Saturday, May 26, 2012

Psychological explanation for TTWD??

Here is something you didn't know about me. I go to school. When my then husband left my children and I for a girl half our age, I was shocked to say the least. I had planned on going back to school when my youngest was in school for midwifery or psychology. When he left, I wanted to remain available for my youngest as I was for my oldest, and thought that I could not do either and still be available for the boys. So I decided on computer information systems - what the fluff was that about?

It seemed the wise thing at the time. No clinicals, study from home, work and school both online, the boys don't suffer. At first it was not so bad. But gradually, I felt like I was beating my head against the wall. I disliked the business classes. I disliked the corporate environment. And after a while coding, instead of being fun - look what I can make the computer do,

became oh my God, it's eating my brain! It was like sitting in a room alone all day doing calculus - blech!





                                                    
It was absolutely soul-sucking.

I talked to Ward about it, and as supportive as ever, he told me to do what was going to make me happiest, even if it meant 'losing' time in obtaining my degree. And, happily as it turned out, I actually will be done one semester sooner, all of my CIS credits filled all my free electives. All I have to take are my core classes and in 14 months I'll have my BA in Child and Early Development. You can't do clinical work with a BA, but there is an agency in town which does crisis interventions in schools, and places at risk children with a counselor available through the school day. I will go to work with them as I pursue my Masters to do clinical work.

I have Ethics and Intro to Psych this session and I am carrying an A in both classes. I feel engaged, excited and invested. This week in psych we are studying emotion, stress and personality. And as I was doing some reading for class today I had this light bulb moment. Something I read equated so incredibly with TTWD that I had to share it. I know I'm not the only one that wonders why TTWD is a very real need for some of us.

Many of us have said we don't know why the spanking makes us feel better, it just does. I read the following passage and the note I made in my book was this: DD has health benefits! The passage reads:

     James Pennebaker and his colleagues  have conducted many correlational  and experimental         studies that demonstrate the advantages to our mental and physical health of opening up versus suppressing our feelings. This research team has found that simply talking about or writing about our emotions or our reactions to negative events [negative thoughts from our past and actions based upon our fears & doubts are what leads most of us otk] provides substantial health benefits. For instance Pennebaker and Beall randomly assigned students to write about either the most traumatic and stressful events of their lives or trivial topics. Although the students who wrote about the traumas had higher blood pressure and more negative moods immediately after they wrote their essays, they were also less likely to visit the student health center for illness during the following six months.

And a subsequent passage:
     Daily writing about one's emotional states has been found to increase immune system functioning.



WOW! So that means that those of us who are in DD relationships, where we communicate often and better, are open about our negative thoughts and feelings and also blog - are a pretty darn healthy bunch, emotionally and physically and have killer immune systems. Hmmmm, ya think we could advocate DD for it's health benefits ?

8 comments:

  1. Wow! Thanks for this insight. I always appreciate the time and research you put into your posts and how you elucidate concepts I find difficult to grasp.

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    1. You're most welcome. I like to analyze - sometimes I over-analyze, but I do like to understand my motivations. And I've seen others question things, so I thought I should share.

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  2. Great post June. Good to know that what we do is keeping us healthy.

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    1. Thanks, faerie! I know, right? I was in the Children's Museum with the kids, studying while the ran around, back in the back all by myself going - "A-HA!" lol.

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  3. CIS is my thing - I'm one of those who'd enjoy sitting in a room all day doing calculus. :)

    AWESOME, though, that you didn't lose time by switching!

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    1. I thought I could do it, Conina, but I should have known better - I'm an INFJ. In every job I've ever done and in my personal life I've always been able to read people and felt the need to counsel. It was a crazy divorce induced decision, lol, not the best time to make life decisions.

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  4. I think the pros outweigh the cons. The more I read about couples in this lifestyle the more pros I see - communication, togetherness, less fighting, arguing ect. I'm new to all of this and just trying to see how the dynamic works for others. Awesome post! :)
    Fondly,
    Addy

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    1. Thanks for reading, Addy & I'm glad you found it helpful. I do a lot of introspection, lol, I have this deep need to understand the whys of things and why they affect me.

      Yes, I agree, I see very little negative - certainly in my life with Ward - and elsewhere in blogland. As I said in a prior post - we really are transcendent.

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