different place. I would communicate... not right away. Sometimes I needed that moment to stuff down that eye roll, or that sarcastic remark and think about how I really felt and filter my emotions. It got me spanked. Why? I didn't communicate that I needed a moment to process, that I wasn't distancing myself from him, from us, but that I was using a minute to work things out in the framework of our relationship and be able to bring it to him respectfully. So I got spanked. Then we talked. He apologized. And I said if I need that moment, how about if I saw, "Daddy, I need a minute to process, please." Then he knows I am not shutting down.

It works. It lets us both know that we are present for each other, and for our relationship. He can do this too... and he has, "Daddy needs a moment to sort this out, lovey. We'll talk about this later (or tonight)." This space gives us the opportunity to enumerate our points, make sure we understand what we need, and frame them in the best possible way to serve our relationship.

I will call him on it. In TTWD I am very much accountable to him. But he is also accountable to me, to our God, and to our family as the head of our home, Distancing is so damaging. There is nothing in the world wrong with holding him accountable....respectfully. I did it wrong in the beginning..."You know what would happen to me if I did what you're doing?" YIKES! But as soft hand on his shoulder, or his leg, or just curling up beside him and winding my fingers with his, a soft kiss and a,"Daddy, distance is against our rules. I think we need to talk about what's on your mind.", or yes, laying across his lap... sometimes both. If the air needs to be cleared, this is the mechanism we have established to do so. No, not correction, discipline, we all need it... it goes hand in hand with accountability.

And the bottom line - heck yeah, there are better things we can be doing :)

Dominance and Submission Exercises

                                                      

Submission is a valuable and wonderful gift that must be nurtured, developed, maintained and recognized every day to obtain the most worth.  Understanding the lady of the house, what she values and what makes her feel connected and valued most is invaluable to receiving and maintaining her submission.  It could be as simple as a request. It could be as complicated as regular maintenance spankings that are designed and centered around what makes her feel submissive.  The impact that freely given and well maintained submission can bring to a DD/TTWD relationship is substantial, and speaking as a HoH, extremely rewarding.  June and I spend a portion of every day connecting to our  (My dominant, her submissive) sides and nurturing it in ways that provide an immediate and obvious benefit.  "Sweety can you bring me a glass of water?"  "Here let me do that, you go and sit down, rest for a while"   These things are simple, cost nothing and keep the focus on the relationship and the people in it.

                                                    

I recommend finding or making a time in your evening routine to connect.  Spend some time talking, and working on your dominant and submissive roles. Sometimes this might mean working hard to find the grace necessary to submit with a gentle and grateful heart despite the first thoughts and comments that may pop into one's head. It is also important that a HoH recognize and praise the effort. It isn't always easy to submit. Pain, exposure, and being outside one's comfort zone can makes submission a challenge. Improving communication is the goal here.  I'd also like to emphasize the importance of the individuality that belongs to each couple and the suggestions that June and I offer here can be easily reworked to fit your needs.

                                                 


Here are a couple of  dominance and submission exercises.

- Spanking - Well you knew this one was going to be here. Ladies, this is the time to show him that you can gracefully accept and yield to being under his hand. Take a hot bath, have a cup of warm tea, unwind or read for a little while before approaching him. Find something that stings... something that might not be your favorite, or something you don't enjoy. Bring it to him and place yourself right over his lap. Have him spank you a slow to moderate pace and let yourself feel it, embrace the heat and find your grace and submission.

I realize that this can be difficult to do, but that's why we do it. Building grace and accepting dominance when it is difficult is a hallmark of a strong  submissive.

                                                     

For the dominant partner, I recommend giving her praise and grace. It is important for you to let her know that this is in fact, a exercise in submission and that you very much appreciate it's difficulty.

                                                     

For HoH's - Take the lead, take  over when she needs you to.  Walk up behind her, whisper your appreciation in her ear and finish dinner or the dishes,  speaking of dinner, if you both need to decompress, turn dinner down on low, and go to your room and spend some time giving her your full attention and awareness.

                                                        

-Romance - It might sound odd, but a healthy well groomed sense of romance is a very good way to remind ourselves of our place in the relationship.  Write each other letters (pen and paper guys),  take her kisses  and give her the strength and warmth of your body.  We recommend the use of blindfolds, scented candles, molten wax, soft music, restraints  (I know, I know, I sound like a freak, but try it, it works...I promise). Make love like a man and a woman and do so with an unselfish hungry fashion... It will be a delicious experience.


                                               




Finding and nurturing submission leads to ease of communication, increased intimacy, a full and intimate understanding of each other and each other's dreams, ideas, fantasies, wishes and how best to fulfill them. We would encourage you to find and use what works for you to deepen your relationship roles, and greater contribute to the strength of your relationship!




                                            

Her POV:

We've said it before, and I will say it again - TTWD is not one-size-fits-all. You may already have an idea of the things that turn you into girl goo. And there may be others that you learn as you grow together as a couple. Don't be afraid to tell him when something makes you go weak in the knees, or gives you those delicious brain tickles..."I liked when you did ..." All I have to tell Ward is...mmm, that gave me brain tickles, Daddy. Generally, though, he is more than well aware of the effect he has on me by my reaction, and he is not afraid to capitalize on that.

Observe your partner, watch for what makes her softer and turn into you...watch what makes his eyes burn a little brighter, his verbal and physical response become clearer, surer, more confident...sometimes even take on that delicious dark little edge. Show your mindfulness, when you know he has had a hard day, slide behind him on the sofa, massage his neck and shoulders as he reads or watches TV (chances are he won't be doing either for very long), sit at his feet, remove his shoes and socks and massage his weary feet and legs.

We had a conversation after a very seemingly ordinary moment that cranked my gears...I could feel it wash over me, and I could feel myself bending to him. When I told him, he smiled and said that he knew because he could feel my voice turn inward and could see my submission surge in my eyes, in my manner, he could feel me bend. It is pleasurable to serve him.

One thing that I do is try to always be mindful that the things I do for him are a service in my submission... be it that glass of water, or stopping whatever it is I was doing to give him my attention... everything that I do, every look that I give, every response that I utter is an opportunity to express my submission to his leadership.

June's Perfect Storm GG Spanking

Okay, *blushes furiously*. This is the recipe to make June into a great big pile of girl goo. Daddy is a most incredible chef indeed. This is - of course - a good girl spanking. It is what makes me soft and super submissive and totally dreamy. There's lots of touching, and stroking, and rubbing, and biting... and other things. It lets me feel my place and his control in the most delicious of ways. It generally takes him quite a while to mop me up....he says it's worth it, imagine that!

Every spanking begins and ends with Daddy's hand. This is both to warm up and connect us, flesh to flesh and center us on each other.  He starts by rubbing, so lovely, and rubs intermittently throughout the spanking.

 The  hairbrush is Daddy's signature and is included in every spanking regardless of intent. Every spanking is an exercise in submission with grace. The hairbrush communicates that I and my submission belong to him - a sort of role affirmation, and reminder that my submission and obedience are expected.I always seek his hand during this part, and lace my fingers with his.

Mmmmmm, the yummy strap (The Angel Maker). No matter how stingy the hairbrush was, a few strokes in and I am floating in my happy place, and it only gets better the longer he goes. Daddy starts on my bottom, but then uses this strap from shoulders to ankles. That means at some point he gets up from beside me, and removes his arm - when that happens, I have no idea.

This little strap is another delicious sensation. It pushes me further and further down that melty place. I think he alternates from besing side-by-side to standing, but I couldn't swear to that.

 

Mmmmm, Daddy's belt - totally yummy, from the jingle of the buckle to the sound of it sliding through his pants loops it is totally yummy. He is generally standing, but winds up winding it tight around his hand and back beside me with his arm over me again.

Back to the brush, his signature, to remind me again that I belong to him and that my pleasure, my pain, and my submission belong to him. No ouch this time because I'm all floaty-floaty.

And we end with his hand to center us in each other again,.                                                                                           

When he is done, he draws me into his arms, and lets me come back to myself in my own time. And I'm pretty sure I look something like this:

HIS POV:

June is my very sweet good girl, and as such she gets plenty of good girl spankings. As I like to say,  good girls need more spankings than naughty girls, the spankings help them stay good... It also helps us feel our place and enhances our lovins'... yes, life is good!